1 Name: Anonymous : 2012-10-25 06:39 ID:n3xWqnRY [Del]
Greeting Dollars,
I need some advice. Lately, I've been really worried about my depressing lack of a social life. Seriously, I have perhaps 1 friend and I don't even know them that well. I'm generally a very awkward person, and whenever I meet someone I like, I'm not quite sure how to pursue a relationship with said person, and after a bit I guess they just take my shyness for indifference and leave me alone. The thing is, it takes me some time before I can act freely around people, as I'm quite inept and it's not uncommon for me to say or do the wrong thing and unknowingly insult people. I can't really make small talk, and my general interests are very far from the mainstream so it's hard to bring them up when talking with norms. It doesn't help that I apparently look angry or depressed most of the time either. So anyway, I was wondering how it is that some of you people met and made some of your best friends. Please don't hesitate to reply, any help here would be appreciated. Thanks.
2 Name: Khaos/David/Fang : 2012-10-25 09:23 ID:UZIssIW1 [Del]
i sort of understand because Fang the lone wolf in me usaly doesnt know how to speak to other people not because he is always quite because its hard for him to exspress other emotions besides solitude calm-ness and silence
3 Name: Sid : 2012-10-25 17:30 ID:bDwMpw1z [Del]
Truth be told I don't make friends easily. I only have one good friend. We met way back in middle school, and we just had a few classes together. We became quite good friends due to being suicidal and going through similar stuff as a kid. If I meet new people I tend to not talk. Some people have taken that the wrong way, but that is who I am.
During high school I stayed to myself. Some people came and went, but I think they mainly felt bad for me, since I was always sitting alone. I was content that way, still am, but a true friend is hard to find.
The only thing I can say is don't change yourself into something you're not. Just because you see things differently than others doesn't mean you should conform.
4 Name: Lyn : 2012-10-25 17:40 ID:XHTc0r/m [Del]
It helps to remember that if no one really knows you, you have no reputation to maintain- nothing to loose. The first step towards making friends is to talk to people. Find people who look interesting or nice or easy to talk to. If it doesn't work out, just pretend it never happened. There's a mutual social contract somewhere that states, if you pretend something awkward never happened, they should too
hope that helps ^.^
5 Name: Doremo : 2012-10-25 18:29 ID:yQ60ysAR [Del]
>>2 You know that sounded really fucking stupid, right?
6 Name: Koty : 2012-10-25 18:41 ID:M68eATbj [Del]
7 Name: Need a name : 2012-10-25 20:28 ID:0BynhcWb [Del]
Been there. I also am socially awkward. But once you get comfortable with someone, things should be easier.
8 Name: Misuto!M4ZBq07Cs. : 2012-10-26 13:08 ID:gc5anM9c [Del]
It's not abnormal, OP. To be honest, most of my friends were met through other long-term friends I've had. Or if I somehow found someone with similar interests (such as through this site), which is rare for the same reasons you gave.
Just don't be afraid to open yourself to possibilities, even if they're somewhat outside your range of interests. Network. Associate with lots of people even if in the end you're going to be selective about who you really talk to.
I find one of the easiest things to do is making friends over the internet, because of how informal and relatively slow the process is. You don't have to think on the spot - you have time to gather your thoughts, and ways to learn about peoples' interests without having to search too hard. Things like profiles on online communities, like Tumblr or Youtube or something.
But if you're concerned with making friends in person, just try to strike up conversations with people when the chance arises. Join in when you recognize something someone's talking about, even if it's just tangentially. If you tend to look sad or angry, put on a demeanor that says otherwise - nobody's going to know you unless you allow yourself to be known.
Expect not to find people that are as into the things you are, and be okay with that. Generally speaking, the amount of people online you see with similar interests is at least ten times as frequent as you would see outside of the internet, because of where you choose to look. Besides, if you become good friends with someone, you might convince them to see your interests as well - but don't make that your primary motive.
