>>2 I'll attempt a translation.
Ahem,
Salutations, to no one in particular or perhaps everyone in general. Did all of you people, collectively, experience difficulties completing the unmentioned school project in a small amount of time? Despite not indicating which project I am even talking about, I would like to know if it would be possible to complete it in a timely fashion, given that the due date is in three days or perhaps more? The inquiries which I present to you are absolutely farcical, as I make a squinting, smiling face.