I know that someone here has a lot bigger problems than mine. But I don't know who to talk to. Well, If someone's interested, then continue reading. These are the words I wanted to say to my sister. But I couldn't. She's not a member here.

Those words were really painful to hear. And I'd be lying if I say that I finally got used to them, because, in reality, I haven't and may never will. I was not born the way other people expected me to. Bit by bit, I slowly lost my confidence. Well, not like I really have that much in me anyway. Sometimes, I think it would have been better if we weren't siblings. Please don't get me wrong, I really really love my sister. But you see, I feel quite ashamed whenever she introduces me to someone because the way they look at me is kinda like "really? you're siblings? which part? are you sure she's not adopted or something?".



The only people who accepted me are my cousins and aunts from my mother's side. It's not like I'm speaking ill of my other relatives, its just that that's how I see them. My aunt and cousins from my mother's side would often tell me how much I resemble my mother. Lies, aren't they? But even if they were, it makes me happy.



Sis, when I said I feel ashamed, it's because you're way too pretty. Everyone will talk to you. People would offer you things because you're pretty. Other pretty girls would call you twin or anything along those lines. As of now, I'm not your only sibling, right? You have lots of pretty twins who look like you more than I do. I'm sorry I wasn't born as pretty as you. If I was, that would have been less trouble for you.



Don't tell me that I should stood for my self. If I did, I'll sound rude to them. I really want to give those people some lectures about genes, but what's the use? The way they looked at me will never change and it will forever be carved in my memory.



Confidence, sexiness, charisma, white skin, courage, I don't have any of those anymore. They're gone. I couldn't find them anymore. Sis, you're always lying to me every time you told me I'm cute. I'm not. And will never be.



The things I have now are negative emotions that are pushed from the back of my mind. I tried my best, always, to cover them with positive ones. But there are times its hard to contain them. Whenever that happens, I sleep. That's why sis and father often find me sleeping. It's because it feels nice. I forget everything for a while.



"I love my self" are words I often say to my self even though I know they are all lies. I wanted someone to look at me differently. These are the words I wanted to scream to the whole world but I know it's useless. After all, I'm just a nobody.

Hey, these words made me have some major feels. If you'd like, please consider my help. You're letting your looks deceive your true beauty on the inside. And those negative feelings grow stronger when these people your sister introduces you too look at you weird. But your problem can be resolved simpler then what you think: you just should smile at them, and say you're proud to be her sister. I'm not saying become popular or different then your self because you may have a beautiful sister, but just be proud she's YOUR real sister, not some FAKE TWIN to you.

I agree, with everything these days, people including myself have demolished the true value of inner beauty. I direct anger to myself everyday about it, but I was born differently so I think I can handle any sort of mental brakedowns and negative awarenesses.

Don't say "I love myself." If you don't mean it, don't say it. Because no matter what you do, you truly do love yourself and those around you, but when you say it literally to yourself, you think it's lies. And no, you're not useless. No one living on this damn Earth is "useless." We all live and breath for a reason, even if it were to just do something small. Do not let destiny and the way you look decide your fate, destiny is shit. You just need to realize all these feelings inside you are false, because right now your inner beauty is being eaten away. You're not lying when you say you love yourself, your lying to yourself when you think your useless.

Hope this helps, have a nice life. And as always; The World isn't as bad as you think. Good luck! :)

-Dstar89

thank you. I feel a lot better now. And thank you again, for reminding me that "this world isn't as bad as I think". Your words helped me a lot.
This reply includes a thank-you-hug, I hope you'll accept it ^_^

thank you. I feel a lot better now. And thank you again, for reminding me that "this world isn't as bad as I think". Your words helped me a lot.
This reply includes a thank-you-hug, I hope you'll accept it ^_^

You're very welcome :)