I have self-confidence issues and really bad ones at that.

It starts with the fact that I hate how I look and everything about it. It used to just be that I didn't like looking in mirrors, but now I can barely stand to look at myself in any reflective surface.

Then there's how I act. Usually, I'm just a pretty laidback person who's a bit excitable at times that likes anime and video games, but sometimes this changes. There are some days when I wake up and suddenly I'm a major A-hole. I feel like I've broken many friendships and have neglected some parts of my family because of this.

Not to mention I have a bad case of procrastination and laziness that always kicks in whenever I try to strive for something big, whether its writing a novel, drawing a comic for someone, and losing weight. I feel terrible because of this and it eats away at me every day.

I've done some bad things, like cheating on a test and even stealing at times, but my family doesn't know about it. To them, I just have a mild case of depression, but it's worse than that.

I hope I didn't trouble you guys by just ranting about all my problems, but if any of you have advice that could help me out, please comment.

~BlackFurushima.

I've been away from this board for quite some time now~

Anyway...
I know how you feel. I too am not 'okay' with my looks and I would rather not look at myself if I can help it. The bad things part...from what you've listed I have done worse. Either way though you need to accept what you have done and know that nothing will change/rewrite the past to make you perfect.
As for the A-hole deal, I'm not like that. To be honest I'm the guy who doesn't talk unless spoken to (unless I'm online).

Something I can suggest that has worked with my depression was not living for myself. I live for other people now. I live for my friends and my family that way I won't die and become an even bigger burden.
Try to take life by the balls and make your family/friends/whoever happy.

Live so that you can see more smiles and less frowns.

Thank you for your kind words. I'll try to follow your advice. :)

Take a drama class. Mine in high school was like a bunch of friends, so it was a little easier to get in front of them than total strangers, and they were super supportive. But being up in front of 30+ people boosted my confidence, as well as improved public speaking skills, and cured a little of my stage fright.

Dude, the way you look does not matter that much, I am sure that even if you are not good looking you are not THAT ugly. Anyone who would judge you based on how you look is an asshole anyway, and would you want to be friends with an asshole? You want friends who love you for who you are. Actually, being 'ugly' could be considered an advantage in that respect. A way of 'weeding out' mean people, if you will. 'Attractive' people probably have to deal with stupid people just liking them because of the way they look and have no regard for their personality. I agree with post four, taking drama classes is always a good way to build up confidence. I used to be scared of letting people hear my voice, but joining an improvisational group really helped me out with that. Just remember that you do not have to care about what other people think, because what does it really matter? As long as you just have a couple of close friends, that is all you need. Being 'popular' would just be a pain in the arse.

I also have a lot of confidence issues but I learned that every person is special just the way we are. I used to be frustrated why I'm not like this person or that person, but I learned that being myself is all that I really need... You are irreplaceable and original (flaws included). Embrace your existence and live life!XD...

>>5 Being popular isn't hard at all. It's pretty easy -.-

You are probably going to hate me, but you are not very depressed. One is that you still care for your appearance, two is by looking in the mirror you notice yourself. Knowing many depressed people in the past, including myself, we didn't give a shit of how bad we looked. Also most of them say that when theyt look in the mirror they feel disconnected from themselves, like they don't even know the reflection staring back at them. Also if you were truly depressed you wouldn't care about slacking off. I think you just might be going through some things at the moment, but nowhere neer actual depression.

>>8 No, don't worry, I don't hate you. XD It's actually good that someone told me about the fact that I'm not depressed.

>>6 I've had people say those things before when I talked to them about my low self-confidence, but the thing is that I don't think I'm particularly comparing myself to anyone. :/

>>5 Thank you so much! Your post has made me feel a lot better. :)

>>4 I used to take Drama, but actually quit because I wasn't very confident of my acting skills. I'm always feel very clumsy and nervous when I'm up on stage...

>>9 Don't give up. It's something you don't notice until later. I still feel clumsy on stage, but in my day-to-day, I've noticed I'm more confident.

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