Okay. Before we begin, let me explain something. I am straight. I am and forever will be such. I like guys. This thread has nothing to do with my sexuality, but everything about my curiosity on the subject.

I understand that there are five different sexualities. Someone can be gay, bi, straight, pansexual, and asexual. To show that I have done my research on the subject before coming here, Let me go into what I know about each one.

Gays/Lesbians like people of there own gender. Guys like guys and girls like girls.

Bisexuals like people of both genders. They don't care if they date a guy or a girl.

Straight people only like opposite genders. Girls like guys and guys like girls.

Asexual people aren't interested in anyone.

Pansexuals don't care about gender. They are gender blind.

Sexuality is the urge to have sex with someone. Therefore, you can have one view sexually and another view romantically. I've heard this before, and I know someone who has this.

There's also a scale based on how gay or straight you are. Very few people are actually 100% gay or straight.

This is the extent of my knowledge on the subject. I'm kind of confused though. Pansexuals don't look at gender. Therefore, if they're dating a guy that turns out to be trans, they are okay with that. How is this different than bisexuals?

Another question, If I loved a guy who came up to me and said he wanted a gender change, and I was okay with that, would that make me pansexual? Wouldn't a bisexual be okay with that too?

Another question. If there's a solid difference between sexuality and romantically, then it is possible for me to be asexual but straight romantically, correct?

Basically, there's a large grey area on these two subjects, and I want people to help explain this. I'm coming to you because finding people who know about this and are willing to speak of it without bias is extremely hard. I'm hoping one of you can help me with this.

1. Pretty sure a biexual would have to be ready and really close to the person they are dating in order to be okay, like I am with my lover (another guy, who is thinking of getting the sex change operation done once he has the money). Still, booth sides have to be 100% sure about it, because once it happens, you can't go back.

2. As I stated in 1. However, I don't know about you.

3. If you're not looking for sex but instead romance, then you could possibly do that. That's how it worked between me and one of my ex girlfriends. We just wanted to have someone to be in a relationship with is all. But a warning: sooner or later the person you're dating will be wondering when you'll pop the question: "Will you marry me?"

Honestly, I don;'t know a whole lot but this subject is a bit good for discussion.

Like you can be somewhat in between gay and straight, you can also be in beween sexual and asexual; people like that are described as grey-asexuals. Then there are the lables gynosexual(attracted to women) and androsexual(attracted to men); these can be used for transexuals and people who do not fall on the gender binary. There is also demisexual, feeling sexually attracted only after getting close emotionally to someone, so it is in the grey area.

The same prefixes for sexuality can be used for romantic/affectional orientation, and you can "mix and match" them with sexual orientations in whatever way is accurate to describe you.

Personally, I identify as agender (not identifying with any gender/s) and grey-asexual androsexual(I am biologically male though, so sometimes I just use homosexual to ease people in) and as aromantic, so I have a minute degree of sexual attraction to men and no romantic attraction to anyone at all, regardless of gender or sex.

Also, I've met someone who identified as heterosexual-homoromantic.

I'm straight, so I'm not much help.

I know someone that is pansexual though. From what I got from it was anything she considers attractive, be it a girl, boy, tree, a lizard, or even a damn lamp post.
On a side note, this girl was a disappointment.

I don't know much about other sexualities, sorry.

(0_0) GodHatesFaggs would have a field day if he saw this thread.

>>6 Yes he would...

Anyway, I'm asexual, but straight romantically. My friends say that if you're asexual then you can't have any form of romance...wrong. Sex and romance are two totally different things, since one deals with reproduction and external love while the latter deals with how much you love the person, not for looks, but for who they are.

The thought of romance and sex have become intertwined in most people, making them believe that you can't have one without the other....but from what's stated here, and what my thoughts are, that belief is definitely wrong.

Kinda hope this helps...^^;

I read some of the answers to this, but I'm just wondering.. How can someone not be romantically attracted to anything? Isn't that only because they haven't identified a type yet? Is it honestly possible to live an entire life without showing romantic interest to anyone, but only sexual interest?
Also, are homosexuals okay with dating someone who is of the opposite sex but had a sex change operation? My friends and I were wondering about this, and unfortunately I don't have any gay or lesbian friends to ask. I would just ask myself this but my religious views get in the way of a non-biased answer.

>>8

The question with the sex change operation works the same for straight and gay people. Most people are uncomfortable with the idea of a sex change so they might hesitate in dating a transsexual person, but others might not be bothered by it at all. I don't think the question can have a group answer, it depends on the individual.

>>9 Okay thanks. Just checking. :) Didn't know if it was just my religion that made me feel uncomfortable about it, or if it's just a natural reaction.

I'm bi but could never be with a transexual (m to f or f to m). I am also not attracted to hermaphrodites (which hasn't been addressed specifically unless I missed it). I think that draws a broad line between me and a pansexual. I don't know how to explain why I'm one and not the other. I guess I like peas and potatoes. I dont like peas or potatoes that turn into one another, or something with characteristics of both. I know someone who only likes androgynous looking people.

Straight male. Yup.

>>7 You know what you call romance without sex and sexual attention? Friendship with a girl.

Look, in a real relationship you have to play the field or else your ass gets put on the bench. Believe it or not women want sex and if you cannot give them sexual attention, that romance doesn't mean squat and is just as bad as a relationship based on just sex. For a successful relationship, you need both sex and romance.

Bisexual

I am heterosexual, but I am beginning to lean towards being Asexual. I find no point in it anymore.

>>16 same here. I'm not sure if it's just people I know, or everyone. They all seem like dumbasses. So, I give up.

>>16 These days, any-sexual other than asexual is "Why even bother?"

>>16 >>17 >>18
Try to limit your usage of the term. You wouldn't believe the number of people who try to appropriate the term to pretend it's an LGBT issue rather than just a preference.

I would argue that pansexual is the same thing as bisexual but people seem to be all uppity nowadays if you don't request someone's gender with a formal application signed in triplicate

I don't believe in these tedious subcategorizations of what is basically a personal preference. In the context of human rights and specific discrimination, sure, but in any other context it's the same reason I hate people who call themselves bronies upfront or tell people their religion without being asked.

It doesn't help that nowadays the more obscure sexualities have been reduced to tools used by attention seeking bloggers who want to distance themselves from normality by as many degrees as possible. People trying to front their lack of a preference for sex as a real social issue on par with homosexuality, or acting offended when someone assumes they are a boy or a girl based on their appearance (especially when they are biologically correct, but apparently wrong according to their personal identity)...

Of course, I may have just been on tumblr too long, and these types of people tend to congregate there if nowhere else.

tl;dr - In a perfect world, nobody would give a shit. Not the whateversexual, and not anybody they know.

OTB

>>19 Tumblr is a dangerous place. Do not dwell there for too long.

Going back to this topic of sexuality. I think it's hilarious that people are still trying to force people into catergories just because it's cognitvely easier for people to assign an individual into a prescribed group based on things like their sexual preference than it is to just see a person as an individual. Things like stereotypes can be very dangerous because they are often WRONG.

So, instead of trying to make groups to categorise people wiith, just assume that everyone is a unique thing. Which they are. Even monozygotic twins. They share the same dna, but they're still two different people :l

This is a really interesting thread, not gonna lie. Here's how it all works in my mind:

Heterosexual: GuysxGirls - We are all brought up to believe that this is the correct way of how things are supposed to work, and many people are prejudiced against the LGBT community because they're afraid of change.

Bisexuality: GuysxGirls, GuysxGuys or GirlsxGirls - They like people who are definitely one gender, they just don't care which gender. I'm teetering on the edge of bi and gay, simply because I find girls attractive but I just can't see myself with one, you know?

Homosexuality: GuyxGuy or GirlxGirl - Due to whatever biological or psychological reasoning (I don't know exactly what causes it, I just know it happens), a person is attracted to their own gender. But my footnote in itself provides an excellent point, because I subconsciously mentioned homosexuality's 'cause'. Why does there have to be a cause? Why is it so unnatural for two human beings to be attracted to each other, gender aside? It kind of makes me wonder why homosexuality is considered so wrong in the first place.

Pansexuality: Also known as dontgiveafuckality. It all depends on the person they fall in love with, biology aside. The main difference between Pansexuals and Bisexuals is that Pansexuals are comfortable being with a transexual. Probably the most open-minded people on Earth, and I really salute you because being as open-minded as I am, I just don't know if I could do that. Sorry

Asexual: Also known as Sheldon Cooper (lol jk). I personally don't think someone asexual can have romantic interests, because the sexual stage is just another part of love (or being horny, take your pick). If you're truly asexual, than any ideas of love you have are more than likely really good friendships. If not, you're probably not asexual.

This is just how I thought of it, I question the authenticity of my Asexual facts. I am not nor have I ever met someone truly asexual, so anything there was merely how I imagined it. Sorry for anything that may have been offensive, I swear it wasn't my intention haha

>>22 It's not dangerous if you simply don't care.

I'm bisexual and I say it proudly!

Im bisexual and i tottally agree with the fact that there is a scale, especially when it comes to bisexuality. For example, i lean towards girls more than boys but ill date both.

There are some weirder ones out there like a sexual attraction to trees called dendrophllia

>>27 But wouldn't that be more like a fetish? Just saying.

>>27 How would you even know that??

Okay so because I'm really lazy rather than taking time to type a bunch of shit out about this topic I'm just gonna leave this video link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXAoG8vAyzI

it will explain everything.

Pansexual, I think I'm not sure, is like being ok to date your siblings and any gender. I'm bi so this could be wrong

>>23 There are plenty of bisexuals who are attracted to non-binary people. Personally, I think bi- and pansexuality are up to each individual's interpretation. Some people who could be classified as pan choose to identify as bi, and that's fine because it's just a label.
>>31 Incest is more of a moral thing, but it can be a fetish. I wouldn't consider it a sexuality and I'm sure there are pansexuals who don't agree with incest.

>>32 Ah, ok thanks for clearing it up ^^

>>31 is 100% not the definition of pansexual

Being pansexual is being ready to open your legs to anything, basically (in the appropriate circumstances / with someone you like). This isn't just genders - this also includes sexual practices. If you're pansexual, you're completely upon to countless sexual fetishes, from footplay to heavy bdsm to alaskan pipelining, etc. You're ready to take a shoe up the ass if someone says it might be kinky. Gender, appearances, activity, etc. have no meaning so long as everything is consensual and pleasurable.

Most people who call themselves pansexual really aren't, js.

Being bisexual, on the other hand, is just being willing to be in a (sexual) relationship with either gender, while retaining your own limits to sexual practices or towards appearance, etc.

There's a huge difference between the two ,-,

Let's see here I will tell you this much...

-I am a bisexual...I am attracted to both girls and guys.
-My best friend is pansexual...he doesn't care about the gender of his partner, and in a way pansexuals are similar to bisexuals.
-My sister on the other hand is asexual...she isn't attracted to any gender.
In my opinion though I hear my straight friends contemplate what sex would be like with the same gender. Sexuality is a grey area even for me...

>>35 >>36 I think the current problem with sexuality is that everyone has their own definition of bi/pan/whatever else they want to call it. And as soon as someone suggests a more universal (probably not the best word for it but it's all I can think of right now) definition, people get angry about 'policing their identities' or something like that. I blame Tumblr.
Also, concerning bisexuality, what about other gender identities?

>>38 Pretty much :l

That's where it starts to depend on what the person considers gender and their views on trans. An outside definition of sexuality doesn't cover this because it can apply to any sexuality, although people have tried pushing it on the omni/pan sexualities despite it hasvingnothing to do with it. Quite frankly, most true pansexuals don't care about gender at all and probably wouldn't be able to put up with a trans going on and on about their fight to change to the other gender nor support them unless they were really close prior or just happen to be really nice and willing to listen.

Well... I'm straight/ bi-curious... I'm a guy who doesn't like gay sex... but heres my in pass, I want to give anal... but I don't want to hurt my girlfriend, and so the way I look at it is "the only way to know if it hurts is to do it..." thus making me bi-curious. its my odd way of thinking I guess

Bump

I'm gay and a girl.
My mom says sexuality is a spectrum (sort of like not being 100% of any one sexuality ) like me for example I only like to look at guys (I call it window shopping :3) but in romantic and sexual retaliation ships I only like girls.

I haven't read the posts in the thread so I apologize if it's been said already but I have a question to do with sexuality. I was wondering if people that are gay are naturally like that and don't really have a say about it. Do people choose to be gay by conforming or rebelling or something? How does that work?
I should probably mention that I'm a guy and only get attracted to girls. This means that I've never really been able to understand why people are gay.

>>44 Why are you straight? Is it something you decided on at some point in your life? Could you change your mind?

Maybe you should read the posts in the thread if you're really looking for info on this stuff.

>>46 No I just can't get attracted to guys. I have considered being gay but I just can't see guys like that. Are you gay? I want to know how people become gay or if they are just born that way. The posts before look to be about something else so I think it's easier just to ask people.

>>47 Some people have a big realisation moment, but others spend much of their life being attracted to whatever gender/s. Of course, our upbringing influences our sexuality a lot - I grew up thinking boys only liked girls and girls only liked boys. I gradually realised I felt equal attraction to both genders and it stuck. I guess I never really considered being into girls before a certain point in my life.
I hear a lot of people saying they were born that way and whatnot, but it really does have a lot to do with your social life and upbringing in my opinion.

>>48 I suppose that that's probably true as well. I grew up in a very strong Christian family so I guess it's no wonder that I'm straight XD. I'm not a Christian anymore though and like I said I have considered being gay. Maybe I'm too new to actually considering it that I need time to adjust or something. I suppose that the other part of it is that I'm not really into anything romantic or sexual at the moment so maybe that's a part of it.

Bump

>>43 For pretty much everyone I've spoken to with an alternate gender/sexual/romantic orientation, it isn't a choice. For me, personally, it wasn't a choice at all and just sort of developed naturally. I tried for awhile to make myself feel something for men, but it was ineffective. It's like dyeing your hair in a way--sure, your hair looks a certain way, but it doesn't change the actual color of your hair. If you're gay, you're gay, if you're straight, you're straight, and if you're any wide variety of things in between, you'll be that. Ultimately, it doesn't actually matter that much--you're you, after all, and that's more important.

ASex but in true straight it's complicated

>>52 Asexual heteroromantic? Not sexually interested in anyone but romantically attracted to the opposite gender?

>>53 I like the sound of that.

i'm a bi-romantic....pan-romantic...not sure

this is ridiculous, I don't understand all the confusion, if your interested in anothher gender than so be it, love is love, we should stop making labels!!!

Bump because this is a great topic to explore.

aromantic?I'm not sure, I'm not really certain about myself, I've had crushes and girlfriends back then, but the "me" right now isn't interested/attracted to anyone, like nothing, I feel nothing hahahaha!!!

Bisexuals are people who can't admit to being gay.

Pansexuals are lazy fucks crying for attention.

And with that; I bid you all adieu.

>>59 I bet you're fun at parties.

bump /o/

Oh and fuck >>59. Admitting to being bisexual is every bit as hard as admitting to being gay. Sometimes even harder if you're admitting it to assholes like this person. My mom used to say the same thing, only that guys who claimed to be bisexual were too afraid to admit to being gay, and that girls were just "experimenting" or "going through a phase." Fuck you. I'm not lesbian, because I'm pretty sure I've had some great straight sex. I guess it's possible I'm in an experimental phase, but I sure do have a lot of weird urges for a straight girl.

>>62 new favourite member

Also, I only barely understand the difference between bisexual and pansexual. As far as I understand, a bisexual would not be attracted to someone transsexual, especially if the person were in transition. I usually identify as bisexual, but honestly I'm cool with (or should I say hot for?) any stage of gender. This goes double for my romantic interests.

>>64 If you're bisexual, you like both genders. Whether you do or don't like trans is up to the individual in this case.

If you're pansexual, you like anyone or anything thing that can give you sexual/emotional pleasure. It's far more extreme than bisexuality but has nothing directly to do with transsexuals, despite the community's recent claims, which are spawned because pansexuals are generally like "idgaf what you're doing to your body if I think you feel naisu" and don't judge trans' sexually for it.

>>65 You're the only person I know of who uses that definition, interestingly.

The whole 'bi vs. pan' argument is really just annoying at this point. Some bisexuals are attracted to transgender and non-binary genders and some aren't. There's no official consensus of whether or not bisexuality includes non-binary identities - some argue that the bi in bisexual refers only to binary genders, but some disagree.
Honestly, I think it's just special snowflake bullshit at this point.

>>66 Everyone I know used this definition since we were little. It's only recently that I've heard people comparing it to bisexuality and saying it's just "being bisexual and okay with trans", which is absolutely not what it's ever meant to the LGBT communities that I have been a part of offline. Or, at least, not up until a few years ago.

"Pan" means "every". It used to extend past just people or genders or sexualities. Being "pan-sexual" means you are not limited by anything. Male? Female? Trans? Human? Dog? Cat? Cactus? Carpet? Slow cooker? "If it makes me feel good or happy, then K."

The first I heard of people starting to publicly limit the meaning of pansexuality was in "Sex and Society" (pretty sure it was released in 2010 or 2011), where the author started stressing that pansexuality only included "consensual adult activity", now excluding necrophilia, bestiality, etc. It used to be much more inclusive prior to these statements with there being different sects of the pan community.

I believe this transition was a result of a lot of heat being put on the pansexual community from religious zealots and police officials due to crimes and questionable circumstances in pansexual clubs and organizations. I think that's why the more conservative section of the group broke off and started making more public statements saying that the pansexuals are "just gender blind." It's from there that it started to really become a thing that pansexuality like trans-acceptance.

that pansexuality is like trans-acceptance*

>>67 Slightly confused here.

Pansexuality is the orientation towards everything, yes? You would get pleasure from male, female, animals, literally everything?

I'm not sure how exactly that can be defined, given that we are still now discovering more and more orientations. How can someone know they are pansexual unless they literally try everything?

>>69 That's like saying you can't know that you're homosexual unless you 'try' someone of your own gender. Sexualities are both sex itself and the relationship.

It's both emotional and physical (depending on the person). If over the course of you're life, you've found yourself attracted to various people or things, then there's a possibility you're pan.

And it doesn't mean you're literally attracted to every single thing, per se. Just because you're gay doesn't mean you're attracted to EVERY person of your gender, amirite? It just means that there is a possibility you may like them or that you find their base being attractive.

>>70 Ah, that makes more sense. I would still be right in saying you'd have to have some attraction to every base thing, correct? Not necessarily every example of it, but at least the idea?

I would definitely say you'd have to 'try' someone of your own gender to really know if you are gay or not. It's fairly hard to determine it just from simulation, or at least it was for me.

The only reason I know my sexuality is because I tried it out. Before that I was completely wrong. I sort of assumed it was similar with most people, but I guess not.

>>71 A lot of my bisexual and gay friends knew before they 'tried' anything. Though that may be because they're not the types to try something without a good reason. They'd never go out with or sleep with someone they legitimately didn't feel that way about, so they obviously knew they liked the same gender before they asked anyone of said gender out. That may just because my group of friends has pretty tight morals, though.

And I wouldn't say you have to have an attraction to every base thing but an acceptance that it's something you could like. You can't rule anything out in this case. I can determine that I'm straight because I have 0 desire to ever be in a relationship with a woman. I've known that even before I found any man specifically attractive. You don't really get the chance to do that as a pan.

Though in all honesty, I couldn't describe the full-on psychology of being a traditional pansexual because I have never been one myself. I can only say what I assume is the case based on the definition.

>>67 I was only introduced to the concept of pansexuality (though it was defined as gender blindness) recently, but I quite like your definition. Didn't know it had a different meaning.

>>1 This is an answer to the original post here.
I'm asexual, so I feel like I could actually be of assistance here.
Yes, there is a solid difference between sexuality and romanticism, you are absolutely correct. Now, I'm generally not the romantic type, and see people much more as friends than partners. I'll find that a lot of times, they think the exact opposite, and I can't figure out until they admit it. =D
Anyways, to be simple, yes, you can be a straight asexual. Men and women do differ in actions and personalities, which can make one side more favourable to an asexual, rather than the other.