Long story short, I sent a box to an old friend of mine for the holidays, but after the holidays because the post office was being a butt (busy time of the year, don't really blame 'em.) It got there about a week and a half ago [according to my tracker, arrived on the second of January,] she got it, was thrilled, and told me she already has something in reply on its way to me [This was January 5th.] So, assuming it was "already on its way" she had already put it in the mail, and our friendship will be forever and blah blah blah. Cute right? Kinda more like panic, here's why:

Whenever I've sent a package, especially recently, at MOST it's taken a week when sending within the continental United States using the United States Postal Service. Even when it was all Christmas craziness, my box made it to her within three or four days of me sending it. Now, if she already had it in the mail before Saturday, it would have arrived anytime that week [any day on the 13th through the 18th depending on when she sent it.] Now if it showed up on Monday, awesome; or if it showed up on Tuesday; still awesome--but of course it didn't, that's way too fast. However from Wednesday on, I was out of town babysitting (I guess more like nanny-ing) for my mother; and obviously wouldn't be able to accept a package. I was able to have someone swing by Wednesday (as my house was merely a small diversion on their Wednesday route) to check for it, but it wasn't there either (still too fast honestly.) But Thursday, Friday, and until Almost Midnight Saturday Night, those days fit my "yeah, it's been long enough" timeframe: however they also fit my nanny-time about 60 miles away (and I wasn't able to get back obviously.) Of course Saturday as soon as I get home, I check the mailbox, for notes left on the door, a box left on the doorstep, anything:

I live with one of those community mailbox things that go in townhomes and condominium setups. For a block, they have about 20 mailboxes setup and give a key and a mailbox number to every resident to get their mail. If you get a package delivered smaller than about a foot across, they slide it into a special mailbox larger than the rest, and give you a special key with your mail to unlock the large box.

First thing, I check the mail. When I got my mail, there wasn't a special key. Then I check the house, and there wasn't anything left on the doorstep. I check for a note (usually when someone isn't home and they don't leave the package at the doorstep, the USPS guys are instructed to leave a note to tell you which post office to pick it up, how long they keep it for before returning to sender) and no note.

Alright, about me, I overanalyze just about everything. Pretty sure this sounds like I'm freaking out over nothing, but I really like this girl, and I'd hate for her package to have gotten lost or misdelivered something because she really likes me too and it would destroy her. But along with being crazy-analytical, I am also secretly an optimist: so I am running through every possible reason this could all work out:

With this polar whatzit going on in the US, especially where I live; I wouldn't doubt things got delayed a bit. That's the reason I was nanny-ing. My parents were off on business, and while the kids could handle themselves; they wanted me there in case they needed something special in this expected crazy weather (kids getting sent home early and needing pickup, school starting late, school getting cancelled, someone who actually knows how to cook something other than top ramen, etc.) And in just that short timeframe from Wednesday to Friday, two days the county decided to start school a few hours late; and on Tuesday, they cancelled school altogether. The weather wasn't bad at all, but they still cancelled it. And my mother works for some government department, and they took a Snow-Day as well. If they cancel school, AND cancel their department, it's not too far-fetched to think they canceled local branches of the post office. Possibly turning a "4-6 day delivery" package into a "6-8 day delivery." And if it were sent before Saturday the 4th, with the cancelled office days, and the office not working on Sunday, 6-8 business days stretch out almost two weeks. If this were the case, it would have arrived Yesterday, or this most recent Saturday.

And then it could just be delayed from the terrible weather. I hate driving in bad weather; not because I can't handle it, but because it seems absolutely nobody else on the road can. Wrecks everywhere, people driving too far under the speed limit and getting STUCK, traffic jams, it's a mess. If they didn't altogether close the office on the bad weather days, the parcel would have made just as much progress.

However the biggest and most obvious mental debate I'm having is that she shipped it later than I assumed. Rather than putting it in before Saturday, she put it in Saturday after hours. And of course since the post does nothing on Sundays, it wouldn't have even gotten scanned until Monday. I never get to a post office before they've closed, and I always put these things off until the last minute; so this is very plausible.

Now if you add all these delays together, I've turned 4 days into easily two weeks. Even more if she just said it was already on its way, when she really planned on sending it Monday. So in theory, it could arrive anytime this week if absolutely everything went wrong (which in my life, that's often the case, so I would guess somebody at the post office would contribute to fulfilling my destiny.) So in a way, I'm hoping everything went wrong, optimism is a funny thing.

But as much as an optimist I am, I am also a terrible, terrible, pessimist. And for as many best-worst-case scenarios, I have worse-best-case scenarios:

[hit by a character limit...? Guess I talk a lot...]

Namely, the package being delivered early. I couldn't tell you how many times I've had a 4-6 day delivery end up being a 2-3 day delivery. The USPS gets their job right, everything scanned and ready to go faster than usual, little miracles happen, people are happy, and it ruins my life.

Worse, she likes me more than I thought (and believe me, I know she already likes me tons) and was too excited to send one back (as she has been waiting for my new address for a long, LONG, time.) I honestly wouldn't put it past her to know she already had a box packed up and ready to go, and just needed an address but was too nervous to ask for it. SOOOOOOOO... she literally could have sent out a box anytime after she got my address, which could have been as early as Wednesday (if my box to her arrived early as well.) Figures that if someone were to actually like me it wouldn't do anything good, I am cursed you know.

Now the kicker here though, is that the weather really wasn't bad at all. I think overall, we maybe got an inch of snow the entire week. It got to Single-Digit temperatures for maybe a couple hours at a time, but that's winter. As far as this Polar WhoCares is concerned, I've taken showers less comfortable than these "apocalyptic weather conditions." So maybe the post office looked out their window, realized frozen-zombie-vampire-alien-unicorn-babies weren't flying out of a Stargate from Hell that just appeared overhead and see that they were cancelling school for nothing, and continue working as usual...?

Add that together with what I previously added, and you just about cancel out the delays, if not make the parcel arrive sooner. Making me absolutely hate the little miracles that could have ensured a safe, speedy, delivery. Pessimism about optimism, check.

Now what if the box arrived on time, or early? If it arrived anytime after Wednesday, there was no way for me to receive it, or to even know it's safe. If it arrived Thursday, and it didn't go in the mailbox, and was left on the doorstep, it had to deal with that not-even-an-inch-of-snow sure; but it would have just been left in the open for days. My neighborhood isn't too crime-intensive, it's a nice little community with lots of non-curious kids that stay out of your business if you stay out of theirs. And there are plenty of cats. But I am fairly new, and don't know any of the neighbors; otherwise I would have had one of them check up on the box! I've left boxes out in the open for one day at most, but three days? Not so sure. Plus, whatever is in the box she sends wouldn't be worth much to anyone but me (probably some candy, a stuffed animal, maybe a cute letter in reply to mine, silly stuff) so if there were a thief, it would probably rot in their garage forever as they'd be too embarrassed to return it [if you stole a box that was really just a gooshy love letter, could YOU return it without feeling at least a little embarrassed? "Yeah man. Sorry I took the box. But I can't pawn anything. And yeah, she's in love with you. And now I know you have one screwed up long-distance-relationship-life. And you know I live nearby. And. And..."] Along with theft, the package could have not even made it. It doesn't happen often, but if there were a wreck in the carrier, or they made the wrong turn in Albuquerque, maybe the parcel is just lost?

It could be anywhere from early to two-weeks delayed, mixed and matched with any, all, none, or just handful of these reasons or others I haven't even thought of... I don't have the balls to just ask her if her tracker says it has been delivered or not yet, or to even ask if she really sent it... I just don't know what to do at this point, as my head is running all over the place over a silly box that probably wouldn't be worth more than the postage it cost to send it, because I do love her lots, she is one of my best of the best friends I could have ever asked for. She already has lots on her plate, and while she has a huge forgiving nature and puts off a happy attitude whenever possible, these sort of things could hurt her. Surely you can imagine how it feels to send something to someone you really like, and have everything just go wrong; even if it was something small, putting all that love into something that never makes it to its destination can kill you. I can't ask her, because I don't want to hear "yeah" and feel my heart sink to my knees before I have to be the one to tell her "it's not here.”

Just don't say anything. Eventually A) the package will come and you can call her, thank her, and have a laugh about it being so late, or B) she will call you, ask you if you got it, and you tell her "no, I haven't" and when she starts getting all sad just comfort her by saying "hey, it's just a package. It's no big deal." She will be very angry with the post office not delivering her package, but she won't be as devastated as you are thinking. She may yell at the post office but at the end of the day, she will apologize to you for the post office, and forget about it.