To that person who knows that this is me please dont say anything, for it will deeply humiliate me.

For the past year I have been having weird girl troubles with one girl on and off. Its a long story full of cliche twists and turns, vrevenge and lust. Nevertheless Ill bring you to the present day by saying in the past few months, after 8 previous months of conflict, this girl and I have become very close again. Close enough to the point that we talked about trying again at a relationship. We both said it'd be best to talk about it in person and that we would leave it until we saw each other next.
Then of course, like any story, disaster struck. A mutual friend of ours suggested that maybe she was in love with idea of having me close to her as a friend, but not in the way where she was in love with me on a relationship level. I dissmissed the thought imediatly when I heard it but it has stuck with her. She told me that she felt what our friend had suggested was true and that she was finally coming full circle and ending her feelings for me. I decidedit would be a good idea to get very very drunk and confess everything I had kept in for months. Which obviously didn't help.
Getting to the point now, she has been hanging out with one of her ex boyfriends alot recently and saying online that she is really happy and having some of the best times in months with him. She had already told me that he was interested in having 'sexual relations' with her but she declined because we were still at the stage where we both wanted to try out dating. Now post suggestion she is still spending days on end with him. I think I have all reason to be very worried about what is/could happen between them.
The picture is basically what has brought a recent flood of anxiety. The fact she has no shirt on, smiling and he has very minimal clothes on makes me assume the worst, and Im sure if anyone else was in this situation they would be having the same thoughts as me.
In a few days I will have the chance to see her and I need to get mentally prepared for what is coming. I just need some help/advice for what to do about this whole thing. I will be checking this thread so you will be able to question me if anything doesnt make sense etc.
Am I worrying too much about this? I really like this girl and for the first time in a long time I want to truely love someone and be loved back.
Thank you, and please let me remain Anon

I don't think you worrying to much, but maybe you should look at the problem differently or try to take a step back. How about you ask yourself why you liked her

You're not going to like this answer, but it's honest & blunt.
You should distance your self from her, It's obvious you have feelings for her, but she dosen't for you, the fact that you're worried about what she is doing with some guy is'int good. Because it dosent matter. She's not you're girlfriend, It sucks, but the more you pay attion, the more it hurts. If you want to remain friends with her thats fine, [Its A Bad Idea..] but its fine, just try to let go of her and move on, If you want to remain friends you're Jealousy of this kid is going to cause more problems between you and her. Spend some time with other friends talk to some other girls and get her off you're mind, even if that feels impossible, a I'm speaking from experience.
It sucks, she dosent care about you the same way as you do for her, and you're going to torture your self trying to get her attention.

Dude, this fucking sucks.
The problem with situations like this is life isn't a Hollywood movie. As much as you like her now, I think I'm going to have to agree with the previous posts; you've got to distance yourself from her. The girl is also particularly destructive, everybody knows that. Hell, she doesn't even try to keep it a secret. Unfortunately, I think the picture also paints a fairly clear situation. Nothing you can do immediately will change her current mindset, all you can do is change yours. If she doesn't go for you, she doesn't go for you, it's harsh but incredibly simple. Maybe in the long term her mind might change, but not right now. I also don't think she is the right type of girl for you. Not trying to sound controlling but you are a fairly emotionally vulnerable and affected person, she is hardly the sensitive, empathetic type. It may seem like she is the perfect girl as is but she has a habit of feeding sweetened realities to particular males. Unfortunately, these realities are impossible to sustain. I think you should try to move on before you develop a serious emotional dependency.

There is not good way to look at this situation, unfortunately; merely constructive ways.

You see, the problem is I fear I cant get over her. Ive tried multiple ways, drinking, being with other girls, flirting with other girls, and I always get this guilty feeling and I regret it almost immediatly. Whenever I distance myself I get this huge wave of depression and my sleeping pattern gets fucked up again. She has a rough outer shell, she amidts that, but I have spoken to her many a time, and when she is herself and doesn't 'have her mask on' she is the most wonderful company. When I see her things are going to be weird, and I guess that will decide what does, and doesn't happen next.
I have to thank you for your hep but anymore advice as to what to say/do at this point would be very helpful.
Thanks again

>>5 I feel like her 'non-mask' is literally just another mask, adapted for your sake. She did a similar thing to be a while back, just not quite as intense. She's smart enough to figure out a configuration that pleases somebody, just not consistent enough to keep it up.

Also, I think you are trying to distance yourself in completely the wrong ways. It's never going to be easy to do it, but what you are doing is taking all the easy ways out. Getting drunk and involved with other girls are literally some of the worst things you can do. Drunk just plays havoc on depressants and getting with other girls simple reminds you, leashing you back to her. What you need to do is something that may seem unappealing or hard, but better in the long term. Try taking a bit of a break from teenage life, maybe go on hiatus from Facebook for a while, maybe try to focus on work/fitness/school, maybe just actually take a break from alcohol and weed, just something that is actually good and refreshing. I understand it is a lot easier said than done, but it is way better than just getting drunker and sluttier.

Well its all over now anyway. She is soon to be dating this guy. Another win for the universe and another loss for me. Thanks for the help, however useless it was too me as I could never put it into practice