It's almost that time of year where people begin wearing shorts and sleeveless shirts. Boy, I wish I could do that too.
Allow me to explain, I am a victim of self-mutilation. Don't worry, I'm not one of those attention seekers or someone that just says "I'm cutting you have to care". No, I just want to share a little story.
My mother has made health issues. I actually inherited my depression and anxiety from her. Throughout the years I've learned to hide most of my symptoms.
Well, just recently the doctor gave her the news that she has another little thing to add to her list of health issues. I'm not sure what the name was but my alcoholic father apparently gave her an STD. They say there's no cure for it and it comes with a lot of pain. I've seen her struggling. The disease only affects the woman internally so my father doesn't feel anything.
They think I don't know... but I over heard the conversation they had with my older sisters. They think I'm too young to understand I guess.
Well, being that the disease is deadly and all my mother can do is take pain killers until she dies; I've decided to try much harder to control my self mutilation. That and my depression.
We're kind of poor and because of my mother's health history no one knows about my anxiety or depression. My family, they think nothing of the symptoms I have but my mother has had her suspicions. My little to no eating habits, my anti-social behavior,and a bunch of other things.
Well, I plan on giving her no more worries for the little she has left to live. So that's my motivation to stop trying to kill myself and to try harder to stay away from harming myself.
Thank you for reading this little lame story of mine.

...wow. Inspiring much?

Thank you for not being one of those self-pitying people who are looking for sympathy. Thank you for being someone who will deal with what you're going through so that your mom won't worry. Thank you for not ending or wasting your life. Thank you for living.

And now I sound cheesy. ^^ But anyway, thank you for sharing. Again, I personally think you are an inspiring person.

Your scars aren't signs of shame, but signs that you have fought through a rough patch and won. I know. my legs.look bad too, bud. I'm 19 now and life does get better and you can still enjoy shorts. I promise.

Wow, thank you both. To be honest I wasn't expecting anyone to really read that.
And well, I'm doing this for her. I mean, she's given me everything. Not material wise but motherly wise. So why not make her go out easy? I'm hoping she stays longer than what they are expecting.
As for the scars. I'm pretty much letting the heal. The ones on my legs I can pass on as accidents. That's a good thing ^^