I really don't know how to put this but... Let's start by saying my main language is french, so sorry if it's though to understand. Anyway. Oh and I won't put it in the "dating problem thread" because I think the problems goes further.

Okay, so like the title says, I'm just unable to love someone. I mean, I've already had a boyfriend twice (I know, it's not much but before this year I've never been interested in love...), but the first time I was just playing a role. I didn't really love him or anything so I just ended it by breaking up. The second time, I really loved him. I could feel butterflies in my stomach and all. I asked him, he agreed because he still loved me (did I say it's the same guy? Yeah I know. I really have no experience.). At first I was really happy. He was gentle and everything... He's just one of these guys that every girl deserves. But after one week, we started to see each other like... always. There wouldn't be a day where he would not be with me, because I was changing school and we wouldn't see each other often. Any girl would be happy, at least. But I started to feel bugged. And before I could say, I didn't love him anymore. In like, two weeks. For nothing. So I broke up. Just talking or seeing him would bug me. And I had already loved people before (it never worked out though) so I knew I truly loved him. And I don't know what happened. I mean, love isn't supposed to go at every single thing! Damn.

I have a lot of boy friends and I don't know exactly why (I mean why me, espescially) but they all started to like me at the same time. When I went out with my boyfriend, they stopped, but they started again when we broke up. Sometimes, when I just feel like I want a boyfriend, I look at them and just think "maybe". But I know it wouldn't work so I never go further. They're just friends and they don't need a person who can never be sure of her own feelings. I think this is my real problem. Maybe if I could understand myself I would be able to solve the problem but...

Also, my bestfriend appeared to be lesbian. I don't judge her or anything, really. In fact I'm glad, she's finally able to be happy with someone. And I want that too. But I know I'm not constant enough, fiable enough. And I'm starting to think that maybe I'm not searching in the good way... I've never been attracted by girls, or at least I don't think so. But I've never been closed to this eventuality. Does this mean I'm just an open-minded person or do I really like girls? Or both.

I am starting to think that I just can't love someone. Maybee I am too independent. But I want to be with someone, love someone and feel good about it. Not feeling uncomfortable. I just feel like I'll end passing my life with single-night stories...

Anyway, thanks if you were able to read this far, and congratulations if you're able to understand anything...

First off, for English being a second language, I think you got your thoughts across pretty well. Secondly, I can't exactly say I feel the same. In fact, I probably feel the exact opposite, but that's beside the point. I don't think you are unable to understand your feelings, or unable to love. I think you just haven't found the right person yet. I understand wanting a relationship and I understand waiting for the right person is hard, but it will pay off. As for your friends who are guys, they probably liked you close to the start. The reason it didn't show when you where dating was because they thought they had no chance with you while your boyfriend was still your boyfriend. If you think one of them would be a good fit for you and the person you choose is interested in dating you, I say it would be a decent place to start. You have to trust that if they are interested in you then they have a reason beyond thinking your hot. As for attempting a relationship with a girl, that can be tricky. You have to consider the fact that the girl you want to date isn't interested in dating another girl. And seeing how conflicted you are about this idea, I don't think you actually believe this. I think you are getting desperate and reaching for any possible way to get a relationship that you can find. But don't let my words discourage you. If you want to give it a try, have at it. In conclusion, I just don't think you have found the right person yet. Just wait, that person will come eventually. Hoped I helped.

You're English is great btw
I'm going to address this in two ways.
First, I know someone who says they are unable to love someone, I'm in love with them too (I like a challenge X3 ) but being on the receiving end can be painful so if you don't love him and he bothers you then don't string him along. You were able to feel love so you're not unable to love. Personally I think that you haven't found the right guy yet. Also those other guys probably just want you for sex so don't pay attention to them. My advice for you is to forget about it, forget that you can't love and just focus on other things in life, love will find you in time, you'll know it when it happens :3
Second, I do understand that feeling, you may like girls, only you can prove whether or not you're actually a lesbian. Everyone is curious (even me,) so just talk to your friend about it, like find out how she found out that she was a lesbian, as a friend she'll help you :3
I hope that I helped! Good luck! (^o^)/

Take it slow >.>
"Feeling Butterflies" isn't exactly a "I wuv you .>
Good luck though~

Dear Miss A,
Are you in high-school?
I remember feeling similar to you in highschool in the sense that I felt fickle about my feelings.
I want to clear up a few things quickly. Hopefuly this will help.
#Relationship love is a choice, not a feeling
You mentioned that after the butterflies went away, the love was gone. I would like to quite seriously state to you that love in a relationship is quite separate to passion. While both are good ingredients for a healthy relationship, love in relationships is a choice. It's a choice that transcends passion, which are the butterflies you felt. It's not something you start feeling then stop feeling. It's a decision you make. 'I will look past all the things you do that annoy me and do my best to show you how to take care of me and learn how to care for you.' It's a commitment to place someone at equal or higher importance to yourself. That said, passion waxes and wanes quite dramatically in teenage years, so you might find that it leaves as quickly as it comes, which can make any commitments you make go awry. You definitely should not base whether you love someone or not on passion. Passion will always leave, but in the context of love it has the potential to be reignited.
#Not all girls are happy about the same things in relationships. You are not too weird.
'Any girl would be happy'. Wrong.
Different girls prefer different things. Many girls in books in movies look like they want to spend their time with their man 100% of the time, but in the real world, girls have preferences that come in all shapes and sizes. When different people come together in a relationship, they need to work out whether their preferences match. Maybe the boy likes to spend 100% of his time with the girl, but the girl prefers only 50% or 25%. Two people like that would have to either compromise or acknowledge their differences and move on to find someone more suited to them.
#Clingy relationships make anyone annoyed
Everyone has a threshold to what they consider clingy. Some girls can't stand it if their man shows any affection in public. Some girls want to be with their man 24/7, and will only find him clingy if he calls her too many times. I'm sure you found out where your threshold of tolerance lies through the boyfriend you dated twice.
Funny, it's quite similar to mine. When I was (possibly) close to your age, I also broke up with a boyfriend who wanted to be around me every single day. I just couldn't take it. I felt like I had to get away. Seeing him was making me annoyed. I didn't understand that it was our incompatible threshold of tolerance for each other that caused this back then. But now I do.
#Sexual preference is a spectrum
You mentioned that you might be lesbian although you aren't sure because you might have been closed to this. All you know is that boys don't seem to have the same affect on you as they do on some other girls.
Your lowered attraction to guys doesn't make you immediately a lesbian. You could be anywhere in between. Don't panic. Don't make assumptions about yourself. Don't think there is something wrong. Just relax and let yourself find yourself. You will in time.
#Actually, emotional reactivity is also a spectrum
You seem worried that your reactivity seems low compared to others.
Don't worry. There are all sorts of people out there. You are one such unique person, and this is how your emotions work. You also have wants and needs that are similar yet different to everyone else.
You're not going to be alone forever if you don't wish to be. There are people out there who match your preferences yet. Maybe you haven't met them yet. Or you haven't grown up into the woman you are destined to be yet. There is still room for change. Maybe you'll be completely different once you hit adulthood. Who knows.
What I know is that I've changed a lot since my days where I was worried that if I dated anyone, I'd break their heart because my feelings would fade before theirs did.
I know now that love is a choice. I will choose to give my loyalty and time to someone again one day.
I know that I will find someone who understands me.
You will find that someone too.

I've gone through the same thing, I was friends with a girl for about a year and I thought she was cute and everything, so I asked her out one day, before I asked her out I felt like I had to impress her and make her like me more than just a friend. After we started going out, there was a sort of shyness about it, and we talked and spent time together, and I liked her, but eventually we stopped seeing each other at all, no real breakup, just stopped talking and seeing each other, as if we never knew each other. Basically I look back at that now and I think of how different that all was to the relationship I have with my gf now, (we have been together for almost 2 years now) I think that our sense of "love" back then is impulsive and it is not really love we are feeling but a different kind of bond, like becomeing close friends, not love. Me and my gf now had been together for a while now, but it's not all about acting like bf ang gf all the time, you'll still feel connected, but you will still act like friends. Make sure this "love" is still there even if you just seem to act like normal friends. If you would like, tell me how old you are, I'm not going to sit here and just say that you don't know what true love is and all that bullshit, but I just want you to know that you might not be interpreting it correctly. Sadly what you are talking about happens a lot, people just seeming to fall in and out of love. I think you are just mixing it up with attraction, and bonding. If you feel as though you might like someone, try telling the person this without making it seem like t has to be an official thing, try going slower in a relationship, do things just by how you feel, if you don't have the erg to kiss this person, don't do it, wait till you are ready and comfortable to do things with this person, like one day if you are comfortable enough, reach up and grab his hand. Just don't force him to do these things if he isn't comfortable with it himself. If you never do anything romantic like this chances are you weren't in love. and you gotta know one thing. I think love isn't felt before a relationship starts. "love at first sight" is a myth, I think it starts with attraction, (attraction isn't all about appearence ether btw) when your asking someone out it is throught attraction to that person. Love develops over time of being with that person, when you say you just stop feeling love for this person, I think you never actually felt love at all for that person, but instead you lost your attraction toward that person, and that is normal. You will find someone eventually, don't worry about it too much.

>>5
I agree with what you are saying, but I would make it clear what you said "Love is a choice" in saying it is not a choice like "Today I am going to love this chair" or something like that, it is a choice you make, without even knowing it. You might one day realize that all you want to do is make this person happy and be happy with this person. You might feel like it overrides everything else. That is when you have made that choice. if you are telling your self something more like "I really like this person and he is fun to be around" it probably isn't love, but attraction, or like >>5 was saying, you feel a passion for this person. I think this is what your confusing

>>7
Haha I agree and disagree with you.
Components of the emotional side of a relationship that I classify as passion (but you classify as love) certainly do creep on you without you realising.
But love is definitely a choice.
Some people will have passion that lasts them for life, but maybe for people like me and Miss A, love is a choice, and that doesn't decrease the value or significance or real-ness of our love.
In my relationships I've always had to make that choice. It was a turning point where I thought 'here is the plunge, after this point I choose to look past what you do and understand you as a person. I will not rely on my feelings to tell me what I think of you.'
So in essence, it really is like saying 'Today I am going to love this chair.'
I made it while knowing the consequences.

>>8
XD this is beginning to confuse me XD so then what you consider passion is what I consider love, and what you consider love is what I consider attraction then? so yea we basically have the some opinion, and at the same time don't XD I guess you can just say today your going to love a chair, in a sense you will give your attention and protection to that chair, but I'm talking about an actual bond with the person (or in this case object). So I'm guessing that bond is what you mean by passion, and that bond is what I'm calling love. I guess it is a choice now that I'm thinking about it.

Ether way you will know when you make that choice. Ether way, lets be real here, No one really know what the hell is going on at some points in our lives, so don't think it will last forever because it won't, you'll eventually learn to love someone for good.

>>9
Haha. Sorry I must have confused you because of the confusing way I tend to phrase things.
I consider attraction and passion the same category of feeling. Both of these feelings are components of love.
I'm saying that they are not all there is to love.
Commitment is also a 'feeling' associated with love, and this is what is needed to make longterm relationships work, because passion/attraction can run out after a while. Commitment is usually more of a conscious decision.
For people like me, the passion/attraction seems a little blunted even at the start, so the commitment side of love can be quite a rational, conscious decision. I don't think that means that we don't have an actual bond with the person. It means we made it in a different way.
So the bond can be formed by anything, but not all things last.
Passion doesn't last.
That's what I'm saying.
Sorry for hijacking your thread Miss A.
I just wanted to add that you don't need to have the same things as other people to be happy. There's a curious beauty in who you were born to be. You will find your own place in this world.

Just go with the flow.
It's not that you are unable to love. Because you are. I know a person who doesn't feel a thing, but you are not even close to that.
You are just confused. So my advice is to go with the flow. And let time solve it :)
English is my second language too, but you are really good at it.
Good luck figuring out whether you are lesbian or not. But don't force yourself. And don't make too much drama over it. If you are lesbian, so be it. Don't be ashamed for that.
This is 21st century and whoever you are people will judge you. So don't care that much about it.

>>10
Ah there we go I see now, and yea I completely agree. and I'm also sorry for hijacking the thread as well, :3