I really hate him, enough to make me want to kill him with the most sadistic way I can ever imagine. For more than 15 years he keeps on abusing me and my family verbaly and mentaly, even though he didn't abuse us physically still. . . I can't forgive him, recently he told my Mom to diein front of me and my siblings, I nearly snapped and beat him again. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm afraid I'll accidentaly kill him.

It's is not a bad thing feeling like you need to stick up for your family in front of your dad. I had somewhat a similar position, only my dad rarely took it out on my mom, just us kids. After he went to court twice for physical abuse he started verbally and mentally abusing us a lot more.

Talking with others in similar abuse scenarios it would be understandable to retaliate against your dad. Many did it and it stopped there, or they ran away after. Others just ran away before things escalated, while they were still minors. Though everyone I talked to that was abused looked back and laughed at it. I guess what I'm trying to say is it will get better.

One problem could be him pressing charges and if he never laid the first punch then you will be dealing with the law. I knew people who had that happen to them, but they always dealt the second blow and got away with self defense. If you have it in you yell back until he throws the first punch. But just try not to do anything you will regret for the rest of your life.

I don't know the situation enough, or you for that matter, to give a very good response. But just telling you of what some of my friends did might help. Also none of them get along too well with their fathers who beat them, even I don't still. It is all up to you if you want to wait it out or fight it out.

I know the feeling Kuroi Chi I had a very similar problem with my father. My dad was very similar as to what you're describing, however last year he died of drug overdose. At first I was very happy and I thought it was so good but as time went by I really miss him a lot and I'm really jealous of people who still have their fathers.
I suggest you try to focus on the good things about your dad and take part in those parts of him because we all know everyone has some good in them.

that is when you have to help your mother find her strength, strengeth enough to know when the time to leave him is

I think killing him is a bit over the top...You just need to talk to him about this whole thing...I think. He might be going through something too...but that doesn't give him the right to do verbally abuse you guys...Dw man you got this!

i had the same problem but mine was physical the answer is don't beat him up he might call the police plus if your mother is partially apart of like feeding into it and still being with him then you should also talk to her i would say therapy before something bad might happen .

That is quite sad to hear.
No child deserves to grow up feeling this murderous and this abused.
Kuroi Chi. Your own unforgiveness and hate will eventually poison you, but I can sense that it is what keeps you going on.
So I won't ask you to let go of it now - but I hope one day, when your family is free of this monstrous life, you'll think again about what I said and find it in yourself to forgive.
Moving on to the present.
In your situation it is good to weigh up the factors at stake and how serious they are.
Ask yourself some questions -
Is anyone's life at stake?
Is anyone's physical safety at state?
Is anyone's will to live at stake?
Is anyone's mental well-being at stake?

Depending on the severity you can project your course of action. I'll guess that you are 15 - which limits your options in a sense, but doesn't mean you are helpless.

Killing him does not need to become an option. I am all for killing off the cruelest and most terrible monsters in society, but I've learnt something from looking clearly at my life and others - everyone is still a person inside.

I don't know what your father went through, and nothing justifies what he does, but some things will help you understand him. This is hard to swallow for you who wishes to kill your father.
But your father is human too.
Perhaps this is the way his father treated him.
Once you start understanding someone, you lose fear for them. You might even start to love them.

There's more people to understand - how about your mother? Have you questioned her ever about why she chooses to stay? Have you asked her if she realises that she has a responsibility over what is happening to her children? Does she feel imprisoned, trapped? Has she oonsidered counselling or therapy?

One of the most important things for you is communication. That sounds quite dumb, actually, but you might find that you can do with a bit more of it. Please keep an open dialogue with your mother and your siblings. Constantly be supporting with each other. Remember that hate destroys from the inside, so always aim to focus your relationships on supporting each other rather than hating on your dad together.

Now, outside help. Have you consider Child Protective services? Have you called any domestic violence help-lines?
You are 15 but you are not helpless.
You don't have to resort to violence. Be smart. Use the resources around you.

1. Find out why
2. Seek help

..... This is a tough one. There is no right answer. The best one would be to convince your mom to take you and your siblings and leave.

The only advice I can give to you is physical violence can escalate until he is physically harming you and your family. I would refrain from it because of the risk of escalation.

If you do kill him it will only destroy your life. It will help no one and harm your loved ones. As much as you hate him I don't think you should kill him....

When I was stuck in a situation like that as a child and my mothers life was at risk .....I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to call the cops. If you're in school have you thought about talking to the school counselors perhaps?

That's all I can think of.... I hope things get better for you.