At my school, there are assholes who spread rumors about me behind my back. They've been treating me like shit since 7th grade for no reason, which is why I detest them. Even talking to them or just seeing them can ruin my day. I just feel even more disgusted when they try to act 'normal' with me like any other person, as if they never did something wrong to me. By just calling out to me or asking me personal things as if they're 'checking' in order to search for ways to make fun of me, to see if they still have some sort of control over me. I just feel disgusted every time I see them and it's starting to become a problem. I just wish I never had to see those selfish pieces of shit again.

I know hating someone is kind of immature and a waste of time, and I really want to stop hating in order to get more comfortable at school. But how?

Do you happen to know (a) certain person(s) who can ruin your day by just talking to you? People you really hate and never want to encounter again? How do you handle that on a daily basis? Do you just ignore the shit out of them or act like nothing's wrong?

I apologize in advance if this thread already exists. Excuse me for the state of my English(it's not my first language).

Your English is pretty good, actually! :3 Sorry if mine isn't much better!

You know, I kind of understand what you're saying. In my classroom there's this girl who never stopped to ruin my every single day. She even spread the rumor in my school that I'm lesbian.
I have nothing against the LGBTs but, in fact, I'm none of those and i don't like to hear about fake rumors about me. I had to deal with some serious shit because of her!
Luckly, there's someone in my classroom that knows about this and kind of support me.
You should find someone to talk about this and who can support you, if you didn't already!
Not liking the behaviour of someone is simply human, it's impossible to love all the world: you don't have to feel bad for this, not at all! Those people are acting simply bad even for a human being. The best you can do is not to get provoked by them and not to deal with them at all: the less you see them, the more quietness you'll gain! am i right?
Forget them, don't consider them in your life: they're not necessary at all.
I remember that a guy from my class was being bullied by some girls who talked bad about him behind his shoulder. One day he went straight to them and started to scold them like "if you have enough balls, say those things in my face! Say them!"
Those chicks never bullied him again. It was epic.
If the situation is getting critic, get angry a little bit. It's not safe to let it burn inside without free the anger! But in any other case, i suggest to ignore them.
You surely know you are better than them because I'm sure you're a good guy: you don't need to prove anything to anybody, but just relax.

Theres one girl in gymnastics with me who is always getting me mad. Shes really nice in front of our parent and guest but when we're all alone during physical training or in the shower room. She always talks like she's perfect and she better than everyone. I thought she was sweet and nice at first. The way I learned to deal with her is rembering how immature she and how she a lot younger than me.

I had that problem, don't give them a reaction! They should stop after awhile. If you don't give them the reaction they want then they'll eventually go away. I have people I detest too but I treat almost everyone as NPC's in a video game. NPC's can hurt you, be your friend, your enemy, etc. so just ignore them, they are not on the same level as you so ignore them, they are not worth your attention.
I hope that helps! :3

Yes, my parents. i separate myself from my body and feel nothing when they are near. 2 more years. then im free free free free free free!

Just remember the good people out there. Yeah, some people are jerks, but there are a lot of good people out there too. Just let the jerks do what they're gonna do and try to be better than them!

I used to have someone like that too. But I threatened to kick her ass when I was in sixth grade and she hasn't talked to me since. But now a days, when someone I despise asks me personal questions I ignore them or give them an extremely far fetch lie with a big shit eating grin on my face. It works.

>>7 has a point, a good way to stop hating people or having negative feelings of any kind is to be a "smart ass" or a "troll". People will automatically ignore you if they know you're just going to insult them, or belittle them. That way you can be happy. Though the problem here, and the problem I found when I was in High School, is at the end of the day you don't know how to do anything else, you don't have many people who will hang around you and your self-confidence will usually be dependent on your putting others down.

A more mature and easier way i've found is just being tolerant and patient with people. This is more difficult to begin with, but you just have to think, why are they being this way? They must have problems of their own or something similar. People are rarely cruel or annoying for the sake of it, even it's simply to get a reaction there is always a reason. So first of all, deny them that reaction, if they continue to be annoying or spiteful do what you can to get them in trouble wherever possible, remain respectful and sensible but make their life harder when they are around you. Sooner or later they'll associate this with you and leave you alone. If they escalate to physical violence there's not much you can do. Don't attack them, but protect yourself if you can, defending yourself is a lot easier when you're only focussed on actual defence and again try and get them punished for this. It's very rare that anyone won't see that bothering you simply isn't worth it.

Otherwise, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. You'd be surprised how easy it is to turn their attention to someone else, find out what they dislike and point that out to them. Though this is an absolutely despicable way to go about things, if you simply need to cope and know you can't deal with it this may be the only way. If you know you'd feel a little to guilty try sway their attention to someone you know can deal with it.

Finally just practice being invisible, avoid these people at all costs, be smart about where you go and who you talk to, stop talking to these people all together, it's obvious they all have self-esteem issues and are trying to find a way to "boost" their ego and self-confidence.. It just means they have very little in the way of intelligence and maturity. My solution back in High School was simply to cut contact with people like this all together. When they called out to me i'd simply offer a wave and walk away. If they kept annoying me i'd just go and hang around with another group of people. Lying constantly will probably help you here. It gives them less information and you can make up whatever you like, when people question you about it simply say something like "Haha, no, who's stupid enough to believe that?" Turn the rumours on their heads. It honestly sounds like it's not worth getting worked up over.

Just remember, and I know it's little consolation, but School doesn't last forever, eventually mature and intelligent people outweigh the "jerks" and what have you. Just be patient and try and focus on the good, or become a sociopath, being detached from your emotions means it won't affect you anyway. Though i'm not sure it's actually possible to "turn off" your emotions~

>>1 It sounds like avoiding them isn't very easy since you're all in the same place five days a week. As has been suggested by others, you could try ignoring them.

If that doesn't work, you might try changing your mindset a bit. If their only interest in you is figuring out things to say or do that will embarrass or hurt you, they're not worth your anger and irritation. Don't hate them. Don't look down on them. See their behavior for what it is: people being dicks. Then just let it go and don't trouble yourself over it. If they continue to spread rumors about you, and people believe those rumors over what you tell them, don't pay them any mind. Again, see it for what it is: people displaying a lack of thought and believing rumors in high school.

In general, my experience is that trying to understand things, even if you dislike them or disagree with them, helps to see past the facades that so many people put on and discern their underlying motivations. When you can do that, again, don't think more highly of yourself or lesser of them, don't hate them. Just acknowledge it for what it is and let it go. In the long run, it will make you much wiser and much less stressed.

>>8 said "Otherwise, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. You'd be surprised how easy it is to turn their attention to someone else, find out what they dislike and point that out to them. Though this is an absolutely despicable way to go about things, if you simply need to cope and know you can't deal with it this may be the only way. If you know you'd feel a little to guilty try sway their attention to someone you know can deal with it."

I have to strongly disagree with that idea. That's no better than what the kids you hate are doing to you. You know first-hand what being on the receiving end of that is like. Would you really be okay with forcing that onto someone else?

With any and all interpersonal conflicts, I think that if it's at all possible, the best solution is to be the better person. Don't let yourself engage in the same actions that you're on the receiving end of. Don't be smug about it. Don't think you're superior for doing it, or they're inferior for not doing it. Remain humble and try not to let them get to you. Again, understanding goes a long way toward being able to do this.

The best advice I can give is to just hold out. It really does get better. School can be shit, but it doesn't last forever, and once you're done, you never have to see them again.

I've been trying to think of a billion pieces of advice to give you, but at the end of the day, it seems like in your case the only thing that will help you feel better is changing your own perspective.

If they are not overtly bullying you, then all you can do is try not to care about it. The opinions of your peers may seem important now, but you'll never see most of those people again. Remember that.

I'll leave you with a personal anecdote. Maybe it will inspire you, maybe it won't:
There was a girl I liked in high school, but her friends hated me. They acted nice to my face, but they were always saying bad things behind my back. I even discovered that one of my "friends" was on their side. It sucked at the time, and I was pretty upset, but I could at least take some small consolation in the fact that I knew the truth. I had more information and I could act accordingly.

The rest of this story is a lot of teenage angst and high-school drama so I'll skip to the conclusion: things never did work out romantically between me and that girl, but we're really close friends now, despite everything. And her friends? My backstabbing asshole of a "friend"? Neither of us have seen them since.

My point is, once again, that it gets better. Just do your best until then. Whenever it gets too much, talk to someone - whether it's a close friend or a stranger on the internet (but be careful with that second one -_-')

Thank you all for replying and your advice!
Just ignoring those types of people, forgetting their existence and treating them like a NPC character are great ideas. I always try to see things from other people's perspective first, but with some people it just gets impossible because I can't imagine why someone would want to be that rude haha. Your comments made me remember that without those assholes, I'd probably take all those good people I know for granted and that makes me appreciate my surroundings so much more I guess.
Thanks again for sharing your experiences!
>>5 Good luck!