Just to say I'm not whining or anything I just want to know why people pick on me a lot. Okay, that sounded a little whiny but whatever. I've been to a lot of schools and I get bullied quite a lot in almost all of them I think and people who know me unless they're really good friends of mine. I've gotten used to it now so it doesn't hit me as hard but I still wanted to know if I could change at all so people would give me a little respect and not just walk all over me like a rag cloth. I don't have much self-confidence and I'm a little shy but its not that noticeable. I do well in school and I'm a little popular but almost everyone takes the mic outta me. Again, I'm not trying to whine about thise and that was little bit about me to see if it could be my low self esteem or high grades. I also never thought it was much of a problem until a few of my good friends said they feel sorry for me because everyone insults me one way or another. Any reasons why and could I change them?

Also, sorry for grammar and sentences that don't make sense.

It could be that you are an easy target, or maybe they get a rise out of you. I was picked on, but I didn't handle it the best. I was depressed and suicidal at the time, and yet people still picked on me. I was one of the kids that might'v gone crazy and shot up the school.

If it doesn't bother you then all the better for you. It doesn't matter what others feel, but as long as you aren't bothered by it then I think it will be fine.

It could be that you are getting good grades, and if you are somewhat new to the school you make a good target. I still don't know why one group of people picked on me so much though. After a while they stopped picking on me, but I don't know any quick fix.

>>3 has a point. They generally pick targets that won't fight back, or targets they see as a threat to their social status.

>>4 That kind of defines who I was in the sixth gradde. People like this one bitch that sat in front of me... She freaking madse fun of me just becuadse I was odd. She wasn't to[ bitch either. I wpoiuld've easily over tossed her "status" if she hadn't been a bitch.

Anyway,. you're probably unsual in a certain way. I have a messed up right ear (tumors, noncancerous, plus reaccurance) and the tendency to just stare at things. NO idea why. So people bugged me over it. You'll get used to it in time and ignore them.

Just embrace your inner bitch and make sardonic comments at them. Also helps if you try and stab them, or throw furniture at them, or try and strangle them with something. It worked for me :l

Thanks this really helped. I'm being diagnosed with aspergers at the moment so it's probably that (google it if you don't know) and I am a little odd. I used to be so depressed and just kinda drifted through life but it also happens to me in highschool and I'm not new in highschool. This really gives me a good idea about what to do so thanks!

look honestly just be who you are and if dont know find out just whats inside your soul yuki

>>7

Asperger's syndrome eh? I got that too.
I feel your pain... I was teased for being different as well... then again, ADHD didn't help me that much either... lol...

>>9 Yeah i think its why I was really unpopular at all my primary schools but I worked hard to make friends and in the end I was alright in highschool which is apparently hell so I feel good about it.

It's your fault for been that weak. If I where bullied, I'll indeed give them their own medicine and crush them if necessary.

Lol right, sure you would. >>11

>>11 What does being weak have to do with anything, sure if your bullied they say to fight back...but instead, defend. Don't go to their level and throw punches...it never works out that way...

Well, I practice martial arts. Despite of that, it's called self defense. Plus that scumbags called bullies need to be beaten at least onece in their lifes :)

>>14 Self defense should only be used if you feel physically threatened or provoked, NOT if someone is throwing slanderous insults your way.

Its cuz the people who bully you think you're weak. You have to show them you're not.

I wouldn't say I was weak, physically or mentally because I can definitely throw a punch and its not like I was suicidal or anything about being bullied even though it happened for most of my life after I moved to the other side of the world. I pretty much endured the whole thing after that and I didn't move schools because I was being bullied either. The first one closed down, the second was because I wanted to go to the third after the first closed down and all the others were when before I moved. I can't even remember them anymore. The bullying was pretty bad too. I was your typical outcast basically. Like I said I've gotten used to it now so it doesn;t seem as bad in highschool but I think for someone else it probably is. There's also this other girl at my school. She gets bullied about the same as me but she kinda cried about it so everyone felt sorry for her. I don't want anyone to make a fuss about me so I don't think I am weak. It could be I just appear weak.

Post a picture of yourself and I'll let you know why.

You have to take a lot of things into account really. People don't like /different/ unless that /different/ is praised by pop culture. How you dress, wear your clothes, style your hair, carry yourself, react to things, make eye contact with people, etc.. body language is a big part of it too. If you have low self esteem people will pick up on that in an instant.

perhaps just ask them why they pick on you, even better if you ask them while they are, and then just convince them that you're a nice person that way they'll see it as a really dumb move on their own part, and then if you can befriend them, then get them to talk to any other people that pick on you, and then you might even become known around the school as a good person and friends with everyone, and then you become invincible, also, doing nice things like smiling and waving to people at your school who you might not even know, and helping people who have problems that you can solve. And don't let the Asperger's get you down, while I don't know what it's like to have it, but I've personally overcome problems that most people would use as an excuse to be an asshat, but even though I have no clue who you are, I know you can overcome this problem of yours, and please do post how it goes, i'd like to know! Best of efforts Yuki!

It's called putting people in boxes. Google it.

Shadow child I wouldn't say its the way I looked that's a problem, but the self esteem thing might be it. I'll post a pic of myself if I can find a good one later.

Are you strange Yuki? As in Yuki Strange?

I had the exact same problem going through school and I too simply got used to it. One thing I can tell you is just to be yourself. Yeah I know that's some cookie-cutter guidance councilor answer, but it works. If you keep on being yourself you'll eventually find people you get along with, I mean it worked for me. However, I don't know what people say about you if posted some examples of what people said your fellow Dollars could be more help. Back in high school when people would give me shit about being an otaku I would say something like, "Hey dude I like what I like and do what I do, you don't see me givin' you shit about doing your own thing, so just chill man." If you just down play shit with a response like that than usually only the biggest asshole keep at, but fuck those people your a better person. Just keep your chin up Yuki and you'll be right-as-rain.

>>24 uhhh just about anything really. One was goth because my hair is dark brown. Not black, brown so I got called goth cos it was dark so that kinda shows they'll joke just about anything. Most of the insults weren't really true and just their way of making fun of me. Still, highschool. What're you gonna do?

Here are a few actions you could choose:
1. ignore them
2. ask them to stop
3. fire it back at them
4. be sarcastic about it

Personal experience of mine proved number 1 and 2 to be futile (you could still try them if you want). But 3 and 4 gives some result, I got less insults and could joke with them. They said, "good game" (whatever that means).

A few reasons why people picks on you:
1. you're different (in a good way, usually)
2. they wanted your attention
3. jealousy
4. they wanted to feel good about themselves
5. they didn't know how else to talk to you
6. they got nothing better to do
7. etc. (personal reasons?)

Those are purely my opinions, if you disagree it's fine.

Ok it seems like it's people acting like little kids...wow. Anyway in cases of people being childish you have 2 good choices:
1. Super Duper Sarcasm
2. Ignore it since I sure it'll stop
Since you told what they say I can see it's just really stupid people being fucking stupid. As long as they don't find out anything at could actually hurt your feelings you'll be fine. Bullying sorta stops after high school

Well, this might be extreme but did you know about reverse psychology? (Sorry if I mention it wrong)

Once a friend of mine did that and the bullies stop their misdeeds. But I don't really recommend it though, and stop reacting to it would give you results. . . For some of them. I am not trying to scare you but some teenagers just really find entertainment in bullying others, I think you should clearly tell them that you want them to stop (not in a gentle way of course) and while you tell them what you want glare at them right into their eye sockets. This may sound stupid but if you win in eye contact battle they lost the rest of the battle (you might get a physical attack though).

>>26 reasons are true and reading your previous post that you moved to the other side of the world. . . And different. May I ask. . .
Did you by any chance a mixed race?
You didn't like to be looked down on?
You don't want to be treated as a weak person?

Humans need always somebody to pick thats normal they have to put in any place their aggresion and it piss me off too. I would lie when i would say that i was different but i never pick somebody without a reason i control it very good i think ;)

I've read a little bit on this thread and I know this is a stupid question, but....

Can anyone explain to me what Asperger's Syndrome is? I googled & read it and I don't know if I have HSP(Highly Sensitive Person) or Asperger's Syndrome... @~@

>>30 its hard to describe but the three main things are:

Clumsy socially

Lack of empathy

Lack of imagination

I'm very very very tired while writing this though so I'm not even sure of they're right. You'd need a psychologist to give you a proper idea.

>>31 Hmm... I am clumsy when talking to people, but I don't lack of empathy or imagination... :/

I want to go to a psychiatrist or something, but I know my family won't let me see one. I seriously need help!

>>32 OKay, tell me a little what you mean. Btw you have to have an average or higher IQ to have aspergers.

Uhh.... I don't know where to begin... I believe I don't have Asperger's Syndrome though... I'm just really sensitive and I can't help it. No one knows that I have HSP except my older sister which I don't really think she cares..

Just to note, Asperger's and ADHD are some of the most commonly diagnosed mental disorders that people hang on to define themselves. While some may legitimately suffer from those conditions, by and large, there are a great number of people who use it as an excuse to act out or to scapegoat their lack of social abilities. It's better to not take it into account, even if you were diagnosed with it or think you might have it. It's a high-functioning mental disorder that would still allow you to function relatively normally in society, regardless.

People pick on others to feel better about themselves, plain and simple. Generally, if someone is insecure about themselves, they attempt to assuage the feeling by solidifying the idea that someone else they know is worse off than them in some way, feeding into the natural tendency towards schadenfreude, or, finding pleasure in someone else's misfortune or discomfort.

You say that you try not to let it bother you, so you're already doing all you can about the issue. The only real way to overcome it is to conform to what they believe is normal or to figure out why they make fun of you and expunge it from your personality, but we all know that those are shitty solutions.

Or you could take Tsuki's advice and embrace your inner bitch, but that might make things worse if you don't pull it off right. Perhaps you could take the middle ground and be sociable about it? Right now they pick on you because they think they're getting a rise out of you, even if you aren't reacting heavily to it. If you start taking it in stride, or even playing off of the insults, they might start losing interest in it.

It's a shitty thing to say, but honestly the easiest target is the one that appears to have low self-esteem or confidence. It might take some getting used to, but appearing more confident than you really are is one of the best ways to get out of that kind of situation - though don't be something you're not, if you don't want to. It's just an option.