Dollars I need some advice. My friend is having suicidal thoughts and she needs help. What should I say to her. I Don't know what to do. Please someone. Anyone. Tell me what I should do. I cant bare the thought of something happing to her.

If you truly and deeply care for your friend, I want you to stay beside her as much as possible and prove to her that your selfish reason for keeping her alive is more selfish than her desire to die. If it's a problem at home, attempt to keep her sheltered from moments of stress and get her back on her feet if she is far below the line of depression. Give her a reason to feel alive again, but you need to tell me details or else that is all the advice that I can give to you.

she has these thoughts because she think she gets in everyone's was and she thinks shes jest an object.

remind her that she isnt and that you need her

>>3 So she thinks that she is a TOOL only to be used selfishly, and her own will gets in everyone's way?

If what I said is right from what you said there, then make room in your schedule to hang out with her. With your actions, demonstrate and convince her that she isn't in YOUR way. Do something for her sake that isn't an act of pity. From what I'm getting from what you say, she's the type that wants to know what it feels to be on the receiving end of helping someone, so doing a favor for her out of kindness and care will help alleviate those negative thoughts.

just let the bitch kill herself. she'll go to hell if she douse.

hey you cand be an ass like that ps if god really hated them would he make them dumbass i think your gonna go to hell

>>7 Ignore that GodHatesFags person. It's just a jerk that likes to swamp the Dollars under different IDs, meaning that it owns a lot of computers for some reason.

wow thats insane but i cant stand jerks like him hes an ass to our community and saying tht you should let ppl kill themselves an if god hates fags why would he create them

There's nothing we can do about it sadly... As I've said, "Treat it like air, unless you care." Acknowledge it like air. You can still breathe but you don't need to see it.

true i like that saying

Then again, you have different ID and with no password. So either someone is posing as you or you have another computer.

@Hayden Bass

If you turn out to be the so called "friend" that you mentioned, then you have self-esteem issues to fix. Your "friend" is truly isolated, then she needs to boost her pride and arrogance by partaking in one of her passions.

Just show her the very first arc of all of our favorite anime: Durarara. Tell her that the world really isn't as bad as you think...even if it seems, or has seemed for the longest time that your life is horrible...think about it, your life could be much much worse. And happiness is just around the corner with the right boost...you know?

Hayden-san
I know you are probably asking for advice as to how to personally help her, but it is unlikely that you can do it yourself.
Please ascertain whether she has a plan as to how and when she will kill herself. This might sound crazy - but this is crucial. If she tells you 'Hayden, I am going to kill myself on day' or even 'Hayden, I'm ready to die, I'm doing it soon, I already figured out how' or something, that is a plan.
If she has a plan, you are legally obliged to report her. She needs professional help. Maybe she'll hate you if police show up on her doorstep saying that they need to keep a watch over her, but at least she'll be safe.
As for you, please understand that guilt-tripping or emotional bargaining are definitely not ways to help a suicidal person. You cannot argue someone out of a suicide. I've tried it in the past 'how would I feel if you suicided??' 'how can you be so selfish and leave your family behind??'. Do not, under any circumstances say anything like that.
Three solid steps for you to follow:
1. Listen 2. Care 3. Validate.
Listening involves responding in the right way to facilitate more listening. Do not try to 'solve' the problem.
Caring requires sacrifice. Sacrifices show you care. Sacrifice your time, your energy - show her that you would give up things for her. Small sacrifices make big differences.
Validate. Say things that show her that what she is feeling is not 'abnormal', that she is valued, that she can do a good job, that there is a future for her. Validation is not arguing. It's more like gentle nudges.
Note that validation is only one step out of 3. If you don't listen and you don't care, don't even try validation.
The best thing you can do is tell her that even if you don't understand her, you want to, and then show that you are trying to understand and learn how to care.
Best of luck.

Well i ve seen people helping people in suicidal state ..they say talk to her..or be with her....but lemme say this just talking and being with her wont solve the problem ...if she talks to you more and more and dosnt mentally do something she ll eventually start feeling empty like if she has nothing more to say ...she need to mentally awake her pride and passion in what she like to do just like>>14 guy said .....and i also agree with saika >>16 said you need to use ACTION not WORDS remember that...only words will not heal a persons heart...i hope you get an idea of wht YOU want to do to help your friend after reading this ....The World isn't as Bad as You Think

^ That is true. If you're going to talk to her, it's best to convince her and show her how to stand on her feet again.

the misery people experience differ from person to person, who knows her reasons for thinking such things may be justified, life can be hard. such people can either shift their perspective on life to a more positive light, or they can change the situation that depresses them tho this is not always possible, some things cant be changed. as for what you should do, try and tell her that your there for her, that you care for her and would be distraught without her. try and remind her of the good aspects of life, and give her hope that life can be better, or at least try. the sad thing is some people can only see darkness, for such people their is no light at the end of the tunnel. you can try and make them see the light, but don't use guilt trips as that could make them even more misruable and depressed...

Every one has had suicidal thoughts at one point in their life. Tell her that there is more to live for than to die for.. Just let the pain remind you of how good life can be. Without the bad, there is nothing good on life. If only good things happened, then Life would be bland and boring and then, life would have no meaning to it. Tell her, "You have not even begun to live, so why end it now when it has not even begun. The bad is now, but happiness is soon to follow."

Hey i seen this and it turns out its two days old and if shes still having those thoughts find out why and when you do tell her "life is to short for so much sarrow dont let the words of others bring you down, let go of the pain and the thoughts that shouldn't be though, forgive and forget is easy but now you must except this for not all this is true but what is true is the person standing infront of you"

>>22
I don't wish to disagree with you, Setton-san, but do you feel like that is a bit of a risky statement? (Along with many others on this thread'.
Saying things like 'things will get better', 'happiness is soon to follow'.
Could these be false promises?
I don't know. I always struggle with this, and as a result I don't say a lot of positive things for fear of turning out to be wrong.

>>24 In this thread i will agree with you saika. This reminds me of a thread someone made a while back that is very relevent to this topic. I will dig around in the archives to see if i can find it then i will either post a link, or just copy the post to here depending on how long it is. If i remember correctly, it spent most of its focus saying how to suicidal people view life and the world as a constant pain. By saying "you have a whole life ahead of you", you simply give them more reason because they feel the rest of their life will be painful. And to say "life gets better" and not show the person that only makes you look like a lier. Bottom line is, words arent enough. I'll find that post and post back here soon.

I agree xenon but wouldnt you want to here something good when your feeling down im just saying as a matter of opinnion and for me what i said was both something good and something they need to learn to do in exchange to make things easy and without making them wanna kill themselves if you see it in the right way

It took some digging but i found it! http://dollars-bbs.org/personal/res/1362453852.html

"Today, my abnormal psych teacher said that, 'The worst thing to tell a suicidal person is, "But there’s so much to live for." To them, life equals pain, and telling that, "there’s still more to live for," is essentially saying, "but there’s still so much pain you haven’t experience yet."' This is something that everyone should know about the mindset of suicidal individuals."

There are few comments and it was shut down because of the lack of a legitimate question but this quote fits this thread perfectly.

>>26 as for your concern. If the person is serious about suicide, all they want is to deal with or get rid of the pain and have probably been told so many times that it gets better and it hasnt. It is alot like simple pain meds. If you take the same meds for ever cut, scratch and headache, your body becomes used to it and its effects become dull and possibly useless. As for dealing with suicidal people, words are like that simple pain med. They become dull and useless which is why you have to show them it gets better. Talk them out of suicide with words amd then start curing it with actions. If the person is lonely, become thier friend. If the person is feeling rejected, invite them into your group of friends. So on so on. All i'm trying to say is most words are useless without actions behind them.

>>26 if i confused you in any way, just tell me what's confusing and i will try to clarify. I'm not the best at communicating ideas at 5am.

>>27
Thanks Xenon. You hit the nail on the head. I was going to add something, but I feel like you've said all that I was trying to say.
So instead of saying anything, here's a link from the blog of someone who was depressed.
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

>>26
I think there is a point where you can't understand what 'good' is and can't feel it anymore. So no, they don't want something 'good' and they are way past merely feeling 'down'. It's not something you can just 'teach' them. They probably know it already. Like how blind people know that we can see.

>>24 I know.. But once you have hit the bottom, the only place to go is up.. I have been stuck at the bottom most of the time and have dwelled on many things about my past. The only thing keeping me alive is really a personal matter. I have hit the bottom so many times that it does not really hurt any more. But I would always find a way out even if it took me YEARS!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqRKoq-dW8c

heres a link to a video i watched awhile i dont know if itll really help your friend but here it is hope itll help some

Well it depends on what person she is and what happened that made her even think about doing suicide

Actually a friend of mine was tempted to commit suicide,he surprisingly told me he wanted to die (in a disheartening way) unfortunately for him his friend (which is me)sucks at talking about this things I just told him what I felt saying without even thinking about it,fortunately it turned out well he didn't commit suicide and I still have him at my side happy and awesome. But really if you're really her friend talk it out

nothing is better than having a good friend to talk to.

well I hope you the best.

>>9 I am sick and tired of people saying that it isnt there fault they are gay and that god made them gay, god would not create something that breaks his own laws, purposefully. He created his laws for a reason and wants everyone to be in heavon and if you are gay then you will not be in heavon so why would god create someone just so they can burn in hell?

>>33
IT'S SPELLED HEAVEN! What an idiot

^
FAGGOUT!

>>33 I would rather go to hell IF god did exist. I would rather be around people like me than people who can't get it through their head to at least live there life by the saying 'Love the sinner, hate the sin'. Oh yeah, I forgot you're to stupid to know what that means. It means the gay person can still be your friend but just hate the gayness and not act how you do at the moment. Which by the was is why I am an atheist because of people like you C:. I hope you see that you don't have to HATE on a person just because of what they believe.


can't wait to see his reaction now.

>>1 What I think you need to do is show them that people truly care about them. That if they go people will miss them and cry over their death. So them that they are not alone in this world. I used to think I was alone, still do but not as much, and that no one cared about me. I almost went into my dad's pills to find a way to end my life painlessly but I couldn't do it when I remembered I had family that would truly miss me if I wasn't there anymore and that I would ruin their lives with grief.

Must we turn everything into a religious war?

>>36 Not to mention, you know what they say. You go to heaven for the climate, hell for the company.

>>35 GHF, you should be ashamed of yourself. Is your time really so worthless that you need to flame little known internet threads about suicide advice? I pity you dude.

>>1 The internet seems to say that the best way is to listen to them patiently and non-judgementally. You could also point out that they mean a lot to you, as sometimes it's a form of feeling isolated and unwanted, and even if not, it may still provide a short term reason why she shouldn't do it. I don't know if this advice will work, but the sources looked legit, and I suspect that this stuff has helped at least one friend in the past, but I offer my advice warranty free. I hope you succeed at stopping her.

>>37 Ah Xenon-san. I second your incredulous question. (How did this even start)

>>36 first of all dumbass you won't find anywhere in the bible that say " Love the sinner, hate the sin" that's not what god sead. god sead he hates the sinner because if his sin! BEING A FAG IS A SIN! and i will NEVER be "friends" with such filth becouse fags are below me.

There's no doubt that suicide is a terrible tragedy. For a Christian it is an even greater tragedy because it is a waste of a life that God intended to use in a glorious way.It would be difficult to argue that suicide is not a sin, for it is the taking of a human life, or to put it bluntly, murder. The Bible clearly expresses the sanctity of human life (Exodus 20:13). God is the author of life, thus, the giving and taking of life ought to remain in his hands (Job 1:21).In Deuteronomy 30:9-20, you can hear the heart of God crying out for his people to choose life:"Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live! You can make this choice by loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and committing yourself firmly to him. This is the key to your life..." 

>>41 Never said that it was in the bible. I don't really know the bible at all so whatever you say MUST be true. also said* because* also I don't care if it is a sin. I don't believe in god because of my own reasons. Some people seek god's help during a rough time like the loss of family members but I looked for help within myself because god in my mind can't effect us. Also I believe somewhere it said that God doesn't truly HATE anyone. Well bye now because i'm going to ignore you before I write you a book about what I think.

>>43 Fullmetalpip, you're probably an awesome and caring person, but it's impossible to reason with idiots like GHF. Personally, I think he's probably some loser in his basement with the maturity of a 5 year old. You're probably better off tuning him out if you can.


>>38 seems to be the last thread with real advice (here is the repost of the advice):

">>1 The internet seems to say that the best way is to listen to them patiently and non-judgementally. You could also point out that they mean a lot to you, as sometimes it's a form of feeling isolated and unwanted, and even if not, it may still provide a short term reason why she shouldn't do it. I don't know if this advice will work, but the sources looked legit, and I suspect that this stuff has helped at least one friend in the past, but I offer my advice warranty free. I hope you succeed at stopping her."

>>38 that's my favorite quote :)
>>1 well can we get more information like where their depression stems from because that's what determines how to solve the problem and also be very careful with your advice if they don't like what you say they might just close ip and that would make the problem worse

>>43 god douse not love everybody! "Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated," (Rom. 9:11 so you can't say that that God doesn't truly HATE anyone. god has the right to hate people just as he has the right to love people. and he also has an effect in our lives.

if she is still having problems, get a counselor. tell her/him that there are people here that love them and will miss them. try to reason with them.

>>49 that's really the good way to help. Make sure to have a card for a helpline too.