Alright...So,here's my problem; I'm not a natural social person...The first day I had to go to kindergarden,I was really really confused and depressed.The reason for that is that I did not NEED to be a part of society.Back at my home,I had everything I needed,a best friend who spent every day with me,a nice older sister,a comfy room and a family I'd die for...But one terrible day,this fairytale ended!!I had to get up and go to a place where I knew no-one!!!Where I didn't even know what I was doing!!!Other kids there,thought of me as weird and I ended up all alone,despite some attempts of mine to be friendly(survive in there).Then,there came middle school...I was a brave young girl that did not want to go through the same shit again,so I tried my best and I managed to make two nice friends.(really,it was a record for me)However,I was still not communicating with the rest of the class,so when one of my friends changed schools and I ended up with the other one(who rarely came to school) I was all alone again...I tried to be friendly to the other kids of the class,but you see,they wouldn't be my friends.I really don't know why,since I was trying really hard.There were days when I was the liveliest person on earth,however none of them would talk to me/scratch that...Even care about me!Our class was parted in two teams;the "popular kids" (a team which consisted of four girls and almost all the boys in the class) and the "un-popular kids" (yeah,that's where me and my friend belonged...XD).And really...No matter what I did,like...NO MATTER what I did,those teams wouldn't change....I couldn't change the way the other kids thought of me!!I couldn't change the impression they had about me,the one of the pathetic little loser...And that hurt me a lot emotionally...I could even say that I lost a little piece of my sanity these days!!Haha....So when I finally graduated from middle school to go to highschool,I was overjoyed that I wouldn't have to face the same people every day...In highschool,things changed for the better...I managed to make lots of friends,but I still wouldn't be considered "popular".At least I was not the one who stood in the back and watched the others from afar without being able to do anything anymore.But I've always had this dream...This goal that I never could accomplish and I probably never will...Every now and then,I like to take a look at the stars and think to myself; how can someone actually be....Popular??How can someone be voted and liked from almost every single person inside a classroom??How can someone have 3000 friends on fb when I only have 300??How can somebody make people do what he/she want for him/her??How can someone easily become a part of a closed group and lastly how can a single human being be held in other's memories forever???And after that...I think and think and think,but I never reach a conclusion,so I kinda give up and say something like 'it must be talent'...However,deep deep down,I'd really like to know!!

Hello-- Well I know that feeling and I was almost like you until I started middle school. One day I just got tired of all of that "popular people" and said "why should I keep trying to be with them if they dont care about me? and then i thought if they dont want to be with me its ok im different from them and that is better i just took a book and took it to class and there i read and read and read and time passed and later some people "got interested" in me (i never though about that) because i was always reading and because i was different and thats when i started having friends and also started being happier because when you get a really interesting book you feel like you know the characters and you dont feel that lonely (also fandoms keep your brain busy XD) also you can try finding a hobby or a club of something you like it is hard when you start knowing people but later you feel more confortable because thay are people that share something with you and if they are 2 or 3 its ok better 2 or 3 good friends than a big bunch of idiots that will betray you in the future.
well and why they are "popular" by "nature" well... i think it is because they have something in common that keeps them together in my school all i see in those kind of people is hipocrecy and betrayal between each other becuse within the group theres always someone who wants to be more popular or to be with somebody or someone who is jealous of someone and and i dont really get it the few times i have been with them it was SO BORING!! boys only talk about parties and girls and girls only talk about boys and who has the best clothes or the best make up... well i think its everything from my humble point of view sorry if i couldnt give you the answer you wanted. Hope you get your answer soon. Bye--
note: Always remember to be gentle !! :D

People are popular based on either their individual strength of body and/or personality. Or they are popular based on material values aka the shallows. The ones with the strength to lead tend to stand out and those who are followers line up. just like those who are trendsetters break out, while others copycat to be friends. From high school I can tell you that those are the two paths to being popular. While being yourself works and will gain you some friends and a group, if you aren't confident or have the strength to carry your friends through life you won't gain massive amounts of people behind you. That's my own personal take on it.

i know the feeling,when i was in the elementary school i didn´t have any friends either,though in middle school a friend introcuced me to many other people and now in high school those people are all my friends,i thought i was alone,and they were there,as for popularity,why?,aren't you popular in your own way with your friends?,you gotta admit you can't be accepted by every signle person(there's always at least that one person),but there's no need for a lot as long as you have your friends.They're divided in that way that you described in my school,so you know what we did?,we got everyone from that so called "unpoplar group"(from every grade in high school) and we all became some really good friends,and we all became "popular" in our own way,so what i'm getting at with this is,be yourself,find your own way and it will work out.

I don’t know about everyone else here, but I’m a very self-assured and assertive person. Things don’t bother me. I’m what’s considered ‘leader material’ – I have a strong personality that is harder to overlook.
>>3 explains it quite well: “The ones with the strength to lead tend to stand out and those who are followers line up.”
To get to a position of power, you need skills and perseverance, along with what is called pathos – the ability to appeal to an audience. If you are born into such a position or have the wealth to gain that position it’s far easier, but the first option allows you to grow more as a person and make you more successful.
At my school, I’m pretty much top dog of the class. People look up to me, and people are scared of me. They recognize me as someone with more power than them. The same thing goes for the so-called ‘popular kids’ – they have some quality that is preferred over the qualities of the ‘unpopular kids’.
This is pretty basic though, so let’s get a bit deeper. Think of humans like packs of wild animals – we instinctively adapt to a hierarchy. We’re social animals, and adapting to a hierarchy keeps order in that social structure.
What makes people unpopular, though? Lack of desirability or worth. I’m not saying unpopular people are worth any less than popular people, of course, but they are perceived to be of less worth because of their social standing.
I guess, to become popular, you need to show that you do possess worth. You need a skill to be known by, something to make you stand out. Hiding in the crowd doesn’t help. You need to get out there and show dominance to gain power in the hierarchy.

Up until maybe two years ago, I wasn't popular at all. Because I was shy; I didn't like being in the spotlight. I still don't like it much, but I'm used to it now.
You can't expect things to come to you. When you're at the bottom, you need to work to rise to the top. You can't just hitch a free ride.
I keep my status with confidence. Doubting yourself is the start of your downfall, believe me. You need to be assertive and know you can do it.
I'm not scared that someone else is going to come along and 'take my place' or whatever, because I don't care about my place. I'm confident in myself - I'm proud of who I am and of the fact that I've made it this far. I know that I could fall to the bottom and build myself right back up, because I'm a strong person.
Orrrr you can go with >>4
Because, even where I am, I'm still me. I didn't change to fit other people's best interests. I took advantage of my own skills and used them.
But of course, not everyone has my kind of personality. I've met very few other people with it. Which is why you need to go with what you think is best and hope it works out in the end.
I'm basically king (queen technically, but I like the term king more) of my year level, but my friends are still mainly from the 'unpopular group'. The key to being the best kind of popular, in my opinion, is make friends with everyone. I have lots of friends who are considered popular and lots who aren't.
All in all, don't be a follower. Be yourself and make it work.
(yo this is long and stupid probably no good advice at all but good luck anyway guys)

People always go who they are interested with, who are already famous, their old friends, to their cliques or just wanted to be part of something. If you're none of those, i'm afraid they'll never care about you no matter what you do.

>>5 Well...You know what?The advice you have was actually really helpful!!And...Yes,I guess you guys are right...I'll listen to every advice you gave me....However,I guess that now I came to a conclusion; To be popular or rather a 'leader',you need to be confident,have faith in yourself and most of all...Love YOU!!^_^ You guys helped me realize that each and every individual has its own style,but the ones who don't back down and stand up for it,are actually the ones who will truly succeed!!So,thanks!!!

Well I don't think being "popular" is that important. What's important is how you view yourself, right? Like, what if being "popular" meant doing bad things? Anyway, being popular in high school isn't that important.
I do think that people are born with personalities that make them likable, and that circumstances happen in some people's favor, making them popular. But I don't think that's all there is to being popular.

>>8 I know...But...Isn't it unfair??I mean,events happening in people's favor??It shouldn't be like this!! :/

>>9 well yeah.. Life is unfair, but its just something we all have to live with. My advice just be happy with what you have and try to be a blessing to others :) its what I do

>>9 >>10 Yup, life's unfair as hell. I'm just glad I'm not a starving child in some third world country with a slew of diseases lurking in the water you drink.
(Doug you are a fucking saint)

Ask yourself this, why does it matter to you? Do you want to stand out? Do you want people to have your back? What is it you want that "popularity" will bring? Standing out isnt as good as you may think. Once you get the spot light, you had better be(or atleast appear to be) perfect because as soon as you show a flaw, you are bound to be attacked for it. In my eyes, it's better to do great things from the side lines than average things in the spot light. And if you want people to have your back, you're looking in the wrong place. Popularity gives you alot of followers, but they are bound to leave you once you are beat by someone else. Call me crazy, but i dont see why everyone wants to be popular. It leads to unnecessary drama. Yes the popular people may be able to date whoever the hell they want and may have their own personal flock of sheep to lead around, but that doesnt make them any better or worse than you. When it all boils down to who is the strongest and most equiped for the real world, i'd place $1000 on the unpopular people who actually are used to having to work instead of being given everything their whole life because they know how to deal with how unfair, and over all cold life can be. And just a side comment on the facebook thing, that person that has 3000 probably has multiple creeps and probably doesnt even know half of them.