I have this friend, shes a great person, but has severe family problems, and has come to me for support. problem is, im not really sure how to help.

See, her parents have been emotionally and physically abusing her since she was quite young, and shes sunk into a life of depression, booze, drugs, and stuff among juggalos. scary thing is, shes only thirteen. she constantly texts me when shes sad or intoxicated, so i get the full brunt of her despair.

i have offered to call outside help for her, but every time ive actually gotten serious and tried to contact child intervention services, she begs me not to, terrified of punishment and retribution from her parents, so i havent.

ive tried to get her to stop using drugs and booze as a distraction, but she simply refuses, insisting that its the only thing that can take the edge off. shes even tried to get me to start doing drugs, granted its nothing hard, but pot isnt really the best thing for a maturing teenager.

I know shes probably using me as the proverbial pillow we scream in when we're upset, but im genuinely worried for her well being.

I really dont know what to do, any suggestions are more than welcome.

yours truly,

Flamemaster1

I think it would be best for your friend if you called the Child Protective Services. She can get the help she needs. The most important thing you can do is to listen without judging, respect her decisions, and help her to find ways to become stronger and safer. This might help to

http://www.dvrcv.org.au/help-advice/

Hearing about parents mistreating their children makes me angrier than anyone could possibly get. Almost, as if I turn into an orange headed rage monster in a purple suit with a blue tie and white gloves~

She refuses help? That reminds me of . . . someone I know.

I don't really know if going to child intervention/protective services are the best thing to do. I'm not saying you aren't making the right choice by brining it up with her, but I'm not saying you are, either.

I guess some people (like me) might be ignorant to something that might occur if a certain action is taken.

Have you ever asked her why her parents do the things they do to her?

And I agree with you. Doing drugs at 13 isn't the best way to start you life. No matter what anyone says. Study shows it.

I think the reason why she doesn't want any outside help, is that she plans on moving out the second she can, and doesn't want to risk anything while she still sleeps in the same house as them. I also think she is using you (not in a bad way) to relieve some of her stress and rant to take the edge off. Yes, drugs and alcohol can do the same, but its even better when the "bottle" can respond and actually listen.

I wish you the best and hope you can find a solution to this predicament you're in.

Extraordinary as always,

Mr-Zorli.

Thanks guys, it really helps having some outside opinions on the matter.

First off the if it is just physical abuse her parents might not act so kindly to the contacting of child protection services. In my case it is 3 strikes for my dad and he goes to jail, and he only used up 2. Point is it could aggrevate her parents into beating her more and it could only come off as a court date. On the other hand it could make her parents realize what they are doing and let off. Also she needs to have physical signs of beatings to make a case like bruises, cuts, scrapes, etc. Otherwise the child protection services can't do jack.

Thing is I sunk into a bad depression after a full day, and night, of beating in 6th grade, but at least I didn't do drugs. I was always depressed, but after that I started to contemplate suicide a lot more. I also hung out with the messed up people in middle school, but I found it easier to relate to them than others. Sad thing is they helped out a lot more than anyone else. They understood how it is to have a messed up childhood, and mine wasn't the worst out of the group. But I did latch out to some people and probably scared them away. She is most likely latching out to you to try and make the pain eaier to bear. It is your choice whether to stay involved, or not.

A lot of teens are going through tough times like she is but she needs help. Her parents wont help her and she is afraid of them which is sad so its up to other people around her to help with this situation. There is a phone service which allow people to talk to someone so that they can get some emotional support.

Support her with anything you can think of. Your parents or any adult you can trust might be able to help too. There also may be groups in the area that help with this sort of thing.

I really do hope this helps. ~Miko-chan

>>6 unfortunately, she absolutely despises adults and doesn't trust them. im trying to respect her wishes of not contacting an adult with her problems, but she really needs help.

>>7 sometimes you have to betray a friend knowing it's the best for them. If you can prove she is being abused, call child protective services. You should also get her to go into rehab for the drugs and alcohol. If this means betraying her, it's going to be worth it in the end. She may hate you for it but if she's really your friend, you shouldn't mind some harsh feelings if it's really going to help her. You could also attempt to do this anonymously. That way she wouldn't know it's you and you could help her threw it without her completely hating you. It may mean telling her a few lies but again, a lie here and there for the well being of a friend is better than the cold heard truth that they may not be able to handle.

>>7 Maybe you can find teens in the area to help you with this problem.

I agree with >>8, on some occasions it really is best to betray someone for their best interest, especially in this scenario. If you're really hellbent on not contacting any adults, then I would suggest that you try and find elsewhere for her to stay for a week or two, maybe REALLY talk to her about the situation without sugarcoating a situation.

Regardless of your action, she needs to get out of there.