I know some would think this should belong in the relationship problems thread, but I feel my situation is... different than the usual relationships.

Almost five years ago, one of my closest friends (who was also my girlfriend) moved to Germany. Of course, I was devastated. I carved her initials into my hand, and eventually they faded away, antisocial, depression, anxiety, worry, all that good shit. About a year later, I was part of the way through my freshman year in high school, and she and I re-established contact with one another via internet. We were on and off for the year, and then she suggested we try other people (I was dumped). So for the first time in my life, I found somebody other than her to show affection to. This second female and I only lasted three months, the last of which I was really trying to keep her around. My infatuation with her was beyond unhealthy. To this day it still hurts a little when I think about it. Some other shit happened with her and we don't talk anymore. A year after that breakup, female one asked me to keep dating her again (all the other guys there were horndogs, but then again, teenage guys, little surprise). November twenty-second, two thousand twelve, anno domini, she made me promise to marry her when we were of age (we were more or less engaged). Another year passed of her avoiding her father and talking to me in secret, and slowly I lost contact altogether. She came home to the states a year later and we got together and nearer to each other some more, over her spring break. This woman is my driving force, I have no point in life without her. She inspired me to be what I am today, so that I could give her the best life possible.

Anyway. She moved back to Germany and has been there for nearly a year. I published a book. Designed some cool things. Nearly failed another grade. I lost contact with her almost two months ago. I go on my second FB today (I made a second to see how she was doing on her first account, her dad blocked my first account so we cant talk there) and see she claimed to have started a relationship with another guy today.

I'm not sure if shes serious about this guy and I'm chop liver or if shes using him as a placeholder to pacify her dad about her "in a relationship" status with nobody on the other end or if... I just dunno. Please help guys. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm at the end of my rope. Without her... I don't know how I can make my life meaningful anymore. What do I do? Only one of my friends remains nearby, the rest moved away... There's only about two thousand people in my town and most are adults, and I just feel so alone... I don't know what to do anymore...

I'm not old enough to smoke or drink yet, the only thing I can do to dull the pain is pretend like my life isn't mine.. I just sound like a bad love story with no chance at a happy ending...

It sounds to me like you need to take a breath, and place a little more faith in her. Better yet, if she's making you promise to marry her, this probably won't go anywhere anyways. From what it sounds, you may need to try talking to her about it over you're second facebook account, or any other means of contact. Besides that, try finding other friends. Because it sounds like you need to find someone out there to talk to as well. And don't think about getting into drugs and alcohol. That's just gonna make things shittier, even if you were old enough to do it. Just keep in touch with her, make sure to support her, and better yet, do you and her both a favor, and find a driving force in supporting yourself, and finding confidence in your own life. If you really wanna be the best you can for this girl, don't let her be the only thing that will inspire you to do it. Continue to do things you enjoy doing, and appreciate the chance to really find yourself through all of this. If she's the only thing driving you forward, then maybe it's time to start looking for other inspirations to drive you. And last and most importantly, don't give up, No matter what happens, don't. There are millions of horrible things in this world, many reasons to give up, and believe it's hopeless, but there's just as many amazing things out there to be inspired by, and find hope in. Look for these amazing things, be they people, passions, hobbies, places, etc. It's not hopeless for you, even if she's not there in person, she's still there, and if one day she doesn't come back, don't give up, because it would've been all for nothing if you do.

>>3 I don't know where to look for said amazing things, the internet is my only refuge for things like this. I don't want to burden my family with it, and I don't want my little sister to see her big strong big brother break down in tears with no obvious trigger. I don't know how to keep in contact with her. My computer sucks too much to do videochatting (even if I had the money for equipment for it), the phone I just got doesn't support kik, her father (who snoops her profile) thinks I'm too depressing to be around his little girl (and he's right). I don't know where to look for friends, the only people here are barely competent hillbillies that I foster contempt for. I don't mean to negate your advice, it just feels like even if I could do something, I wouldn't know where to begin...

Simply ask her about it. If she says she's serious with this guy ask about what you used to have and about her promise. You have to be able to accept her answer, no matter what it is. Making a big deal about it isn't going to help you any. You simply have to accept the fact that she is not the same person you knew those few years ago. Time changes people. You also have to consider that you are separated by an entire ocean. You simply cannot expect to be able to keep a relationship going with those factors working against you. If you really love her, you shouldn't be afraid to let her go. It sucks, yes, but making a big deal out of whatever she says will only damage the friendship you have left. Things will get better. You will meet new people, and I'm sure you will fall for more than one of them, and at least one will fall for you. Love is a game of patience, persistence, and the will to fail a few times. You will find the right person, you just have to keep looking. Who knows, this may just be a plan to cool her dad down, or if she is dating this person, she may realize she loves you more. Just be patient and never give up.

>>5 It's official. She doesn't want to tie me down anymore and wants me to live out in the real world, she says. I just... This is killing me and she knows it, and it's probably hurting her just as bad.

>>4 The internet can give you ideas, but it won't give you insperation and the human contact you need. Try making a few more friends at school, joining clubs, or going to other places where you are likely to meet new people your age(this could be a religious meeting, music concert, art show, etc). In addition to this, find a few hobbies you enjoy doing. This could be writing, drawing, sculpting, painting, or anything. Invest your time in these things. You will eventually find something if you look hard enough.

>>7 There aren't enough humans around here to have any contact with. I gave up religion long ago, or rather it gave me up. Most people at my school suck, to be honest. I don't have a driver's license to go anywhere. I enjoy writing, but its just not the same anymore. I'll keep looking.

>>6 then you have to accept that. I know it hurts, but she's being realistic, and she doesn't want to drag out a relationship that will only end up hurting you both in the end when you both realize it's close to impossible to keep it. You just have to force yourself to move on. It will hurt, but time is the best medicine for broken hearts. Eventually, the pain will fade, and you will find someone.

>>9 I realized this when she told me just a few moments ago, but I just don't know where to begin. I don't know what to do from here. I'm not used to this. She still wants to talk with me and be my best friend like always, but she noticed that because of our impossible relationship, I was limiting myself. I didn't care that I had become a hermit with nothing to do but think of things that could be, and wait, because in the end it would all be worth it. I would be in her arms again and it would all be worth it. A steep price, but one I was willing to (and had begun to) pay. She still wants to be by my side, and knows that it hurts both of us, but the relationship was only holding both of us back. Well, to her. She met more people and knows lots more about living than I do. I just sit at home all day listening to music and trying to think of something original.

I digress. I just... I don't know what to do now. "Live," is such a vague term. What do I do now, without her being the person on the other end of my red string?

>>10 Well, what are the things you enjoy doing? That's a place to start. You say nobody around your tow is worth talking to, why not work towards a license, a job, earning some money and moving. Find people outside of your town. Set a goal to find something you enjoy. Try new things that won't get you hurt ( maybe a hobby, or some kind of activity you've never tried before). That's where i would start. Who knows, maybe if you're not tied down, and you're getting out and doing stuff, she may just come back to you. Anyways, start with the things you enjoy, what beliefs you hold, what values you keep, and make a goal out of it. Do you enjoy writing? Try becoming an author or publish more books (i know you've already published one). Anything really, where you go from here is very open ended, because there are alot of places you can go.

>>11 I'll try. I'm outlining a creepypasta a friend and I are writing at the moment, just for something to hold on to. That should be done by tomorrow evening, and seen on the web within the next month or two.

i don't want to sound rude or mean or anything so first off, i'm sorry if i offend you in any way.

you keep complaining about not being able to do anything/how your town sucks, right? so like doug said, work towards getting your license so you'll have more freedom.
you said you already published a book, right? work towards writing a sequel (or another book). work on something productive to get your mind off of her. (work on those exoskeletal legs maybe?)

or if you really don't wish to give this girl up, use your secondary acct to talk to her? (her father only knows of your first acct, right?). also, there must be a reason her father is so against you? (if he didn't make any complaints about her and that other guy). try asking her or him about the reason for this animosity?

and if it turns out that this girl is only dating that other guy to spare her and you pain, it's only going to strain your relationship in the long-run, i think. it's unfair of her to make you promise to marry her while she's so far away (and unfair for you to tell her you'll never get over her).
i think the two of you should just have a talk about where to go with your relationship/agree on something for now because you guys can't see e/o irl?

idk. i don't have much relationship history/experience so take everything i said with a gain of salt. good luck though!

>>13 Nobody said life was fair, I just deal with it best I am able. Right now though the only thing I want to do is keep my head from spinning and my guts from jumping out of my mouth.

and >>12 about productivity.

Thanks though.

Well to be honest, I'm not sure how I should really approach this without sounding too straightforward. Even though, straightforwardness is my only ethical work preferences. It's just..in what I had just read from your description, it sounds as if you are one to need someone to be around for you. Almost like, you are overly emotional about two things "the people you end up with" and your 'key' emotion "love" that serves as a constant need for you.
I might be wrong, but it's in my opinion and yes I know, my opinion sucks. I just feel that you should know this, even though you might already do_or_do not want to know. I haven't read the other feed backs to know if they had said the same words I have here. But it's worth a shot to say what I think should be spoken about and get corrected or thanked or cursed at for the one receiving them, such as yourself.
Another thing I took notice too was your proclaimed "strength". You think your "at the end of your rope" but in hindsight you seem to be barely there. You moved on to different people from what I know, and that shows how much you can handle just on your own. Giving off affection to a new person in question is also something to take note of as well. But that's not my visual point here. It's the fact that your weakness, is the power of strength. Meaning in my depiction the physical and emotional state of mind that can trigger you into having your own leg to stand on when things get rough or having someone else there to catch you when you fall(sometimes its good but not always anyway). But, so far, you seem to have been through a lot within your own life. And seeing as how you can still kept going even after the -break up- is an astonishment to others who haven't gone through this. It shows you, that 'you' can stand on your own and do things governed by you, yourself. No matter, if someone tells you to do so or not. Your decisions are determined whether you want to follow that order, statement, demand..etc.
Maybe it's time to do things the way you want, instead of the way others might think is the best for you and themselves?
Not my greatest advice I'll give you that. But it takes a lot to see that you would come this far and have things slip away again. But I will also tell you this, you and I should know by now that every ones' choices aren't always going to be legit or awesome in some cases. It will be fails and it will disappointments. But there's always a thing that comes out of failures. For instance determination, tenacity, anything. And those things can be bad. But it's up to you whether you are willing to jump the gun on this.
Sorry if this wasn't any help. Seriously I'm seriously sorry. It's difficult thinking around this. But hopefully you can find things that work out for you.

I don't really know where to start. First off, in a way, your situation is similar to mine. Your's is so much more complex though so I'll just say that I have an idea of what you're experiencing right now.
I feel like I could tell you two different things. One would make me a hypocrite, and the other would make me sound like the hopeless romantic that I am. So I'll just combine the two.
Love is irrational. Unrequited love is like a sweet toxin. And distance and location can be unfair.
I'd say "follow your heart", but that's irrational and would only continue to hurt you. Question is, do you want to keep hurting or do you want the pain to stop? Here's where the rationality plays in. I know how it feels to have someone else's love be your life. It's a drug. The love, however little it may be, gives you such a high and when they disappear for awhile, leaving you all alone and your wounds to fester painfully until they return to make you feel better. You need a mindset to set you free from that. You need to love her enough to let her go. Her happiness will become your happiness, and the two of you can move on.
Like the others said, work to get out of your town. I live in a small town too and I understand that most everyone is awful and you want nothing to do with anyone so you turn to music as a source of comfort. However you need to work your way out of that hermit hole and make something of yourself. Something that you can be proud of, what she'll be proud of, what the people you have yet to meet will be proud of.
You love writing. And if there's one thing that I know about writing, it's that it's written best when the writer is in pain. You need to put everything in your heart on paper and let it out. Turn your emotions into words and don't stop writing. You've been published and at such an early age, that's a wonderful achievement so be proud of it and use your talent to leave that town of your's, use it to take you to new places where you can meet new people.
That little red string doesn't connect us to just one person, it connects us to many. There's always, always, always, always a second chance. Especially for love. It won't happen right away but one day it'll hit you again and you'll be happy. Dust of your knees and get back up after you fall, each and every time you fall. That's life. You know you can make well of your life, I know you can and I barely even know you, but I can tell. Not all love stories work out, so close that chapter of your life and start writing a new one.

(....well I just said the complete opposite of what I've been feeding myself about my little love story. Writing this helped me with what's happening to me, so thank you. I really, really hope that everything works out for you. I hope that I was of some help to you :3 )

Its just... All my life (the parts I remember anyway, I don't remember anything before her) I was hoping I could be her pet forever. I wanted that more than anything in the world. I'd baby her and do all the work and even stay home with the child we would have adopted. House hubby 4 lief. That was my life goal. But now that that long portion of my life is over, and now that I am unable to pursue that goal as is, I no longer have anything to work towards. Sure, I could try and get her back, but trying to keep something alive that is buried and gone isn't healthy for either of us, and it makes me look like a selfish prick. So now I wait, just like always, and wonder what to do now. I no longer have a long-term goal I want to achieve, nor do I have the drive to do it. I feel like a bag of wet sand. It feels like the past few years I spent working towards that goal are now useless. I just... I dunno. This was the day I had hoped would never arrive. I don't know how to live. I don't belong anywhere anymore, I can't get my license (one has to have a C or higher average to even take the class, and I'm far too busy either daydreaming or being depressed to do that) the way I am, and even if I had it I wouldn't know where to go.

I don't know how to live. I don't even know where to begin. So I've become a hermit and a geek to help dull the pain, and drowning myself in music to replace the alcohol I would otherwise readily use. Writing just doesn't come naturally. Shit man I even tried bonding with my father last night and the last time I did that was when she left the first time, over four years ago.

I don't know what to do with myself if nobody wants me. She was everything to me. My past, present, and future. She got me through hard times simply by existing. "As long as she still loves me, everything will be okay," was the phrase I had used to fool myself into thinking that my lifestyle of salty snacks for meals and no sunlight was okay. And now I'm alone, with nothing to do, no one to love, and no one that loves me.

I've lost.

Ohhh I'm so sorry TT~TT
I couldn't even imagine what that would feel like, but what I can say is that at least she's alive, at least she's happy, at least she'll have a good life. You need to let her go one day, but losing a love like that is excruciatingly painful, it's understandable that you won't be able to move on for a long time, no one is asking you to move on right away either. Things take time and although your life may revolve around her for now, it won't always. You sound like an amazing guy, any girl would be extremely lucky to have you as a partner. Things with her didn't work out but why should that stop you from being happy? You deserve happiness too, and I know that it feels like all traces of happiness reside with her but it doesn't have to be that way forever. You'll find another purpose to live and to love one day. You deserve someone that will love you back as much as you love them. Don't give up on your life and live for yourself. Who knows, maybe the two of you might even meet up again. That's the best advice I can give you.