So hello everyone!!
I never told this to anyone and I hope that writing this will make me feel better. Thanks
This is my twisted life story:

I was born as the 4th kid in the family. My parents sort of didn't took care of me so one of my sisters, L, was my mom and dad and tutor. She though me about math and how to read and write at the age of 5. In my country, you go to school at the age of 7. So I was getting bored by kindergarten so I went to school at the age of 6. I was always bored in the first years at school, because I knew all that from my sister's teaching me. At the age of 9 I started studying physics. At school it starts when you are about 12. So yeah, faster then usual. I was in a normal school and on my 5th grade my sister told me to go to this super-duper school. And I went. Because she told me. She was the only person that I trusted in this family. I loved her more then anything and she was the world to me. After 5th grade she moved out of country to go study for college in a foreign country. And then I only realized that I don't belong to this family. I was left alone. I didn't studied that much and I ended up at the same studying level as my classmates. I mean I wasn't studying ahead. I wasn't talking with my sister after she left. I hated her so much and I couldn't see her over skype and chat with her like the perfect family we aren't.
In my 6th grade I took 3 months with a teacher in physics. And in those 3 months I studied all the physics needed in middle school and half of highschool. Some might call me genius, but I need motivation to study. And I don't consider myself a genius.
As I entered highschool I was in a math-programming class. In 10th grade I hated my sister so much that I said I would drop physics(even if it was my obsession/love/destiny) and go for med school. And then 10th grade: the new girl in class. Well, I hated everything by then especially the attention that was given. I was shy and all I wanted was just to be left alone. And guess what? it didn't happen. It was that time when I started pretending I was happy. I was smiling and laughing and at some point in time I was smiling and laughing for real. All my classmates started to like me and we were good friends. There were a few groups in my class, but I was in none, and still I was their favorite and I was the one that make them talk to each other. I was actually feeling loved and I was happy for that.
One year later~ 11th grade~ I had a cold. So, a future doctor that I'll be, I said that I'll just go to the doctor and let her give me some pills and then go back to school. My cold was getting a bit worse, but I decided that I should really really go to the doctor. I went to that woman and she gave me some pills. After a day I started feeling worse. And worse. And my head was shaking like the dog in the picture and not to mention my right hand. I called for an ambulance and guess what: the doctor that I trusted my life with gave me an overdose of pills and since karma thought that wasn't enough, I was allergic to one of them( there were 2 types of pills).
My parents got scarred and sent me to hospital. 4 days later I came out from hospital: memory gone!! the doctors from hospital gave me some damn strong pills that were making me act weird. Like the memory lost thing wasn't enough -_- (I had started to go to school after a week I got out of hospital)
That's fucking annoying. I had no memory of who I was. I knew that my mom was a person of trust. I didn't knew she was my mom, and I didn't even knew her name. I remembered one of my sisters name, S, and I knew she was my sister. But that was all. There was me in that group of persons unknown to me, who were, ironically, my family. I didn't knew their names. I was barely saying words. I just stood there were they left me. I was watching them and I just waited for any of them to say some names so I could call them if I needed.
I was feeling nausea, I was sleepy and JEEZ! I was sleeping anywhere. I was sleeping in the shops, I was sleeping on the stairs. I was so sleepy that I took a nap everywhere I had a chance to. I remember this funeral after 2 days that I got out of hospital and I was feeling so bad from the medication, and I remember that I slept on the grass -_- it was like I was full awake and the next second I was fast asleep. I couldn't control my body. And I was shaking almost all the time. I was weak like I couldn't carry 0.5 kg of something. I was way to weak

After 4 months my parents send me and my sister S to sister L. Then I started talking, and the language was english and not my country language. After a few weeks I started remembering things.
God knows how I did finished 11th grade since I really couldn't remember anything. I haven't told anyone that I had memory lost since I find it as a bad thing. So my teachers didn't knew. I had a great friend in my class, D, and he was a good listener. But I never told him about this. I pretended to be normal. I was silent most of the time. And he was there for me. Just his presence was making me feeling better.
Anyway, back to the story.
I started remembering things, and it hurted. But I'm still alive. After 12 grades, in my country you have those damn big exams in order to get to college. I started studying hard to recover all those years spend in school and I got the lowest grade to pass it. And I pass those exams like I was the most stupid kid in highschool.
After those was the med college entrance exam. I failed it, and I got myself at physics college. Yay -_-

I met some friends in college and my parents decided that they are not good enough for me. And one of them, ironically, a young man, was a good friend of mine(F). So my parents blackmailed me that if I ever go and talk to him they will get him out of school, he will lose his job and they will get him in prison. Yeah, they have the power to do this. So I just started to ignore my good friend F. I wasn't in love with him, but it didn't matter for my parents. But he tried to convince me I was in love with him ... idiot!
Since then, every morning I wake up they hug me. And I hate them for doing this. It was like I didn't exist in this family until all my sisters got married and then there is me. Out of nowhere a young woman in her 19 -_-
They tell me I'm mental and that I need to go to visit a psychologist. They even had me exorcised. Only because my necklace was a crystal 0.0 I mean wtf?!
This all happened a year ago.
Have I mentioned that all my family tells me I'm insane and then they all come to me to tell me their problems?! The truth is that they don't actually want to tell me their problems, but in the end they just tell me. I know every secret in my family. If I ever tell them any of it they could hurt each other. So, I started blackmailing them. Otherwise I start telling their secrets.
You know what I hate most at my mom? When I was 12-13 she came to me and told me "I wanted to abort you, and so did your father. But then, when I got to the doctor I decided that I'll let you live. Oh, and your dad hated you for at least half a year" - that really disturbed me. I mean, GEE!! I was starting to learn about life and good and she tells me "We wanted to abort you" ??!?!?!?!?!
If I'm really mental, I don't know. I'm just a problematic kid for them.
Oh, and my dad hated me for a few years just because I'm not a boy, but a girl. And I remember acting like a boy in my younger years. I didn't know about this at that time, but I just loved my dad so much while he despised me.
I didn't understood why he was so cold to me.
Those days my mom told me how much she loves me and that dad loves me. Heck no I'm not going to believe this. And one day my dad told me out of blue "You are so fat." I was a little chubby at that time, but not fat. The next morning my mom came "You are so fat!!" even she is actually overweight -_-
I remember something funny: my mom got on internet searching if she is fat or no. She entered the height and the weight. And she said "The internet tolds me I'm fat" and then I muttered "It was needed only a mirror to see -_-" but I didn't let her hear me.
18 years they ignored me and now they come and say "I love you so much!!" "You are so beautiful" They are just hypocrites.
My mom is really sensible and she is a very complex woman. And she has some sickness. Like a lot of them -_- I always need to choose my words otherwise she might have a heart attack and die.

All I wanted as a child was a family. All I had as a child were some strangers. They don't even know what I like, dislike, adore, love, hate. They know nothing about me and they act like they own me.

I was alone my entire life. And I've grown used to it. And I don't like the fact that they come to me and hug me everyday. though they stopped doing this when I started my exams at college.

So the exorcism thingy happened almost a year ago. And my parents decided that I had too much free time so they got me in this private college. And all I do right now is going from physics college to engineering-private-college. I eat like once a day since I have time for damn nothing!!
They promised me that if I finish my first year at physics between the first 10 they will buy me a car and a piano (I play the piano).

How it really happened: I finished first year at physics top 5, I'm 3rd at engineering 2 months ago. No sign of car or piano.
And they though me to always keep my word. I kept mine. Heck, I even got better than they expected, but no. Not enough for them.

When I told my mom I'm going to study in a foreign country she said "Well, your sister L already broke my heart, so there will be no harm" and now guys tell me: what do you understand out of this sentence she told me??? I understood that I don't matter for her and if I'll even die there will be no harm.

What the hell am I supposed to do?!
I'm getting cold towards my classmates only for my parents to not harm them. I jsut have 2 friends, and they are ok, because are 2 girls. I barely have any friends. I never had a boyfriend. I tried a relationship with one of my classmate, V, but apparently I have made him feel ~quote~ "like a pen" wtf is that expression?!

I joined Dollars almost a month ago. I feel like I finally have a family. I don't look for pity. I don't want to make a drama out of this.
I never told anyone about this, so this is the first time. I'm sorry if I sound insane or weird, but I'm actually tired. Tired of this life. Tired of living.
I'm actually feeling better now that I've said all this.

There are still a few things, but perhaps you'll think I'm writing a book, so I'll just leave it here.

Time to make a wiki.

First of all, you're not insane! I'm insane actually and trust me you're not mental. Now we're all a family here and we'll help you through this :3 don't give up on life please, you have so much you can do! Don't give up on happiness, or love, or the future. Please don't.
My advice to you is to get as far away from your parents as possible, studying abroad is your best option. Don't ruin your career though! You have the intelligence to make it far in this world. Just keep at it! You'll get a great job somewhere and find love I'm sure of it! Don't let your parents get to you!
Good luck! I hope that I helped you in some way! ^^

Find your own happiness. Go abroad, make some new friends, study hard to reach your goals, not your parents'. If they really care about you, if they really love you, one day they'll be proud of you because you made the right choices in your life. That's the only advice i could give to you. I'm sure you're smart and brave enough to fight, even If you feel tired: don't give up now!

>>3 Plato haha your comment is funny and uplifting.
>>4 I don't plan on suicide, even thought I want that. I just don't know what happiness feels like. I feel like I'm a ghost. I have a big nothing inside me.
>>5 They will be proud of me? After they ignore me they want to be proud of me? I find it hard to believe.

I was thinking of going far from home. But I can only do that by going to study abroad. I'll finish my colleges here and I'll go for a master somewhere really far from home.

And sorry for that long post. I didn't thought that someone will actually read it haha