*My English may be bad since it is my second language, sorry.

I am in my second year of highschool and plan to go to a university at England.
I have a brother who is 22 years old and I really love him a lot, he has always been there for me.
My mother, a graphic artist who is 52 years old,
And my father, an IT manager.

We live tgether but my brother moved because of university.

2 years ago my mother and father (who are married for 27 years) started to have fights with each other.
My father works from 7.00 am to 18:00pm at his office.
My mother works at home on computer and designs all the time, because of her job, her eyesight gotten worse because of computer.

Whenever my parents saw each other they would argue and that made me scared.

A few months ago my father thought that divorcing would be the best.
However, a close friend of them said no need for that.

My mother became depressed and my father started to sleep on couch.

I love my father, he is a kind person dont get me wrong but what he did made me really mad.

A month ago my mother said
"Arya, I am sure that there is a woman in his life. I know him. At first time he cheated on me I was so sad but I am used to it now..."
And cried.

A few days ago my father said that it was true,there was a woman.
My mother came to my crying and hugged me.

My brother sided with my father and called our mother a freak.

My mother is selfish and whenever my father said I love you she wouldnt respond, my brother says that is the reason he cheated.

But thats not true- my mother is a tsundere, no one gets that.

I got mad at my brother, he has no right to call our mothe a freak even if their relationship is bad!

Whatever,

My mother was so sad and she started to smoke alot and she is coughing a lot today.

At night those 2 argue and I am fed up with it!

My father can be kind but to cheat on an awesome woman like my mothe is out of question!

And that bitch, to be with a man who is married and has two kids...

Ihavent met that woman yet but if I do I will beat her up because she made my life worse!!

My parents has been harsh on me and even my brothe!

Only my brothers girlfriend understands me, she is like my older sister, a great person!

My problem is;

I hate my parents arguing, because they loved each other alot!

They have 7 years gap in age, my mother is older. My mother earned money and helped my father study university.

He owes her big.

Help me dollars, if I see that bitch I will lose self control and might end up killing her.

First off, you have pretty good English for it being your second language. I congratulate you for that. Second, I personally would just stay out of it. If your parents are fighting for legitimate reasons, getting involved would just make things more complicated. If you really want to get involved, don't take a side. If you want to get involved just step in to say "you're upsetting me" and give a few examples of why(like the fighting and how it's tearing apart the family). If you take a side, it just makes the other side defensive and it would just end up hurtful to you. I'm sorry I don't have a solution for you. It is a tricky situation. I wish you the best of luck.

>>2

Thanks alot, I practice writing English everyday :)

Thanks but Im not taking a side actually, I said that I was upset but my father said "It doesnt concern you. Stay out of it." and left.

I know it is a tricky problem, thats why I am on the Dollars.
Thanks,

I hope that someone might have a solution, please Dollars...

I can't say I know your exact situation, but I know from personal experience that family problems can be very upsetting for anyone. My personal opinion is that you should try to recognise that your parents are individuals in their own right, and they know themselves and each other better than you, probably (27 years is a long time). You seem to favour your mother, which is not wrong, but you need to know that both sides have their own flaws and mistakes are inevitable in any relationship. (I don't mean to undermine your anger towards your father, but that is the truth.) If they need time apart, or if they cannot stay together, it will not be because they are irresponsible, and it will not be because they did not do their part in the relationship. It will be because they are human, and even if they loved each other a lot once, love is something that can take a lot of effort to sustain. Divorce is of course going to hurt you, but it is not necessarily bad for them.

I'm not saying that they should divorce - I do feel it would be very much a pity, given they've been together so long - but please keep in mind that it is something that can happen.

As Xenon mentioned above, taking sides will definitely not help anyone right now. What you can do, though, is to love your parents, whether they love each other or not, at this point. Your concern here shows that you love them - express it the ways you can: do some chores, make them tea when they look tired, just show them that you're supportive of them. They are under a lot of stress, so they definitely need it. For you, perhaps the only one who understands is your brother's girlfriend, but for them they might feel like no one understands at all.

As for your brother, if he's anything like mine, he probably has a different outlook on the situation entirely. He may know things you don't, or it could just be his personality. In any case, he is an adult, and you can't control him. Try to respect his opinion, even if you don't like it. (That is definitely a very rude thing to say to one's mother.) The most you can do is tell him to butt out of your parents' fight and let them handle it themselves.

The people involved here are your father, mother, brother, and - maybe not now, but because it matters to you - the other lady. I think the best way to stop stressing out is to understand that everyone has their own situation, and they make mistakes, and no one, I think, actually means to ruin families, whether their own or others. I used to have a lot of unhappiness in the family, also, but it passes. These things can pass.

Hope this helped. Also, your English is fine, don't worry about it!

(I've only been lurking around for a while, so this will be my first post. I'm not particularly tech-savvy so please be kind!)

...Well honestly, you shouldn't stay out of it.
Your parents are people, not gods. They make mistakes, I don't care how long they've lived, how much experience they've gained, and how much more they know.
If they're arguing THAT terribly, then they may make a huge mistake later.
They're your parents; respect them. But at the same time, voice YOUR opinion to them. No parent wants to make their kid scared, they need to know that you're aware of their bickering and you want it to stop.
That's what I'd do at least.
Good luck. I hate family issues.

I know this situation all too well... I live with my Dad and he has gone through... 4 divorcees. All of them he was fucked over by his wife, but finally he is married to a good woman. anyways, like I was saying I know this situation well. Your Father and Mother are too far apart now, and your Father prob won't change how he is, and your mother is suffering from it... Sadly I think they just need to get away from each other. You should be able to talk to your mom, I would. If you parents won't listen to their own kids, they are worthless as parents. I wouldn't get involved with your Fathers other woman, and I would prob get your Brother's Gf away from your brother if he thinks cheating is ok, it will only hurt her later, (via he cheating on her, or some kinda arguement and break up). Make sure you keep her around you though, if she is like and Older Sister too you. I would keep trying to talk to your Mom about leaving your Father. Your father is not a real man to be with if he cannot be loyal to HIS family. He has no right to tell your mother he loves her, if he can't be happy with her. You and your Mom will be happier without him in your lives. If you Mom doesn't have a job and that's why she doesn't want to leave, make sure she knows you can get a job anywhere, just keep trying to get through to your mother and get separated from that man, and try to quit smoking. I know it's not the fairy tail story where the dad learns his lesson and your family lives together happily again. It won't be. It fucking sucks and it hurts inside sometimes (I've been there) but it the truth. If people are willing to cheat on the one they love, they will cheat anything and anyone, and that isn't good for anyone to be around...

Wow.
Your dad is quite... well bluntly put, he's a jackass.
Okay, now that I've said that, I'll input my opinion on the situation.
Tell your mom to quit smoking. Not sure if she WOULD, considering how hard addictions are to crack; but it would be a start, at least.
Important point that I noted: Your mother seems like the easier one to talk to.
Explain to your brother why he's wrong. Or why you think he's wrong. Tell him that your mom doesn't show affection easily. Tell him that your father's selfish for cheating on the woman who hadn't given up on him for 27 years.
The father, oh the father....
I. Hate. Cheaters.
Cheaters on tests, cheaters in relationships, it's all hate in here. (Though admittedly, I'd never actually been in a relationship that involved cheating, it's just the victims pain that hurts me. I had a friend- but that's another story.)
Tell him just flat out what you think. Then ask him how your mother could be "better" to him. What could she do to appease him.
Sickening, but it's one of your better options.
Try not to take sides, despite my obvious bias.
I hate your father, I'm sorry. He's probably a good guy but... Ugh.
Good luck. This is one of the more serious threads I've seen in quite abit.

Sorry to hear about this... but maybe you should just let things take course.

Everyone has their issues when it comes to other people, when it comes to relationships there are also issues there. It is normal for married people to argue even if they never had before (that you know of) doesn't mean that they never did. When two people have been together as long as your parents have been then it is normal for them to argue. Don't worry about it to much tho I'm sure it will all be o. :)

think of it the other way, maybe it's better for your parents to divorce, maybe that way things would get better. your mom doesnt deserve someone like that,