My friend, shes really religious and believes in the sex only after marriage thing, i have no problems with it but im worried about one thing, if she marries the guy shes currently going out with im worried if he sucks in bed then their relationship isn't going to be all that great, and i know what most of you cheesy people are going to say (no offense) that sex isn't everything in a relationship and yeah it isnt but its still a big part. so still i dont want her to have a bad relationship and end up being a divorcee

Hmmmm, I don't think that could be a real problem though. How old are they anyways? I mean if they're in high school, they shouldn't even think about getting married any time soon.

If you can't have a relationship without sex, then it's not a real relationship.

>>3 Agreed, but I admire that you are looking out for your friend

I'm with >>3 on this one. No sex, why call it a relationship? It's just a 'friendship' then. It's sweet you're looking out for her best interests, but let her find out on her own. The only way she will learn is from experience. And if their relationship falls apart, so be it.

>>3 Don't agree.

Having sex isn't the only important part of a relationship. Anybody who says that any connection without sex is a 'friendship' or that any connection with sex is a 'relationship' is a dumbfuck, to be blunt, whose opinion is invalid due to fuckbuddies and eternal virgins who are happily married. A true relationship is a mental, emotional, AND physical connection. If they're great in bed, it's a fuckton better, but as important as sex is, it's not the only thing that makes a relationship. When it comes to dating in general, the sex is more important since you're usually not aiming for that connection. But if you want a long-lasting relationship, the sex isn't the only thing that's important.

Although, I don't agree with "no sex until marriage." I'll word my reasoning like my mom did: "What if he whips out his thing and it's miniaturized? That would be horrible. How could you ever want to sleep with that shit? If you're going to wait to have sex after marriage, at LEAST strip him. And don't wait until right before the wedding, either."

Anyway, yeah. >>1 It's not your life. Get the fuck out of her business. She'll follow her morals, and you follow yours. If it ends up well, she won't need your worry. If it ends up bad, be there for her to fall back on. Chances are, if she doesn't believe in sex before marriage, she won't know what "good" or "bad" sex is by the time she's married, and it won't bother her because she won't know that he's bad in bed if she has no one to compare it to.

I feel like I need to elaborate.

The most important aspects in my relationship are emotional and mental. If you need sex to sustain a relationship, I don't feel that it is a relationship, just sex. I wouldn't want to stay with someone who is great in bed but other than that we constantly argue and can't stand one another.

Love should be a primarily mental/emotional connection. Friendship is platonic love(not wanting to take it physical)(I think either >>5 misunderstood or I wasn't clear)

If the sex is good, all the better.

I also don't really believe in sex before marriage. I may consider sex if I am in a committed, long, long-term relationship.

Wow, way to stick your nose in other people's business.

First of all, what if the guy turns out to be really awesome at sex? Then it'd be heaven, wouldn't it. Why would you assume that he's bad? -suspicious-

Second of all, IF she DOES marry him, it definitely won't be because of sex will it, since she hasn't had it yet. It'd be because of his personality and shit, and I'm PRETTY SURE that even if the guy is bad at sex, it's not like that's gonna be the grounds for a divorce.

And also, if you think about it, if you only have sex with one person for your entire life, then i'm sure no matter how "bad" it is, it'd be great for that person.

So, just because sex is OBVIOUSLY a make or break factor in relationships for you doesn't mean that it is for your friend. Let her decide her own happiness by what makes her happy instead of you trying to govern her sex life.

Dear Toru Katz, why are u concerning yourself about your friends future sex with her husband??? Your not part of their relationship. Dont worry or stess yourself out over it...

oh, and I just thought about it, but DID YOU KNOW? If you have sex enough, you DO get better at it.

Practice makes perfect. Of course, if waiting til marriage, then I guess just exploring after getting married or wanking or something, I dunno.

watashi: you have a point yes, but no practice doesnt always make perfect, people have sertain things they cant do, tone deaf people cant sing no matter how much practice they take. im not sticking my nose in her business by the way she brought it up and we just started talking, i was only seeing others opinions on it. Sex IS a large part of a relationship whehter someone will deny it or not. Sex relieves stress, keeps your body healthy and you happy. it isnt everything your right but it still does have great value in a relationship, and just cuz someone has never had sex doesnt mean they dont no what bad sex is. its as simple as no pleasure=bad sex. And your right if she marries him she'll like him for all that. However her town is 90% mormon and about 80% divorcee children there are only 3 families that are still together so itsa a very common thing among them. i just dont want that to happen to her got a problem with me being concerned?

Seriously? Not trying to be mean, (Take that for what you will) but as someone has already said, its their business, not yours, and posting this on a (Public?) website comes off as creepy, and rude.

How old are you/they? Anything below 20 (I'd even say below 30) is waaay to young to be concerned with this kind of stuff.

>>12 I have a problem with you being concerned. IT'S NOT YOUR LIFE. Simple as that. It's not your business what her sex life is going to be like. It's not your business what her religious practices are. It's not your business whether or not she's going to get a divorce. Get. Out. Of. Her Life. Don't even THINK about her future life. Pay attention to your own, current life and let her live hers the way she wants to.

Yes, practice does make perfect. Even tone deaf people can eventually learn how to sing with a proper teacher.

No, you don't know what bad sex is if you've never had it before. You don't know what sexual pleasure is if you've been pleased or displeased before. She doesn't KNOW what pleasure is (unless she's been masturbating, but hey, that's none of our business), so she doesn't KNOW what "not being pleased" is. Chances are, if she sees her husband enjoying himself, she's going to assume that that's what good sex is.

If she's waiting to have sex after marriage, she probably isn't going to make sex a huge part of her first relationship even after marriage. She doesn't sound like the type to divorce just because her husband is bad in bed. IF you needed to be worried about anything, it would bed her husband leaving her. With no experience, she'll probably be worse in bed than he is. Nonetheless, it's nobody's place to worry about her future sex life.

>>14 would be her husband*

>>14 Pretty much this.

To be honest, I agree with Barabi here. No offence, but I don't think it's really your place to be concerned about this. Just leave it to your friend to worry about, since, to put it frankly, this is none of your business. And personally, if I were in your friend's place, I wouldn't be too happy about you interfering in my personal life, let alone posting about it online.

>>12
Well, I'm pretty sure she didn't ask you to get consensus on the internet about whatever you guys talked about.

And to everything else you said, BarabiSama took the words right outta my mouth