Hey everyone. Its been a little while. So I kinda want some advice on what I should do. Back during my Freshman year of Highschool(I'm a Senior now) I met this girl, one of many that I've had crushes on over the last few years. However, of this moment, she is the only crush that I have never attempted to pursue. She's a kind and caring person, she's understanding, she's a bit goofy, she dresses like a girl and not a guy, she's very beautiful. The problem though has nothing to do with all of that. We've never had a class together. I met her a couple times just randomly and I've been able to tell that much about her just from watching the way she carries herself and the look in her eyes. We havn't spoken all that much, but what I've heard from friends who do know her, they've agreed with me on that. The reason we've never had a class together is as plain as day. She takes the Advanced courses, while I usually take the easy courses and have lately been moving up the ladder on that. And it isn't because I'm not smart enough, I just lack the motivation and drive, as well as the interest in any of the basic school subjects save English(I'm studying to become a novelist) and History. And while I know that it's just because of a lack of motivation and drive that I don't do well in these classes, because trust me, I know I can get straight A's if I wanted to, I'm what you call and underachiever, but she doesn't know that. To her, I probably look really stupid. If you looked at the class rankings, i'm #169 out of 183(Because all the druggies dropped out.) with a GPA of 1.6. She likely has a GPA of somewhere close to 4.0. She is part of the Student Council. This girl is just completely out of my league, and out of fear of rejection, I never once attempted to approach her. I mean, she seems to like me as a friend, that much is clear. And perhaps at one time she might have been interested, but I'm not so sure of that anymore. I have exhausted every other crush I've ever had, and some of them I was fairly convinced I was in love with and that they would reciprocate, but they didn't, and it broke my heart ever more than it already had been. It's true that I don't have a lot of confidence in myself, mainly because people always told me that I wasn't any good, that there was no way I would ever be able to do anything, and it got to me. I'm finally starting to gain some of that back, but I'm ballsy enough as to just walk up to her and ask her out. What would happen, is I'd either chicken out, chicken out and give her a love letter instead consisting of about a page or two, or I'd sit there and tell her everything outright out of nervousness that she might reject me otherwise.

I feel like if there is any person that I know, who would accept me as I am, it'd be her. But at the same time, I have my doubts which are founded based on past experiences, especially the last two months. I worry a lot, and in turn it makes me unbelievably nervous to the point where I can't focus anymore. But I can't help, I'm constantly thinking about her and what there is potential for. Yet no one has yet seen fit to even give me a chance. So I'm asking for any advice you can give me on somehow approaching this girl in the hopes that she feels similarly or at the very least gives me a chance. I'm one of those rare guys that girls who watch a lot of romance movies would go crazy over, and yet I almost always get passed over.

Okay, first off, marks do not represent the intelligence of a person. I know plenty of idiotic jerks with high grades which just goes to show that just because someone has high grades, it doesn't mean that they're better for you. Intelligent girls understand that. Also by reading what you wrote, I can tell that you're intelligent, intelligence can be measured by speech and writing, you seem like someone who would be interesting to have a conversation with.

Now to address your problem. Rule number one of Love! Have no doubts! Trust me if you don't go and confess to her, you'll always wonder "what if I had..." And if she does in fact reject you you'll know "I tried my best and it's just not meant to be, I'll find someone better one day." So put your heart on the line because you can't gain anything without risking anything!

Now onto the process, don't flat out ask her out! That puts unnecessary pressure on her and she may reject you because she doesn't know you well enough not because she doesn't like you. You need to just strike up a conversation with her, even if it's just a few words in the hallway or something, those establish a sense of familiarity in which you can then ask her out. Another idea is to ask her for help with some schoolwork, you can use that opportunity to talk to her. When she's noticeably (if she isn't already,) comfortable with you then you can either write her a letter (love letters are super romantic and it saddens me they aren't used anymore,) or you can ask her out; you can try the casual way of "let's go out sometime, I'd love to get to know you better, only if you want to of course." or more direct and formal and ask her to be your girlfriend and tell her she's perfect.

Be confident and have no doubts! This girl is understanding and you seem like a fantastic guy so ask her out! Good luck with the romance! She's so lucky, you're like a guy from a Shojo manga! X3

Well I semi did it. She was hanging out in my third period room as I was walking in. We started up a bit of a conversation but time was short. She left the room and my legs just moved. I ran out the door after her. I yelled after her, she stopped and looked me right in the eyes. I asked her if we could talk sometime. She smiled and reiterated that she has been really busy lately, but that she'd like to.

>>3 *high five* progress~!! Good, this is good :3

>>3 Go you man! Hey, from here, just be cool and talk to her. Stomach the nervousness, and whatever you do, don't think too much. Just breathe, and let your conversations flow naturally, find things she likes, strike up a bit of small talk, and always be yourself around her. You'll do great :)

Ok so I got my own issues

But this I can help with >:D

First try and find out who yur competition is .. Like the other guys who like or she may like .. Get to know her more , like research her , not stalking ok == but add her on fb maybe and check out her liked pages .
That.way you'll familiarize yur self with these things so understanding her will be easier .
Once she sees how easy you converse or seem to reason with her views on things she'll get comfortable with you .

Getting comfortable is good!
But at the same time make sure she's not totally comfortable cause there must be something different from you .. Like she must be curious to know more of you .
This is a nice start up

Well, I've lost all hope in the matter of a single night. I'm part of the Drama Club, and the last two nights we've been performing the play we've been rehearsing for the last month, and its been a big hit. Last night, a friend told me he saw her in the audience. So I asked him to tell her to meet me backstage after the show so we could talk. So the show ended and I walked back and there she was standing down the hall at the divider. So I started walking over and noticed she was talking to someone, a football player from the looks of him. So I get there, and she walks back, but rather than talking to me, she talks to him again, and then they both walk down the hall together. Not holding hands, but still leaving together. She didn't even acknowledge that I was even there. At the moment I'm assuming that was her boyfriend. I plan to ask her about it on Monday. If he isn't, then I'll be speeding things up because it seems he has an interest in her, and I don't want her to get hurt.

>>7 Good luck! I have been reading your story unfold these past few days and it really sounds like something off a romance novel <3 I hope that you will get the girl but at the same time I hope you dont get too depressed if you get turn down... From what I could tell, it had happened to you before... The important thing is that you never lose faith! I got turn down just a couple of months ago and I already have a new crush, so, you know, just because it didnt happen now doesnt mean it cant happen later ;) (I think... I am pretty much like you, never had a girlfriend that is so maybe I dont have a clue about what Im talking about) in that case just ignore me and look for some other reply for advice...

>>8 I've never had a girlfriend before. I'd be new to the whole thing. And I've always wanted that romance novel relationship. I'm a writer after all. And I just found out from a close friend of hers that she is still single and is still down about her ex breaking up with her a couple months ago. So I'm going to continue to pursue it until I can't go any farther, and under the circumstances I can afford to go a bit slower.

>>9 It sounds just like a Shoujo manga~! But keep fighting for her until it's impossible, even if you end up risking getting hurt. It sounds like you're perfect for her :3 don't lose hope. I have never been in a relationship either but I am pursuing someone that lives far away whom I've fallen for and even though it's painful, I won't lose hope either. Again, good luck~! ^^

So I'm considering asking her out to dinner rather than just straight up asking her out. I'm not sure which would be better. I mean, on one hand, if I asked her out, and she said yes, then it's a done deal and I can't be friendzoned. But if I ask her out to dinner, then getting her to go out with me might be easier. The problem though is that she might rather think of me as a good friend if we hit it off. She might not even agree to it. I mean, I don't have a car(still working on my license) and I don't have a job(Probably gonna ask to borrow some money from my brother to pay for the date. After all, a gentleman doesn't let the lady pay.), and I'm not 100% sure she's THAT interested in me. What do you guys think I should do?

I think it's better you go slow and just ask her out to dinner instead. The reason why I think that is because you mentioned that she just broke up with her ex.
You see, it actually takes quite a long time to get over a broken relationship. People may say that they're over the person within the space of 3 months, but that's not always the case. It usually takes over 6-8 month MAXIMUM to get over it. If that was her first love, it may take longer.
When people break up and go out with someone only a few months later, it's probably only because they need someone to make them feel secure, not because they like them. They feel hurt because of the break up, so they want someone to hold onto them. Then after a while, they'll realise that they don't really have feelings for that person. You don't wanna end up as the person who was being played with because the other was in a breakdown.
So I suggest just taking it slow at first. Take her out to dinner, cheer her up, and make her forget about her ex. Although don't directly mention anything about her ex, because that might put her off. Talk about something that will make her laugh or something interesting for her to listen to.
Only talk about her ex if she's the one who brings it up and wants to talk about it. Sometimes people want to rant about the unfortunate events about their previous relationships. If you build a stronger friendship with her, she'll begin to trust you and may want to open up to you about her problems. When she's become to trust you more, she may be up to going out with you.
Another thing about probs - If you see her looking down, try coming up to her and ask her "Hey, you ok? You don't look too happy. Is something wrong?". Try and cheer her up. However, when girls are asked if they're ok, most girls will be a tsundere and just put up a fake smile and say "I'm alright". Don't try to force her tell you about her problems, because she'll just get annoyed. I'm sure you care about her very much, so if she says "I'm fine" with a fake smile, tell her "Alright, if you say so. But if there is anything troubling you, you have friends to ask for help, and that includes me. I'll be there to hear you out, ok?".
THAT, my fellow Dollars friend, will be the heart pounder for her. She will acknowledge your care for her, and she will feel touched - if not, at least appreciate your kindness.

As for travel and expenses for the dinner, I'm not so sure since you don't have your car yet. I was thinking of a group date, but that might take the girl's attention off of you. Well, if there's a restaurant close your school, you could walk there. Walking together would be nice and romantic, and you can chat together along the way, unlike in the car cos you'll need to focus on the road. If that's not an option, well I'm sorry Shade, I can't help you any further. Hopefully someone else here will help with the planning of the dinner date.
Good luck to you! FIGHTOOOO~~!!! ヾ(*｀０´*)ノ

>>11 A date of any kind would be good. It's like a romance novel so maybe treat it like one :3 research date ideas and such there might be more fun things out there for the two of you to do together. Dinner is a little conventional but always a classic. Get her flowers and ask her out. I'm not sure if she's a sucker for romance but if she is then she'd absolutely love that.
Don't be afraid to be her friend. If you really do love her, being at least a friend is enough. There's nothing wrong with being friends with your lover, the best relationships are built on a mutual friendship, just make sure that you keep some element of romance so you don't end up friendzoned. She also doesn't have to be 100% interested, if she was then it wouldn't be a romance now would it ;3 she just needs to be interested enough to give you a chance so ask away and make it romantic! :3 keep us posted~!

RELATIONSHIPS ARE HARD...

You have to walk a line between moving too slowly and too quickly. You might always be worried about screwing things up. It might feel like there's only one string of correct choices and anything else will mean failure.

HOWEVER...

If she really likes you it'll work out. If she really likes you, it'll be hard to screw up. She'll be more willing to overlook any mistakes you make, just like I'm sure you'd be willing to overlook hers.

SO...DON'T WORRY TOO MUCH...

And try to enjoy it. Don't overthink things, just be yourself.

Yo guiz, this thread needs a bit of bumping. It's about to disappear off the page.
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Bump~

This sounds so cute~<3 like a real love story~... ok.. advice time... One thing I noticed when talking to boys I have crushes on is that I get really happy when I find out that they like the same thing I do. And I think that that would be the case with other girls as well. Because it means that there is some common ground and that we have an excuse to talk more. So my advice to you is to find a common interest. It may just be music or movies or anything really. But that common ground will defiantly give you bonus points. SO FIGHT ON!!!

Sorry to report everyone, but, she is and isn't interested. She likes me, but she's still reeling very badly from her previous break-up this past summer that she refuses to have anything to do with anything even remotely close to a relationship until she's in College. I told her that I'd be willing to wait for her, but she didn't respond to it. She said she wouldn't forget me though, but told me that I'll likely find someone else before she's ready. Why is it that my luck is just the shittiest ever? I finally find a girl that I love, and who likes me back, but some other guy completely fucked it up for me. I'm friends with the guy, and I feel like giving him a piece of my mind, but, I'm not that kind of guy.

She's running from her problems, and by association, she's running from me. And as much as I'd like to be able to do something, there just isn't anything I can say or do that would snap her out of it. I bought her a Candy Cane Gram that our schools sells two weeks before christmas break on the same day. I didn't write a message on it, but I know she'll understand what it was for. I just hope she doesn't give it back when it's delivered. If anything, I wish that it'd bring her back to her senses. Sadly, that probably won't happen. After all, that sort of thing only happens in fiction, right?

>>17 .....don't give up! If you really care for her then you'll win her over with friendship. Tell her that you understand and won't force her into anything and that you just want to stay friends. If she's decided to pretty much friendzone everyone then why not be one of her closest friends? Her not being ready at this exact moment doesn't mean anything, she's just scared that she'll be used again. So prove to her that you really like her by being her friend.
There is an ocean separating the one I love from me, and even though he's pretty much friendzoned me, I continue to be his friend and told him that I'd be available for about two years. I'm not giving up. And if you really love her, if this is really like a romance novel, then you won't give up! So don't give up on her! The world has given you a challenge so take it because girls like that are rare. Good luck~! :3

I agree with Neko-tama.... If you really love her then being close to her should be more then enough.... I know it might of been hard for you to hear her tell you what she did but I think you should stay her friend and just see how things progress from there...

all I can say is that you never know until you try. if you really like this girl then u have to step it up and be a man! you have to look her straight in they eye and tell her not only that you have feelings for her but why! and everyone fears rejection it's normal,but life is short so take risks and if she rejects you ya it's gonna suck but at least you found out how she feels and then you can move on.

Haha. You guys are definitely something. I do love her. But everytime I think about continuing to pursue her, even after being turned down, I keep remembering the old saying. "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it was meant to be." I think I should give it till after Winter Break before I try what I have in mind. The whole Candy Cane thing might bring me so luck. If not, then I go to Plan C. After Winter Break, I'll ask her if we can go across the street after school to this nice little restaurant, my treat, as friends. We hardly ever talk, so it'd be a good chance for us to, well, talk. That way, I can get to know her better, and she can see me. It might just change her tune a little.

The last thing I would want though is to completely end up ruining our friendship for the sake of my own selfish feelings. I wish I knew exactly how she felt about me, but I have a feeling that she'd never be honest with me right now, not in the position she's in.

>>21 well my idea of pursuing someone is wrapped but I believe that if you want someone then you better man up and go after it...which is strange because I'm a girl X3 anyways, it's starting to sound like the kind of romance novel where the heroine is shy and indecisive, etc., and the guy chases her down and basically knocks some sense into her. Now I'm not saying that's the way to go, it just reminds me of that kind of situation.
I like your plan, get to know her and show her what a great guy you are~! :3

sounds like a great plan... go for it! and good luck!