OK,so here's the story;
When I was still 11,my mother left home and went far away,in an island,because of her job...She really couldn't do otherwise.I stayed here,because in the island that my mum went,there was nothing;no big hospitals,only one school that combined both highschool and elementary school and only 5000 residents...As days went by,my dad and I stopped talking about anything and I got really distant from him and lonely...The first two years passed by easily but the other two were HELL.I missed my mother very much and,since my father and I don't have a really good relationship,I started feeling all alone and got depression.I don't cut,however and I never will.So,you can guess that everything about me looks pretty damn normal on first sight.I've also learned to cover up my emotions,so that I won't be a burden on my mommy(she HATES that island...She's got no people she can trust there,no family and the island is full of snakes,spiders etc. Not to mention that it's totally isolated.It's normal for her to be really fragile right now...)I really love her and I believe she's the only person who truly loves me on this planet.Anyway,my first suicide attempt happened when I realized that my father had started going out with a woman named Joane.She always texted him and talked really sweetly to him.At first,I thought they were just friends.But if they are friends,then why would she call him 'love' 'sweety' 'honey' etc. All the time?Today,I also realized they went for a swim,too,the previous Saturday!!I can't stand that situation....But I don't want to tell my mom either...She'll get sad if she finds out,because she might look like a strong person but she's really fragile deep inside...I'm afraid that if she finds out,she'll kill herself and I'll lose her,too...However,those thoughts keep crossing my mind;
What if she's got someone she goes out with too?When she came home for christmas,I saw a message from a guy on her phone that said 'My beauty,did you arrive yet?How was your trip?' My mum said that was just a friend,but I can't believe her that easily...My dad says this 'Joane' is not in a relationship with him and that it's all in my head,but it's obvious that he's lying.First of all,he either comes home late or is never home on Sundays and then there are those messages!!!I really don't know what to do anymore...What do you guys think??I'm trying to be strong,but it's not working anymore,since I break down really easily now...