Allow me to start from the beginning. I have been very lonely my whole life and have been practically desperate to find a girlfriend. I finally get one who is really into me but for some strange reason I want her to leave me. She isn't bad and we get along great but I keep saying things to her. I pretend like a have a split personality and use that as an excuse to be cruel to her. I'm not physical but I say horrible things to her and try to make her leave me. I ignore her alot but she still stays true to me and has even left other guys for me. The relationship is even long distance as in she lives on the west coast and I on the east. We met during a convention and kinda hooked up on the final days. We barely spent any time together physically but we text frequently. I don't want to be alone but at the same time, I want her to go. Why am I doing this?

Sounds like you my be pushing her away due to the fact that it's not a scenario that in which you are accustom to. Considering that you haven't had to many relationships. You might be finding it hard to embrace her due to the physical distance as well. I can't really give you your answer though, only assumptions. The reason you are pushing her away is something only you can figure out as a fellow dollar i would like to help you out but you need to spend some time questioning your reason for being with her. Also speaking out of experience if a girl will go out of their way to be with regardless of what you do it's actually a great trait(unless it the kind in miria nikki of course lol) hopefully any of this will help.

Side note I should have went over my statement I see way to many errors in my typing lol

No one can be absolutely sure why you're doing this except yourself. It seems as if you don't feel the same way she does, but you don't want to hurt her feelings. I have been in similar situations myself. I am also very lonely. I understand why you wanted a girlfriend. Sometimes the feeling of loneliness can cause you to make decisions you don't really think about. My advise, ask yourself what you really want from a girl friend, and if she isn't really giving it to you just end the relationship, explain everything, and say you still want to be friends if that's okay with her.

Thank you for your advice. I reflected on what you both said and I think I'll end it. This whole thing is getting ridiculous and I'm hurting us both by prolonging it. I don't really feel anything for her and what I thought I did was really just guilt. Thanks again because now I feel like a huge load was just lifted off my shoulders.

You're welcome taito. I hope i helped. Well, i hope the best of luck to you in the new year.

i have a friend who; like you was kinda lonely and wanted a gf. a girl finally showed and interest and he wasn't interested. thing is he is always besotted with a particular girl and puts them on a pedestal. in his mind no real girls can compete but even the girls he does like are not perfect he just ignores there faults. i guess what im trying to say is. is it possible your rejecting her because you have a been alone for a while and conjured an impossible standard for real girls to live upto ? just a thought from a fellow dollar. hope it helps

I wondered about that but I've recently found out she's isn't who I thought she was. In truth, I think I really just need a friend. Someone to share good memories with.

I want a gf, but most girls I know have alot of bagage or mental problems or just plain crazy. I want a girl that is not real cotrolling, doesn't get insanely jelouse, will give me a positive push to do something, and puts up with me. If I found a girl like this my hope would be restored

Your situation sounds a lot like mine, and I think I have an idea of why. Since I seem to always act differently, I can't even say that I know myself enough to know if this is the truth, but it's worth a shot. I think that you, and I, both have gotten so used to being alone, that we subconsciously think that we don't need anyone.We bring ourselves to believe that it won't work out well anyways because we've been alone for so long.

How you can fix this? Personally, I'm trying to dig myself out of this bullshit. Something that I think you should try, and I'm going to eventually for myself to try, is find someone, maybe her, that you can open up to. Tell them something personal or something that happened to you in your past. Trust them. I'm hoping that, maybe, the support you get from it will show you that you can be alone, but being with someone makes things so much easier.

sappy shit is sappy

I was going to go into a "life story" mode, as I've almost gone into many times, but I just wasn't feeling it. I took it off. I hope you can understand all of this without the first 2/3 that I removed. Sorry about crappy wording. I can't word for shit.

Do you think it's cool not to smile?
If you go through life like that though, you wouldn’t notice.
You can’t be close to being a Minus like that.
Even if things don’t go the way you want them to.
Even if you lose.
Even if you don’t win.
Even if you look like an idiot.
Even if you’re walked on.
Even if you’re kicked.
Even if you’re sad.
Even if you’re bitter.
Even if you’re tired of it all.
Even if it hurts.
Even if it’s hard.
Even if you’re weak.
Even if you aren’t right.
Even if you’re humble.
Through all of that,
we Minus always laugh

Kinda funny how even though my problem has been fixed people are still commenting on it. I'm not saying stop replying but it's kinda cool how there are more people that have had some of my experiences as specific they can be.