I want some advice. I want to mend my relationship with my mom and dad but I don't know how. My mom and dad left me with my grandparents when I was only a few months old because my mom was young and my dad was stationed overseas in the military. By the time my dad came home, I was two and had already built a parent-child relationship with my grandparents so they decided to leave me with them (I was later adopted by my grandparents). When I was 10 my grandfather died. This was very stressful for me. I was very close to my grandfather and the way he died was very slow and very painful. He had lost most of his memory of me and my family lost the ability to use his legs, and eventually fell into a depression. While I was watching this unfold before my eyes, my mom and dad decided to move 1/2 way across the country. I was extremely angry at my parents for taking all of my siblings and moving away leaving me feeling empty and abandoned in what is today the worst part of my life. We didn't talk for about 2 years. Finally I started to talk to them and see them during breaks in school, but this was mainly to see my brothers and sisters. Eventually, I saw my mom and dad’s side of the story and saw that what they did was only to make my life better. This fact almost forced me to forgive them out of guilt and empathy. Even though I've forgiven them, I feel like they're always trying to make up for what they've done even though I tell them they don't have to. How do I get the point across that all I want is to be more like a family and less like someone they owe something to?

WTF??? So wait... you had siblings... So you're telling me that when your parents had children... they didn't think to bring you back into the family???? Fuck Them. Explain why they felt the need that leaving you alone their with your dying grandfather/Dad was better than giving you the love and support a child needs.
I'm sorry, but my mother instincts are going ape-shit right now, and I at least need to know what their damn excuse was...

I don't have any knowledge on it to help you, but your story is
Quite unique and sad. I wish you reconcile with them, but I hardly believe you will see them as family if you don't go live with them for a while. Family is
Important. And your grandmother? I believe you should stay close to her
For she must feel really lonely know. If you can all move togethet(Mexican style :) ) I'm sure much tension of family ties will reduce, an perhaps more family issues might arise. No incest though okey? XD

>>3 That last sentence.... was totally uncalled for. It's as if you're suggesting that incest is common between Mexican families. wtf?

It seems to you that i suggested that.
It seems to me that your going through a man's period, cause i assume only a guy would level up to butt-holery that you just reached.
I always try to be funny my friend, i seemed so serious and perhaps it made Anonymous smile or something.
Come on, don't be all cop on me for my illegal posting aggresive joking.
But to explain myself, and answer you dear human, i did not meant to say that incest is common between families, but that it is common when 2 separate families come together. Its called Genetic Sexual Attraction, and seems to happen often.
So you sir, just being prosecuted for "ignorancia". Are you paying for your "fianca" or will you give me some money "abajo del agua" (mexican police corruption joke).
Smile guys, im sorry if i am inaproppiate, but i would be even sorrier if i can cheer someone up and i do not.

Apparently the top part of the message did not appear, this is what is missing...
*It seems to you that i suggested that incest is common between mexican families.*

I just read what i post and have a freaking horrible grammar, ignore that. It is only important that you get, you all get what i try to say. Cheers.
Also, Existence is me, and Loose is me too. Just saying.

I knew you weren't. THat's why I said, "IT'S AS IF"...

I just felt it was uncalled for due to anon's circumstances, but thank you for trying to make him smile anyway, and I appreciate that you actually gave him advice, unlike myself. I'm having family issues too, and I do not understand the importance of keeping in touch because my grudge won't let me, and my advice to give his folks the bird might not have been appropriate either.

>>2 "you had siblings..." yes I do. I am the oldest out of 7 children which is why moving in all together is impossible. "They didn't think to bring you back into the family?" they did. I was 2 by the time my parents had another kid and I had already grown attached to my grandparents so they didn't feel right taking me from them. "Explain why they felt the need that leaving you alone there with your dying grandfather/Dad was better than giving you the love and support a child needs." My mom was depressed. She attempted suicide once. She couldn't take the stress so she left without really thinking about the consequences. By this time my grandparents had already adopted me, I was about 10(I had grown up with my grandparents and thought of them as my parents) and my mom and dad had 5 kids to take care of so they really couldn't take me with them. They want to move back but don't have the money to move 1/2 way across the country again.

>>9 Still angry... >_>

My folks and myself fight depression too and my mother was also pregnant out of wed lock and before she was ready and also made an attempt when I was a baby.
Sigh... I'm guessing moving in with them like Loose suggested isn't an option either? I suppose then only time will tell.
If you've already said in the most sincerest of ways, that you do not holg any grudge against them, then it is not from you theat they need salvation from. It sounds like they have their own demons and until they forgive themselves I suppose there is nothing left for you to do than wait it out or suggest for them to get therapy. I would prefer all of you together, but I don't see how that's possible...
Another thought is how you keep visiting your siblings. It's sort of a reminder of what they had given them, but not you. I'm not saying that's your fault... It's just a thought.

>>10 Moving in with them is out of the picture. I have told them that I don't hold a grudge. I doubt they'll find it a big enough problem to go to therapy for(unless my mom gets depressed again). I'm not going to stop visiting my siblings during breaks from school if that's what you're thinking. It brings back my parents guilt but I feel that the only way they'll face it is if I visit and slowly work my way back into their life as much as possible. That and I want to be a part of my siblings lives as much as possible.

oh no, i would never tell you to stop seeing them. I just wanted to know if you realized that.

Well, good luck!