Hey dollars. Recently I discovered my brother has been dealing with depression. He says he is feels prolonged periods of depression usually spanning from one week to several, and sometimes he has good weeks. This was one of those good weeks until I discovered this and thought I'd try to help him since I went through a problem with my anxiety. But he takes my advice as trying to force him to change, and accuses me of putting the blame for this on him. That's not what I'm doing at all. I'm kind of hoping someone on here could give me advice. I don't know what to do now, but as his brother I feel I should do something to help.

>>1 You cannot help someone that does not want to be helped. Period. In fact, while you feel that what he said is untrue, it IS true to him. And it makes it all the less likely he'll turn to you should he really need your help.

No one dealing with depression WANTS to deal with depression. Don't take it upon yourself to help him with his problems, just remain open to help him should he ever need it of you. Stay close enough to observe if any major red flags arise, but ultimately this is his battle to fight.

One of the thing people don't like to acknowledge when dealing with mental issues like these is "just talking to people" may not be a good choice. I'd recommend him discussing things with a professional, and go from there.

Otherwise, relax. Don't feel the need to change your relationship with your brother just because he's "your depressed brother". That doesn't matter, he should still just be "your brother" to you.

Thanks for this. Maybe I am worrying too much. I'm pretty sure he's seeing someone about it. So I guess it'll work out ok.

I know this feeling as someone I know also deals with depression. Zeckarias is right though, you cannot help someone that doesn't want your help. But, if you do want to give it a try I recommend just talking to them. That would be the first step, if they start to become hostile or stating they don't want your help, back off for awhile, keep an eye on them. I know it's difficult having someone so close with depression but just give them time, your brother will work through his depression and if he wants the help wait for him to come to you.

It's likely he will respond like that. It's just in his nature to. I mean to say, I get it as much as the next guy but he just feels that he suffers alone. In a sense he might even think that anything and everything that would try to help him feel better is forcing him to feel different about himself. I'm not saying "you" in general are trying to change him. I'm just saying maybe your brother just thinks that, because he's going through depression as a newbie.
Depression isn't something that you start off right away and say "Hey I'm depressed". No. If it's a few weeks for him. He's not full of what others know as being in a "actual" depression stage. You have to have suffered for more than as long as you can remember, for you to understand and say "I know what it feels like to be in that position" not just come off of it after a couple weeks.
Which in speaking you can still help him. No matter how many times he tells you otherwise. Your his brother. If he hates you for things it's only natural. That's what brother's are for. That's what family is for. Family is there to hate, despise, shut out for anything you do. But it's also there for you so that they can love, care, and guide YOU.
Whether it be good or bad. They're there for you. And family doesn't always have to be blood related. If they care, then you know.
I suggest you just stick with him. Teach him the right from wrong even if he shoves you away. Maybe then he'll realize, with every moment and time you give him, that you weren't the cause of his depression. And he'll come back to reality. Acknowledging his weaknesses and failures and accepting the odds to move forward is what he needs to do to get over depression.
But
I might be wrong and everything in here is just another invalid excuse in trying to help another with such little power. Sorry.

Actual depression or not, he seems to keep having these prolonged periods of sadness that really affect him, and that kind of worries me. I love my brother, and love him even thought we have our little quarrels like brothers usually do. He's a great person and I'm happy to have a brother like him.

But yeah! You guys have been helpful so far. I really appreciate the feedback.

I would recommend forced hugs. I'm not saying it works on everybody, but it's worked before for someone I know. :)
And tell the suffering person how much they mean to you, or tickle them,- just find a way to make them laugh! Laughter is the perfect solution, and if you keep making them laugh, then eventually they might start feeling better.

If these things don't work, keep on searching for solutions, or ask an adult for help!
There's always hope.

Where there's a shadow there's always light~