Let me hide in the name Guster. If you know who I am, I would appreciate more if you'd go straight forward with the advice and leave my dignity alone. It's hard for me to go up to tell this to anyone. I'm sorry... Please, please I just ask for anything you could advice.


I'm a first year college student right now. And things in school are going well. I fit in perfectly with some people for once. Then came the problem, a guy started 'liking' me.At first, it came out as that. I tried to avoid him, not because he likes me but the fact that he's quite a pervert and he is suppose to have his eyes for me. But since we hang out with the same group of friends (or he kinda sticks with my friends) there was no way of avoiding him.


I tried being polite and greeting him with 'hi's when I've got no choice. I mean, it would come out as rude if I ignored him completely. It didn't end up right as well. He took it as a chance to flirt with me in obscene ways. He talked about dying as a virgin. He talked about women being sex objects.


I tried to ignore it, although once I walked out of the room because of it. He is such a sexist pig.


Now, he has gone into touching me when I least expect it. Pinching me when I'm talking with someone. And it's not cute at all. Although it's not anywhere extremely inappropriate yet, I've deemed myself as someone you can't just touch lightly. I mean my guy friends all have these boundaries. My friends don't cross the line and they know I would find it offensive. Almost everyone knows how I flinched in close proximity, how much more touching?


Don't get me wrong, I've told him to stop. I really did. I've even said it in every way I could. I've shouted at him and flicked his hand. I've pointed a scissor against him for it.


But in the end, it doesn't stop. I mean, I've had my distaste so obvious but he won't budge.


The thing is, the touching is making me so freaking alarmed. I'm afraid to walk alone. I'm afraid to stay in a classroom with him. Only God knows what actually runs in his mind. I'm afraid when he's passing by. I'm afraid when he's talking with my friends. I'm afraid. How do I know when it's already harassment? What if he takes this to another level again? What if he starts touching me somewhere private? I'm scared. Am I just paranoid? Is this just normal? Oh my gawd, I don't know anymore.


Do you know anyway to stop this guy? I don't want my parents to be involved though. This is the only school I can be in. Financially, we can't afford to transfer in another school. Anything. Any advice. I'm sorry, but I just need someone to tell me what to do. Please, please, please.

Hi Guster.
You are not alone. I was in a similar situation in the past.
This is harassment if you are afraid to walk alone, okay? Don't take yourself lightly. Don't let this guy treat your body like a piece of meat. You are precious and you deserve to be treated in a way that respects your boundaries. He is totally out of line.
I'll be back in about 15 hours to give you proper advice, but I just wanted to say this now because you sound so darn on the end of your string.
This guy is disgusting and someone had better call him out on it. See if you can get one of your friends.
Anyway. Expect me back in a day or two. I do have advice.

then this guy might as well be classified as trash dont let him bother you i suggest you study a bit of judo just in case something were to happen otherwise just ignore him compleatly your young full of potential and you dont need someone like that in your life at the moment i have no clue who you are but if you ever need to talk just ask for me im always here for you guster

just try not to start a fight with the current U.S. laws that can just get you expelled but if it gets any worse it can easily be reported as sexual harassment either way i wish you good luck

>>2 Thank you, Saika. I will wait for that. I just can't tell anyone right now. You don't know how that means to me right now. I'm sorry if I'm freaking out. But thank you, nonetheless.

>>3 Thank you Amato, fortunately I'm Asian. I don't think I could afford Judo. But I've been bringing scissors, blades, and pens in my pocket in case it comes handy.

Thank you, guys, this really means a lot to me.

Have a friend kick his ass. Or do it yourself. If someone was doing this to my friend and they told me all they would have to do is tell me and then id have "talk" with him.
I may sound like an asshole but I'm not. violence is last resort for me so at first id give him a polite warning after that a rude warning and if by then you haven't taken me seriously then I'd make you understand.

By any chance do you go to SBCC? Ill have talk with him :)

Hi Guster.
Sorry I came back late.
I know you feel safer with scissors, blades and things, but don't let that become some sort of false security blanket for you.
Do your friends know that he is behaving in this inappropriate manner? Does he do it in front of everyone or just when you are alone? If it is in front of everyone and no one is doing anything, then I am a little worried about whether your friends understand that this is inappropriate or if they think you don't mind and am just playing.
If none of your friends have been present when he does these things, it might be time to tell some of your closer friends. Never go anywhere alone. Always be around people who are willing to stand up for you. Show him that you aren't such an easy prey.
For guys like him, 'No' is often not enough.
This is a chapter from a book that talks about issues such as this:
http://jaydedrag0n.imgur.com/gdb#9
(#9 is page 1, #0 is page 2, #1 is page 3 etc)
Take a quick read of that to understand what I mean.
For guys like this, silence and pointed avoidance is often the only thing you can do. You may choose to inform him of why you will be ignoring and avoiding him from then on, but that's not necessary. He pushed your boundaries too far. He doesn't deserve an explanation.
If he's actually just a socially awkward guy who doesn't understand boundaries, don't feel bad either. He will learn from this and grow up.
Do not compromise at all. If he escalates his bullying, you escalate your treatment. Approach the principal or counsellor.
I'm afraid that because you're a girl, you're still a bit soft with your rejections. But you must not be even the slightest bit soft. No hint of a smile on your face when you refuse him.
If your friends understand the situation and are willing to help you, then they can tell you about his whereabouts during school hours, and you can evade him. That is what I did with the guy who was bothering me.
From now on, whenever you leave rooms, you take your friends with you. If he gets close to you somehow, then be very loud and very angry. Scream if necessary. Cry if necessary. Don't be silent. Don't let him live a double life where people think he is just a normal guy when in reality he is being so disgusting to you.
Alright? Don't be afraid anymore. All of us are here to support you. If your parents are supportive types, let them know also. Maybe they'll let you stay at home on days where you just don't feel prepared to face it.

Um. I just wanted to add.
If you think it's worth it, try having one sincere chat with him. With some guys it's hard to tell if they just think it's all a very big joke. Some of them will be very ashamed when they realise that you weren't just playing along and you are actually terrified and hate them.

hmm, basicly try talking to him and explain your view on his actions and such. if that does not work then try and ignore him, its not rude if you try to talk it out first and give fair warning. if hes a jerck then why put yourself to be in the position to have to listen to his swill...yup, just ma two cents