My new year's resolution is to not regret anything.

But there are two huge life decisions awaiting me by the end of January.

I've been trying to join the Navy since October of last year, but when I finally went through processing I got disqualified for something physical and now I need a medical waiver, something I can only achieve by the end of January. After I turn it in, I'm sworn into the service. The average wait is 6 months, I asked for a shorter period before deployment but nothing is guaranteed until I turn in the waiver.

Pros of this decision are I'll finally have a job, college tuition is paid for by government grant, I'll have a more disciplined life style, and if I get the job rate that I want, I'll be multi-lingual within a year or two while stationed in California.


My other choice is to go to Beijing, China. Been there before, know the language enough, I have a grasp on public transportation, I enjoy Chinese culture, got friends and family over there, mother said that she was going to pay for my college tuition fees. I can have an internship at her work place (but its not a paid one), and it'll be at an elementary school and I love children to death and missed being a teacher when I was living in Chengdu, China half a year ago. Drinking age is 18 instead of 21. And lastly, I can finally have my own pet dog.
Everything is cheaper over there compared to here as well. After living there for a year or two, I still plan on entering the Navy.

So the issue is, if I go to China, i'd be sponging off my mom till I found a job, but if I stay here and wait out my delayed entry, i'd be sponging off my brother until I've found a job.

Life would be easier in China, more fun, and I can see my family before my four year service, where I will possibly never see them until the end of my contract.

But if I chose this, would I be taking the easy way out? I want to become more independent.. wouldn't I just become more dependent by being near the parent net?
My love for teaching children and general happiness is in China. But I will never enjoy myself if I have to keep asking my mother for money. But on the other side, will I be able to find a job within the 6 months of waiting for deployment? Will I survive boot camp?

...Joining the navy is my end game goal, but would it hurt to play and have my last bits of fun first? Or would that do more harm than good?

It might seem easier to go to China because it'll be a good time. Easier isn't a bad thing. You shouldn't feel guilt/unaccomplished because you had fun first. You have one life! Enjoy yourself! You'll regret not chasing your dreams and having fun in your youth when you are older. Etc.

Hmmm... If it was me i'd go to China but as previously mentioned it's the easier route. Then again, all the funner things are in favour of China. Pick whichever one you are more drawn to and I hope you enjoy whichever one you pick :)

[the grass is always greener on the otherside of the fence]

HO HO! Your in luck because I just so happen to be in the Navy! Also if you do join the Navy be a Gunners Mate, you will not regret it!
You asked if you will survive boot camp well I will tell you this. I started in a division of 87 ended in a division of 54. Most the drop outs were because they could not adapt to military life, failed the swim (which is easy as fuck if you know how to swim your good to go), and the PRT (Physical Requirement Test). In boot camp you will do endless push-ups and sit-ups so you'll be good on that by the time you take it. Since your a young guy you will be expected to finish the run within 11 minutes 30 seconds for 1.5 miles (might have changed so check) which kills a lot of people. So run everyday dude because it will help a lot in boot camp and it will build your stamina. Boot camp is fucking exhausting so build you stamina (I fell asleep while marching one time XD). The guys there will make you feel like your a worthless piece of shit and you will have no freedom for 8 weeks. But that's the point, to break you down and build you back up as a sailor. The trick to passing boot camp is to shut up and to what your told that's it; every minute of your life will be dictated by your instructor so you don't even have to think for your self really just do what your told.

This opportunity for you to go to China sounds like a great deal. If you where to go that direction then you would be starting your life now rather than waiting to get out of the military then starting it. But I suppose that going the Navy way will make you more independent in the long run. Don't put your life on hold if you don't want to. Sometimes it's better to not join the military; because it's truly not for everyone.
I joined because I wanted a challenge in life and to do thing I can look back on and be proud of. Maybe you want the same but this is a big life decision your making so think carefully about it. The bst thing to do is do what will make you the most happy and the way you told about how you love working with the children it sounds like to me that you've subconsciously already made your decision.

Everyone's said that I should go.. but my gut is telling me not to. I'm just scared that I'll take advantage of my mother's safety net. And that's not right.
I love children so much.. and I'm so scared that the military will change that. Or that they'll be scared of me cuz the military will change me...
I guess I'll just have to wait till I have children of my own. =( but that's gonna be soooo long from now! =(

Also peoples, I'm not a guy. Girls can enlist to ya know...

I don't know why so many people think I'm a guy despite naming myself after a flower...

>>7 Well that's a good choice then I suppose, just follow your heart since that's what anyone of use can only do most of the time. You think the military might change you but it wont. Sometimes inorder to adapt to a place you must change and loose yourself to get by; sometimes you may even have to become a beast (if you get my drift). But once it is all over just leave with your head held high, have no regrets, and leave the beast behind where it started.
In my experience in the Navy I have seen many females be shunned by their co workers. Guys complain that females don't pull their weight and don't bother teaching you the ropes to even begin your job. It's though being a female in the Navy; most of the time I see is usually from the cooks and the engineering guys on the boat that shun the females. In my department we have Gunners Mates (GM's) and Firecontrol Man (FC's) and I don't think I have ever seen females treated differently. My suggestion of rates to pick are those within the Weapons department which is Gunners Mates, Firecontrol Men, and Sonar Technicians (STG's). You should look into those; but if you have any questions about jobs in the Navy or the Navy in general ask me and I will try to answer to the best of my ability. Your recruiter will more than likely lie to you so don't rely on him/her much. Hope you make it and good luck!

>>8 Thank you so much. My recruiters a pretty nice guy, I'm sure, but having someone else is good. I'm goint to be CTI. Cryptology tech interpretive. I just translate stuff for people. I really wanna learn different languages. I want to help people to. My recruiter said that the navy mostly helps others. Like earthquakes and tsunami.

>>9 i can kinda relate to you in a way and yeah i know its a tough decision. i recently had to choose if i wanted to go to college and work part time but have to take out student loans to pay for college or join the military (army in my case) and just take classes on the side but they are paid for in full. in the end i decided to go army as a nodal networking systems operator (IT person and part of the signal core) but thats just me. to some people 1 choice may sound better than the other but in reality it is what you make of it. it is your life and you have to live with it so make sure you choose what YOU want to do. its good to keep others opinion in mind and reflect on it but dont just change who you are/ what you want to do just because someone told you otherwise. both of the options you supplied sound like a solid way to live life but throughout life things will change and you will have to make more decisions then. so even if you choose 1 over the other its not like it will be your way of life for the rest of your life (unless you choose for it to be). i say follow with your own sense of judgement and you should be just fine.

>>9 Basic is mothafuckin terrible. You've been warned.

My opinion? Go to motherfucking China while you still have the chance.

Lol! Everyone so far is telling me to go to China...
I just dont know... My Mom, I keep telling her that I'm sticking to this. And she keeps saying how proud she is of me. And that's all I ever want, is just to make her proud. I know I could just join the Navy later, or maybe be happy with my life abroad and never join at all.. But I dont think I can make her say she's proud of me by doing that.

But... Lately a lot has happened to her, and we're so far away and it's hard to comfort someone through an electronic message...

We're eachother's best friends and though sometimes we hurt each other really bad, because know exactly where to push the dagger in, we always forgive and forget and support each other through hard times. I'm an expert at making her feel better, and I can tell in her messages that she's slowly been getting more and more miserable... It doesnt help that we both have clinical depression, and I think she's a bt bipolar. But sometimes she's depressed and wont talk to me or gets angry at me randomly or sometimes I'm depressed and antisocial, and we both understand eachother yet at the same time are annoyed but pity each other because we know how it is and how hard it is.
Being in the same city may help this, but at the same time, can make it unimaginably worse. I remember a huge fight we had once and she slept somewhere else and didnt talk to me for a week. Later on she explained that it wasnt my fault, she just ran out of medicine.
See? I think it's best that we're apartand go our separate ways but see each other later, even though my happiness is over where she is.

Bumpin for more opinions. I still got two weeks till I make my final (and long term) decision.

Of you go to Beijing, be ready tpo be a couch potato. Polution is maxed out there so no one can leave the building without something like a hazmat suit.

>>16 You've probably never been to BJ... That's actually not true. Pollution can be real bad at days where the US Embassy may tell you to stay inside, but it's not like that EVERYDAY. Maybe four days a year. And it's mostly bad in the morning. Evening and night it's a lot lighter..

>>17 Getting close to that day hu? So your going to be a CTI, doesn't sound bad in relations to your later civilian life. I can't help much with that rate since on my ship I don't think there are any, or their might be one but I never see them. Anyway I hope you get that job, as for basic just run a lot; and grow tough skin because they will brake you down.

>>18 I was concerned about that.. people of my rate aren't usually on ships, are they? :( (bangs head against wall) dammit I don't want a desk job!!