This is a thread for dating problems, the threads that get a few reply's and they than die. Here you may come to talk about one-sided love, crushes, anything to do with dating problems.

This thread is meant to help de-clutter the personal boards sudden influx of threads about kissing, being a third wheel, etc. I know dating problems are personal problems but they can overwhelm this board to the point where other problems can be bumped down without getting the attention they deserve.

Also you can compare your dating situation to others and see the advice they have gotten about their dilemma, as well as getting support.

I was never asked for a date... And i'm 17. :O

>>2 well, if you're a guy, you should maybe grow a pair and ask?
and if you're a girl, grow a pair and ask the guy.

don't really get why YOU need to be asked, why not be the one asking? o_o

wait, that might've been a bit unsupportive.

Take initiation and just ask the person on a date. I mean, rejection may be an issue but that's a risk. Also, I really hope you're not one of those people who complain that no one likes them but they've been asked out by a bunch of people who are "not their type". In which if that's the case, you have wasted 30 seconds of my time and are shallow and don't even deserve the scum of the Earth. But otherwise, cheers! Don't be shy :)

well i wannt to break up with a girl but i don't know how to do that without making her sad

>>4 I'm a girl who never knew the world of the opposite gender till college. So yeah. No one asked me yet. My sister was sorta complaining as to why I never had a date, because my cousin who is a year younger that me gets bouquets of flowers and my cousin who is as old as me is already on her third boyfriend. My cousin who is two years younger than me looks like an actress which causes people to hit on her (which she does not like by the way), and my sister has someone who she in in a mutual understanding with. And yes, we are all girls. And I did try to approach, with me being rejected like 3 times with 3 different people. Um yeah. So I think I didn't waste your time, @watashi! :)

>>5 Why don't you give us details! :)

My story has a bit of a problem, so I guess it qualifies!

So, this girl is really everything I could ask for in a girl. Cute as all hell, hilarious, all that jazz. So I had asked her out on Halloween (it was all dimly lit by street lights so I thought it'd be romantic-ish) because it was a great opportunity to ask her out on a date.

So the first few weeks went marvelously. We talked and talked about all the things we enjoyed and hated and even while taking a few walks. This was in-between school so we didn't have all too much time. Fast forward through a few more chill weeks>>>> So, she had to go on a sort of vacation with her family, so I had spent the afternoon with her before she had to leave.

You know that feeling when you know something bad is about to happen, but you just don't know quite what? This exercises that feeling thoroughly. So, the day I saw her next was a Monday at school. I could feel the atmosphere she was giving off as if she was distant from me. So (WHAT A SHOCKER!!) she breaks up with me and apologizes. I was angry like any other guy would be, but not at anyone in particular. I had asked her why. She said because her dad was tired of her going out with me (at least that's how I interpreted it) and that was that.

We shall now fast forward to this year (I'm a sophomore in HS now). Alright, so this summer I was looking at my FB because I don't usually. I saw in the feed from her saying "I'm gonna miss you all" and I went straight into denial. I then notice a message. And whoopdie-doo, guess what it says? "Hey. can you come to my house? It's important." By then, that nasty feeling already set in. But, noooo, it just gets worse. I then notice the date. A single day before I left for a summer vacation in my homestate. I had lost internet the day she sent the message.

I felt ripped apart that I didn't get to say goodbye to someone I loved before they moved away. To rush and end this thing as fast as possible, I asked if she still liked me. She said yes, then retaliated with an even better question: "Do you like me". The real "better" part of this question was this when she said: "More than you say you do?" That's when it clicked. I love this girl. I said yes, of course.

I bet this is testing your patience if you've made it this far... So now, she lives an hour or so away from me which isn't too bad, but still. We aren't officially back together, but we send messages back and forth pretty much every day. I'm pretty damn happy now.

Yeah, so it's a time-consuming story that ends in the problem being the fact that she only moved an hour away, but to hell with it. Thanks for reading. :)

>>7 Maybe you can apologize and explain. And tell her that you needed the time for recovering from your break up. If she is the one, she will understand you. And come to her her house, or set an appointment yourself, trough facebook too, telling her that you are ready to face her, um, dad, I suppose. Well, are you ready to have a relationship with her again?

>>6 Oh, well then they suck too.
Have you ever thought about maybe being friends first? I mean, I dated different types of guys and I learned that it is pretty much better to be friends first, unless it's like the guy of your dreams who you fell in love with at first sight and it's been like ages. I think if that's the case, you shouldn't really ever give up. I never really tried and actually, I never really confessed to the guy even though he already knew, but blah blah blah. So, I think that well if you do find a guy friend that's like the man of your dreams, never give up until you've exhausted all options possible (and sex isn't an option; fuck buddies never work). Welllll, I hope that gave some light on your situation if any ._.

>>5
There's no way that can really happen. If she really likes you, she'll be sad. So, at the least, just give her the respect she deserves and break up face-to-face, and let her say all the shit she needs to say, if any. Don't comfort her if she cries cause then she thinks that you care (in more than just a friend way), don't explain why, because no reason is really a "valid" reason for her. Apologize and thank her, if you feel like that's proper. Don't offer to be friends, although maybe after a good amount of time (like say a month) you CAN talk to her, but for gods sake, you broke up with her, don't try to do something stupid and get back with her cause you're bored or other explicit reasons that would be unholy for me to say.

Anyways, Good luck and I'm sorry that you feel that way

>>7
Not sure if you want advice or if you just wanted to share your story.

If advice, you're pretty young, she's pretty young (I'm assuming), and I don't really think that at least she's looking for a serious relationship or else. First of all, it's because of your age, most kids want to date for fun and date just to be able to say that they've dated. Second of all, i mean unless she follows the words of her parents like it's the LAW for every single subject there possible is (i.e. Don't take ___ class, Come home by _ time, etc), I highly doubt she broke up with you cause her dad said so. I mean, a lot of middle school girls don't really listen to their parents and they usually date in secrecy but I dunno. Well, I could be totally wrong and it IS just advice, so if your situation is different than I imagine it to be, then cheers to you.

(On a side note, I talk like I'm old, but I'm really not much older than you guys... College age. It's just I've experienced more than I wish I had, so might as well share so I can save someone else from the pain-in-the-ass learning experiences)

Just want to share my story. No need to read cause it's a really damn long story, but I've been holding it in me for 5 years, so I just want the satisfaction of knowing that someone else in the world knows how I felt.

It all started in 7th grade. On the first day of school, I saw a guy (let's called him A1) and it was love at first sight. This was the first time I fell in love with anyone, and I really didn't know how to act, so I was kinda a creep. I would put letters in his locker and stuff, and I dunno I thought I was being kinda cute or sweet, but I realized like a year later that I was actually kinda really creepy. We didn't even talk, but he was friends with my friends, so we did have contact with each other, but again, we didn't talk. So, after being a creep for 3/4th of the school year, I stopped, apologized, and we became pretty good friends. But, my problem is that I'm depressed. So, sometimes I would feel really sad that he didn't like me, so I would delete him off MySpace (yeah, it was popular back then), delete his number, and all that. So, I guess that kinda irritated him, so we weren't as close as we were.

So around comes 8th grade. In this year, we had somewhat a lot of classes together, and I found that as an excuse to get close to him. Most of our classes we had all our others friends in them, but in English class, it was only me and him. So, we got pretty close there, since we would always partner up together. It was pretty much like that for the entire year, and every excuse I could get, I would buy him something as a present. I dunno, I felt like my feelings could get to him with these things or whatever. But in 8th grade, there was a problem. This girl (let's called her B1) entered 7th grade and I naively introduced her to my group of friends. Apparently, she was really pretty and nice and blah blah, but I think she was just the only other girl who looked decent and flirted a storm. So, he liked her. I remember, he gave her a rose on Valentine's Day, and I felt kinda bad. I also remember that during the winter time, it snowed a decent amount and so we were all playing in the snow. And we were kinda having a snow fight, and B1 was being really flirtatious, and was putting snow down his shirt and always doing stuff towards HIM not anyone else. And so, he kinda tackle/hugged her into the snow. Wow, what a killer for my poor heart. But, the best thing I remember is that we were at B1's house playing a game, and there was this girl who ALSO liked him (let's call her B2), but she was trying to be a good friend towards both B1 and me. So, we were playing Truth or Dare, and she dared him to kiss us both on the cheek, but he didn't want to. So instead, she told him to kiss us on the lips but with his hand in between. So he did, and I felt so happy. It really felt like my heart burst, and damn I blushed so hard.

So that's pretty much the summary for 8th grade, moving on to 9th. I don't really remember much about this year. We had several classes together and it was our first year of high school, so we were closer than ever since upperclassmen were intimidating. Anyways, we again would partner up for projects (but only in classes where it was just me and him). Ah, as a side note, in my group of friends, guys believe in the bros before hoes, though it's not necessarily same with the girls (chicks before dicks). Anyways, uh yeah. Lots of projects. I remember he called me a player, which really kinda alarmed me. I mean, I HAD dated/had interest in several guys in middle school, but I got dumped, and I always always felt bad being with several guys cause I still liked A1, it's just I felt bad rejecting other guys too. I mean, was I a player???? 9th grade was pretty uneventful, but it was also the year when I started to hang out with my friends less outside of school. In fact, I hardly ever really did.

So around comes 10th grade, and well. We had a lot of fun together. Again, we had a lot of classes together. And again, I didn't hang out with my friends outside of school. I remember though, in chemistry class, we would always play these games together on paper during lectures, and i think it annoyed all our friends cause they wanted to either listen to the teacher, or I'm not sure. But, I really liked that and I was disappointed that eventually we stopped. I don't really remember much about 10th grade either.

11th grade is where a LOT of things happened. 11th grade is pretty much the turning point of all things.

BUT I'm rather tired, so 11th grade, 12th grade, and beyond will be tomorrow!

thanks a lot watashi the truth is its the first time i need to breakup with someone and i really need encouragment and i see what ur saying and i agree with everything but she'll probabloy ask fora reason...or do u think she wont??

i mean i have a reason of course its beacouse duee to some circumstances(its a long story and i really dont feel like writing it now) we wont be able to see each other for long intervals of time and our relathionship is short and isn't all that strong and i think its better to end it now than wait for more problems

>>8 Well, I don't think there's much chance of us getting back together. You know, long distance relationships don't usually work out too well. Though I am ready for a relationship with her, I just don't believe it's gonna happen.

>>11 Hehe funny story, because she's actually older than me! And remember, this is from freshman and sophomore year, right now. Anyways, thanks for the advice, though I WAS just sharing :3 And your story looks like it has more beef than mine, so imma read dis schitt. Thanks again, though!

***** 5 stars to this thread. Thanks Elunore. I wish this thread had existed when I had dating problems. Maybe I'll read over the thread soon to see what advice I can give.

>>13>>14
Well, if she asks for one, then tell her the truth? And if well, that's the only general reason as to why you want to break up, I suggest simply saying something along the lines of "We're not ready to be in a relationship", "I think our relationship will only hurt each other" or something along those lines. I wouldn't recommend saying me, you, etc because I feel as though if you say those kinds of things, it'd be as if you're blaming or that she's not "good enough" for you, even if you don't mean that at all. Anyways, gain, sorry that it's come to that and I wish you all the luck for your future relationships!

>>15
Ooooh.. Well I read your story!! And if you indeed want my opinion on anything, feel free to ask. I have kinda a pessimistic view though /: Probably because I've come to realize shit happens.

AND ON WITH MY STORY

>>12
So, along comes 11th grade. 11th grade was the year I started experimenting with stuff, like drinking, smoking, and such. And well, turns out that A1 allowed people to do those kinds of things in his house since his mom (single mother) works night shifts. But, he didn't do those things, he was just a host I suppose. Anyhoo, so the first time I ever drank (don't judge, I'm a curious person..) was while he was driving and 4 people were passing around several bottles of 20% alcohol. Turns out, I'm a real lightweight, so I'm pretty much drunk outta my mind after one-shotting a whole bottle. So, after much puking and passing out, A1 takes us to his house, where people are having a "party" and I just pass out on his bed. Well, let's skip the boring details of how I was pretty much the cutsie girl who was really silly, and moving out. So before everyone else left, I woke up and went out to the living room to say bye to everyone else and ended up passing out on the couch.

About an hour or two later, I wake up and I found that I'm laying on A1's body with his arms wrapped around me and he's fast asleep. (And for all you dirty thinkers, ALL ARTICLES OF CLOTHING ARE INDEED ON). Wow, what a surprise. I was pretty sure my thudding heart would wake him up. I had absolutely no idea what to do, and all these thoughts were racing through my head. "Am I heavy", "Do I smell weird", "Why is he hugging me", "How the f--k did this happen", etc. But, I dunno. Wow, I felt really happy though. So, I laid there for what seemed like forever, until he woke up. I pretended to be asleep, and he laid me aside, went to take a piss, and went to sleep on his bed. Wow, seriously wow though. Well, around 7am, he woke me up again and told me that I had to go since his mom was going to come home soon, and asked me if I needed a ride. I said I would just walk. BUT WOW. And honestly, if it weren't for that moment, I would've probably never drank again cause it's a shit feeling. But, I wanted something like that to happen again, so I drank again.

This time, I was probably even more drunk than I was before. and again, I passed out on his bed. There was indeed ANOTHER party going on, but I suppose it was too loud or something or they were doing something MORE than just drinking (if you catch my drift), and he didn't want to be a part of that or something. So, he was in his room too, just me and him. And for those of you who've never drank before, I'll briefly describe. Your body get reallly hot, and you get dizzy, but doesn't really AFFECT your brain. And, as for everything, after you've been really hot, you get really cold.

So, there I was laying in his bed, freaking cold. He's lounging on his bed playing the guitar, and I asked him to play some songs and he played some. Then, my courage kicked up. I asked him if I could hold his hand to warm my hands up. He said something along the lines of that if he does hold my hand, he can't play guitar. I just said please, and he obliged. Getting a bit bolder, I asked him if I could hold his arm cause I wasn't getting any warmer. He grudgingly obliged. Then, I asked him if he could put his arm around me. I said something about body heat, and well, he did it. So, I just dozed off with him laying beside me with his arms around me again. Wow, I felt so happy. I mean, i can't even describe how happy I was. It's a different kind of happiness than anything. But, it had to stop since some drunk couple came barging into the room, shouting and stuff, and I laughingly almost got into a fight with the drunk guy. Inside, I was pissed, but I kept laughing. Anyhooooo, moving on.

SO! Shortly afterwards, his mom found out and that all had to stop. And, well. Basically, we kept in touch. I reminded him not to flirt, because well, he naively was rather a heartbreaker towards other girls. And I encouraged him in school, and such, but we never hung out after school. We would text a lot and talk about so many things. I was really happy talking to him.

But, apparently, all good things must end. In 12th grade, we began to talk less. And you know, it's hard to love someone so much and not be loved back. He never loved me, or even liked me (as far as I know). So, we fell apart. And you know, I was so desperately in love with him for FIVE years. It was sucked ass because I knew he never felt like that for me and that he never probably will. But, I couldn't really ever stop loving him. And well, I've been in a relationship with someone else for almost two years now, and I love this guy. But, you know, it's true. You never really do forget your first love. I actually still do honestly truly love him, and I think I always will. But, I've learned to just leave it at that. Even if somehow someday he loves me back, doesn't matter. I let that go.

But, yeah. I just want SOMEONE to know. I love him and I always will. My friends don't seem to understand that you can love someone, but not necessarily want to be with them. Well, it's complicated, but basically. I love him. For 5 years I tried so hard to be with him, but it's okay now. And even though it's been a while, I still f--king love him.

>>19 you are one loyal girl, but you are honestly just gonna hurt yourself by doing that. Not that I'm encouraging you, but really, you'll just break, and pulverize your own heart watching him from afar. I may be wrong it give this oppinion, cuz I never experienced something like that , but... those ideal relationships only happen in fictions and songs. WE SUPPORT YOU, though, if he's what's making you happy as of the moment, and last I heard, love does not have any diminishing marginal utility to the young and pure at heart :)

>>19 Great story, I really enjoyed it. Sorry about it, though. Sounds pretty damn rough to love and not be loved back... Nevertheless, thanks for the read! :D

>>20
Heh, I don't really expect anything like that :) It's just a feeling that probably won't go away

>>21
Thanks! Eh, I got used to it but thanks :)

Ah, and just from reading a thread from a nine year old, I really think that this thread needs an age limit of at least in high school...

*bumppp*

I need help...
My bf and i have been together for 6 months and we have a long distant relationship. because of the time differences and the days i have exams etc, we've been distant.
So i did something really stupid and i was on the phone late with a guy friend of mine and stuff happened
He started talking dirty and because i felt lonely i guess i went along with it. I woke up the next morning crying cause i wasn't sure if i cheated or not so i called my bf but he didn't pick up and i really wanted to tell him. so i called my guy friend and we drew the line to no more late night calls and dirty talks. I had no feelings whatsoever for this friend as he was lonely too cause his gf dumped him and he knew i had a bf. I felt like i made the biggest mistake ever, and i hate myself for it. My friend said he's very sorry and admit it was his fault but we both clarified it wasn't phone sex cause there was no sign of encouragement whatsoever.
What happened that night was he was talking dirty about his ex and how much he misses her and i was sad cause i missed my bf. i started fantasizing about my bf and after a good 5 minutes it was over.
i felt so guilt and asked for my best friends help and she told me it wasn't cheating and not to tell my bf but i couldn't cause i was so upset. I told my bf about everything, he did admit he felt abit betrayed but he told me not to worry and it's all over and forgave me. i asked him if he trusts me still and he said yes.
This feeling of guilt still bothers me, i really do love my boyfriend and i feel stupid,sick,hate for what i did and i want to live up to his trust.
Help me please, i'll be seeing him in a few weeks and i want to show him i really do love him. I swear i'm never going to make that same mistake.

>>25 You don't have to do anything except act normal. Just don't make that mistake again, and you'll be fine. While you did fuck up, you did the right thing by stopping it and telling him.

So, me and this girl I know from church have been dating just over a month now, and very recently realized we love each other. Everything is great between us. I'm a total geek in my interests, but she surprisingly knows everything I talk about. So no problems between us. The real issue is, I'm 18 and she's 15. Her parents are pretty strict, and her dad just recently found out we are dating(and nothing illegal I may add) and he doesn't really have much of a problem with the age difference as he does with her dating. She's a freshman in high school, yet her dad tells her that she needs to be free and not attached during then. But she's happy with me, and I feel that's what matters is what makes her happy. So, I'm gonna most likely end up meeting her father next Sunday, and I don't know how to show him and make him understand that not all guys are "immature" and "stupid". I'm neither of those, but have no clue how to break through his pre-established bias of young men. I just need to know how to get him to be happy she's happy.

>>25
At least you told him. I dunno what kinda guy your boyfriend's like. Maybe you could talk to him more and when you're lonely, turn to him instead of a friend?
Oh, and when you're spending time with him in a few weeks, make sure that you turn your phone off while with him. If he wants to see the contents of your phone, show him since you want his trust back. But other than that, devote the time you're with him to him only instead of texting your friends and stuff.

>>27
I say, be yourself. Don't try to act older cause adults can see through that. Don't try to be someone you're not. Do be respectful though, but I think that goes without saying. It's great that you like someone a lot, and you might think it's love but it might not be. If you really want to prove that you "love" her, then just be yourself. Her father will be able to see if you deep down inside really mean it or not, even if you can/can't see.

so there's this guy. and i like him, alot. cuz he's nice,sweet, funny, hansome,and i think he gets me more thn most people. He's a swimmer,with blonde hair, these preetty green eyes, and white skin with these pretty pink lips that most girls want. he's my height. but....he's taken. what should i do. i don't want to be THAT girl.

>>29 Then don't be. Be friends with him but don't make any moves on him. If he breaks up with his girl and you still feel that way then you can make a move. Until then you can just be there for him as a friend.

>>29 wait. patience. and find other options.

A-Buh-A-Buh-Buh BUHMMP

I've been encountering problems attempting to ask out a girl in one of my classes. I've liked her for quite some time, and now she sits right next to me and I have the perfect oppurtunity, it's just that every time I am about to so much as talk to her, I can't. Damn I suck.

>>33 I know it can be hard to talk to that one girl, but you can do it if you really want it. Just keep talking to her or do if you don't. If you really like her, it'll be well worth it in the end. Just ask her if she'd want to go do something sometime. (assuming you're in the time around highschool.) Thought i'd give it my two cents.

>>34 thanks :)

bump

B-B-B-B-BUUUMMMP

I SAID BUMP DAMMIT!

i realy like this guy hes mi friend, wev been talking for over a year now but he liks other girls (our friends) and i hav other guys who lik me but i dont lik them. wer both to shy to ask people out. i want to tell him but everyone hates him think hes weird and evil and if i date him ill lose lots of friends... i realy lik him but he can b a jerk sometimes, i guess im just confused on wat to do

>>39 First, thanks for actually noticing the bump. Now to give my [insert random coin name]. What I see for your situation is that, obviously, you are shy. It may seem like the farthest thing from possible to ask someone out, I know this, but the second you realize you can do it is the second you'll get him. Now, behaviors change from person to person so I don't know exactly how it will go, but my advice would be to make sure you know each other enough to make a relationship last. If you're confident with yourself, ask him out. The worst he can do is reject you, throw you down, and stomp your heart into the ground. JUST KIDDING, but seriously, just be strong and be yourself and if he's not an ass, you'll live lovey-dovey happily ever fucking after. :D

(Just ignore this bump.)

So I like this girl.
And we're really good friends, right?
And I have no idea if she's straight or whatever. (I'm also a girl.)
Love doesn't really seem to be important to her; either that or she's good at hiding her loneliness. She's never mentioned anything about liking anyone, male or female. I'm not sure how to bring up the subject of sexual preferences.
"By the way, are you straight?"
Who says that?
Seriously?
I don't even know. I'm also worried that if I bring it up, even casually, she'll suspect something.
Maybe I want her to suspect something, I don't know. I'm really scared that if she finds out, it would ruin our friendship. Honestly, I really value it; we have a lot in common (especially liking anime), and none of my other friends like these things. It's really nice to have someone to yell internet memes and anime jokes at.
But I REALLY like her.
Advice?

...Also, if you're reading this (you know who you are), then feel free to talk to me about this.
Actually, please do. It's a lot better than now knowing.

Well I have this friend of mine who is a girl that I have admired for over a year now, we are friends but she doesn't know my intentions at all.
I asked her out once before when we were both freshmen in high school and didn't know anyone and she rejected me.
I have always thought she was the sweetest, kindest, and prettiest girl I knew.
Is there a way for me to tell her without it seeming weird or having her turn down my love?

>>42 HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO MEEE D:

>>42 I'm not too sure if i'm fit to give advice for a situation like yours (I'm a guy) but screw it. Just like anything else, I'd say just straight up ask her. How you'll word it is up to you, but if you just ask she'll have to answer. You said love doesn't really seem to be important to her but sometimes it's just under the skin, and you just have to excavate a little bit for it to surface. But you ask and the cat's out of the bag, and there's no turning back. Hope it works out. :D

>>43 Well, to be honest, asking a girl out after you already have is a bad idea at times, but on the other hand, persistence is a good tool. You said you were friends? Seeing this makes me assume you know each other fairly well. From this, I'd say you just have to find out whether or not she likes you back. That's your cue to ask her if she does, but you should probably move on if she says no. Tell her what you think of her and if she would give you a chance, of course, if she does like you. Just remember, if she does turn you down, don't get too angry. I know it's hard if you really like someone and they don't like you, but you can't let it get to you too much. But of course, I would assume you knew this since you're probably about the same age as I. Good luck, man.

So, I recently got over a break-up, but I still like him a lot. He feels I would be more happier with someone else and that he doesn't like me like that anymore. So it's basically a one-sided love thing.I'm trying to move on but it's taking me longer then usual. I can't even tell him how I feel because I'm scared of losing his friendship (I've tried twice already). He is a amazing guy and I truly do want him back but I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do or not. Please help I'm running out of options.

>>45 sounds like how my cousin is doing. Well, the only thing to do now is to be civil with him, and get your common friends to help you. Move, because if you do not, no progress will happen.

How should I go about getting over a guy that I never have had or ever will get the chance to date? Nothing has ever happened between us and I know nothing ever will so I just wanted to see what people suggest doing.

The problem is that he's my 2nd cousin. I know a lot of people are probably going to criticize me about saying this, but this is really the only place that I can say it. I do realize that I am in the wrong and the feelings I have are disgusting, but that doesn't change anything. I see him all the time because we hang out and I hang out with his mom, my 1st cousin, and I babysit his little brother. Nobody knows because I've been as discreet as I could be, but I can't just sit here at his house everyday and have these feelings. I fully understand that they are wrong and I know if anyone knew they would be disgusted, but I just don't understand why I can't get over this.

If anyone suggests trying to avoid him and not going to his house, that's not really going to be possible because we have to see each other really often for family gatherings and such. Actually I think it would be best if people were to say how disgusting these feelings are. Maybe then it would hit me that I can't do this and help me give up. I already sit here feeling guilty day after day. Sorry for all this text. Anyone have any ideas?

>>45

I had the same problem as yours about a year ago. I loved this amazing guy, but then suddenly he told me that he didn't feel the same way anymore. After over a year of being together pretty soon after our anniversary that's what he said to me. We were friends for a while, but the truth is you can't be friends with someone you like so much. I wanted him back so bad and I told him a few times after how I felt about him, but he wouldn't budge. The best thing to do is to get over him. It'll take some time and if you really did love him then there will be a lot of heartache and pain for a while, but you will get over it with some time. I know everyone says that to you when you go through a break up, but as I experienced the same thing you are I know it will work. It took me about half a year to get over him and I still am trying to completely get over him. I don't love him anymore, but I still get a little jealous when I see him with his new girlfriend. This guy, whoever he is, he is not going to be your last love and an even more amazing guy will come along. I'm sure of it. I hope I helped. Something else I suggest would be taking up another hobby, doing something that you enjoy to do or take up a show. It will give you something to do and you will enjoy it yourself.

>>47 It's not that disgusting. Granted, it is wrong, but it's just an attraction like anything else. I you were a guy and wanted to fuck your sister, it's wrong but it's guy and gal. Just like you're a girl and you like a guy. Nothing wrong with it except that he's your cousin. Best thing to do is to just completely forget him. Also, find someone else, who preferably isn't related to you. You go to school yes? Well if you've ever heard "plenty of fish in the sea", this would be considered an ocean filled with barrels of them. Good luck. ;)

>>47 Actually, in a fair amount of states it's legal to marry your first cousin, so in the eyes of the law, what you feel(felt?) isn't that bad. But if you personally feel like it's the wrong thing to do, I'd just try to stop thinking of him romantically altogether, maybe try and find another guy you think is attractive.

>>50 to add on, those that it is legal in I believe you have to sign a waiver or something saying you won't procreate

>>51 I think that's true in some states, but from what I can tell in others they don't care.
I looked up my state as an example (Maryland) and it looks like it's allowed even if couples want to procreate. I could be wrong but on the two sites I've checked it's allowed.

In other states, couples may have to go through genetic counseling or be a certain age.

I'm gay, I have a crush on a boy who I actually believe to be in love with. This would be my second love. Thing is, he's straight. He's okay with me being gay and all, but it's just that he will in no way like me back, and I'm afraid he's starting to suspect that I like him. Besides that, he's been a real douche of a friend lately...
I don't know what to do anymore. The obvious solution is to get over it, but it's not that simple, and he's unpredictable... It pisses me off...

I have a girlfriend that I've been dating for 5 months now and I feel as if I am truly in love with her.... See the problem is that she has been hanging out with one of her ex boyfriends who tries to be a better guy than me...
All he does is flirt with her even though he knows I'm dating her and she falls into it... He says that he wishes he had her and he can prove he'll be a better boyfriend.... I'm heartbroken by it because I confronted her about it (btw I learned this by reading her texts when she left the room) and she lied to my face.... I don't even know what to do now.... Can somebody please tell me what I should do??

>>53 You never know with a guy whether he's gay or not without asking. Or unless he starts to come onto you. Really, i'm not actually sure what to tell ya. Asking could result in either happily-ever-after, or him hating you for the rest of eternity, so this is a bit of a situation you have... Damn, my counseling skills are failing...

I like a few girls, my problem isn't choice, and I just don't know if I should even try. You see, I not so popular and I‘m sort of a geek. Any advice?

>>58 Well, if you're a geek, try not to be too pronounced. Like, don't throw everything you know about geeky stuff into peoples faces. They don't like it, trust me. Just talk to them and remember: Bitch = NOT WORTH IT. If a girl wont take her time to be kind, she doesn't deserve any of yours. If you ever get to liking one a lot, always be friends first. If you jump into a lake without checking if the waters cold, it won't be too fun, if you know what I mean. Seriously, i'm not popular in the least bit and I know how this works. Observing people's behaviors is what I do. That and social engineering. Good luck! :D

>>59 "Well, if you're a geek, try not to be too pronounced."
Are you kidding!? I do it on purpose to save time. If she doesn't get it, move on to the next. If SHE starts throwing the stuff STUFF at me? Deargodwherehaveyoubeenalltheseyears?

It's a much more efficient, highly-selective process.

Thanks for the advice Knives, but I already knew all of that. I want to know if I should even try. Is a relationship in highschool even worth haveing?

>>61 Tricky. See I debated about this myself, and in the end was glad that I didn't pursue anything longer than a year. There's nothing wrong with trying just to see what you have in common, but a great deal of highschool relationships fail miserably. Of course in "highschool relationships failing" I mean the ones that even manage to last longer than a few weeks. The big decision point is around graduation, where you're future lives can be deeply limited by your partner. Some decide to try it at a distance, which usually dissolves after a few years rather peacefully. Others try to go to the same school, making sacrifices in their future plans for the sake of attempting to preserve a relationship that often still doesn't make it to the end of the undergrad.

Tl;Dr Observe your priorities. Whether you're looking for a short-term ego-boost or someone to be with for years, any relationship will contain some form of effort. It's up to you to decide how this effort coincides with the rest of your life, to see if it's really worth doing.

Well put. I think I should, but I don't realy know how.

I like this girl. We talk once in a while but not enough to say we're friends. I don't know how to even begin to start a relationship with her, let alone make it last... We aren't in any of the same classes. She's also friends with both of my previous girlfriends (I don’t know if that's a problem or not) and I’m not 100% sure if she's straight. How should I even start to try to form a relationship?

>>61 :'( I'll just leave this one...

just gonna ask...is 16 too early for a gf?

>>67 Nope.

Im pretty short though and i always get the "OOOH YOUR SO CUUUTE" kinda treatment...so the question here is really how do i get a girl to act seriously of me?

>>69 Be yourself, be honest, and show her you care about her. How "short" are you?

180cm ish...T.T

5'10" is not short.

D: im the shortest in my year(10).

>>69 Is she taller than you?

Im a 14 yr. old girl who can't get a date. Never been asked out (by a boy my age) & won't ask anyone out bcuz they rnt interested in someone they think as a baby sister. the guys that do ask me out r pedophiles who just want to get me laid becuz they hate/ r against my mom & want 2 get back at her. and I'm talking 20&up. I'm not picky but I want my relationship 2 b legal so no one threatens my mom or my bf

>>75 Fourteen was a stupid age for me. It will probably be better if you wait a couple more years because relationships don't last long when you're that age. I went through the same old guy things. It's really stupid. I was really stupid. Just wait it out. When you get older you'll understand what I mean.

>>75 Don't worry about it. Once you start dating, halfway through your first or second boyfriend, you're just going to facepalm and go, "Why the fuck did I want to go out with a guy so bad..."

Go with the flow. When it's time, the right person will come along. It's not as big of a deal as it may feel to not have a boyfriend at your age.

>>75 14 is too young. And if any other women say you're a loser for being a virgin, just remember that they are sluts for losing theirs.

>>78 Fourteen isn't all that young. A lot of kids I know started "dating" much earlier. Thing is, that kind of dating generally isn't serious; it's just playing around and being dramatic.

>>74 yah they all are...

yeah if you wanna hear the truth the girl who is pure is the most disirable

>>42 Sorry for replying to something posted pretty long ago but if you're still following this thread and wondering how to ask her, maybe you could do it casually like "Is there anybody you're interested in?" Or something. Or you could try asking her what type of guy/person she likes. I'm a girl too and these sort of conversation is pretty normal among my friends though I usually don't really contribute much since I don't seem to be all that interested in anyone at all.. ''orz

oh also if guys say they dont like you cause your a virgin maybe you should look for a diffrent guy

just gona see if i can bump this

Bump because people fail to understand why this thread exists.

Yo, this thread is a thing.

Y'all may think your dating, relationship, and adolescent love problems are unique, but they really aren't

I say that not to be callous but because this is a rather common topic that should be discussed as such.

Why doesn't anybody use this thread? :l

>>86 This. If I see one more thread about your dating problems, I'll start bitching. I do not want this board to be filled with 8 post threads because you all think you're too special to go to a thread that's specifically for your problem.

There's a fucking dating thread???

Where the hell has it been all this time???

I made an entire thread for this problem, and now I feel really stupid for not knowing about this thread. >.< I did get some answers on my original thread, but I feel that I could get some more answers to my problem on this thread since it's more well-known. People that are also having a problem like this could also get a few answers too....anyways, here's my story.

I'm a 15 year old boy that plans on becoming a girl in the future. I enjoy crossdressing at home, but I'm still having trouble with my voice, so I've only went out once went out into public crossdressed. My friends told me that they noticed multiple guys check me out while we were out and that just brought me absolute joy. The thought that a guy thought I was a girl made me so happy. But whenever I dress normally as a guy, I still dress to impress girls. I assume I'm bisexual, but I'm not sure what gender I should pursue for a relationship at this moment. I want a relationship with a guy, but that would just be a homosexual relationship. (I have no hate on gays. I love them to death. One of my best friends is gay.) I specifically want to be with a straight guy, but I can't have that kind of relationship because I'm still a guy. And if I crossdressed and met a guy, it would be hard to keep everything in check. I mean, what if he wanted to have sex with me? I don't have breasts and I don't have a vagina. Either I would have to constantly deny what he wants to do or I could only give him oral and eventually that would get boring after doing it so many times! At the same time though, I wouldn't mind being with a girl and making her happy. All I have to do is just not tell her about who I am really am. Who I want to be with is really confusing because the girl inside of me wants to be with a boy, but the guy on the outside of me wants to be with a girl. I want a physical and emotional relationship with a straight guy, but at the same time I want the same kind of relationship with a girl! So my question to you all is, should I wait until I change to a girl, so I can be with a guy? Crossdress and be with a guy, but not be able to take it to a fuller extent? Should I just settle for a girl until I change to a girl? Or should I just not have a relationship with either gender?

>>89 It's been too far bumped down.

>>90 I, personally, think that you should stay your own gender and be bisexual. There is nothing wrong with being bisexual, and to be honest, you're more likely to be accepted than if you're transsexual. If you become a girl, go out with a straight guy, and then that guy finds out you used to be a guy, he'll more than likely be creeped out and dump you just for that reason. People are more used to the idea of bisexuals, and there are plenty of other bisexual/homosexual guys that seem like normally people. Not all of them act flamboyantly gay.

If you're really good at cross-dressing, then you can have more shallow relationships with that. Maybe you'll find some kinky guy that likes it :3

Just go with the flow. You'll find someone who loves you for you eventually. I'm sure there are plenty who will like you for what you are :O Personally, I think you sound kind of cool. I know a few straight and bisexual transvestites, and they're awesome people. There's no reason to spend thousands of dollars on getting your dick cut off, a vagina put in its place, your chest filled with rubber implants, and hormone treatments. Instead of trying to change yourself to make others like you, find people who like you as you naturally are :o

normal*

And I don't mean that they're not normal as an insult. I just mean that they stand out from a crowd. Gays and straights can blend fine in a crowd - until a flambouyant gay comes along with his bent wrist, small dog, and obvious strut. /shot

>>93 How'd u forget the "lisp"?

>>94 Yeah, but you don't notice that just from looking at them ;x

Oooh

Bumping

(Bump)

So I like this guy, right? He's in drama club with me, and he did spotlights for our last play. I even convinced him to audition for the spring musical with me. He's really cool, funny, and and a sweetheart. I can't stop thinking about him and I know I've got a major crush on him, and I'm almost sure he likes me, too.

The only issue is that he's a year older than me. I know this may not seem like a big deal, but we're still in high school, and most of my friends only date guys in our grade. I know that if he ever asked me out, I'd say yes in a heartbeat. But is this not a wise decision? I don't know what to do, or if it would be a bad idea to date someone older than me, even if he seems like a great guy. I would really appreciate any advice you guys may have. Thanks!

Don't worry Em! You don't have to be the same as your classroom.
If I can comment, my boyfriend is six years older than me, so the age doesn't matter.
Unless you are 15 years old and he is like 80 years old... I don't have any problems with that, but well, you'll see!

>>99 Like what Conejo says. Unless the difference between yours and his age is more than 2, you're fine!

Oh and Bump

bump because it should be used more by the common people on this board.

bump because >>103 this.

Bump. AGAIN.

BUMP DAMMIT!!!(Please start using this thread when you have a problem that is even semi-related to dating because it will help cut down on the number of useless threads on this board)

ANYWAYS. I'm here on behalf of my friend who came to me for help but I thought I would ask for suggestions from you guys. Lets call my friend E. A few months ago E fell for this one girl(lets call her K) and asked her out. Their "date" went great according to E. For some reason unknown to E and myself, K stopped talking to him right after the "date". This took a while for him to get over but he soon did. Meanwhile, this other friend who is a girl(lets call her L) was going out with a mutual friend of both E and myself(lets call him H). About a month ago L and H broke up for reasons that are irrelevant to this topic. E soon fell for L and was just about to ask L out when K started talking to him again. The problem here is he's attracted to K but has a deeper bond with L so he doesn't know who if either of them he should ask out. other problems are H may get mad at E for asking L out right after they broke up(it's very possible that he still has feelings for her), and E has no idea what he did to make K mad the first time so he has no idea what to do to fix it. Any suggestions or is this just something he's going to have to figure out on his own? I told him to ask K what he did to make her so mad so he can apologize and make up for it in some way; then once they build up their relationship again, ask her out because it's obvious to me he wants to be with her more than L. Do any of you disagree with any of that?

>>106 Thank you for actually recognizing the dating problems thread's purpose and giving it credit by posting your problem here. THANK YOU.

I think this is something he might have to figure out on his own. When it comes to choosing between two girls, I would just go with the one that's actually attracted to me, rather than the one that i'd have to start from scratch trying to make a new relationship with. But that's me.

I think he and "K" should try it again. Maybe he can find out what made her stop talking to him eventually. The only thing that can really be done is to wait and see.

>>107 ok, thanks.

hurmm,its just that if i have a crush or like someone it happen to be that he has engaged of taken --" hurmm,untill i always thing that i wouldnt want to see any boy anymore coz i afraid that this thing will happen again~

>>109 Well, sometimes it just takes a process of elimination. Some people have to go through 5 different people to find the right one, and some don't. But usually, it should be almost obvious that someone was engaged. Maybe not if they were just "taken" because there isn't much to denote that someone is in a relationship if that person is alone. Just keep swimming!

I have a girlfriend, and i love her. But today she wanted to break up with me because she thinks that i dont care about her. I do, i truly do, its just that im "Socially Awkward" to say the least. I want to show her i care, but im not very good at it. I'm very shy. But now that i have felt what its like to almost lose her, i'm willing to do anything to keep her. Does anyone have any advice as to how i can show that i care?

>>111 A bouquet of flowers really isn't a kind of thing that's needed here, so here's something better: I bet if you can tell her that it isn't easy for you to make a move, she would help you. Just make sure she knows whats going on with you so she doesn't get the impression that you don't care. Communication is key.

Good luck man, hope it turns out good! :)

>>112 Thanks, I'll do my best. I hope it turns out good too. I read what you posted. I can relate on a few things. Im also a Sophomore in Highschool. She also lives about 40 minutes away (We attend the same school so that isnt much of a problem) also, she is older than me. Older chicks huh? going after them cougars :D I appreciate your response, and i wish you the best of luck.

I have a problem with...well, guys in general. I spent my first years of dating age never being asked out at all and I was fine with it.

But then this year I've been asked out several times, and I was too nervous about actually being in some sort of relationship to ever say 'yes'.

It's driving me nuts because I'm a never-been-kissed 17 year old who needs more life experience.

>>113 Thanks.

>>114 Well, is one of the guys that asked you out someone who you think might be worth a try? I can't take you through step-by-step, but after you pick a date and the date and time of that date, it usually just goes from there.

You just have to put yourself out there and do some experimenting. If you find a nice, not-a-total-asshole guy like me, then success. Hopefully there are enough nice guys so that you can find the one for you. Obviously, if a guy puts you in a situation you don't like, tell him. I'm guessing you're not to into the whole domestic abuse thing, so just a heads up: Assholes are everywhere.

Hell, i'd probably ask you out if I knew you at all, and if I didn't already have someone I like.

When it all boils down, just go with who you like. And if you're having a tough time, just do what you think you should.

Good luck and have a good time!

My problem is....I just can't tell when guys like me, so I think they like me, and I don't wanna make an ass out of myself trying to confront them...So I wait for them, which pretty much becomes nothing, or I get friend zoned, it's just not fair....I try to flirt with the guys I like, but I am so oblivious to everything that it just turns out to be a problem....

Well, frankly, where do I start?
There's this guy I've liked for about a year and a half and at one stage, we got really really close until he just told me that he couldn't like me in that way anymore. I was fine with it and moved on, remaining good friends with him all the same, until a few months later he confronted me at a party and kissed me. My feelings flooded back, but basically, he's stuffed up in the head and doesn't have a clue what he wants relationship wise and so every time we get close again, he'll end it until the next time. I really like him, but I don't have a clue what to do...

(I have no idea where to put this so I came here because of the slight connection and I don't feel like its big enough for a whole thread.) I've always been a person who doesn't rely on others for support. There's no one on my street near my age, all my friends live far away from me(most aren't very good friends to begin with) and most of my family(except my grandma(who I live with)) are 1/2 way across the country. I've also had my share of tragedies, rotten friends, and bad relationships. My friends are starting to say that I'm acting sad, glum, gloomy, etc. and it drags them down with me. Some think I'm depressed and others just think I’m a sad person in general. I've grown apart from most of my friends but still talk to them. I've told a few of them about this girl I like. We're complete opposites, but I guess that's why I like her. She's funny, adventurous, smart, kind, and an overall good person. All of my friends are saying I should ask her out because they think it'll make me happy. I agree that she will make me happy for about 2 months but then I’ll just degrade back to who I am now probably bringing her down with me. That's even if she says yes (which is about a 25% chance in my eyes for many reasons). I see this idea as setting myself up for failure but I have lost most of the things that make me “happy” so I don’t really have much to lose. I guess I’m asking if I should take a gamble and ask her or not?

Bump

>>117 Wait for him to make up his mind. But not for too long. If he really likes you, he'll be quick. Give him a chance, but if you deem it that he took to long, end it.

I want to find a romantic partner but I have problems trusting people... as well as talking to women. Yeah, kind of typical nervious, shy bullshit but it's true. I get nervous talking to girls cause I want to say the right thing but I stumble on my words and sound stupid. Even besides that, I can't help but feel most people are just fake.

I miss cuddling and being cutesy and stuff.

>>122 First, cut it out with the "I'm not worthy of the lord" crap. There is no reason to be something that you aren't, especially if it's for another person. If you aren't worthy of such a lord, then surely said lord isn't worthy of judging you.

Second, maybe you're right. Maybe no one really knows what it's like to be you. But that's just it: no one else is you. You shouldn't feel down on yourself just because no one else around you is depressed. Talk to people. Your family, any friends you may have, hell, even maybe a counselor at your school. Once you talk about your feelings, you'll feel better. And if all you can do is put on a fake smile, do that. Whatever it takes for you to keep from taking your life. There just isn't need for things like that. Just try and find one single thing in your life that you like and hold on. Maybe you'll find something that makes everything suck a little less. The world, and life, aren't as bad as you may just think.

Third, you shouldn't let people judge you for being fat or ugly. A guy should not be granted the right of having balls if he can't see a girl for who she is. A guy who can see past all the superficial bullshit and understand and respect a girl for her personality is the kind of guy that deserves genitalia. And odds are, someone might just have a big crush on you.

Just know that living in an emotional hole is not a good way to live. Even if you can't climb all the way out, just hang onto the opening and maybe someone will be nice enough to grab your hand and pull you up. When such a thing happens, make sure to fill that hole up to the tippy-top. That's the kind of "prince charming" you were talking about.

Good luck and try to be happy no matter wherever you are.

Oh, and Fourth, not that it really matters but a little grammar checking never hurt anyone.

BUMP

You see, I go to her house once or twice a week.. She's very unique.. For example, people told me that: If your lover is mad at you or something, explain in persona, Face to face.. But, she's different.. She's bored with me but she still Loves me dearly
( she told me that ) yesterday, I went to her house.. She wasn't home yet, then suddenly.. I text her, " Hey, I'm here in front of your house " she replied: What, I told you didn't I?! I don't want to see you for now, Can't you understand?! I'm bored with you, I'm used to you.. She's very VERY Unique, you can't find answers on the net about a girl like this.. We've been going out for a year already, we're both 16.. There are times that this happens, but.. This is the worst so far.. I don't want to lose her, Should I Give her some space?

Hey, FLYINGKNIVES.. or,Furai - Kun.. I hate you, but.. Your Advice, they're all perfectly intact.. Ehehehehe..

And, My House is very far from hers.. But, I go there once or twice a week.. Even though I am a busy student, I always put her first because, I know can finish my studies easily.. We only text everyday, but.. Unlike before: We used to text the whole day, talk about random things, but now.. I only get 3 - 6 text messages if she's IN THE MOOD!

>>127 Y U HATE ME?

>>126 Yeah, just give her space. If that's what she wants, then allow her that. And when she gets bored of being away from you, if she loves you as much as you say, then she'll come back. :D

er i had a somewhat..forced confession a few days ago and we talked..yeah i won't add in the details but he said that if he could choose anyone to love it'd be me but he wasn't ready for love yet. I don't know if he's asking me to wait until he is ready or its just a simple rejection.

Sorry me again, last year was a complicated year in terms of dating and things like that, so i thought that this year i would focus on studies and things like that but my love life isn't exactly under my control. I can't exactly go and stop talking to boys, most of my close friends are guys. I've always dreamt of an actual good relationship, not like the one i had where both of us didn't really have our hearts in it.

I don't understand a lot of things. Like above, i don't know if i should move on over this guy i liked for a long time already, i don't know if i should try for another relationship if i move on because i want the actual thing, the cuddling and the dating and the holding hands and the buzz of happiness being with your boyfriend gives you. But this year i really should concentrate more on school, should i just take a break from all this love and dating kind of thing?

so i go to a college and saw this girl in one class last semester. i'm only interested in her until we were in one group for an activity and i developed feelings for her. right now i only meet her once in awhile in were not really close to each other so its kind of awkward for me to say hello when she pass by. what should i do? i want her to at least know that i exist, and talking to her casually.

by the way this girl is tomboyish,i heard that she likes a band and that she wants to learn drums, and by the way i think she is cooler than me. i too like music but only japanese ones while she like those western music. i know piano and bass so maybe if i talk to her about music i can maybe relate.

anyway if by any chance of seeing her what should i do? i tend to freeze and continue walking without even saying hello. do i have a chance?

>>132 I think this is really something you can figure on your own. If you feel like you need to focus on your studies, so be it. But just as well, you will probably still just continue to really want a relationship.

If this guy you're talking about is the one you truly want to be with, snatch him up as quick as you can. You sound fairly smart, so I believe you can make the right decision.

Good luck! :D

yeah i know as for 'snatching him up' er. I already confessed to him. 3 times. But he's not really the type to make it crystal clear 'Sorry, move on'. I mean like i said in er 131? I don't know if i should wait for him to be ready for a relationship, or if I really should just move on. i've already made the goal to concentrate entirely on studies so i'm not about to go out hunting for love and boys but sometimes i don't have to, things just happen as life goes along and i end up with this big mess.

>>135 Well, I'm just saying, if you think it wise to wait for him, do it. Either way, you can focus on your studies.

bump, just in case.

I've been dating this guy for 3 months, and he's part of our group of friends. I want to break up with him, but I'm not sure how to do it without being a bitch. It's especially important to me that our friends don't pick sides and blow it out of proportion, and I don't want to hurt him, though I understand that all breakups hurt.

The reason I want to end things between us is because even though he's 2 years older than me (high school senior), I still feel he's more immature than me. I also feel that ever since we started going out, it's been a very day in, day out routine for me and I'm starting to feel hopeless. I'm not sure if it's because of him, or something like depression.

Is this a good reason to break up with somebody, and how should I go about doing it (other than the obvious like doing it face to face, not in a very public place, etc.)?

>>138 If you try to break up with him on Facebook or by texting, you'll come off like a bitch. You don't seem to want to do it face-to-face, but it may be the best way. Just talk to him calmly and tell him the reasons you want to break up with him, and all of the reasons. Communication is key when it comes to this.

If a girl broke up with me and didn't tell me why, I'd be pretty ticked. If you want this guy to still be on good terms with you when it's over, don't leave him misinformed. I'm sorry to say, but you're probably going to need to talk to face-to-face.

Good luck! :D

My Girlfriends friends are 90% boys, and I can't help but get jealous.. Should I be jealous?

>>140
I don't think you should get jealous but be quite wary and maybe make it clear that they are to keep their hands off. ^^ maybe not in such a macho way but make it clear. It's kinda hard for a guy and girl to stay completely platonic friends without one or the other having feelings for each other so just keep up the trust between you and your girlfriend, talk tons and keep your guard up around the guy friends ^^

>>140 It's hard to just stop being jealous if you're a naturally jealous person, but try not to be jealous or suspicious of your girlfriend. To be with someone, you have to trust them. If you care about your girlfriend, just try to trust her not to cheat on you with any of those guys! A lot of girls have guy friends that are just platonic friends, so unless you notice that they maybe treat her differently than other girls, don't be so worried about it.

Why can't my girlfriend understand that?
Today, I didn't bring my phone with me.. My Parents brought me to my cousin to get checked up, I'm 16 and I'm sick.. I forgot to bring my phone because I have an extremely painful head ache and I feel very very weak.. When I got home, ( I've been gone for 9 Hours ) I checked my phone, 7 Missed Calls and 22 Messages.. She was Mad, She was angry,, Very very much.. But, why can't she understand this.. I messaged her, I told you.. I'm sick.. She keeps on saying, Why didn't you bring your phone with ya? If you don't want to talk anymore, Fine!
And now, she isn't replying anymore.. What should I do?!

>>143 tell her that you had a bad headache, and where really tired so it simply slipped your mind and by the time you noticed, you where all the way there. It wouldn't hurt to add in you were thinking about her the whole time, and promise her you will do everything in your power to make sure it doesn't happen again. by the way, if she flips out about you forgetting your phone, can't understand that you really felt like crap and your phone wasn't on the top of your priority list, then she may not be the best person to date. But i don't know her so I may be very wrong.

Bump

A friend of mine asked me out today, and I don't know if I like him or not. I've never dated before, so I don't know how this works. I've may have had a small crush on him before, but it's not as strong anymore. I really need advice on this.

You need to be honest with him, tell him you're not sure about your feelings but you may be willing to try dating? (that is, if you are willing ._. )

Bump because it is usefull

I'm not sure if this goes here...

When I lived at my step moms I got close to my step brother. We got to good friends status and we liked to hang out a lot. When I moved we texted and called daily for at least a month, and then it went weekly. Now that we've been apart for a while, I look back on my actions with him and I think he took my friendliness as something else... I do admit, cuz we had just met and he was my step bro and because he's a dunce, I liked teasing him, but I wouldn't call it flirting...

Anyway, now, for the past couple months I've been avoiding him like the plague because I don't want to out right tell him "Yo! ___, ur creepin me out bro." I mean, what if I did lead him on? It's my fault yeah? But we've already established (yes..we actually talked about it) that in this part of the world, step sibling relationships are incest, so what does he want? Is he just being kind in his way of constantly wanting me to keep in contact with him?
It's so awkward now... I don't even wanna see this dude ever again..

I really like this guy and I think he likes me back. The problem? My mom would flip because he's older than me by almost three years. I'm 18, so it's not a legal problem, but it's extremely hard for me to do anything that my mother disapproves of. We share a lot of the same interests, but can't hang out much because of my mom so most of our contact is electronic.

Can I get some advice?

>>150
It really depends on what he sends you over the phone. If it seems like he's coming off in a flirting kind of way, just give him another heads up that what he's doing is wrong and be honest about it. If he's just being brotherly like but you still want some time off, just be honest (again).

>>151
Technically most (if not all) relationship problems boils down to being honest. No matter what you tell you parents, they will deny and say no because youre their little princess and they treasure you the most in their life. Yes, most parents are bad at communicating with their kids these day and age so they may babble some nonsense and will flat out say no. If this is just a fling, might as well just keep it in the low. If it gets serious, only time will uncover the truth.

I am in love with a guy called Utku. He used to like a girl called Sude who is the bad girl type. I mean the girly girl type -.-"

Well, Utku used to like Sude and she rejected him by avoiding him. Actually at that time she never cared what happened to people other than her follower friends -.-"

Utku has been in my school for 2 years. Actually he had a manga serie and I read it from him. And I started to like him but he still liked Sude at that time. He was in a different class than me, the same class as Sude.

He forgot her and a year passed. This year I'm in the same class as Sude. I am in love with him now even tough he rejected me a few months ago.

Sude likes him now, he doesnt like anyone but he will definietly accept Sude. But Sude finds stupid to ask out guys so she wont ask out him but he can. Because she is always around him.

Tomarrow is his birthday (5th of February, Tuesday) he isnt celebrating it and the school is on a break. I cant go out and I can only call him to say happy birthday. Sude doesnt know that its Utku's birthday tomarrow.

And he has been avoiding my messages both on Facebook and sms. He says that his phone was broken but he send an email to my friend.

Should I give up? What should I do? What should I say when I phone him? I dont want to give up and let Sude win...

Well our relationship with him is like "Good morning, See you tomarrow, which episode are you in Naruto?" etc.

If I ask him to be my friend will he reject it?

Please someone, answer xd

His birthday passed but what should i do about the girl?

So. I'm dating someone. And this is his first time, he like don't know what to do with it and---should I take the lead or something? or should I just say what I want?
And then... I kinda think this relationship didn't work so well because when we're alone there will be an awkward silence, we still talk, though.
and the one thing. he said he's lazy to go to my house because he don't know exactly where it is.
...My mother said I can't go out with him if she didn't met him and... ;;;

(sorry, would have responded earlier but i've been busy lately)
>>153 and >>154. If he rejected you a few months ago, I doubt he will say yes now. The best thing to do is to expand on the relationship you have now slowly. I couldn't exactly see Utoku asking Sude again after he was rejected once and by now, he has probably gotten over her unless he's completely obsessed, in which case you should probably keep your relationship at friend level. At this point, there isn't much you can do.

>>155 Just say what you want. If it didn't work so well, attempt to fix the relationship unless you think it's a lost cause, in which case you should tell him that and break up. If he actually didn't know where you lived, I would understand his logic(coming from a guy). But if you told him where you lived and how to get there, it is inexcusable depending on how far away you live from him, if he can drive, and the time of day you asked. As for your mom, you don't have to tell her you're dating... Just say you're friends. Not like she can ban you from seeing him.

I have liked this guy (We'll call him Bob.) for a year and a half. We've dated before, and we're back together now.
Thing is, I'm moving out of state, so we've agreed to date until then, assuming we last that long. It doesn't bother me much; long distance has never worked well for either of us. Now, with our agreement, he made another agreement with this other girl (who we will call Jenny). He likes both of us, but she is not moving. He's agreed with her that he will wait till I move, and then get with her.

But the issue is that, even though we are dating, he still talks about this other girl like she's been sent from heaven for him. He says that our relationship, however temporary it may be, is still not to be taken lightly.

But even so, there is the other girl. I really want to stay with him as long as possible, because I know he likes me, and I like him. Advice please?

>>156, thanks. You lightened up my mood. I will try to be his friend, thank you :)

Ok, I've got one for you. I'm in one of those types of relationships in which I like a girl but it always seems like she's with another guy. When she isn't, she's at that whole "breakup" stage in which I say to myself, "just give some time to grieve" but before I realize it, she has a new boyfriend if not the same one. I've liked this girl since the beginning of high school and I really want to go out with her. I'm a senior now so I won't be able to see again due to college. Any advice?

>>157

He's probably saying it in the hopes you get jealous. It's difficult to show affection over long distances, so he's looking for reassurance that your still in love & passionate. Don't get angry just focus on telling him how much you care

If you miss this opportunity he'll keep drifting away. So do you want him to stay w/ you?

>>159
If she breaks up with her new bf (if she has one right now), take the opportunity. I won't say to try to break them up but, don't miss your chance. Instead of immediately asking her out, or not doing anything, do something in-between. Tell her how you feel and that when she's ready, and if she feels the same, that you would like to give it a try.

bump

bump

';ljy

bump

I have a problem with this junior on my bus. One day he just randomly sat next to me and striked up conversation. He was very friendly and nice and after a couple days we exchanged phone numbers.

The only problem is I don't have the guts to tell him to leave me alone now. Its been a week and I'm already panicking before school fretting to have to sit next to him. He saves me seats and I think it would be rude of me to pass them up. He has a way of getting under my skin and either annoying the hell out of me, or making me feel even more guilty than I already do on a daily basis.

I'll have to be on the bus every day with this guy for two more years, and I'm freaking out. I told him I'm not looking for a boyfriend, but he obviously is ignoring that. I also really don't want to be mean to him and have an enemy or someone I need to avoid.

Any advice?

bump

bump

I’ve been going out with my current boyfriend for about 10 months now. We’re both in university, and we’ve had our fair share of bumps along the way, but we usually are able to communicate through it. He has a friend that he has had for a couple of years, and at the beginning of our relationship he considered her his best friend. When we started going out they drifted apart a bit due to the fact that we were clingy and wanted to spend all our time together. After about 3 months we did start to cool down. Around this time it was my boyfriend’s birthday, and at his party was the first time I had seen him, all of his friends, and alcohol mix. It was quite traumatic for me, as it was the first time I had seen him drunk and I didn’t know any of his friends. Skipping the details and to the end: he regretted and was embarrassed about what happened that night, and it was also the start of my hate and jealousy towards his ‘best friend’.

As we started to see outside friends more often, I discovered just how buddy buddy he and his friend were together. There was a lot of play fighting and sexual jokes, and I very quickly began to dislike how close and physical their relationship was. I told him about my insecurities and jealousy, but he stated clearly that it was how their relationship was before I came into the picture, so he wasn’t going to change. I could see his point of view, but as a result I have never been able to like her, and I have only become more and more insecure.

Later on in our relationship, I was shocked to discover that he had had a crush on her soon after they first met. He had confessed, and she declined. After he had ‘gotten over it’ they started to become close friends, and from what I’ve heard, they mainly discussed sexual topics. I’ve heard people say boys and girls can’t just be friends, and on more than one occasion in the past I have questioned if he had really gotten over her.

Over the last couple of months she has been busy with work so we haven’t been in many social situations together recently, and I had forgotten that the issue existed. However, it was two days ago that this issue and my insecurities came back all of a sudden. My boyfriend and I share our phone and computer passwords out of convenience and trust. I was on his computer, and I went into his history to find a site I had used the day before. Here I found a lot of "recreational websites" he had used recently (He doesn’t use incognito mode for whatever reason, but instead deletes his history every week or so). I wasn’t particularly bothered by that; the Internet is for porn, right? What I did see however, right in the middle of a porn browsing session, he had gone to his best friend’s Facebook page and looked through a large amount of her photos. I didn't even know how to react. I tried to assure myself that it was just a coincidence, I looked at date and time stamps to see if there was another other possible situation where he would look at porn and her pictures, but I couldn't make up anything. I couldn't help myself, and I looked through the rest of his browser history, and there was one more occasion where the same thing had happened. There was less than a week of history since he last cleared it, and if my suspicions were correct, how long had it been going on for?

I haven’t brought this up with him yet, because I feel like I was in the wrong by invading his privacy and going through his history. Also, how do I bring this up? “Hey, are you attracted to your best friend have sexual fantasies about her?” Ha. I want to ease into the topic, but I don’t see how. Also, I am scared that my fears are true. Say he is sexual attracted to her, is that being dishonest? Is it completely okay? Where is the line drawn? What about having fantasies about other women in general? Porn? I have never thought about these things before since I have never been so insecure.

There are lots of things I missed out but this is already quite a large wall of text. Sorry for spelling, etc. Now, whut do?

>>169 Holy Shit.
Well.. this definitely has to be talked about. No. This isn't okay. Or normal. Because it's not a pornstar in hollywood. It's his best. Fucking. Friend.

You gotta tell him how you have reasons to believe that he isn't over her and you should both take a break. I'm sorry. I know you want to keep him, but it will only lead to heartbreak if you ignore this. If he fights against the idea of "taking a break", tell him what you found. If he gets angry, it's because it's true. He isn't over her yet. If he's more dumbfounded or finds it all amusing, then.. naw. There's no way that shit is "just a coincidence".

>>169 so.. just so ive got this right, because he allegedly is fapping to his lady friends pictures, youre deciding he is an untrustworthy person? That really doesnt seem like something you really need to be treating at this level. The place where i think you should draw the line is him actually cheating on you in some way shape or form, which I really dont think this counts as.

>>171

Are you serious? I personally think its fucked.

>>169 the hard part would be proving it, like getting him to own up to it, but it could possibly just be a coinincidence, I think, its up to you :) do you trust him? do you love him? and do you think that he is worth the trouble? those are what you should ask yourself, and truly think about the answers, dont act to rashly think about it, clear your head and make a judgement that you wont regret, if you break up or if he was cheating or ect. it will hurt, but you will live to love again ya know? Hope I've helped.

>>169 You need to accept that he wants her. That's it. Break up with him.

>>170 This really isn't that bad. And yeah, it's pretty normal I'd say.

>>171 You know he wants to.

>>172 It's not fucked. Also, proving it... There's plenty of evidence.

>>174>>173 how did you manage to double post with a 8 minute difference, is the site really being that laggy?

>>174 no no, that's not what I mean. People watch porn as material for their own fantasies, I'm sure. What's not normal is that his gf isn't the one he's fantasizing about.
Break up with him now before he cheats on you, cuz if he doesn't have the guts to admit the major hard he has for his best friend, he won't ever admit it to anyone else and just keep pining for her unconsciously, which can seriously lead to bad news.

>>171 The reason I even posted this was because I’m not okay with this. Other people may be in a similar situation and not care, but since I care, this is an issue. What if we’re having sex and he is fantasising that I’m her? I probably won’t be able to get proof of this, but if it was happening would that be okay? I don’t think so. Surely the line is not drawn at cheating. However, if this is all just a big coincidence and I was making out that everything to be worse than it really is, then yes, no issue here. And I really hope that is the case.

>>170>>172 I do love him, and I trust that if I bring this up he will tell me the truth. Even so, I do wish that I could get a screenshot of the said incident, but it’s likely that next time I get a chance to it’d be deleted. If my suspicions are true, I’ve thought about it, and I don’t think I could be with him knowing that he likes her in that way. I do still love him, but I don’t know how I’ll be able to live with myself leaving it as it is. Some things will need to be done for us to last. The main reason I don’t want to ask is to avoid a possible break up. I don’t think he will ever cheat on me, but I do think if this is left alone it’ll just get worse.

>>174 To me, the next step is to confirm for sure that this is what is happening. I still want to believe that it was a coincidence, but I will never know for sure unless I ask him. I think >>170 is right about taking a break as opposed to straight out breaking up. He can think about who he really wants to be with, and maybe he will choose me over her. For all I know, this could stem from other problems in our relationship. Maybe I’m not giving him enough attention? Maybe he’s not happy with our current sex life? I don’t think we’re at the end of the road yet, but we could be well on our way.


Anyway, he’ll be coming over tonight, and he knows I have something I want to discuss with him. Hopefully I’ll be able to man up and tell him about it. I’ll be able to update in a day or so about what conclusions we come to...

Please do update when you can. I wish you the best of luck in this awkward conversation. =) >>177

>>166

Well, maybe he isn't trying to get you into a relationship. Friends save each other seats on the bus. And if dismantling you then maybe you should just talk to him about it. We males treat each other poorly most of the time, and at times we can get a little out of hand and not know that we are hurting you. And he may seem a little reluctant to talk, so don't make him. him Just explain to him, then change the subject and to back to having fun. That is the way to talk to guys. Make jokes while still getting the point across and providing valid examples.

My turn.
I'm taking a girl I just about hate to the military ball.
The only reason I don't like her is because she is a hypocrite.
And I really don't like hypocrites...
Anyway. She bitched to me for 3 weeks straight about how stupid relationships are. So for some reason she ask to go with me when I was looking for a date to this ball. Now she is dating an old friend who graduated our freshman year. And I'm like, "what the fuck?"
Anyway. I'm beginning to feel awkward because all my friends start talking about their dates while I read and draw manga.
I'm tall skinny and nice to women. Why the hell am I the only guy without a girlfriend?

well kylor sometimes girls are to shy to ask you out it took me a vary long to to ask out a guy because i was too shy and in one of my friends had to do it for me xD
there mostlike is a girl that likes you. she might be shy though.

so ive been dating this guy for about 5 months. he asked me out because it was his last year in CA. his parents are divorced and he'll have to move half way across the country. and he moves in the summer around july.
but now im starting to regret to have said yes.
he dosnt have a bad atitude or any of that will make me want to break up with him in that way. but i feel like i dont love him anymore like i did before.
ive never broken up with a guy before so how do i break up with him with out hurting him.

>>182 it's not impossible but it's not going to be an easy thing. Break ups suck and someone always gets hurt. It's going to be hard, be strong. People recover though. So in the end it'll be okay.

>>175 Indeed it was, sir. I didn't know what the hell was going on.

>>176 Well that's not really normal or strange either one so much as it is that he just wants to cheat because he's a douche.

>>177 Honestly, if he would choose you, he wouldn't be doing this shit in the first place.

It means he wants to cheat?? >>184
I didn't know that. I just thought he liked his cuurrent gf but he'd like to have a chance at...fucking..the other girl.. oh wait that is wanting to cheat.

So.. because he wants to fuck someone, he wants to cheat? I seriously do not see how theyre connected. Its like saying because I want more money I want to rob a bank.

I’m back with an update from >>177

I did manage to man up and tell him about what I had found. The way he acted at first made me think that he was guilty: he couldn’t give me a straight answer, and he was quite flustered. I thought this meant that he had done it, and I was distraught and dreading about what would happen next. He asked me to calm down so we could talk about it, and he told me that he honestly didn’t do it with those sorts of intentions, and he couldn’t even remember the incident because it didn’t register as something significant in him mind. He vaguely remembered that he was distracted sometime after he had only just started his ‘session’. He told me he got a notification from Facebook that had something to do with her, and the reason he went to her pictures wasn’t to look at her to fap, but out of interest of an album of a particular event, forgot about it, and went back to business. At this point I still didn’t believe him because of his earlier reaction, and also because he guessed it was a chat message from her that disrupted him, but none of the dates matched up. He told me he was still convinced that it was some sort of notification and his phone had beeped to notify him, which is what distracted him. To be honest all of this still hadn’t convinced me, since there was no proof yet. He said that the next time he gets onto his computer we could check the date and time and we will find the notification that distracted him. I would be happy to believe him if I had this sort of proof, so I began to calm down a bit at this point.

What he told me next didn’t have anything to do with this singular event, but it is what has made me believe that he doesn’t feel anything for her. Even though in the past he had told me he wouldn’t give up this friend, he had realised how much she had be hurting me, and had been making an effort to distance himself from her. I thought it was because of work that we hadn’t seen her recently, but he told me many examples of times where he could have spent time with her, but had always chosen not to. He said she doesn’t even make his top 3 friends anymore. Even though I didn’t have proof of the Facebook notification yet, it just didn’t make sense that he would want to cheat on me with her, but avoid her (for my sake) at the same time.

So, at this point in time I believed what he told me, but I won’t lie, I still had some small doubts. I was hopefully that we could go through his history and find the notification which would have given him an alternative reason to be in that neighbourhood of the Internet, but he deleted his history before I told him about all of this. I looked into ways of restoring deleted history, but he didn’t have recent system backups, and he used Chrome (from what I can tell Chrome history is stored as a temp files so once it’s gone you can’t use index.dat or sqlite to find it again). Even though I think it is a bit weird that he had the motivation to go through her pictures during that time, I believe him, and stretching out this issue any further can only cause more harm.

There were lots of other small things that he said that also helped convince me, but I didn’t see the need to outline them all. In the end he was a bit upset that I suspected him of this, but he could also understand why I felt this way due to the circumstances. Well, I guess that’s basically the end of the issue. It was pretty emotionally draining and I’m glad that it’s over.

>>186
The majority of people who want money don’t rob banks, but there is that small group of people who do.
Also, my boyfriend has told me that he could never have sex with someone for the sake of it (prostitutes, etc), and that there has to be some deeper feelings involved for him to want to do it. His physical craving for sex with someone else wasn’t the only thing I was worried about at the time: if he wanted sex he would have also had to have feelings for her. It may have never lead to cheating (and knowing him, he never would) but he probably would have ended up leaving me for her if he had those feelings. Something that would break up a relationship seems like a ‘dating problem’ to me.

>>187 glad things worked out well for you. :) Hold on tight to that one.

So I really like this guy but he has a girlfriend and I respect that because I'm a mutaure person. but he's always trying and finding a way to get close to me. I want to tell his girlfriend but I don't know who she is. And I've told him once or twice to stop but he won't. Anyone have sugestions for me?

>>189 hmm, i've never encounter such situation, so, i can't help much. why don't say something that can make him snap out of it ?

hey,, i really need your opinion..
i am currently on a two month (language) course. and i fell in like with a 40 years old man who appears to be my own teacher..he is unmarried and lives alone in my country for 10 years now. well, for me, he is handsome and cute..sometimes i did get my hopes up over the small things he did..i did remind myself not to get my hopes up..since it is a one sided thing.i am sure that if i am ever given the chance to love him,i would love him irrevocably. so, i plan to try my luck next week's friday (since it is my last day there). however, my aunty also works there and both of them are quite close.. i am afraid that she would think badly of me or i would crush her high hopes of me..so, please tell me what to do... should i make the move or not?? btw, i'm 18. i've asked my friends' opinion and now i want to know yours...in my country, such relationship is viewed badly.. i'm stuck...what should i do?? my friends said to just wait for prince charming,,but that is just a plain stupid fairy tale.

I have had this Guy friend ever since kindergarten. We are also neighbors. We really liked each other back then (although he liked me more than i liked him), so we started "dating" until 6th grade...I kinda told him i liked someone else and we "broke up". I say it in quotes cuz we were just kids. We did kiss, but it was just a peck on the lips. Anyway, man did i fuck up. We are now in high school and I think i love him....not just like love. But i cant really tell if he feels anything back. I confessed my love to him 2-3 times, but he said i "broke his heart" but we are still like best friends. I go to his house like everyday and we are REALLY close, to outsiders, it would look like we are dating, but we arnt. I really like him, and even though i broke his heart, he broke mine many times as well, so i dont even know. The way he asks is just soo......mixed. What should i think/do?

193<< GOD HATES YOU AND YOUR FAG FRIEND YOUR BOTH GOING TO HELL AND I HOPE YOU BOTH ROT.

>>195....well thats kinda mean

Ignore him. >>197
But is this an actual same sex relationship? Because ghff hating on you makes no fucking sense uunless he knows that you're a guy too.

>>198 NO! im a girl and he is a guy!!!!! ^^; srry if that wasnt clear haha

I thought so. Usually homosexuals that have dating problems on here let you know that their relationship is a same sex one. Who knows why ghf went off on you like that, he/she is such a moron.

Well thanx X] maybe he is a troll?

>>201 no duh..

Bump because it needs to be recognized.

I shall bump

>>193 I'm not sure that I get the problem. You asked him if you guys could be together again, and he said no?

>>205 well at first he said hell think about it then he never answers, but we are together everyday.

the only problem i have is there's not alot of girls who want to date a no job, no car, nerd, musician, college student

>>207 i would XD

>>207 Well, if you make music for girls they'll probably start running for you.

>>209 i highly doubt that

>>208 i don't know if your joking

I'm 16 and never had a girlfriend. I'm not socially awkward or anything, It's just that after being turned down multiple times, I gave up. I've got a crush on one of the girl in my year, but I don't know what to do. She's one of my best friends and I'm not sure if she likes me or not, and I don't want to make things awkward between us. What do I do?

>>212 No need for worry mostmodest, i'm sure it's not a sign that your fated to have no luck with the ladies xD
They probably just weren't compatible personality wise? and if it wasn't like that, then they might have just been to stereotypical/judgemental and aren't really worth your time if thats the case. In the case of having a crush on your bestfriend, really try to know what things she likes. If your worried about making things awkward, subtly do sweet things for her when you can. even if you're already best friends, build it up even more if you can, if shes not interested she'll probably tell you shes un-comfortable and you can surely still continue to be friends if she isn't right?

If you're the impatient kind of person... well, to be honest, i wouldn't know what to tell you, if you really love her then you need to be patient with that kind of thing. Girls i know all don't like to be rushed in relationships unless they're easy.


I hope things work out for you and i'm sorry if i wasn't very helpful. :D Good luck nonetheless!

how do i get a guy to notice me/like me i really like this guy that transfers to my school a week ago but every time i try to talk to him i just freeze up and i pretend i was about to talk to my other friend that sits behind him.

there, that's your problem..
brave yourself and just start a conversation with him.
even it is just a quick..chat/talk/whatever, just go and talk to him. u can do it!

>>213
Today I gave her a cheesy invite to the formal (the whole "will you be my date? Tick a box" where both boxes said yes) she said she'd think about it, so I'll see what happens. I hope I haven't scared her off... :P

bump

There's this girl in my hrade that I'm friends with but i can never figure out what's running trough her brain. We skype about every night but at school she usually tapks and hangs around two other guys and pretty much ignores me.

Sry i spelled grade, through, and talks

Wrong

Ok, i like this guy, hes totally quiet, resirved, introvrsal guy, always is in dark cloths, alot of girls lik him, he doesnt talk to anyone. except me. weve been talking since school started and ive come to realize how sweet, funny and totally stupid he is. i started falling for him and hes smiling alot now! everyone is noticing as well. i wanna tell him but im afraid, i dont wanna fuck up our friendship. all my friends say i should, that i should make the first move , but my aunt is telling me i shouldnt, that my firends r jut to to get a good laugh outta it.. now im stressed wit wat to do.. i need help, should i tell him or not? (ps ima girl)

>>221

Dont tell him until the right time. For now, just be yourself and try not to make him notice. I once had the same problem and now our friendship is totally fucked up.
If you think it is the right time and you cant hold yourself from saying I love you tell him this with a BRAVE voice;
"I want to tell you soething very very important. We've been friends since the school started and I dont want to ruin our friendship. So, dont act strange or make our friendship ruin just because what Im going to say, okay? I like you. No. I love you. Will you go out with me?"

It works if you say it in the right time right place and right mood. Tell him you love him and ask him to think a few days before an answer and ask him to still be friends.

Trust me girl, he will say yes.

So my mom made me break up with my first love for reasons I won't say (nothing bad just family thing really) anyways he said if I waited a year when I turn 17 were I am that's the legal age you can date without parents permission he'll wait a year for me, I have already have had guys tell me they're interested and recently grew closer to my best guy friend (oh btw I'm not aloud to talk to the boy I had to leave so we talk in secret) should I feel guilty having grown closer to this other guy or for flirting when I said I'd wait? Is waiting a year worth it or missing opportunities at my age? I honestly am torn

Well, there's this girl I like, and she doesn't know me that well, and I don't really know much about her either. I just really like her. I just need to know how to approach her without being creepy. I have her phone number, but we text rarely...I think she forgot that the person texting her was me...Anyway. I just could use some help on how to approach her.

(as a reply to Acid)
if you made a promise, you should keep it. if you went out with your best friend, this would break your old boyfrends heart. if you realy dont have the self respect to wait, you should break it off right away.

>227 yeah your right I guess it's just hard when I never get to talk to him to keep the bond but the Times I do talk to him I can still feel it

bump

My problem is I can't even get a date. Even before I gained a little weight, I was never pretty enough. How do you get a date any way?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 11 months. We're both 17 and in highschool. Lately he hasn't been very communicative with me. We make plans then he cancels our plans the day of. Especially last week, spring break. If he doesn't talk with me about it when I ask him, all I can do is assume or guess or wonder. I want his answer. We haven't gotten in a fight or anything, so I don't understand. He plays League of Legends or Raiders so much now that it's hard for me to talk to him online, since he has no cell phone. We usually communicate online through Skype, when I ask him to call so I may talk to him he's says I'm in a skype call with friends or playing L.o.L. or Raiders.

I feel like I can't trust his word kind of now :c which I don't like. Because over spring break last week: He'd agree to do something with me so we can spend time-he cancels the day of. I've asked him often on (weekends or when I'm at home and just wanna talk because I like to confide in him since I usually do in person but cant when I'm at home or something) to call me because he never has-he says ok he'll call- but he doesn't call. **He has a house phone so that's how he can call- or he can call me through Skype.
I'm always open with him, I feel like he's closing himself. I wish he'd open up to me. He doesn't open up to me unless it's about how his parents have been bugging him or something.
I like him very much, and I care for him so much. He knows that. I don't know what's his deal.
Saturday he said let's go out Sunday cause we need to talk at some point. He said he'd like it just to be the two of us so we can spend time together, like at the movies/mall. I told him my dad would pick us up at 10. Sunday morning at 9, I'm up and dressed and ready; waiting for my dad to tell me he's on his way to pick me up 1st. My boyfriend messages me asking if I'm there, he says we shouldn't go because he has Online Virtual School to do, 14 assignments he says. He says we'd only be able to hangout at the mall for an hour and talk if I were to go afterwards to get to my grandparent's on time at 1. He says he is very sorry, I cried basically all morning after that. He has backed out again, of going out somewhere with me. Why? Why does he keep doing this? It was his idea to go out, why cancel. Excuses, he always gives excuses. Is he afraid of something... I don't know, I wish he'd talk to me. Hopefully this weekend, he's not too 'busy.'

dcxvb

This is too far down with a few similar, smaller threads before it. Bump.

erytyfguh

I can't talk to girls... help me.
When I try to talk to any girl, I just don't bring a single word out. When I chat with them, I can express my feelings.
Help me please... maybe some tips?
I don't want to be alone anymore...

>>235 thx by the way.

try not to be nervouse anxious, ect. act calm and collected. dont be afraid its like blood in the water, try being confident. and obviously it may be cleche but try and be yourself, dont try to act cool or anything otherwise it can be quite comical and offputing, goodluck XD

>>238 ok... if I can't even talk to them. How am I supposed to act calm and collected? ._.

Hey guys, this may be a long one so you don't have to persevere if it gets boring but I just need to get it out where my "friends" aren't going to be judging me and trying to pressure me into things.

Two years ago, I was beginning to wonder if I was actually in love for the first time in my life. I'd had crushes, a boy you kinda like, but with this boy, I couldn't get him out of my head. I would wish desperately for him to see me and call out in the yard all the time, I'd forever want him to just say 'hi' on skype. Our friends hung out, but I just wanted him to know me as a friend. Midway through the year he asked one of my other friends out and I sincerely hoped it would work for them. I really like the girl and was genuinely happy for her. However, I broke my promise to let them be and by Christmas, I stupidly told him how I felt. He confessed that he liked me too, and as soon as school went back he would break up with his current gf and ask me instead. However, a whole term went by before they broke up and then he told me we couldn't go out he needed to sort himself out. He said he didn't want to hurt me and so if we gave it some time, it'd be ok. I waited, and I waited. I asked all his friends what to do and they all gave me different advice, but in the end we decided it wasn't going to happen. I said I didn't like him anymore and I tried to convince myself of that, but really, I still did. Two months later we were at a party playing spin the bottle. That started it, but even after the game was over he gave me a kiss goodnight. Everyday for the next week we hung out but then he ended it. He said he'd realised he didn't really 'like me in that way'. We stayed friends, but that was all.
It is now almost a year later and I have been getting really close to another guy. We went away on camp last weekend and, although he didn't say it, there were hints that he likes me. Everyone accused me of the fact and so I have decided he probably does. I like him too and so I asked my other friends for a little advice. One of those included the boy I had first liked. He told me to tell the other boy because there is no use wondering what might have been. On this subject I told him that I still wonder out of curiosity what he would have done if I had kissed him back on that night at the party and he openly admitted he would have asked me out. I then asked him what would happen if I kissed him now and he said, "well I'd certainly reconsider what I said to you. Perhaps you should try it ;)" when I told him no chance, he attempted to talk me into it. Today at school, he was awfully eager to walk home with me again.

So I guess my problem (after that long boring story) is that I now have two guys that I both feel strongly about. I am confused about them and don't have clue what to do with either. I guess I'm looking for some outside, uninfluenced advice, but really it just feels good to have let it out. Thanks for listening guys :)

>>240 ok. I read it. completely.
And I can tell you the solution:
You don't really love the first one. If you would have loved him, you wouldn't love the second.
The core: take number 2. and stay with him.

>>241 I don't particularly agree with you but understand your comment lol

>>240 I read it all the way to the end and...
I can't tell you what you should do, because it's important that you do what you feel is right. Though, my opinion is no one truly stops loving someone. Even if you still love the first guy, i think it seemed like he was being a bit screwy with your feelings. If you still want to be with him and he accepts you, you need to make sure you know he wants you. Because it's gonna be a shit ton of hurt other wise. ;o;

as for the second guy it might be good to really really get to know him and what he likes, so you can understand all of those little hints. That way, whether you guys go out or just stay friends, You'll still be really close.

Ok...I need advice.

I wanna ask a girl I know out. I've wanted to for a while, but I don't have the slightest clue what to do. We used to watch movies together (in groups) all the time but she went off to college so I don't get to see her much anymore. But...she's coming home for summer break in two weeks. She's pretty geeky, big sci-fi and fantasy fan, and a musician so we've got a ton in common.

I don't know how to tell her what I'm feeling or ask her if she'd even consider me. Help?

>>243 geeky? go for it! they are rare!
Ask her to watch a movie with you. only with you. And if she says yes, everything else will flow.

>>243 You're quite lucky. As >>244 said, watch a movie. It seems to be on of your main hobbies to do when your even together, so maybe that could create some sort of spark, then ask! :)

You guys DO KNOW that this is a thread for your, your friends, your family's past, present, and the "hopeful future" dating problems, right?

So stop making your own threads.

I'm in love with this girl named melonie but she already thinks I'm dating somebody. I know she loves me back but she still thinks I'm dating already and doesn't want to get caught up in something.

I'm really awkward around people I like. I act rather cold or make a fool of myself all the time. But I don't know how to fix that, I really like this guy and he likes me, or atleast he did when we were just friends. But we told each other we liked each other and since then I've been nothing but awkward. Help?

>>247 Are you dating somebody? If not you might want to clear that up.

>>247 Dude, tell her. Show her. Why would you let that idea continue in her mind if it isn't true and you want to be with her?

Hmm dating problems...
Why is it that every girl I've dated has (whether I knew before or they told me later) turned out to be bisexual. It's puzzling me.
Also; why do I have this issue similar to stockholm's syndrome where I fall in love with girls who need my help? It's rather depressing after a while?
Why am I complaining? It's actually all ok :')

Ah...So I'm dating one of my best friends, she's awesome, really nice and sweet...but the thing is...Well, she acts crazy all the time, like a weeabo (Dunno if I spelled that right but yeah...) I try telling her to tone it down in public but she won't listen to me and continues to scream/act childish and I'm sick of it...We're in high school and I don't want to be seen as a childish person who screams about their OTP or whatever, plus to complicate matters more...I despise being touched. I don't want to break up with her because I really do like her and we get each other...but some things just get too tiring to handle...Help anyone? (sorry for the long post!)

>>252 you could go to a friend of hers and say "hey, she's not listening to me and this is really getting out of hand. Could you try to talk some sense into her?" That's the most logical answer i came up with. You could threaten to break up with her if she continues but that could cause an argument. Another thing you could try is simply telling her "hey, i really do like you a lot but until you mature a bit, i cannot date you. I really do want to date you and all but simply cant stand this behaviour. I'm going to have to put this relationship on hold until you can prove that you're mature enough." This way you still have the potential to have a relationship if she changes. I have never been good with relationships so my advice may not be the best, but i hope you can work it out.

^

Ok dating problems.. I guess this should count right?

So my relationship in itself is amazing, but there is a snag. You see, my friend, who is also my boyfriends best friend, like-likes me. What makes it worse is that he is actually in a relationship with one of my best friends. The real problem is that i don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt him because he is an amazing guy. He loves cats and is really fun to talk to, and is always there when I can't tell John something, but this is just.. wrong. And then I can't tell Leni because she would flip shit on me and I don't want her to be hurt and mad either because she really does love him.

And obviously I love John more than anything in the universe, and there's no chance in hell I'd leave him, but everyone expects me to just be cool with it. I can't be cool with this, and it's nerve wrecking.

The worst part is I don't even know why! I act like such a bitch around everyone, and he doesn't know about the things I do here and at the shelters, so there's nothing there that has any real reason. I guess I'm attractive in a weird little kid way, but still.

I don't know what to do. I don't know why this happened. And I don't want to hurt anyone by saying something.

I've been there, you need to privatly tell this guy you're in a relationship and are happy with john.
if he doesn't get it, he can't be helped.

I also have problem.
The love of my life has chronic depresion and is having a bad spell.
my mind is destroying itself, can anyone relate?

I love this girl but we've been friends for ever I think she might like me back and I've even asked her to go out with me but she keeps changing the subject I think she might be scared that she'll get hurt and or lose me as a friend if we where to go out and break up.
How do I tell her I'm scared too, but I still love her and want to try and date her?
BTW: I'm also a girl ( but she's also Bi)

I broke up with someone because I was really stressed about my college work. Now they hate me and never want to speak to me again. We've been friends for 15 years and I don't see how he can just say goodbye to it all. I know I hurt him because I was the one who wanted to break up, but my whole world can't revolve around him. I just wish he wouldn't hate me so much. It makes me feel like he never really cared about me at all in the first place.

>>258 Can't say I have. I'm too independent for that. I cheer em up the best way I can and just wait it out with them.

>>259 What you just said there sounds good. If she keeps changing the subject being blunt and direct is best.
Also, if she is one of those bisexuals who are "new", then that's probably the reason she's "scared".

>>260 Everything you just said here, calm him up and say. You could mail him this, but it would have less of an impact. Just say what you said here and then ask how you can make it all right again.

thanks for the advice Magnolia.
(problem already solved though)
and to neko, hang in there.
you need to try one more time and get an answer, if it's no, then you can stay friends as long as you don't seem too hurt to her.

>>262 Sorry. I thought a day later wouldnt be too late. :( So how is she?

bumping again so it'll be on top.

I am just going to hide my identity just in case this person I'm writing about is on this website too...(which is actually really likely, seeing as he's a major Durarara!! fan too.)
Anyway, the major issue here is that I don't know the person I like's sexual orientation...we're both guys.

He's really sweet...always asking how I am and stuff like that. If I'm in a bad mood, no matter how hard I try to hide it, he knows, and will try to comfort me the best that he can (which usually works...). He's also been really overprotective of me...to the point where he will make sure I'm not doing anything that could result in me getting sick or injured in any way.

However, he is also really playful and flirtatious. He can randomly break out tickling me...which isn't really fair because I don't know where to tickle him. He can be pretty perverted in his comments, and knows just how to make me blush when he uses his flirtatiousness on me. I have only kissed him once - and it was on the cheek. Sure, he blushed and grinned, but there is always the possibility that he didn't want to hurt my feelings.

Anyway, overall, he is an exceptional sweetheart, and I'd really like to ask him out...but the problem is, I'm kinda afraid that I'd hurt the friendship if I did so...Thanks for reading, and if I may get some opinions, what do you guys and girls here at the Dollars think?

>>265 Dude. He tickled you. He's gay.
Everything else says he is definitely gay.
And he fancies you.

He's gotta be into you. Seriously.

Ha Ha! They said "into you".

>>267 your next to be tickled now

Nooooooo! XD

Thanks for all the help guys!

>>263 She's doing great now, we sat down and talked a bit about everything.
I even helped fix her home life.
she's had a roughe life but at least I can relate to her a bit better.

>>273 Glad it worked out in the end. You're good for waiting it out.

^

>>275 thanks, not all the problems are solved but the ones that worry me are solved.
now to try and solve one of the others with out getting and emotional bullet to the head.

" an emotional bullet to the head."
I'm totally stealing that.

So there's this guy and he's in my P4 and P9 classes. I like him, but I don't know if he likes me. Sometimes I'll be slumping in band class (P9) or maybe sitting down (rarely) in gym (also P9) and I'll catch him glancing at me. He sits diagonally behind me in my P4 class and generally leans his head in my direction whenever he slumps down. Today I think he actually tried to talk to me, but I'm probably going insane. Could I have some advice on what to do? (I can't actually talk to him because I have a couple anxieties that won't let me.)

aedr

So the girl I like is seriously shy, and I'm overtly not. I've known her for a couple of years, and it took quite a while for her to warm-up to me. We can finally have comfortable conversations and I consider her also to be one of my close friends.

The problem is, with her being shy, I can't tell if she likes me as more than a friend. I know she wouldn't be the one to make any sort of first move. There's also the issue of another girl of whom she had/has feelings for, but is straight. She still talks about her all the time, and it makes me feel like I have no chance. I haven't openly told anyone that I'm a lesbian, but I'm pretty sure she at least has picked up signals (she knows I enjoy yuri, for one).

To be honest, I don't know what I'd do if I found out she really liked me. I assume coming out would happen sometime very soon after that?

But if I have no reason (such as a potential girlfriend) to come out, I'm not going to. If I could get any advice at all for figuring out how she feels about me... that would really be amazing.

^ ask. Boom, problem solved

...
me again...
I confessed my love to the girl I wrote about before, but my so called friends have been spreading lies about me and now she dosn't trust me.
she imidiatly exepted the date offer of some ass hole the second she lost trust in me.
I told her how I felt but she's so hurt that she claims she is incappable of love.
I'm hanging out with her today, the last day of school, and won't be back online for a while, so I need help now.
p.s. this shit has gotten way out of hand.

>>282

"she imidiatly exepted the date offer of some ass hole the second she lost trust in me.
I told her how I felt but she's so hurt that she claims she is incappable of love."

Umm... What? That didn't make sense. I don't really like girls like her, and if she's honestly that sensitive, don't approach her at all. Stop pursuing her all together. Because you dont need that drama. And I thought that you two were already together? That's what it sounded like the last time you wrote. And if that's not the case, you've spent a lot of time with her, yeah? If she can just turn her opinions of you on a dime like that, just back off and give her space. If she comes to you, then you were meant to be.
That's what I think anyway, I might be too late.

>>283 immediately accepted the date of some other dude that im going to call an asshole because they arent me.

>>284 Thank you so much for clearing that up. Still doesn't make sense why she is incapable of love now... Sounds like a whole bucket full of drama.

^

Bamp

Well here's my problem. I've been dating this girl for 5 months now. She was pretty much my first true love, and things were going well for a while. We've had some arguments here and there, but nothing I thought we couldn't solve. Then she breaks up with me because she claimed I hurt her and it turns out she did this the following day my friend breaks up with his girlfriend. So she offers to still be friends, which I agree to, but I'm still dumbstruck by the whole breaking up scene that I can't think straight. Things only got worse when she sent me a text saying her and my friend like each other. Obviously, this pissed me off, because not only did she shrug me off like dirt in less than three days of our break, she also developed feelings and tried and hook up with my best friend, who had just ended a three year relationship, and hide it from me and my friend didn't have the sense to tell me at all. Now, seeing them together still kills me, and she claims they're taking things slow even though everyone watches her treat my friend like they've been dating. She tried to explain that it wasn't my fault, and is asking if I'm alright with them dating. Obviously I'm not, and I wonder how she can't see that clearly, but I can't stop them from making up their mind. Any advice?

>>288 I don't really see how she is super in the wrong. You can't help who you have feelings for, would you rather she stayed with you and was unhappy? I feel like you might just have to get over it and move on.

>>288 You have two options. You can tell your now ex what you just told us or you could leave it be and be happy about what you had and what you still have. If you are ok with losing those two as friends or feel that wont mess with your friendships, by all means, i encourage you to speak your mind. But if you arent ok with that, it is best to let it be.

>>278 Upping.

the girl i like right now is giving me mixed signles and i don't understand. i asked her out and she avoided my question and wouldn't give me a straight answer the she keeps acting all flirty and stuff like holding my hand at the movies. then she tells me how her and a friend and her did "those some kind of things together" i don't know what to do anymore i can't tell if she's toying with me or what.
what should i do cause i really might love this girl?!
btw:i'm also a girl
btw:i have never done any "of those things" i've even a kissed anyone so i feel a little inexperienced
btw:she's bi so no problem their

^ ask again, try to get a straight answer(no pun intended)

^ Fucking Lol.

A straight answer lmao.

Does any one have any more advice ?
I already tried asking again and i got nothing.
I'm feeling a little discouraged. :(

>>293 >>297

Ask her straight out. "Do you like me? I won't talk to you until you give me an answer: 'yes' or 'no'. You're giving me mixed signals so I just want to make sure." If she refuses to answer you, ditch her. You don't need someone who plays around with you like that.

Though to be honest, you screwed yourself if you asked her out before asking if she actually liked you. I'm not positive what to tell you at this point.

Could I please get some advice on >>278? Literally no one anywhere has helped me and this is my last resort.

There seems to be very little to help you with. If you won't talk to him and he hasn't talked to you, there isn't much potential for the situation the change. Do you actually know anything about him, or is it just kind of a fantasy? Probably get some stronger evidence than "He might be looking at me" before you do anything though, it might be your brain playing tricks.

>>300 I know a bit about him and we have a couple things in common, but I'm ninety percent sure he doesn't like me. I suppose I should probably clarify on what I need help with: I'm trying to get over him but I can't ignore him. I guess I'll look for evidence though.

>>301 Talk to him, make friends with him, be sure that you really do like him. Trust me, no male is going to reject being talked to by a female. If you are trying to get to know him either focus on other activities you have, other boys you know or as said earlier get to know him and see if you really do.

>>302 already said they cant due to social anxiety problems.

So I'm going to confess my feeling to one of my close friends. He loves starbucks so I was thinking if I should buy him a coffe and write on the side of it "will you go out with me". Or should I give hime a not filled with daft punk songs (he loves daft punk) ex: I want to hug you one more time (one more time is a daft punk song) I know that this isn't that big of a deal but I want to know which way is better

>>303 Then I guess just trying to forget he's there is the only option.

>>304 Well if your going to confess to him then do it. Especially if your close to him and your sure that your feelings are real for him then go for it :) and since he's a close friend, you shouldn't have to worry about if he rejects you because he'll still be friends with you. so again, go for it (the coffee thing sounds brilliant by the way)

>>304
panda-chan.
The coolest relationships come out of close friendships. I wish you the best of luck! I think the starbucks idea is cuter. You can even cover the starbucks cup with daft punk songs to combine the idea.
Best of luck - tell us how you go!

>>298
looks like i blew my chance with her. she got her self a boyfriend and then- i can't prove it but i think she made this up- she said that" after she told her frinds she had 5 of her other friends tell her that they like her" then she went on about how she hated hurting them and i couldn't say it. how could i say i loved her after that!? i don't know what to do i can't even talk to her on the phone with out tearing up.

what do i do know?!

>>308 so she has a boyfriend already? If yes, you have two options, role the dice and risk being regected(very high risk), or pass and wait for her relationship with this boyfriend to end and attempt to "pick up the pieces"(may take a lot of time). If no, >>298 is your safest move. The pressance of a boyfriend complicates the game.

>>308
nobody-san.
From what you said before, it sounds like she's playing you. She might not even know that she does it, but a lot of girls (or people in general) do these sorts of things because their subconscious desire is more attention. More more more. But that is besides the point I suppose.
Random q: Are you guys very close?
I think before you say anything to her (you should definitely say something to her) you need to come to some resolution inside yourself. Prepare for the worst (but hope for the best, obviously). Think - if she doesn't like me, if she blatantly rejects me, if she cusses me out - what is my course of action? Because trust me, you won't have the capacity to do something rational/good for yourself after the rejection has already occurred; you'll probably be a wobbly mess of emotions. So protect yourself, put up your emotional buffers, write yourself down your safety-net plan. Then go for it.
If she rejects you - you know what you're going to do next, and knowing what to do makes you safe (i.e. take self out to a movie/stop talking to her for a while to resolve feelings/write yourself a poem to calm down/have someone ready to talk to you if anything goes wrong), and well, if she doesn't - then hooray.
This way you have nothing to be afraid of.
Good luck, nobody-san.

So, I just recently got into dancing, and the other night I went out to this event and met this guy who was really nice, really funny, generally attractive, outgoing, and a charming little bastard. We danced, we talked, we laughed, but then the clock struck midnight (or, you know, 10:45), and I had to go home, without so much as scoring his number. Next Friday night the people who hosted the previous event are going to have another one - and if I'm lucky, he'll be there. I wouldn't be surprised if he was. I'm definitely interested in him, despite an age difference that is probably larger then I'd think about (though I'm pretty sure it's still legal). Unfortunately, I don't really know how to score contact information or a real friendship or anything like that - I'm not exactly experienced. Got any advice on how to get friendly with Charming?

Harley-san.
Lucky you, meeting such an awesome-sounding guy! I hope he's just as great as you described him.
I'm curious, just what is the age difference?
I find that the thing that trips people up the most in scoring anything in any relationship is being way too invested and over-thinking things. Once you are interested in someone, the entire world looks different, you start noticing little things they do, and extrapolating too much meaning from nothing. Make sure you don't do this.
How to score contact information or real friendship etc:
It's okay not to be experienced - that has a certain charm to it as well. Don't be afraid to compliment, but don't compliment so much that it is smothering. Everything in moderation - talk about things you are interested in, but not so much that you don't get to ask him what he is interested in. After you find out about his opinions on things or what he is interested in, things get a lot easier.
The easiest way to 'score' contact information is in situations where possession of contact information is *vital*. i.e. if you will be meeting again in private. So, if your interests match, for example, perhaps you can suggest 'hey next time, we should go to this place together!' - then if he agrees, it'll be easy to ask for contact info. Because after all, how will you contact each other without it?
All that said...
can't you just add him on Facebook?
Small tips on how to interact with people:
- laugh, and smile (friendliness makes the atmosphere relax)
- ask questions about their life (people love to talk about themselves usually, if not themselves, they will love to talk about their friends/family/dog/work/school)
- make affirming comments. These are like compliments - but less intimidating. Adding 'ooh that's cool!' 'haha that sounds awesome' will often stimulate interest in continuing discussion
- have opinions. There are times when it's good to just agree to disagree or let people have their opinion, but it is good to show off your opinions if the occasion ever presents itself. Opinions = First impression personality.
These are the only things I can come up with on the top of my head at the moment.
Best of luck. :)

I don't know his exact age, but I'm 17 and I pretty sure he's in his early 20's. According to the age of consent laws in my state, it's totally legal as long as he's 24 or younger, but, you know, it's still pretty weird. At least, it is to me.
And I suppose it sounds silly, but I feel really shy about adding him on Facebook. I don't want to come off as weird or creepy or anything like that. But thanks for the advice! I'll be sure to do my best. And hopefully not break the law in the process.

Not breaking the law is paramount Harley-san.
You can ask him before adding him. Say something like 'hey, do you have facebook?' as a signpost. I'm sure you won't come off as weird and creepy. 17 year old girls are not weird and creepy, they are the epitome if beauty and youth.
See, now I sound weird and creepy.
Good luck

>>313 I know 15 year old's dating guys his age, It's actually surprisingly normal.

>>315 I suppose it might just be me getting all weird about it. Especially considering I have a friend who does the same thing... Only more illegal.

The girl I'm dating who lives in another country hasn't really been online much and I'm feeling like sending her a message to get an update but I feel I might sound rude if I don't ask correctly to Her. What's a good way to ask about her absence without being rude?

Axel-san.
You're dating her, so she's your girlfriend right?
Lighten up. :) You have every right to be curious about her circumstances if she hasn't been around for a while. Maybe things aren't going very well for her? You never know.
Just send her a message asking her if she's been okay - and say that you noticed an absence.
Unless she is highly sensitive, you have nothing to worry about.
Good luck! Let us know how it goes.

>>318 Try to seem more concerned than anything and dont acuse her of anything. Simply say you've noticed the absense and am slightly concerned. Ask if everything is ok and ensure her that she can tell you anything.

>>320 >>319 ok big news, she's back online but more exciting is she and her close friend who is a fabulous transexual are moving from Ireland to South Korea. So now my only concerns are if North Korea invades.

>>322 lucky that you took that name, I originally planned on not going forward with the 12th Doctor thing. Good for you man for using a great name here :D

>>321
That is the most fabulous update ever.

ASDFGHJKL HELP ;A; I do not know what to do AT ALL. I like this girl but the biggest problems are is that 1. I am a girl myself 2. She is a Christian 3. I am not sure if she tolerates or agrees with gayness 4. She isn't even attracted to anyone AT ALL

I'm not sure how I can possibly tell her that I like girls either. I had a hard enough time telling my bestfriend and I can't even bring myself to tell my own dad. Also my best friend has no problem with it but if I told him who I liked he would probably be disgusted with me because he HATES the girl I like.

Also she is like the best girl ever. She loves anime, no reasons to get in a fight over, able to stand up to bully(sort of..in a way), ALWAYS happy, loves video games, and basically we get along perfectly but I hate hanging out with her knowing she may never even know how I feel. D:

>>325 Well if you guys are this close then it sounds like you guys would be friends no matter what. I would ask do you feel like that is true? And if so, then you should come clean to her about your feelings and not let it build up. If she says she actually feels the same way then wonderful, but if she doesn't then it would be unfortunate. But the worse i can see is she just has to say no and you guys stay close friends.

>>325 You could try bringing homosexuality into a conversation. Try to get her to tell you her feelings on homosexuality. After you get that information, ask her what her responce would be if she found out one of her friends was a homosexual. If she said she didnt mind it, and she wouldnt care if her friends where homosexual, then go on to ask her responce if a friend where to tell her that they liked her. If she over reacts and says she would probably reject that person for life, dont tell her. If she says she wouldnt care, tell her. If she asks why you're asking those things before you finish and/or you deside not to tell her, lie and say you're currious or something. To simplify my answer, find out her thoughts on homosexuality, move from there, and if she asks questions you dont want to answer, lie.

Xenon-san is a wise old/young person.
I second all the things he/she just said, but I'd just like to add. There's all sorts of people who call themselves christian. There's the intolerant (ignorant) ones who use religion as a cover for all sort of -ism (e.g. sexism), the really tolerant ones who slap on the label christian because their family is christian/their country is christian/it sounds like an alright religion, and intense ones who know their religion really well and agree with all of it and more.
So saying that she's 'Christian' might not have a bearing on anything, or it could mean everything. That said - Christians are called to love everyone. They're also called to not be gay. But that's their own problem. They're not supposed to hate on you for being gay. Hopefully she's got this point through her head, or else this could be a painful time for both of you.
To me, the other big issue would be the 'she isn't attracted to anyone AT ALL' thing. Maybe she just doesn't want anything at the moment with anyone?
Also - your best friend. What's with him hating the girl you like? Is it founded? There may be something he's seeing you're not seeing (or something you're seeing that he's not). But I consider this an important warning sign for possibly your best friend being intolerant or there being something wrong with this perfect-sounding girl you love. :P Please get to the bottom of that.
Good luck Fullmetalpip-san

I am in a heavily mentally abusive relationship and I'm scared to get out. I'm leaving for college in a few months that is 14+ hours away from where my partner and I currently live, and I am absolutely horrified of what I am going to be dealing with in my relationship on top of starting college, getting used to a new place, trying to make friends, etc. Ever since I told my partner that I was leaving to go to this school, my partner has been constantly guilt tripping me every day, saying stuff like, "I'm just going to be alone soon so what's the point?," "I don't want to do anything today because I better get used to being alone." Blah, blah, blah. I've told my partner these things make me incredibly sad to hear; and that I'm scared of being alone, too. I have struggled with self-harm and depression for ten years now and I feel like I am on the verge of a complete collapse. Now, I know you might just say "well, break up with this person;" but the thing is, this person has threatened suicide on numerous occasions when I've tried to do something of the sort in the past. I can't take this anymore. I can't even be excited to step into the next biggest part of my life: college. It's gotten so bad I'm to the point where I would rather drop out of college before I even go and kill myself because then I won't have to deal with anymore. I know that might sound childish, but I'm hurting really bad and I see no way out. Please help me. Please.

>>329 My first advice is to seek professional help. No, i don't mean you are crazy or anything like that, psychologist are trained to help people with your kind of problem, they are the best people to advice you.
People who guilt trip, in my experience, are actually quite cowards. They threat with suicide, but they probably wouldn't go for it. But no garantees, it's just an opinion.
And think about this: You seem to be moving on with your life, but this person is trying to keep you, so it seems that you are the one with the power and the one who can call the shots.
But seriously, seek a professional for help, and we are here for you

I was dating a guy for a while. He was a nice guy but, maybe it was just me, but he went about it all wrong. He was kinda over the top. he said such sweet things. But the way he said them sounded like we were a soap opera. I actually had to lie and come up with an excuse to leave just to get him to leave me alone. But even then he would walk me home. Then I would have to lie again to get him to leave. Cuz there was no way I was gonna have someone that clingy knows where I live.
Why is it so difficult to find somebody descent?

>>310
Saika-san
I did what you said and I think she made her choice she hasn't spoken to me in 2 weeks I think it's over. I kind of wish I had never realized my feelings for her cause I now I don't think she will ever talk to me ever again.
I mean w don't go to the same school anymore and we don't really have any place we would ever be forced to spend time together and I can't bring my self to go back on my resolve.
what ... what should I d now?

I have two accounts on this sight I am >>nobody
>>308

*sighs* me and bf have terrible communication problems... its gotten really bad. i hope we can work on it but still.. had a long argument about it last night. went to bed crying.

It's not something big, really... I just feel like I want a boyfriend, a real relashionship. I am friend with a lot of guys, and earlier this year some of them turned out to love me. I wasn't sure at the beginning, but my other friends confirmed. There was like four of them that loved me, even if I never did anything for it. Then, one of them asked me out and I thought it could work, so I accepted. Soon I realised I didn't really love him, but I thought it would come. Naturally it didn't, so I broke up after four months. He was really sad and I felt bad about it, but after some time it seemed okay. My friends said he was still in love with me, but at that point I couldn't do anything about it. But now, I think the thing is restarting...

Two of the guys that liked me previously gave some hints that they could love me, a guy I never met started to flirt with me and even my best friend, a girl, confessed to me. I don't mind that she's bi or anything, but I am not so... Oh, and for the guy I never met, I had to lie and say I had a boyfriend to get rid of him because he was starting to stalk me... I don't like any of them, I know it. They're just my friends. And I would like to have a clear relashionship, but first I am very unexperienced and second I don't want to hurt them... I would feel like I am saying "no one of you is good enough, I'm looking somewhere else...". What I truly want to say is that my head is a mess and all I know is that I want to find someone I like... I also don't understand why I am this popular, I truly don't do anything for it... And it's not like I am particularly beautiful or anything...

Sorry for this long post... I don't know if it's clear, I usually speak french (feel free to answer in this language xD)so...

>>335 You would think after 10 years of a french class i would be able to communicate in french, but unfortunatly i cant. I'll leave the translating to google translate seeing how it would probably do a better job than i would. On to the advise. It is not uncommon to have that desire for a relationship. I find myself wanting one as well alot of the time. But just because someone desides to ask you out doesnt mean you have to say yes. I dont see that as "i'm too good for you" but more as "i dont feel like it would work very well". Plus an unstable relationship puts your overall friendship with the person on the line. If you dont like them that way, you dont and (depending on how long you have known the person) may never have those same feelings. My advise about wanting a boyfriend but not the people who have asked so far is simple. Wait until you find someone who you think will make you happy because if you try to fake it, it will only crumble. As for the "i dont understand why i'm so popular" part, you may be under estimating yourself. I dont know what you look like so i cant say. Plus, it's not all about looks. Judging by what you wrote, you seem to be a decently good and kind hearted person. You gave your friend a chance even though you thought it wouldnt work, are considering your friends feelings if your possible relationships with them where to crumble, and atleast attempted to let the border line stalker down softly(aka not swearing at him and calling the police which is probably what the majority of people would have done). Plus, you are close to bilingual which is pretty amazing in itself. You have to be popular for some reason so dont over think it and put yourself down.

I apologize if any of what i just wrote is confusing, has horrible grammar, or is misspelled. It is 1am where i am and it has been a long day. If you have any questions about what i just said, feel free to ask and i will respond as soon as i can.

^

BUMP

So a friend I've known since childhood asked me out. I said yes. The problem is he is in another state at the moment. I trust him but at the same time I can't. In the span of six years I've only talked to him 2-3 times and now a lot through text... people can change. And now my feelings for him are mumbled and jumbled up now. What can I do?

Bump. Anyone want to offer advice to >>339 ?

>>339 by in a state right now, does that mean he will return to your state soon? if so, i'd advise waiting out the time and to stay in touch with. Spend the time going through and determining your feelings for him. sort it all out. If you really like him and you want to have a relationship, wait it out, and see where the relationship leads when your together in person. If it turns out it isnt working, and your not happpy, just tell him your not feeling that it's working and move on :) hope that helps.

There's a girl who seems determined to go out with me, we'll call her "M.K." for the sake of anonymity. The problem is, I'm not really interested in any relationships at the current stage of my life. To make things more complicated, she's a very physical person, in that she tends to touch people often, whereas I loathe being touched. I'm completely asexual because of how much I dislike the feeling. Anyways, back to the issue at hand...I don't really want to lose her as a "friend", but I don't want to date her at all. I've declined her advances so far, but she persists, and I'm not all that willing to change my general behavior. I've told her about my issues with touching, and about my sexuality, and she regards it as a hurdle to overcome. What can I do about M.K.?

>>342 I don't mean to be rude, but M.K. is being incredibly disrespectful. If she's making you uncomfortable like that, she's crossing the line. You need to have a VERY serious talk with her about it.
She should not be trying to put you in a position that makes you distressed. M.K. needs to understand this makes you uneasy and it has to stop.
She should not be considering it a 'hurdle to overcome' - she is trying to force you into a relationship against your will. It's a few steps away from sexual assault, though I'm reluctant to bring that up.
Do NOT let this go on. Are your other friends aware of how discomforting it is for you? You need to get M.K. to understand she is harassing you and it needs to stop. If you can't convince her, speak to her friends and family - I'm sure they'll understand and try to talk some sense into her.
Sorry, this probably wasn't helpful at all. I wish you luck.

I just don't know how to ask someone out. So technically, I don't have any dating problems which is the problem.

I live in a fairly coastal area so the typical stereotype is kind of laid back surfie lads; making people like me stick together. Even the large amount of people that are enough like me to get on with just still aren't quite the same type of person as me. Don't get me wrong, I really like all of them and they are great friends; it's just good to know somebody who can kind of, understand you. Now, here is where my problem starts. I finally met a female like that, out of nowhere. We met at a party and we are that perfect level of similar but not too similar. Not to mention that but she is also really, surprisingly cute for somebody like me; always expected a female that doesn't like outside/humans in general would look different. Anyway, we are both too awkward and retarded to do anything; I knew she would get me, she knew I would get her but on that one night we laid under a sleeping bag for 8 hours without doing anything. We've kept contact over the next couple of weeks and are still getting on amazingly, I sent her one emotional message (first time I've ever really opened up actually) over facebook when I was drunk once but apart from that nothing. I need any help/tips on the situation, due to the fact that females seem to increase my depression ten fold I have always stayed away from this kind of thing but now I really don't want to.

Once again, any advice would be appreciated.

>>345 I think for a start you could try to open up to her more naturally, with out being drunk i mean. Try telling her ow she makes you feel. The fact that you guys are still getting on is good sign, and you should try to talk to her about meeting up in places. Try getting out and doing more together cuz it sounds like you've found a keeper :)
Hope this helped

my problem is that no one in my town doesn't wants to date a nerd. not a fake nerd but a real nerd. i go to conventions, i cosplay, i read comic books and manga. i watch anime ect. i've been looking but i haven't found a nerd girl.

>>347 it seems you just have to be patient and keep looking :) it'll be ok though. She's out there

i wanna date a dollars member who is14 or some were near that any offers?
come chat with me

>>349 Fuck off, then go fuck yourself

>>347 They are out there, even if not in your town. You just have to wait till you can leave and explore the wider world because they are out there and they are also looking.

>>341 Doug yes he will but I don't know exactly when. But thank you your advise cooled me off some.

>>351 glad I can help out. Like I said, keep in touch and see where it goes, and if any more problems pop up just post again on here:)

WOW! It took me quite a while to read ALL the threads!
But most of them were really interesting. Mind if I tell my little story?

Well, it all started when I was 13 (5 years ago), I was bullied for my weight and couldn't get along with people in my age, so I decided to stay at home infront of my computer. Then I met this guy on this chat and at first I really didn't want to talk to him but it turned out to be a wonderful relationship. We talked alot and also did lots of RP's out of boredom, he also listened to my problems I had with my family and I accepted him as my best friend. He was in a relationship when we first talked to eachother but he broke up after half a year and asked me for advice. At that time I wasn't good with love and said to change the topic. Our friendship continued like this for a year and everyday I would wait for him to come online. I was always so happy and didn't realize that I was actually in love him.

One day he asked me if there was someone I like and .. well, out of this conversation I realized that I like him but somehow we messed up this conversation and it ended up me confessing to him and being rejected in a very rude way (called me names and things that really hurt).
And like you know, girls always go after assholes, I didn't even know why I liked him. Probably because he was always there for me and cared.
Well, after rejecting me it continued 4 years like this: he confessed, I rejected; we tried being friends but messed it up.

And then there was this guy - A! He's in my class and we became good friends and everyone knew that there was something between us. Well, he apparently like me but I didn't. Not that way you know. But we did alot, went to partys and chilled at home watching movies. Everyone thought we would become a couple.

Sorry to disappoint them but I still loved the other one all this time and after 5 years (2/3 months ago) we finally decided on becoming a couple.
WORST IDEA EVER. Just then I really realized how much of a son of a bitch he was. Everytime I texted him he said he was busy playing video games or just don't feel like talking to me.
I hold out for 1 month. We managed to talk 3 times in this months for like 2 minutes.
Really pissed me off! I was about to break up!

Yeah.. at that time I met that other guy.. also from a chat, this chat! Don't judge me. I haven't changed all these years.
I just lost lots of weight and realized that looks are not all in a relationship! I also liked him for being him, I didn't even knew how he looked like!
So, I met this other guy and we started on becoming good friends and he started to care about me and call me cute names.
That made me really happy since I wasn online for almost 2 weeks and didn't find any message from my boyfriend caring about me but from him!!

I think this was the point where I decided on breaking up with him and I did. We didn't talk after that again.
I'm actually not the type which confesses and all and it always happens to be me.

So, me and the other guys started to write alot and I really started to like him! And well, I just confessed and found out that he was in love with me all this time but wasn't confident enought and now we're dating since a month! And I'm SO happy eventhough we can't talk that much since time difference.


My problem here is, I really like him alot but I just can't enjoy our time because (like everyone knows) it will be over some day!


And there is a problem with A! He suddenly had a girlfriend and everyone was shocked since they thought we were about to get together, it was pretty close in their eyes though and I always had the feeling that she hates me. AND SHE DOES! A week ago he told me that he really likes me and that I am realy cool but that his girlfriend hates me an they had several arguments about me!

So she's the reason he couldn't invite me to his birthday party and he wouldn't even answer me on facebook or elsewhere because his girlfriend made a big fuss that evening that he was talking to me. She even locked herself in the women's restroom.
I'm just losing contact to him since we graduated from school and I don't want that but I also have the feeling that he seriously likes me..
I lost lots of guy friends that way - the girlfriends always hate me EVENTHOUGH we don't know eachother and I just don't want that anymore!

And please don't forget the other thing, that I can't enjoy the time with him!

Sorry for the long story!

BBoop

>>326>>327 Well, I questioned her VERY carefully of course to see what she would think. I'm glad to say I was able to tell her I like both genders but even though she said she wouldn't mind if a girl liked her I am still too afraid to tell her. I'm just afraid our relationship will get awkward and hard to stay as close...Anyways thanks a lot :) I'm now slightly closer to telling her.

^

^

hf

tufjk

tufjk

I dont think that I will ever find that "special" someone.All and I mean ALL of my friends have always been hit on when hey go out, they have so many stories about it and I have none. My best friend already had a boyfriend 4 time! An the first time was in 7th grade! Im going into ninth and Ive neither even once had a date with a boy... Help?

>>362 Does it really matter trust me you're better of without a boyfriend until you mature a little bit. It seems like it'll be great but you get used to it in a few days and then it'll become boring.

>>362 Does it really matter, trust me you're better of without a boyfriend until you mature a little bit. It seems like it'll be great but you get used to it in a few days and then it'll become boring.

bump

>>362 Sorry for replying so late(haven't been on in a while). Taichi-kun pretty much nailed the answer for this one. The only thing i would like to add is the chances of you finding that "special someone" that is supposed to spend the rest of his life with you is slim in 9th grade. Does that mean you shouldnt try to date? Not necessarily. If you want to date someone, you may just have to gather the guts to ask someone instead of waiting on being asked. I wish you the best of luck no matter what you choose to do.

Well, I suppose that this is technically a bump, so... BUMP!!

So, I'm not going to sugarcoat anything; I am terrible at sincere social interaction. You tell me to act like I am intrigued by someone? For a good price, they will believe it, just trust me. But when it comes to me talking to people, I am honestly just the distant, cynical, and quiet sociopath that I am. But, I may also be really shy and kind at the same time. I am basically bipolar. It's not like I can help it, but I don't like being the classic pity-party of one, and I don't want people to be annoyed because they think that I'm just a socially deprived asshole with no friends. I just sometimes have a tendency to mess with people's emotions, like a manipulative bastard. Say what you want, but I don't want to be like this, I want to be treated normal. And whatever happens, I really don't care, as long as everything just stays normal.

But of course, that doesn't happen because these stupid emotions happen to everyone, regardless of who you are, because whoever or whatever distributes feelings is a bitch, have to get in the way of everything. That's where I, albeit reluctantly, am asking assistance of others.

There is this guy, and I think that I might actually like him. Nothing like this has really happened to me before, and even though I know plenty about situations like this, it's different when it happens to you personally. A lot different, in a bad way. Like you're no longer impartial to it, and you're actually feeling something.

Anyways, this guy, he's tall, wears glasses, and he's a redhead, something I wouldn't usually like, but whatever. He's kind of nerdy, which I find kind of cute, and his voice is really low, which I- for some stupid reason- feel the need to point out. He likes minecraft- like me- and is really smart, and he has a twin brother, but his twin doesn't wear glasses. He is the older one, and I've talked to him more than the other. We have about half of our school day together, and we are both in band as well. I play saxophone and he plays tuba, and sometimes we practice together at the beginning of school, though there are other people in the room with us at the time. We don't talk much, but whenever we start a conversation, he moves into a really weird position for a brief second where he sticks out his chest a little and his eyes kind up open wider before he talks. It's really strange, I don't really know why he does it either. The thing is, I've had quite a few humiliating things happen to me at school, and he always seems to be there to see it. One time, my friend pushed me in the hallway and I slipped and fell, hitting one of the doors. He was right behind me, making the weird face again. Then, the next day, I did something else. He sits directly behind me in Language Arts, and we were supposed to talk to each other to discuss something, and I tried to turn and fell out of my chair and screamed. He made the face. AGAIN. I'd tell you of more things, but what I don't get it how he's always there when stuff like that happens to me! I don't know whether or not he thinks I'm stupid, or creepy, or scary, or what, and it's really confusing. I can usually read people pretty well, but I can't seem to analyze what he's thinking. It's so frustrating. My friend brought up that I may like him, and I don't know. Whenever I see him, I get kind of nervous and want to be impressive and smart and pretty, but I don't know if I am... I've been told I'm pretty, and I'm not fat (but not a twig) so I don't know what to do... That's why I'm asking you guys.

I don't know what I should do, or if he likes me or not. I could never ask him out, so I ask you to refrain from saying 'well grow a pair and ask him out', because he's the kind of person that doesn't even seem interested in dating in the first place. I would never know what he'd say. Just if you're wondering, I'm NOT interested in anything sexual, just a normal relationship between two teenagers, and I'm NOT a delirious fifth grader who wants a boyfriend just so they can say they can. If you actually read this, then thanks, I guess, since this is so freaking long and I probably wrote way too much. Just help me, please? I don't know what to do, for once, and I hate to admit it, but it kind of scares me to act like this. I'll leave it at that, but thank you.

>>367 Well to me it sounds like your over thinking things just a little. I'd personally try to move torwards being friends, and getting to know him a little better ( like closely and intimately if you understand) and see what he thinks of you. It may turn out to be a little crush or infatuation, so really see if this is the kind of guy that would work out for you. And you definitly sound ashamed to be admitting any of this, and more ashamed of the mistakes, like it makes you feel less confident. One if i'm correct then you shouldn't feel that way because everyone goes through a lot of what your going through in an average day to day life :) and it shouldn't get to you cuz it happens to us just as much, two if i was wrong then disregard what i said in number one. Anyways, take things slow, and ease your way in as a friend, get to know him, and find out more about what he likes, and see if he shows qualities that fit your interest. Also, don't overthink his expression, itcould mean a million things ( probably should just ask him about it).
Anyways that's my bit of advice. Hope this helps you out in some way :) and if you do get around to asking him, and you need any more help, come back around here :)

>>376 Get to know him. The closer you get to him, and the more he opens up to you, the more you will be able to read him. I have a decently good talent for reading people as well and it gets easier when you know more about them. If you are looking for ways to get close to him, just make it a habit to start conversations with him. During band practice try and practice together if you both have parts in the same song or even just improvise. If you mess up or something, try to laugh it off. Once you get to know him better, continue to build your relationship with him. Sometimes you just have to put yourself out there and go to them. I wish you the best of luck!

asdf

Thanks, I'll keep an open mind to all of those. But yeah, I don't like to ask anything of anyone usually, but at my age, if you say something to someone at school, it goes everywhere, really fast. I wouldn't risk something like that, because even though I basically hear a lot of things that go on and I'm basically an encyclopedia of secrets, I wouldn't just tell people. Not for free, anyways. Even though I really want to try going through with these suggestions, we can't really talk much and I can barely look at him without tensing up. He has his own circle of friends- all dudes- and he doesn't seem to be the one to like to hang out with girls AT ALL, but he seems rather open. The thing is, he is really oblivious too. I could literally go up to him and basically tell him that I like him, even though I have yet to completely confirm this, and he would still be confused.

I still don't understand the expression though, it's kind of unorthodox and I haven't seen any other living being do it before. It's like he's either really surprised, or really scared, or really nervous, or some other extreme emotion, because it's sort of weird- no offense to him- and I don't think I understand it at all. What would a boy normally do if they liked a girl?

And by the way, he also kind of looks like he's being electrocuted or stabbed when he makes the face, or both...

I have a major problem. My girlfriend is going off to college very soon and I have no way of seeing her. We are going to break up before she leaves, but I don't want to do it over the phone or internet. Help?

Set up a big night out with her, have one last night together and say everything you need to say then so you can get it off your chest, then have the break up done there, that way you at least had one last night out with one another before she has to go :). And I'm sorry to hear you guys have to break up, but I'm sure you both will be ok

Thank you Doug. I'll try to do that. Thanks for the help.

>>371 From the description of his expression, i would say it's some kind of surprise or nerves that he attempts to keep from being expressed. That or he has a medical problem causing sudden pain, him to be suprised easily, or muscle twitches in his face. I cant help you with the face unless i can see it, which i cant. As for the question about how guys act when they like someone, it depends on the personality. Shy people will keep it to themselves and aviod the person. An "admire from the distance" kind of mind set. If the person is rather social but not exactly confident in himself, he would probably slowly build a relationship. If the person is over confident in himself, then he will probably go right up to her and ask her out on the spot. This is all considering word doesnt get out that the person likes the girl(or the other way around). If word gets out, peers will probably attempt to push the two people together, which usually ruins any chance with the person what so ever.

This definitely isn't a picture of the guy, and it looks pretty much nothing like him either, but this is basically what the face he makes looks like.

>>377 *innocently passing through the BBS after a fresh kill, comes upon that picture* I screamed like a little girl what the shit is going on.
I don't have any dating problems, but my lovely best friend's boyfriend lives on the other side of the world and neither of them can afford to/are allowed to visit. I'm pressing him to start work again and save up enough to fly over, but he's feeling pretty down about the whole thing and doesn't have the energy nor the drive to go back to work.

>>377 he looks scares out of his mind... why the guy shows that expression, i have no idea why the guy has that face.

Neither do I, but I guess that it was the closest thing I found the guys face in which I was speaking of previously. It's odd, right? Imagine that you may have feelings for someone, and every single time that you did something near him or merely said a single word or phrase to him, he made THAT face at you.

(I am so sorry, this is going to give me nightmares, too.)

>>380 Sorry gameDRIVE, I don't think I can give you any new advice. Get to know him better and decide for yourself, what he wants to say with this expression. I can't figure it out, either. From what I see in the picture (>>377), it is plain weird. Somewhere between astounded, scared, frowning and in the middle of thinking up how to respond.

>>371 Surprisingly, your description of his inaptness in the romantic department fits me just as well which might be the source of my troubles. Now, on to my own concerns.

>>383 Well thanks for trying, I guess. This is honestly one of the weirdest faces I've ever seen someone make, and it's bothering me. A lot. I can ask him about it, I suppose. But thanks for your help, I guess, all of you.

How do you tell, if he's interested in you?

In spite of this heading, my problem is not a dating problem and hopefully won't turn into one. Before you start brushing it off as your regular love-before-dating trouble, let me state some facts:

1. I do not love him.
2. I do not aspire to date him.
3. I do not want to get rid of him, either.
4. I am asexual, and yes, I'm certain about it. (The question is just if I am also aromantic or not.)

Now, the problem: A few months ago, I got to know this guy. A senior from university, friendly, out-going and pretty well-known in my degree programme. We met under unusual circumstances - he was impersonating the mascot of a project I worked on, and I wanted to take on his role which is why he helped me into the costume and why we got to know each other in underwear before anything else. He was quite impressed by my courage because no other female dared to get into this suit soaked in sweat and male body odours and I was keen on playing the mascot.

You know how it is, you exchange phone numbers and start messaging each other for some reason. We got along well due to our common interests (studies, films, computers and video games), and he invited me to go drinking, watch films or play games at his place.
I was busy, so I had to decline in most cases. But to make up for it, I invited him over to my dorm's weekly drinking party, and we chatted till the wee small hours. After that I went to his place for a couple of times to play video games.

Some time after that, it suddenly occured to me that he might be thinking differently about our meetings than I do.
I already told you that I am pretty clueless when it comes to love. It might be due to my asexuality or whatever, but I usually can't tell if something is going on between people like flirting etc. unless it's painfully obvious. When I was younger I didn't get dirty jokes at all, though I have improved by now. I also tend to be sociable and friendly towards almost anyone, even more so if we share some common ground.
To top it off, I live in a city where the majority of the students is male with a small number of ordinary single women. Fortunately, the distribution between sexes in our degree programme is more or less even.

What made me think about this matter was his behaviour. Sometimes, he seems a little bit too eager to meet when I suggest something, going as far as wanting to cancel his previous meetings with a girl friend. On other occasions, he is perfectly normal and laid-back, which I prefer.
I made sure to let him know early that I'm not looking for a relationship, and he did acknowledge it by saying that he was just looking for a gaming buddy and he wouldn't conduct any anatomical studies when I went to his place. On the other hand, being too obvious in a city like mine is plain stupid because it would scare away any decent female company.
Then he tends to get quite touchy-feely like standing close or stroking my back when I'm playing a game. I have politely told him off in some cases because I'm very ticklish and it bothers me when I'm attentively trying to solve a puzzle. However considering his personality, he could just be one of those people with no sense of personal space for all I know. Now, say that women are difficult to understand.

You get the picture, right? I like him as a friend but I have never fallen in love, I'm not even sure if I can fall in love at all, and I need to know if I have to state my point of view more clearly in the future.

Thanks for reading this huge rant, and I'm looking forward to your advice.

I get the picture.
My advice is - better safe than sorry. How you choose to secure his understanding is up to you. You can confront him, which could turn out awkwardly (but only if you make it awkward), or hilarious (if you are people who can laugh it off) or a variety of other ways, depending on how you phrase yourself. You can remind him of what you said before about not looking for a relationship, or even expand on your reasons. You can make subtle gestures which indicate that you only think of him as a friend.
That said, I think that you have already stated your intentions quite clearly. The onus is equally on him obtain closure if he thinks anything has changed. If you are feeling some sort of increased responsibility over how he thinks or what he thinks, don't. Do your part, and trust him to also be mature and thoughtful about his relationships.
Good luck

i've never dated or liked anyone

>>386 Thanks for your advice, Saika! Adressing this matter directly is a bit difficult for me because I don't want to bring up my asexuality anytime soon. I'm quite open about the fact that I've never fallen in love but I haven't really come out to anyone but my best friend - actually, she was the one to realise that I'm asexual first *chuckles* - and my close dormmates who are rather confused than disturbed by my lack of sexual orientation; they have come to accept it eventually though.

I don't feel close enough to the guy to talk about something this private, so I'll stick with the subtle hints for now. It's just that I feel bad for always rebuffing everything that has to do with dating in front of him. He might get the wrong idea. I don't want him or other people to think that I hate love and relationships in general.

That's why I asked for signs to determine if he's interested or not. If I knew he wasn't, I could just stop all this forcible refusing and wouldn't have to worry about being misunderstood. But I guess, it's not that easy *sighs*


>>388 Don't worry, charli, you still have enough time to experience these. And even if it weren't to happen, not falling in love or dating aren't as bad as society and the media make it seem, either. Otherwise, all the asexuals and aromantics wouldn't be this content with their life.

For all those who are wondering about these terms, asexuality means that you don't feel any sexual attraction towards people, and aromanticism stands for not feeling any romantic attraction. You can still feel love for your family and friends though. If this shouldn't apply to you, rest assured and just wait for love to appear at your threshold and open up when the opportunity arises.

Yours, the asexual Litair

My last relationships was really great, actually, I really liked her. The time we had together was a blast. The bad part was that when we got together we knew that she was going to New Zealand and I to London, so we had about a year of LDR.
She was really great when I think back to it, but when about a year was over and we were close to see each other again for Christmas, I started freaking out. I was and am insecure about my looks, I was surprised she confessed to me in the first place. So I chickened out. I was afraid if we saw each other again we might go to second base and beyond, so I broke up with her. A month or so before Christmas. Told her I didn't feel so much for her anymore. It was sort of true.
Still, I feel like an idiot and a**hole for it. She cried of course. We saw each other again afterwards, we talked normally , she thanked me for my help in preparing her for university and giving her advice.
I still think of her so often, I really feel stupid for breaking up. I might still love her, but that train is gone. Sometimes I wonder what could have been. I had a good relationships going (my first stable one even) and ruined it myself. That's what my anxiety made me do.
I guess I only posted this because I'm anonymous here, so there you go. If you read that, then I guess what advice I would give is to not ruin your own relationships. If you're feeling anxious, talk about it with your loved one. Don't just keep it secret and try to run away.

>>388 I'd like to say it will just happen, it did to me. However, some action is required. It likely won't happen unless you have other people you interact with. I would say though don't focus too much on it, most early relationships don't last very long. You got plenty of time to find someone.

My life has jumped leaps and bounds ahead of everything I know how to deal with in the last few weeks.
I got together with one of my best friends, as a result getting over my crush that I've had for 6 years. She's my first GF and I'm genuinely happy with her. There are so many new things I have to learn and so many new feelings that I don't feel up to the task of loving her the way she deserves.
I can't even say for certain that I can love her the way she needs. She's loved me for years and my decision to be with her was actually spontaneous.
I feel overwhelmed... She wants me to stay with her forever (not figuratively she actually means it). It may be that I'm just nervous and it may be that I'm too inexperienced, but it might also be that I'm unable to love her. Being with her is nothing like my old crush. I have no clue if it'll work out...

I was in junior high when I had my eyes on a girl. We actually got along quite well but I never managed to ask her out or anything. I told people (3 to be exact) who may be able to help me hook up. At some point it got out, never hooked up, she doesn't talk to me anymore and now I am in college. I cannot ask anyone out let alone try to get close to anyone because of that. I really hope I can overcome my fear soon. It's not fun being alone.

>>392 I don't have a girlfriend, and never had, but I'll try to help you.
Don't you see you're thinking too much about your old crush?
Maybe it's just my opinion, but you should stay with who loves you and makes you happy. Also, be open with your GF and stop contrasting your old crush with her, or you're just going to be frustrated. Let the past be on the past.
Hope I could help...

>>391 Thanks for sharing your story, Last Blade! It's sad that you broke up with your girlfriend in this way but maybe it was for the better. At least, now you know what your problem was and you won't repeat your mistake. Do you still have trouble with your anxiety? If you do, do you know what causes you to feel so insecure that it made you split up with your girlfriend? You should make sure that your anxiety issues are resolved. Otherwise, you'll encounter similar problems in the future.

>>392 Congratulations, My Melancholy! I'm sure things are new and exciting for your girlfriend as well. How you talk to her about your concerns? If she is one of your closest friends and she's been unrequitedly in love for you for some time, she'll understand your insecurity quite well. She probably knows about your old crush anyway.
Once you've confided her in, it will become easier for you to move on and make room for your new relationship. Perhaps, she too has some things she wants to talk to you about? Seize the chance and lay the foundation for some open and honest communication. I don't know about love attachments but it helps a lot in friendships.

>>393 Sorry, I can't help you much with that since I've never fallen in love before, but I'll try anyway.
If you're so hung up about your former love-interest, do you still love her? Then it would be normal not to be able to start a new relationship. Or if this isn't the case, could it be because of a lack in self-confidence?
Why don't you try to become friends with some girls you're interested in and check if you still have the same problems asking someone out? It might be easier for you to ask a friend out.
And if you still can't, don't rush yourself. Either try to overcome your old crush or build your confidence by joining a club which requires you to perform in public - nothing boosts your confidence as much as a successful live-performance - or do whatever you consider appropriate in order to tackle your problem.

So there's this girl. She drives me insane. I saw an angel. Then moved away. I'm back now, a good four-five years later. But the whole time I was gone, she remembered me. We talked every now and again through chats and whatnot, but nothing big. I see her again for the first time, I still love her more than life itself. She out of the blue decides that her and I are best friends (not in the friendzone sense, but in a similar sense to how married couples call their spouse) So many times we have proven to be soul mates/the same coin/yin-yang/some other cliche, our likes/dislikes and past is the same in every way. Hell, everyone out here thinks her and I are going to get married one day. We talk as if we live together sometimes when her and I joke about my "new apartment" pipe dream. She says things like "you'd come home, and see all my clothes and crap everywhere. My gross vegetarian food would be in your fridge. I'd be passed out on the floor taking a nap." She's comfortable talking with me as I am with her. We truly are best friends, soul mates, whatever...

But she is in love with some douchebag.

The same douchebag that has broken her heart like umpteen times. All her friends think the same thing, that this guy just... Whatever.

To make it worse, everyone out here seems to have her in their "top 10" crushes. Some love her more than others love her... Despite it being common knowledge to everyone but her by now that her and I were meant to be and that I love her more than all of them. But the fact remains that many have tried and failed with her. Except for Douchebag here, who manages to crush her; rip her wings off; but gets her back because he was her first love. First love is powerful crap mind you, so I don't really blame her.

I'm not the best looking. And the fact I'm a Dollar now can prove my social life. I'm not the worst looking though; I have a few things really going for me (depending on the day.) I'm a great friend to have around, ask anyone. I cheer people up that have had bad days almost weekly now; and just stopped my second or third person from committing suicide. But I feel as if in the back of her mind I am nothing more than a backup. A reject. Just someone that's "there." I've been in love before, but never to the scale I have been with her. She's a great friend. A really great friend. Her parents think I'm great. Even her baby brother that seems to hate all her friends giggles and happily plays with me. It feels as if our spirits are just trying to reach out and touch eachother (and I'm pretty sure she's felt this too a couple times) but it's not working.

I haven't told her, because I can't tell her. I know she'd just say no, and after a no like that; you don't go for a second chance. She is the one. I can't blow it. I just have to get her on another date and let things happen, THEN tell her. I don't know why I'm telling all you guys this, just feels good to vent you know?

>>392 Just make sure you talk things out and don't just decide them for yourself, it's a mistake I think I made. Especially if she says she wants to be together forever, that can put a lot of pressure on you. I was pressured in a similar way, which also made me bit uncomfortable.

>>396 Ah, thanks for your concern. My anxiety probably stems from my looks (I don't think I'm very attractive) and my feeling unworthy. I didn't really feel like I deserved her, although as I learned more about her she seemed less perfect than I imagined her, which was good in a way. I'm not sure I have overcome it yet, but I do hope I learned from it, and I do think I have gotten used to myself a bit more.

>>397 Venting can indeed feel good. I guess all that is to say then is Good Luck!

I had a relationship with a girl and we had a very good relationship in the beginning. After 4 months (note this was the bigger relationship for the both of us) we decided to take a small break and talk again in a few months, because we would talk all day from facebook/skype and when we were together we would only had sex. Nothing more nothing less, and it bothered us both since we saw the relationship deteriorated into something we didn't want.

A few weeks after our break up, my mother told that she called her (without my knowledge), cause her and my gf would talk a lot and enjoyed the company of each other. My mother, was worried that she broke up with me cause of another guy and she learned that it wasn't like that and she needed time to think.

We have spoke a few occasions but now but they felt a bit weird for both of us. We want to go out, and we will soon.

But I've met a girl from a group of friends, we hanged out a few times in public meetings. We also talked a lot over facebook seeing that we had a lot of common things we like. She also informed me that she recently broke up with her ex, with a big smile over her face, and that a guy she's talking a lot is only a good friend. Finally when we went to the sea a week earlier, she was hugging me or we were holding hands at random moments.

So, I'm a bit confuse because, with my ex we decided to talk at the end of the summer to see if we will be back together, after seeing how we would feel. Also, I don't know what I should do with that girl but I don't want to be an idiot and something that will hurt the other. I'm thinking both of them and I'm in a weird mindset right now. So any help will be appreciated

There is this girl and I can honestly say that I have never felt this way about anyone (probably because she made me realize that I'm lesbian) ^_^ and I'm out with close friends and family but not everyone because I'm on the softball team and they would freak out but she is great. This year she was seriously sick and stayed home from school for about three months. Then when she did come back she only went to one class a day which was not a class where we were both in (I had two classes with her) so I didn't see her much anymore. I saw her a few times though and she did come up to me to talk so that was nice :) but after a month or so she got worse and had to stay at home till the end of the year which was not too long about half a month. that made me pretty depressed because I couldn't see her anymore. So before the year was up I was going to give one of her friends a letter to give her. I was basically pouring my heart onto the paper. I didn't know how to start it so I kinda put it off for a little bit but once I finished I had my friend read it to see if it was good enough and she said that it was fine so all I needed to do now was rewrite it so there were no errors which was fucking hard! because I used pen but oh well. but here is the weird part! no joke right as I finished the letter I get this text from an unknown number and it says "Hi this is Lauren. You're taking running start right?" and I just about have a conniption fit! I could not believe that she texted me! it was crazy. so we talked a lot and now we are going to take some classes together :D After that I really wanted to keep talking so I was just saying kinda random things and she just responds with a haha and says that she wants to hang out over the summer. so then I really did have a conniption fit...jk but I was extremely happy. we kept talking for hours and after a week or so I asked her if she would like to go see a movie and of course she says yes :)so the day comes when we are going to see the movie and she texts me in the afternoon and she asks me if I would like to come over before the movie and I had a softball tournament that day so I text her saying I would love to but I have to take a shower first. so skip forward to when I'm done with my shower and I'm on my way to her house. I get lost haha but I find it eventually and I was so nervous!!! but it was actually really fun! we went paddle boarding because she lives on a lake and just talked. then at the movie we couldn't find goodish seats so we sat in the two handicapped seats by themselves. then in the middle of the movie she swings her legs over her arm rest and leans her back against my shoulder. ahhh! I cant even deal with it! she just stayed like that till the end of the movie. she was very friendly towards me and I thought that was well awesome! but unlike her because I haven't known her that long and I don't think she acts like that with her friends. I mean I always thought she was quiet and shy, but there have been more occurrences like that. for instance we went to the zoo with my three best friends and she was walking really close to me and my friends know I like her, so they ditched us xD but she was talking about how she didn't mind being lost with me. I might just be super optimistic but I think she might like me back. oh yeah and she invited me to her cabin... haha and I'm going. too bad her family is going too ;)

>>397 You just have to wait for her to figure it out. I'm pretty sure she will. But you need faith. And patience.

>>399 Don't think about breaking any of their hearts. You need to choose what's better for you. And the price is breaking one of theirs hearts. Just one. Since when you met your ex is just for sex I don't see that much of a relationship. So I would pick the new girl. But is up to your choice. I break a few hearts, not intentionally, but I did. I only realized it later, but what is done is done and I regret nothing. Even if this sounds mean. When I started a relationship (my one and only) and there was an ex in it, I just got myself out. It hurted me like hell, but I'm alive. And the "main character" got back with the ex and then after a 3 month they broke. So I guess my relationship with the "main character" was much better then the one with the ex. I'm happy for getting out of the ecuation and I saved myself from more pain. But I'm not sure that is what you need to do...


>>400 I'm happy for you two :) You're getting along well and why not? I don't want to scare you but I know this girl, let's call her Dora, which is not lesbian(or at least that's what she claims) and she's fake. I mean she gets in the toilet with other girls and is all that lovey-dovey around girls. I have a very good friend, a girl let's name her Blue, and Blue told me about Dora that Dora is getting in her arms and touch her like Blue is her boyfriend. But Blue is my best friend and I know the guy she likes. But this Dora is either lesbian or is she lying about her orentation, but either way she act like your crush. I suggest you to tell her straight since she acted like this. She might have feelings for you, but I hope not she is not like Dora which is fake. Everything about that girl is damn fake.
I wish you good luck and go for it ^^

I've never known that one day I'd ask something here, but here I am.
In a forum I've known a really nice guy, and we chat pratically everyday in a group chat with a lot of other people. We live in the same country but we aprobably from each other, and i know that we'll probably never meet. I think I've a slight crush on him, but I'm not totally sure. The problem is: he has a lot of girl friends, and I almost certainly know that he has a crush too, an his old friend probably. I don't know him a very lot, but I'm sure that he's a very nice and interesting guy, not to mention funny. I've got quite a problem of self-streem, I'm really shy and i consider myself ugly, too. I don't know if i should confess or not. I'm scared that, after telling him the truth, I'll lose him as a friend. Will he look at me in the same way? Will I be able to talk to him again? What should i do?

Okay, I am one of those guys who wouldn't normally be in any kind of sexual relationships until they are out of highscool. However, recently I met this girl. Now this girl is a bit of a jackpot to me, it took us a while (due to me being retarded) but we finally got into a relationships, after knowing each other for a couple of months.

The problem is now, though. I can't help it, any single thing happens and I immediately expect, and sort of half hope for the worst. We go to different schools and she is really good friends with a guy at her school, and I can't help but be insanely jealous. I can see how he would even be better than me, it just makes me terrified that he will take her. See, when I got together with her she was having a really dark mental period. Now that I've helped her become happy again, I'm afraid that I have lost my use to her, and he is the better one to be with when she is bright, active and cheerful. Every single time something, even as minor as her taking more than 2 minutes to reply, happens, I start to flick back into depressant mode. It doesn't seem to be getting any better, is there any advice people could offer me on how to be more logical instead of being insanely jealous and angsty? It seems that the better the relationship gets, the worse my mentality becomes.

>>404 You helped her when she was going through a dark period, so I imagine she would like to help you through yours. Try sitting down and talking with her about the situation, and see if that calms you down.

Ok, ive been best friends with this girl for three years, a little while after we met we dated for a month then (and neither of us remember this happening)we broke up. we stayed really close and while I watched her jump from boyfriend to boyfriend (never lasting more than about 3 months)I was almost always single, and even when I wasn't I still had feelings. On a few occasions she would feel the same way towards me but we wouldn't date again for some reason. Well very recently this happened again and she said she loved me, I returned her feelings and things were looking good. we hung out the next day and just as I was about to ask her out she said to not to. I don't understand whats going on whatsoever..

>>404 Well, update, I got depressed and drunk, then wrote a long message talking about how we should break up because I wont be able to make her happy. Really regret it now, and will have to see how she reacts. I actually have another question now, though. How do you try to resurrect a relationship that you fucked up with your own incompetence?

>>407 Well you go as far as you can to apologize and try to make it right, get her something nice, tell her your sorry for everything and that you love. And also tell her you were drunk, cuz that would actually help put context.

>>406
I don't want to call myself a woman expert here... But it sounds to me on a deeper level she really really trusts you. If she said not to ask her out, she could have some unresolved conflicts she wants to deal with; in which case you need to do the respectable thing and let her resolve them. Offer your hand, show her you're at her side no matter what, in whatever situation. The blind optimist in me says she wants to wait for you, as in she wants you to be with her forever; but knows these are troubling years ahead and doesn't want to risk losing you this early. But that's just my guess, I'd need to actually meet her to actually get a good judge of her character. All else fails "girls be crazy" is a great motto to live by...

The girl I like is most definitely not into other females and I am screwed.

>>410
Wow, if you read up you'll notice a lot of other people in the same situation! They already got a lot of advice which I reckon will be better than mine so make sure you read that too!
Are there any other details you're willing to give us? If not, that's fine too. I remember seeing you around here, your life seems pretty complicated already!
Anyway, I'm really sad to hear that from you, I know how much it hurts for love to be unrequited, although I haven't been in the situation where it's unrequited because of being the wrong gender for them. My advice to you is to look out for yourself first and foremost. You're not screwed! There will definitely be other fish in the sea, I promise! Depending on the situation.. it might help you to take some time to clear your head and not talk to her for a while. Hope you'll be alright. Shoot me an email if you need anything :)

N-no one still helped me with my problem. Sorry to bother, but I'm quite sad about my situation.

>>412 then point it out again, without being angsty and attention craving.

>>402 I would reccomend not to. An online relationship can probably go bad in many ways. Especially since he already (from what I undertsand) talks to alot of other girls. People on the internet can also Lie, and if he is talking to other girls in the way he talks to you, he is either flirting gratuitisly or is a naturally affectionate and sweet person to everbody he meets.

But yeah I would advise against this.

>>413 Why're you so grumpy all the time? Every other comment I see from you is being annoyed at someone else haha. Give people a break.

>>402
Hey you. Love is a beautiful and mysterious thing, isn't it? It happens in the strangest of places, I mean, who would have thought that you'd fall in love online? Love takes us by surprise, and sometimes it takes us to places where we'd rather not be. That's why I'm going to have to agree with CeltysCat in saying that confessing to him might be a bad idea. I'm saying in the sense that - if you haven't already considered the risk of confessing to an online person, please consider them now.
I think the best course of action is to get to know him better, okay? You said you don't really know him that well, so that shows that it would not be a very wise decision for you to confess or whatever now. You must protect yourself, first and foremost! And it looks like there's a lot more things you need to help yourself with, like your self esteem. Girl, how will anyone be able to love you to the full if you don't love yourself first? I don't mean to say that no one will love you, but it works practically like this: in relationships, people need to work out how to love each other the best they can right? The best and fastest way for this to happen is for each person to be guiding the other person, and you can't guide someone in loving you if you don't know how to love yourself. Got it? Find things to love about yourself. Don't call yourself names like 'ugly' until you've gotten to a point where 'ugly' is like a badge that you wear proudly. In the words of Tyrion Lannister, a fictional characters from Game of thrones: “Never forget who you are, for surely the world won’t. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armor yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.”
Don't confess to him now, okay? I can tell you're not really sure about what's going on and what you should do. It's best to get to a place where you're absolutely sure you won't regret what you do than to do things with half a heart and then end up miserable if things mess up. Good luck. :)

>>411 Not entirely sure what you mean by details, but here's what I've got. She's my best friend at school, tall and intimidating but a wimp when it comes to fighting, so I tend to look after her a lot. She's cute, funny, and has great taste in music. She has another close friend who she's known for far longer and probably likes a lot more, though that friend isn't at school often. But when they are, I basically get left behind. I'm not the kind to get too attached when it comes to love so I don't mind that she'll never be into me that much. It's still kind of annoying, but I'll get over it eventually.
Also, you are a complete sweetie. Thank you for being such a lovely person.

>>416
Hi dear, when I said details, I suppose I meant the details that relate to exactly what your relationship is like and how she has shown herself to be not-open to same sex relationships, but I guess you kind of supplied some of that now, so that's good! I'm so glad you have someone like this for a best friend, although if you feel like she's leaving you out when the other friend is around, it's totally okay to confront her with your feelings. No need to be angry, just let her know 'hey, I'm sure you wouldn't do this purposefully, but I feel a bit left out when X is around.'
She could have multiple reasons for this - an obvious one is the fact that X isn't around as much, so she might feel the need to 'make up' for the time that she misses with X that she already has with you.
Anyway, I'm glad you have some optimism in getting over it as well. I know it's a lot harder than you make it sound, but stay strong! It's definitely not worth it for a lesbian to pursue a straight - it'll only end up in heartbreak, so you definitely made the right decision there. If you are always this wise, I'm sure that all your friendships and relationships will eventually turn out just fine!
Good luck

>>416 Oh I didn't see your comment at the end. Thankyou so much! That really brightened my day. :)

I'm so done. With everything. Happiness, love, goals, life. I knew it was impossible from the start, why did I even bother...? I've been holding onto just a sliver of hope for so long, hope that maybe I can get the one thing I've wanted for all these years... Who could have ever thought an angel so beautiful, so euphoric, so perfect could make me so miserable? So WORTHLESS?

I LOVE HER.

Plain and simple. She'll never knew the extent of how much, and she probably never will. I know she is the one. All those times I've loved and lost, all those pains, all those joys, all those stupid meaningless moments in my life... Having her as a constant, her in my life; the bad feelings become "worth it" for the good feelings are immeasurable from even just a smile. I've helped her up. I've stopped her from falling. I have done insane things, just to keep her from feeling down, to stop her from forgetting people care, stopping her from forgetting she is important...

I LOVE HER.

She has helped me through so many of my difficulties. Tons of my mental complexes I've had for YEARS, are suddenly just... nonexistent from merely a couple chats with her. Being around her, even if we aren't saying a word, blows my troubles away. As if merely being in the same room fights back all the negativity of the world. Looking at her, no matter what others say, she looks so perfect in my eyes. So much 'light' is coming off of every hair, every flake of skin, every freckle; every move she makes releases stars, and in her eyes I can see our future. All of it. Laid out in front of me. Every second with her, is stretched into a lifetime; but rather than feeling exhausted... I feel a life well spent. I feel addicted. I feel nothing but a lifetime worth of happy things.

I LOVE HER

Could it be simple unrequited love? Could it be, that all I have seen in her for all these years is just a lie? I cannot find anyone like her. I have looked. Sure I haven't personally interviewed all 8 billion: but realistically those within my common age group, those that even come close to meshing well with my personality, and those I can have a good time with... Not to mention the probability of me actually meeting them in the first place, I won't be leaving the US any time soon. Probably not ever. Finding someone better than her, or exactly like her, or a variation of her is not going to happen.

I LOVE HER.

If I did. If I found happiness with someone else. And I know I could. I have plenty of friends, plenty of old crushes even, that I know I could go back and have a happily ever after with. But... I don't want it. For some reason, some stupid, pathetic even, reason. I just don't. I can't have this girl, the girl that can give me the feeling of all I would have ever wanted in just a split second... Going with someone else, even someone else I have loved in the past... After a love like this, after knowing how great something like this could be in my life... It feels wrong. Wrong, and cheating myself. Like settling for reaching in a completely opposite direction. Completely reworking my entire life, again, to convince myself that these feelings I had for this girl I love were fake? Convincing myself that all I wanted is a different girl altogether?

SHE DOESN'T LOVE ME.

She has a boyfriend damnit. A boyfriend that has hurt her very badly in the past mind you. A boyfriend that has ruined her life, that has caused her so much emotional grief that I FIXED BY THE WAY. That I SPENT HOURS ON END TALKING TO HER ABOUT. And even then, after all our time together, she has the nerve to tell others that it just won't happen between her and I. That nothing will ever happen. She never said it to me, but rumors circle back. Sometimes people look over your shoulder at what you text. Sometimes people read your expressions better than you think you're hiding them. Sometimes those that love you more than life itself can tell when something is off about you.

SHE DOESN'T LOVE ME.

So this is it then huh? I practically traded my soul away to get where I am? Those stupid things I did just to get to a place where I can do more stupid things to get somewhere else to do more stupid things to get here? Warping all I knew and loved and bringing it 2000 miles away to a new house on the other side of the country to drop everything? Turn tail? Run away? Give up? All I've ever wanted in life, seriously wanted. Not just a "I want school to be over" or "I want spaghetti tonight;" a serious want... All I've wanted was to be accepted. And loved. Whenever I get close to that, I get shot down. Whenever I think I find it, someone else gets it first. Whenever I have it, I am tied down to the other side of the room and it is placed just out of reach... What good am I? I'm a freak. A monster. How can I honestly expect someone to love THIS? Anyone to love THIS? Let alone the girl that embodies a perfect happy ending...

SHE DOESN'T LOVE ME. I don't know what I'm going to do. SHE DOESN'T LOVE ME. I honestly don't know what I even can do at this point. SHE DOESN'T LOVE ME. It's not more than just impossible to make a change. SHE DOESN'T LOVE ME. SHE DOESN'T LOVE ME. SHE DOESN'T LOVE ME. SHE DOESN'T LOVE ME. SHE DOESN'T LOVE ME.

Those four stupid words are all I hear now. My mind just won't shut up. I can't stop. My whole body aches physically. I see anyone happy anymore, and I just feel like I'm taking a baseball bat to the gut. Specifically, right above my belly button, and below my chest. It hurts so badly I roll around just wanting to scream but nothing can come out. Nothing will come out. Nothing can come out. Sometimes it gets dark, and it almost blacks me out. Maybe one day I'll let it. Maybe today is one day.

SHE DOESN'T LOVE ME.
I FUCKING GIVE UP.

I know you're in a lot of anguish right now, Butterfly. And I wrote up a long answer to this that I think is less relevant than what I'm going to say now, so I'll post it as the next comment.

I've had a lot of heartbreak in my life too.
Heartbreak drains the colour out of your life.
But you have to move on.

You said it quite emphatically, but I agree.
You must give up. She made this decision. It doesn't matter if you spent hours on her, people are people and they own yourselves.

There's a lot of pain in this, but don't hold onto pride, Butterfly. Let go. Don't pursue other girls, it's not fair to them if you're so focused on someone already. Just focus on yourself. Do things for yourself. Mend yourself.

It'll take a while.

(old reply)
Hm.
I don't want to sound presumptuous here, but I'm still going to go out of limb and say:
You've really put her on a pedestal, Butterfly.
'Angel' 'Euphoric' 'Perfect'. It's too much. No one is that good.
'Every move she makes releases stars'
Butterfly
you
are obsessed.

Of course you can't have this girl. She's a whole person. She belongs to herself or whoever she gives herself to.
Your feelings for her are, of course, not fake.
But you, you, Butterfly
pull yourself together man.

No one thinks you should just go after someone else if you're grieving lost love and lost time. That'd be weird man. It's not fair on other girls either, if your heart's not in it.

Butterfly.
Maybe this boyfriend of her really sucks. Maybe he's the devil incarnate but this is the choice she made.
I usually advise people to tell their friends if they're making a bad decision in dating someone
but you
are biased, Butterfly. You want her for yourself, your motives are selfish aren't they? You don't care about this guy, you hate him.

She made a decision. The decision was that she would stay right where she was, and she would not be yours.
Ask yourself
Are you expecting some repayment for 'fixing' her emotional grief? Is that not just the job of a friend? A duty? Why do you say 'she has the nerve to tell others that it just won't happen between her and I'? Isn't that the right way to clear up rumours?
People talk about you and her.

Isn't that damaging to her relationship? The one that she chose, regardless of how bad it is and hwo much of a dirtbag the guy is? She chose it. She chose it over you.

I'm sad for you though.
I've had my share of heartbreak.
Be smart about yourself Butterfly.

You shouldn't have moved so far for an uncertain cause, but it's too late isn't it?
You don't want to just be accepted or loved. You want her.
You want to possess this one girl, don't you?
But you can't have her.
Please mean it when you say you'll give up.
There's no point in throwing your life away over one person who doesn't even want you at this point in time.

>>419 Mmm, I agree with Saika. From what I can tell, this girl sounds fucking amazing and you should treat her as such. But you can't let love control you.
I always think of it like this: Love does not equal a relationship. Love is caring for someone, helping them and making them feel good. Whether you're dating them or not, you still love them and nothing is going to change that. Even if they don't feel the same, the least you can do is be there for them.
The girl I'm crushing on? Wouldn't date me in a million years. But I love her and, even if she doesn't love me back, I'm always going to be there when she needs me because that's what a good friend does. She doesn't want to spend time with me? I don't own her. I don't control her. I'll do whatever I can to make her happy - and if being away from me is what makes her happy, then I'll stay away.
Love isn't about being someone's boyfriend or girlfriend or wife or husband. It's about how much you care.
(hahahaha I'm a sappy piece of shit)

Yes, this is some cruddy teenage love thing, but I need advice.
So there are two of my friends involved. One is a good female friend and the other is my best friend, who is a guy. This guy I can trust with everything. We get a long so much and I am grateful to have met him. He's always been there for me and even helped me with my crush. But I got over my crush, because I started to fall in love with him. I knew he liked me at one point, but I'm not sure if he still does. I was willing to take a chance and tell him, but then my good female friend had to tell me something. She likes him. I don't want to ruin our friendship at all. The three of us get along so well and it would be a shame if we all stopped talking. I want to tell her that I like him too, but at the same time, I don't. I don't know what to do!

So, What do you do when you and a good friend both like your best friend?

What a curious situation!
I think sometimes we need to make sacrifices, even if they hurt us. The dilemma is - what to sacrifice?
As someone who is breaking into adulthood, the answer seems clear. I would choose to keep my friends and not say anything. That said, there are quite a few factors here that I don't know about.
So let's talk about two things. Let's talk about thoughts, and then let's talk about outcomes.
Thoughts to consider:
How close are you to this guy compared to how close you are to your friend?
How close is this guy to your friend compared to how close he is with you?
Supposing that you confess to him, are you looking for a relationship? Or do you just want him to know?
Supposing that you tell her, do you know what sort of way she could react?

Once you have considered questions like these, you can move onto possible outcomes which can spring from multiple reasons:

a) The three of you stay friends
b) Your friends start dating
c) You start dating your friend
d) None of you stay friends

The fact that I am not you makes me unconfident about telling you what YOU should do. For all I know, you and this guy are absolutely perfect for each other, in which case you should definitely pursue him and not have any regrets even if it ends up badly.
If you feel like this is just a momentary crush, then it's not worth two good friendships.

Consider all these factors and tell me what you think.

>>423 Polyamory.

>>425
HAHAHA oh Blinking.
(That said, if EpikT and her friends are open to this, why not)

>>424
Okay, I'm closer to this guy more than my friend. I think he's closer to me than her. He tells me things that he doesn't tell anybody else. We trust each other completely. I feel so comfortable around him. I'm a very quiet person, and he is one of three people who I have actually talked to. And even though I don't know about my friend as much as I know about him, I don't want to hurt her. Another thing, when I'm serious about a crush, it lasts a long time. So this isn't a momentary crush.
Thanks a lot for your thoughts. I'll take everything into consideration.

Why fall in love when you can fall on the floor and never get up?

>>428 cuz floors are cold and lame, we don't need floors, we got feet to keep us up :3
>>427 admit to your female friend that you like him, but if he likes her back and they start dating that you'll support them both, if she's your friend she won't flip out on you, and she'll understand.
>>425 lol keeping it real.

>>428 thats when you get life alert

>>428 thats when you get life alert

Well 8 months ago I was living my normal life to my life flipped upside down and I had to move, I had some really strong connections with girls I really cared about.
I have returned to where I live now and left and right I am ignored. There was one girl that I cared about the most and I had liked her for 3 years. Well when I return I am friendzoned by her, then left and right everytime I get close enough to a girl I get shoved in the fiendzone. It hurts a lot. Wat do pls.

>>432 say it upfront. Just be like "hey you're a cool girl and I would like to date you" or something kinda blunt like that. If she doesn't want to talk about it provide a scapegoat (the first few times; don't wanna be ignored forever, hm?) Like "so did you see the futbol game Saturday when ___ was playing ___?" Or something. Stay calm but just let em know. Try not to be too pushy either, just "hey I'm interested in furthering this friendship into a relationship" and leaving it on the table open to discussion is one of the best ways to get them to acknowledge the friendzone is more of a torture chamber than a room of cuddles. Regardless, good luck, my friend.

Okay, here goes a thing.
I'm a senior in high school. I'm in a photography class, and there is a girl in the class who Is attracted to me. This girl happens to be a freshman, so there is a huge Age gap between us, and I only see her in this photo class at the end of the day, because I got to two schools (long story). Add all of this with the fact that I don't know how to handle relationships, and there's a huge wall between us. Homecoming was a few weeks ago, and I asked her to go with me, we went, and it was nice. That night was the one time that that wall did not exist (aside from my awkwardness, that never leaves). I really don't know what to do here, I feel like it's really hard to make an emotional connection with her because of this wall, but I don't want to just let this go or say no. I feel like she's expecting me to finally ask her out, which is a thing that is not easy for me to do. SOmetimes i feel like I'm stressing myself too much over this, and I should just let it go, but I don't want to hurt her feelings. It would be even worse because I'd still have to share a class with her, and the guilt would weigh on me too much. i don't know if I'm making sense at any point, but that's just what I felt like writing, so there.

Hey, I'm in love with a boy since 6 years, I see him two times a year for about 2 months because he live in another country and we hang out alot together, but I think he consider me as a cousin.
What do I do? Please someone help me!

>>434 Sounds like our mindset is rather similar to mine, by which I mean: You're probably overthinking it. Take it from the guy who thinks to the point of crippling himself: Just be open with her and tell her what's up. You'll feel a lot better, and from the sounds of it, it's what she wants you to do. If you don't do anything about it you'll probably end up feeling miserable which nobody wants. I know it's hard to open up but trust me, it's %110 worth it.

>>423
UPDATE:
Okay, so both of them now know. My friend completely supports me and she even teases me about it. And he, at first, said he was okay about it. He acts exactly the same around me, which I'm glad he does. Over the weekend, I lost me phone, and when I got it back today, there were two messages from him saying "I love you!!!"
Thanks a lot guys for the advice! ^-^ I was afraid to tell anybody, but you convinced me to tell them and I'm glad I did. You guys are amazing! I'm just so happy right now. Thanks again!

i want to find a girl who's white, 17 or 18 years old, and is really nice and polite, I want to find romance. Help this lonely kind hearted teen here, lived in Minnesota, St. Paul, East Side

>>438 motherfucker this isnt a dating site, gtfo

>>439 are you always like this? Don't be such a prick!

>>440 At the very least this is not the thread for this.

>>437 i'm glad it worked out for you :) i hope it all goes well. and don't be shy or hesitant to post around here again if you need help.
>>438 yes, this is definitely not the thread to be looking for a date. You should take this to an online dating service if you really want a date. This is for advice, not looking for dates. Especially since we're all anonymous strangers anyways.

asdf

I have been searching for this thread! just ignore the thread i started, I couldn't find this so I made it. here is the problem
So, I really hate bother people with my own person trouble... but, here goes.
So, of course, there is a girl. And I like her and all, but not in the way she thinks. She has started calling me her first BF and we have never even met outside of the internet. Honestly, it's kinda creepy.. now I have a very bad habit of flirting with girls over chat sites (sometimes taking it a bit too far) and that is kinda how this happened. The main problem is I like on of my friends IRL... I really don't want to hurt the girl over the internet, but I can't get here to realize that what we can't really be dating and that it will never work. Is there any way I can break it off without hurting her?

>>444 A) Does this girl know your real name? B) Does she know your friends real names and/or does she have any way of contacting them? C) Is it an option to just stop going on this chat site or change your name on this chat site?

If she does not know your friends and cannot contact them, then you may as well just be straight with her. You two don't even really know each other. I understand not wanting to hurt her, but if she can't get over a person she never met, then there's a problem with her. If you can change your name on this site without her knowing, you could do that and just drop off the map and start a new. If that is not possible, you may want to just stop going on that site, if you just go on it for fun. She may worry at first, but will eventually dismiss the idea and move on. If none of this is an option, just say it's strange having a relationship over the computer. she may suggest a meeting IRL and then you can just say your parents won't let you go anywhere unsupervised or something. These idea's are what I would do at least. Good luck.

>>444 She is a girl on the internet, she is not real.
Just a simulation.
Forget she ever even existed.
Dingus.

>>437
Hooray! I am so glad to hear that! Happy endings are the best.

>>444
Oh silly you. Didn't think someone was going to fall for you did you? Flirting makes people interested in you. It's lot's of fun while you do it, but now you've brought yourself into this situation!
That said, I'm sure you were just naively doing your thing without any malice.
Listen, if she thinks you are dating her and you don't say anything to her, she will be hurt more than you can possibly imagine. It will hurt her more than if you break it to her now. It will hurt her more than if you apologise for her misunderstanding and tell her that you always flirt aimlessly with online girls.
So if you considered this girl a friend or respect her dignity at all, tell her. Even if she is hurt, she'll learn a life lesson, no?
If you don't tell her, she'll learn a very different lesson.
People often think that hurting people is the be all and end all of bad-ness. It's not. If hurting her is for the general good of you and her and everyone she encounters in the future, then why shouldn't you do it?
Make sure you apologise to her, okay? Apologise a lot, because girls have delicate hearts and you played with one without knowing.

dykt

So, I have a long-distance boyfriend back in my hometown but, being off at college, I don't see him much. While I do like him a lot, I wouldn't say I love him. However, since the beginning of the year, I've had feelings for a female friend of mine. I shoved those feelings into the deep dark recesses of my mind because I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable. Then she told me she was gay. Naturally, this completely revived my hopes of becoming something more than friends. So now I have two problems: I don't know if I should go for it with the girl, and I wouldn't know how to approach her if I did. If I did decide to go for it, I'd have to break up with my bf first (I would never cheat) and I have no idea how I should go about that with a long distance relationship. So, Dollars, anyone have any suggestions?

>>450
Ask yourself - can your relationship with your boyfriend be salvaged or revived? Can you do anything to show yourself or prove to yourself that it can't?
I don't have advice on how to make a LDR work, sorry. The couples who seem to be making it work spend inordinate amounts of money and time and effort making sure they see each other semi-regularly and keep in touch online and send gifts to each other etc.

If you feel like your relationship with your boyfriend isn't going to survive, it's better to cut it off now. Call him and tell him you need to talk. How far is he? Can you guys travel to meet each other halfway on the weekend to have this talk?

As for the girl, good luck with that. Confessing and asking someone out is always risky, but often it is worth it.

asdfjh

q3eri

i recently started dating this guy. i really like him!
like really like him..
but our relationship is kinda sudden. we met about a week before we started dating, but it's been almost 2 weeks since we've started dating. and well, our relationship is kinda moving fast. besides sex (at my college age, is this even a big deal anymore), i've been spending nights at his place and he's been sleeping at mine too. so, we've gotten to know each other pretty well, considering how we've both been late for work numerous times due to staying up late at night talking.

and well. things are looking good! but i don't know anymore. am i actually happy with him or am i just looking for a way to not feel depressed? if i am depressed AND feeling better by being with him, how is he going to react if i have a dark day? we talked a lot about his ex too, and i don't know if this is the insecure me thinking this, but it feels as if all of his friends look at me as if "she was better, he could've done better". and it's so intimidating, as if i have expectations to live up to. i've never gotten this from my boyfriend, but i feel it from all the people around him. what do i do? i've only recently become comfortable with myself, and i'm starting to feel like that was being cocky.
i just have a lot of worries about everything, and i'm afraid that it's going to affect our relationship. i feel like this is too soon to tell him anything that i'm actually feeling, because it's a heavy burden to put on someone else. i dunno, i'm just really scared about everything.

i'm especially scared of actually falling in love with him. what if he doesn't end up loving me, and we break up. i don't know how i would handle that, or if i could even handle that. if i'm being suicidal, i think i should break up with him now, so i don't fall in love with him. I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT ANYTHING.

>>454 My friend your worries are something many of us face at a young age. Though it is true you two have kinda started dating so suddenly, if things seem to be ok with you two you should just try to relax and enjoy being with him. Also, spend some more time with him, and open up to him when you feel comfortable doing so. If it seems like he doesn't judge you as less as his ex you shouldn't worry about what anyone else has to say :). However i would recommend slowing things down as well. You two have still just met and started dating. And don't be afraid of falling in love my dear, but be sure that when you start getting these feelings that they are legitimate. So just keep calm and try to enjoy being with your BF as much as possible, and open up when your ready.
If your feeling happy and you really like him, then your probably happy, no reason to think you're trying to prevent depression. And if he's worth the relationship then he'd be willing to listen to your problems, just like you should be willing to listen to his.

>>455
wow, those words are actually a lot more soothing than i expected a reply to be
thank you, it means a lot to me

>>457 your quite welcome. It's what i'm here for :) hope everything works out.

Hello

I have the issue of quite simply we both like each other but we have a history and we're too afraid to ruin our friendship now. Thoughts?

>>460 I think that you should stay friends. If there's a possibility of screwing up in a way that will destroy your friendship (and there almost always is), stick with what you've got. Friendship can be patched up quite easily - romance is a bit harder to fix, and it can go sour much faster.
In my personal opinion/experience, I'd rather keep the person I love at a distance than risk losing them because of something as petty as a relationship.
However, if you really want to be with them in a romantic sense, go for it. Some people can make it work - it all comes down to luck, trust, and perseverance.

I have no dating problems, but I would like to note that I've never been invited to prom in over 17 years. Plus I never had a date in over 17 years.

>>462 Maybe you should get out there and ask, instead of waiting for someone to ask you? It's all up to you. and I'm guessing you're just over 17 years old right?( sorry if you not, just the context sounds a bit sarcastic lol)

Umm okay, so there's this guy I've liked since 3rd grade and about 2 years ago I told him that (6th grade) before I told him we were friends and all but after I told him he started hating me but we still talked at least a little but then a year ago he went to another country and now he's been back for 2 months and we haven't exchanged a word and we are in the same class, and I still like him. I don't know what to do, I don't have the courage to say a word to him and I can't stop liking maybe even loving him... :/

Alrighty, here's the deal... I think I'm in love with this girl I have been talking to for quite some time, this girl has really kept me from killin' myself, doing something to harm another person, or just fallin' off the deep end. But the problem is, if you haven't figured it out, I'm afraid to tell her how I feel. I have a rational reason for being afraid, she has insecurity issues and I don't want her to break heart and I myself don't want to be crushed by rejection... What exactly should I do?

To The Kamikaze. Maybe not the best advice by hear is my thing to suggest. Ask her when the time is right if it is meant to be it is and if it isnt the world moves on. You still have time in your life if she says no you can still be friends. And please for all of us here don't kill yourself yoyu still have a life to live.

>>464
It's a torturous feeling isn't it. I remember feeling the same way when I was your age. Feeling like you are completely in love with someone despite not knowing anything about them.
When you think about it, it's completely illogical, isn't it?
That's because it is. These hormonal feelings are normal in teenagers such as yourself. Trust that it will pass, and don't place too much significance on it. Your hormones are already doing enough of that for you.
As you grow, you will start being able to love people that you choose to love, not just because your hormones are causing you to.

467 thanks I guess you're right it's just that it's been so long that I am starting to think that I'll never stop liking him...

>>466 Thanks! That really lifted my spirits on this topic!

So i like this girl alot my friend is trying to get me and her together but said the girl isn't ready for a relationship and for me to wait. Well that was at least a month and a half ago should i keep waiting to ask her out or not?

>>470 Was it you or your friend who has actually talked to her about it? if it was you, and she already told you she isn't looking for anyone, you should probably wait, if it was just your friend, you should go and ask her about it.

>>470 Honestly? If you really care that much, you should be able to wait. You can try asking again, sure - but know her boundaries and respect them.

>>470 if she full legit said can you wait, then wait. If they did not, either ask or move on. Do not sit there n wait around for something to happen, because it wont. You will sit there n wait for no reason n possibly inevitably blame this chick for friendzoning you by not going to seeking you out when she was done waiting, which would require me to stab you many times in the face.

I couldnt tell wether this would go in friends or dating, so Im just putting it here because it seems more appropriate.

So, I just started dating this guy that i've had a crush on for awhile and some of my friends are very supportive about it, but a part of my group of friends really dont like him and it bothers me. I think that it might be because he's a jock and kind of popular and they're...well...the outcast type. All black, hate the words goth and emo even though they describe them perfectly, pretty much the oppisite of me. They dont like him alot, and that kindo of bothers me. So what do I do?

>>474 well honestly if they don't like him, that should be their buisness. As long as long as they do t interfere with your relationship, I say let them be, and let me hate. But if they start becoming a problem then you should talk to them. If need be, don't hang around them at the same time you hang out with your boyfriend

>>474 well honestly if they don't like him, that should be their buisness. As long as long as they do t interfere with your relationship, I say let them be, and let me hate. But if they start becoming a problem then you should talk to them. If need be, don't hang around them at the same time you hang out with your boyfriend

I definitely agree to what (Doug) says. If they were your true friends then they should be happy for you and be supportive. But a side of me thinks that maybe your friends are uncomfortable with the idea of being near someone whose nothing like them. I don't know you but I get the feeling that maybe your friends are close to you so they are against it. I could be wrong.

i dont know about you guys but my dating problems are really bad, anyone got advice?

You're problem is that you get your friends to ask people out for you, therefore you turn woman aay from you because you apear as a... excuse my language...a pussy

Hell yeah to Doug 476

<<479 says the chick that was his last girlfriend <.<

really courtney, if you are going to piss me off that much i will sshove my hand up your ass and work your mouth like a puppet (the other guys)

I meant 180 not 149 oops

No wonder you're single fag

crazy people

crazy people

is love doc a m or f

f

Kik! dude! You don't just ask random people on the internet that! You are such a creep!

love doc want to hook?

Love doc your a bitch

don't worry Love doc.... I hit him for you....

nice try mate but no thanks

You're an idiot

hahaha should never flert on the internet

What's with the threads being turned into flame wars for you guys?>>483>>484>>485>>486>>487etc.? i'm noticing that when i see your names, you're always attacking one another. Can you take it somewhere else, or better yet, not do it at all?

>>497 Look at the ID's. They are all the same person from 478 on, the same person who was spamming the Java help thread I showed you.

Some people.

Sorry guys were all friends in RL and we forgot for a moment that this wasn't privet chat and we probable shouldn't pick on kiklol for being such an ads whe we could have just hit him in RL agen sorry guys the fighting was all in good nature but the flaming was uncalled fore

Ass* when*

Ass* when*

Ass* when*

dfhfg

asdf

There's a Dollar around in I sorta kinda like, but I feel like the most insignificant and unimportant thing to them. I truly believe they'll never take me seriously when I try to be real with them. They'll always laugh at me, always doubt how important they are to me. We initially a playful relationship, but for me it grew. I don't think it'll be anything more than a joke to him. Because of circumstances, it's not like I"m expecting us to be together or anything like that, but I want to know I hold as much weight to him as he does to me. Flirting with him, talking to him, makes me happy. Scrolling his tumblr and seeing him openly love everyone else but me stings in a way I've never encountered previously. I need to get this off my chest, jeez. I bet this'll get buried, and White Rabbit won't even see it. :/

>>505 I think I know what you mean. but ireally don'y know what you can do about it though sorry :(

>>505 to put it plainly, senpai will never notice you with that attitude.

>>506 thanks for the condolence :)
>>507 lol pretty much

>Asian female, short.
I have a crush on this white guy in one of my classes, and yeah. One lesson, he'll talk to me, ask for me to draw him stuff and everything goes well. Day well spent.
Some other days, he won't talk to me at all and I feel deprived.
I don't get it.

I was trying to get closer with this girl that i have crush on. But i take it way too far, and she avoided me. I noticed it and i ignored it. Her friend, who i talked about the problem, cause she also the people who realize about the problem told me to apologize. But at the day i want to apologize. She left the place, again. Her friend told me, that she said that i deserve no mercy. I still think about apologizing. What should i do?

>>509
Sounds a little like me, not sure whether I want to ask the short Asian girl out. This might not apply to you, but in my case our mutual friends would probably judge me to hell and back if I asked her, no matter what her response was. I'm also not sure whether she's even interested, and some days I just feel like being single.

I am bisexual and yet I have never, ever met a girl attracted to me. I am attracted to a boy on a pheramonal level who has a girlfriend. And, last but not least, I don't even have the energy or the stability to deal with it. How tedious.

I really hate the way i am, i fall in love.. well lust or whatever too easy.. im strong minded and i can get into peoples minds and mess with them.. thats how strong minded i am. I get into Internet relationships too easy..as lame and pathetic as that sounds it happens, and as soon as someone messages me on kik and starts talking to me i find myself wasting hours talking to them. im not sure what to do about it.. and as for irl Ive not dated too many people..well ive only dated one.. and i don't really know how to approach people in real life.. the one partner i had they sort of made the move not me. what should id do?

>>512

Never heard it put like that before O_O

^

My relasonship is a fucking relasonshit!!!!!!!! He dosent want me to come over to his house bc im on my period! I just want some dick! Someone please help me im suicidal!!!

Have a crush on two different girls, one dropped out of college, the other got back with her asexual but apparently homoromantic ex.

>>513 Part of understanding what you should do next is gaining perspective on what you've already done. I broke it down, feel free to ignore as much of it as you please. Until the last section I offer my thoughts on what you've told me and what they might mean.

"I really hate the way i am, i fall in love.. well lust or whatever too easy.."
It happens. You just need to learn to tell the difference between infatuation, occupation, masturbation, compensation, indigestion, introspection, love or whatever else. What defines each of these depends mostly on who you decide you are, but you might've noticed this: they're all much easier to determine in hindsight than while it's happening.

"im strong minded and i can get into peoples minds and mess with them.. thats how strong minded i am."
Being able to get into other people's minds isn't being strong-minded. It can be clever, it can be manipulative, but it isn't being strong minded. Being able to keep your emotions from dictating your actions, being able to avoid entering into relationships with little potential of ever being close (if that is your interest, of course), that would be strong minded.
And speaking as an admittedly manipulative individual myself, I can tell you that getting into people's heads so easily can leave you rather jaded and closed off from those physically around you, which I'm guessing is something you want to avoid. Instead of trying to play with the people around you, spend some time sincerely looking into the interests of those around you.

"I get into Internet relationships too easy..as lame and pathetic as that sounds it happens and as soon as someone messages me on kik and starts talking to me i find myself wasting hours talking to them."
Happens to the best of us. Here's the kicker with internet relationships: there's very little pressure in them. All you get is text, and all you have to give back is text. You don't even have to share anything about what you look like, sound like, act like, until you feel completely comfortable in doing so. Don't like something they said? Stop sending messages. Say something stupid? You can dedicate hours to figure out a good way to backtrack and just claim that you were preoccupied. And in knowing nothing about a person aside from what you provide each other, your mind fills in the gaps as they see fit, which is why you likely "fall in love" so often.


But above all else,
"im not sure what to do about it.. and as for irl Ive not dated too many people..well ive only dated one.. and i don't really know how to approach people in real life.. the one partner i had they sort of made the move not me. what should id do?"
Seems like a cop-out, but honestly, just approach them in any damn way you can. Essentially, it's like "just being yourself", while you still aren't sure exactly what "being yourself" is like in that situation. Things may not go your way at first, but as you go on you'll grow more comfortable with doing it.

That way, when you find someone you really want, you've got the tools you need at the ready.

its a tough society out there and you might never be with the person you love.like me,my so called boyfriend three timed me,it was crazy but it turned out to be real,so i broke with him.many might have the same problems so just move forward,you will meet your other mr of mrs right soon!

I would like some insight, but there is this girl I really like and I get mixed signals from her all the time. Somebody said she had a soft spot for me, but all of a sudden she didn't really text/talk with me as much. Also she doesn't want to borrow my car when she doesn't have one. When I asked her why she wasn't down for borrowing my car, just when hers is out of commission for a day, she wanted to drop it entirely. I'm guessing these are major red flags that she isn't interested in me, but I just need someone else's opinion. I have the nagging feelings there is someone else she is seeing, but that could be due to my paranoia.

Should I back off and try to bottle my feelings up for her, continue trying to pursue her?

>>520 Why would she want to borrow your car? That's just weird unless you're extremely close friends.

It doesn't sound like anything, quite frankly. You didn't provide anything that'd be linked to romance to base it off of; borrowing your car has nothing to do with whether or not she likes you.

Even if she does like you, if there's a situation where you can 'back off', do it. Don't hover over her or try to push your belongings onto her to test how much she likes you or some shit. Either confess or wait for her to confess. Don't 'pursue'. Don't harass. Just ask her in the least awkward way possible :I

I'm sorry to throw this in here, but I just wanted to thank everyone for what they've done for me.
To be honest I just went back and looked up a post I made half a year ago and everything you said fitted perfectly to what I did and what I should have done. I'm indescribably happy right now to see everyone just willing to help a total stranger. I find such comfort in the Dollars.
Thank You so much

It's been more than half a year that I've broken up with my first girlfriend and still get flashbacks about her regularly and think about her. I know this isn't healthy and I've done my best to forget her but just when I think I've forgotten something happens and I remember everything.

It mostly happens when I'm bored and get distracted like in class.

If anybody has any advice it'd be very welcome.

Hey Dantzig!

If this is the first girl you've loved, then it's natural to think about them for a long time after the break-up. The first guy I liked, liked really liked, I was not over him for exactly 13 months later (yeah, I counted). I feel you. It can be hard, but you just have to hang in there and keep distracting yourself.
I know that last part sounds cliché, but if you keep distracting yourself, it helps. But then again, sometimes you just need to mourn. But try to have those times be few and far between.
You say you think of her during class right? Is there something you can do to occupy your mind? Sometimes I read or draw pictures when I can't focus.
Best of luck to you! You'll get though this, you're strong.

idk what to do anymore.
im scared to trust my bf fully....since he started getting attracted to me before we even met because my friend kept on telling him(since my friend,"P" met him and is kinda like really thinks they're best of friends) that "S" my bf will like me before we even met.

i feel like its some set up some guys do.:/

sad part is i fell inlove with him and i found out about this.

i just wanna know your opinions....what should i do?

>>525 Test his strength, determination, and dedication to be with you.

Growing up I saw a lot of abuse from men towards my mother and the boyfriend's I've had were abusive as well. Because of this well at least I think because of this I'm really tense and scared of guys. However as a junior in high school my loneliness has increased and I've started talking to guys but I noticed they all pretty much don't like me even as a friend I'm smart and not unattractive but average and my friend says it's because I'm intimidating my mom says it's cause I'm sarcastic. I'm not sure which of all this contributes to guys not liking me at all, I never considered myself intimidating and sarcastic how do I go about this mess when I've always been like this. Do I really have yo play dumb and always wear low cut like others are telling me? I'm not sure if this post made sense lol

>>527 Play dumb? Honestly? No. You'll find the right guy. All guys tastes are different. Sarcasm and Intimidation don't mean a thing in my opinion, some may even like sarcasm? Sure if you feel your wardrobe isnt all that appealing you can change slowly here and there but do not think for a second you should play dumb. And if you're uncomfortable with a wardrobe change just stick to your normal clothes then.

>>527
I'm in a similar position in just opening up to others in general, since I was abused as a kid. But I think if you find someone that you like, and vice versa that hurdle of being scared will be less. It will always be there, just reduced.

I'm pretty sure there is a lot of people that like you, but you just don't see them that way. That is how it was for me, since I thought nobody liked me till I noticed little things here and there. Of course I didn't like them back so it was hard to notice.

For the most part be yourself, for if you try to be something you are not you will just live a lie. If a relationship is formed on that lie then it will fall apart. You can improve upon some of your flaws, but don't be something you're not.

Uggghhhhhhh

bump

----...

I'm trying to help this girl out. She's a model and her half brother needs money to graduate from college. She said she would reward me with sex if I helped her win but I guess she did it on her own. Now she say she'll do it only after I help her half brother first. She'll only be here for 1 month then leave for L.A. please help? What should I do?

Does anyone know of a good place for me to get a loan?

>>533 She's using you. Leave her alone. That's not fair for you.
>>534 Try the Information Brokering thread on the main board.

asdf

Seriously people stop making your own threads for your dating issues. Chances are someone has a problem similar which has already been answered, and even if it hasnt, your question isnt a special little snowflake, it doesnt need its own thread.

The person I love live at the other side of the earth in a different country, but I know him since almost 6 years and he's very nice to me. I think he love me but I don't know if he considers me as a family or a girlfriend and we never confessed because I think it's a distance problem. What should I do? I don't know if it's to a boy to take the first step or the girl?

>>538 At that distance, gender is irrelevant. Since it would take so much energy just to get together, to meet the other's family, to be any part of the other one's life at such a great distance; it doesn't matter who says it so much as it gets said.

It's very hard to be serious from a long-distance, which is why most long-distance relationships tend to last more between people who were once closer together. Since this can't be done, it's important to know where you stand to each other, and be able to respect the other one's side of things without trying to move mountains.

>>538 you've known him for six years, six years of established conversation. That's impressive, especially for a long distance relationship. I know what you're going through, I'm in love with someone who lives an ocean away, I confessed and it felt like an enormous weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Just confess to him, if you don't do it you may end up regretting it. There's always a chance for a relationship like that to survive, however, realistically the chances are slim; just make sure that you realize that. But there is a chance, and if you want it, go for it. :3

Gonna be quick and simple here because I am tired and there's no one on earth that could get paid enough to read my incipit crap.

I literally have refused to date since I was a freshman in HS (14). I was hurt badly in a relationship that lasted about 2 years, and thus, beginning my 9th year of school, I was done.

I went to 2 colleges, dropped out of both because they were both terrible, and have been living at home, self-teaching myself to code. I made a few friends at the first (my roommates), and joined an Anime club at the second. With said Anime club, this weekend, I went to a convention. Long story short, because of my in-character instincts, I met (and attempted to kill) an extremely attractive Izaya cosplayer. She was actually nice to me, unlike a lot of the other girls I talked to there, and lived about an hour from me. After 3 long days of talking and having a blast, I ended up with her number, after which I said a sad farewell.

Been years since I've done the dating thing. I'll be 20 in August, and I'm a bit... rusty. I don't even know how to begin. I like this girl, but I don't want to sound like a loser and a creep.

HALP?

Also I resisted the urge to make this a greentext story like 8 times. Yay me.

>>541
My relationship experience is less than yours, so I wouldn't say one becomes rusty in that area. The only really relationship I've been in was short lived and it was when I was 19. I am 22 now and almost had another relationship but the girl backed out. I think the only reason why one would say they are rusty is when trying to have game.

Just make some small talk here and there. If they somewhat like you in return it could escalate to something more. But mainly just be yourself, cause why be something you are not. Also if you think something might come of it you could tell them it has been a while since you've dated. They could be more understanding of some stuff you do that might come off as odd.

Even if you do come off as a little weird it shouldn't matter too much if they actually somewhat like you. The person I liked last was quite weird, and kind of a creep, but I didn't think anything bad about it.

Also self image is a big way you might act. Confidence comes with a better self image as well.

well lets see... my girl friend's brothers hate me and after we started going out, a month later they move. they had planed to move two months after the date that they did. now she lives a few hundred or so miles away, so... really I think I'm doing something right because its obvious that the rest of her family hates me. xD...
as far as the problem if its not clear to you its the distance and that also makes it hard to keep in contact.

Basically, I don't know how to act in a relationship.

I've only been in a couple of major relationships up to now in life, and each one has involved me seeing the girl only once every one to two weeks, and having that encounter be incredibly laid out in terms of how to act.

I've recently started dating a girl that I see almost every day now, and I just don't know how to act. I feel compelled to talk to other people, I get way more nervous than I did in previous relationships, and I even treat her like less of a friend than I did before we were dating.

I just don't know what to do. How are you supposed to act when you see them all the time? Any advice would be appreciated.

Bump and grind, etc.

>>545 Just try your best to act and feel natural. Try not to be nervous and just be yourself and treat her kindly and warmly. :3

545
Just be yourself I let awkwardness and fear take over my relationship and I might be losing her
BEST OF LUCK TO YOU

Crawling back for advice.

Update on prior problem: I have no idea if she actually has interest in men.

fuk.

So I literally attempted to ask this girl to dinner not once, but twice, and I didn't bother to ask ahead of time what her sexual orientation was. She definetly likes women, I'm not sure if she is interested in men.

/seppuku

>>549 well if she goes on a "date" with you then she should be interested in men....

>>550 She hasn't. She's had plans both times I've asked, which I understand. Her saying that is also kinda one of my reasonings for questioning it; what if she's just dodging me?

>>551 Give her the benefit of the doubt, she really could just be busy. However, if it continues to bother you then just talk to her about it. :3

>>552 I have. I'm just kinda weirded out about the situation as a whole, and it's causing me to freak out a bit.

Also, bamp.

I have a guy who likes me were friends but iv told him i have no intrest in he what so ever but he wont give up i have told him no at least 50 times (not exzateurating) (also im so sorry but i cant spell T.T)and now hes trying to dirty talk with me over fb and its just so creepy what do i do i dont have many friends because well im different and hard to get along with so i sont want to loose him as a friend but hes starting to scare me

I've honestly had a crush on this girl for like 5 years. Like I'm a junior now and I feel like I should do something, since Valentine's Day is coming up as well lol

Use it

I need help with my long-distace relationship...

Ok here is my situation. I've been in a long distance relationship and last night my girlfriend and I was having a conversation on a different site. I'm not going to go into details of the conversation but at one point before she left, she asked a question. The question was "Do you ever think we'll get married?" I didn't think when I'd replied about how I thought marriage was still a way off because we haven't even been on a date yet, (this is mainly because we could never meet out of school and a month after we started calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend, her family moved to a different state. We've been together for 2 years 4 months.) When she left even without her saying I could tell she was up set about it... and I dont know what to do, or if she accepted my apologies on it... I really need someones input on this...

(Originally posted with my wii as its own thread and I didnt look nor see this tread...)

>>557 I kinda know what you're dealing with, I'm in a long distance relationship, but we're not dating because of the distance (i.e. The Atlantic Ocean,) but we did talk about marriage in general and what we thought about it and if and when a couple should get married. I think that you need to have a similar conversation.
So basically take some time to think of your future and if and when you'd like to get married. Then have a discussion with her about what the two of you would like to do in the future. You'll be able to live together one day which is basically a marriage if you really get down to it, if you feel more comfortable living together for awhile instead of jumping straight into marriage, then just let her know that.
Even if she's planning to marry you doesn't mean that she's setting the date and buying a dress, etc., so just let her be a girl about it X3 she's not pushing you down an aisle right this second so it's really not such a big issue. I hope that helps :3 and don't let distance discourage you!

>>557
Well first off why talk about marriage when you haven't really gone on many dates? I think most people just jump into marriage nowadays, but that is a really long term commitment. Personally I would have to be seeing someone for a couple of years before considering marriage. I would suggest just going on some dates, if that is possible. If not you could take week off and go to see her.

This thread said something about being a third wheel... Yeah, my group of friends is a bunch of people who are dating each other. Like seriously there are 9 of us and i'm the only one whose single, and i've been single for going on 2 years now ._.

>>560 I know that feel. Every friend of mine has either dated someone or is dating someone, it kind of pisses me off :/ And whenever i try and ask a girl out, i really don't do well... Now I like a girl and i don't really know what to do.

Help please?

>>560 the right person will come along sometime, you'll always meet new people :3
>>561 Keep trying! Don't lose hope, make it more romantic, like a letter or flowers, or something cheesy, the right girl will say yes :3

>>562 I did buy her a necklace, and I thought about it... I just don't know how to ask her out though. She's kind of shy and all, so it might be a bit harder for me.

>>563 Hello, I've just started posting here on Dollars. I would like to help... first of all, this girl you like, do you already know each other? Is she a friend of yours, an unknown girl for you? All these things matters. If you just show up telling your feelings so suddently it could scare people. You need to approach little by little. It's not her obligation to like you back, but you can make her start liking you on the same way. Don't you forget it's all about "conquering" their feelings! >:D

Love is important, feelings are importante. But don't you forget about the logic!


(sorry about my bad english, It's not my birthcountry language)

>>564 Sorry for the late reply ^^;

Anyway, I somewhat know the girl, but I don't actually KNOW her. I did confess to her already a few weeks ago, but she said she didn't really know me. I'm just trying to get her to see that I actually care for her and such. I'm actually shy myself, but I'm sure that shouldn't complicate things too much. Lately though, I haven't been able to think straight because of her. Go ahead and call me crazy, but that's what I'm going through. :P

Oh, and bamp

>>565 Call me old fashioned, but in think you should ask her out via a love letter. It wouldn't be face to face so that's a way to overcome the shyness issue. Shyness doesn't have to be an issue though, it can be extremely cute if you look at it the right way. Talk to her, tell her that you know the two of you don't know each other very well but you'd like to get to know her. Ask for her phone number, let her pick the date venue, things like that. Go for it! :3

>>561 Yeahh I know how that goes :/

>>567 Well, I've been really thinking about it, and well.. I'm thinking about giving her the necklace tomorrow. It is Valentine's Day tomorrow, after all...

>>565 You knowing her is always important. But just remember that you just said: No matter how much you love that girl, it's important that you show it to her. But in a not forced way. Feelings are always important, but you got to have the right time. She needs to have some kinda affinity for you in the time you ask for the reply for your feelings.

>>570 Right. That might be a bit of a problem, considering the fact that I don't really know her.. I don't necessarily know how to talk to girls. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't...

Right! So, I attempted to actually give her the present, and well... I kind of flipped at the last second. That nervousness that you get whenever you ask someone on a date kind of thing. I kind of ran, and ended up thinking how stupid I was for doing that. I was wondering though.. Could anyone just point out a few things that I could do to get to know this girl a little better?

>>572 talk to her, that's the best way :3 there's always online communication too just remember that a person can be a little different on the internet which isn't really a bad thing.

I'll try to be more logical again... Do you know friends who know her? if so, ask for their help. For introducing you to her, and for leaving to you the opening to start a nice conversation with her. Wing-man job, I mean.

If there isn't something like that, try to find something you have in commom that she show up. it could be a book she's reading, a videos she's watching, a music she's listening. And use it as an opening to start a conversation. I knew my last girlfriend like that, She was reading a book I knew, so I stopped at her side saying something like "Excuse me, is this book ****** from *****?" and it goes like "hoh! that's nice! have you seen his last book *******? What other author do you like?". So, if you have something in commom this could be the way.

>>574 Alright, I'll try it. And I also do have a few friends who know her, they've been helping me a lot as well. Anyways, I'll keep you guys updated. >>574>>573 Thanks again guys!

This thread has such a Densha Otoko's 2Channel feelings. |D

so two days after me and my girlfriend broke up she told me a boy kissed her. she wouldn't tell me his name but I learned it was someone I knew from a friend of her's. she said it was his "birthday gift to her" but according to her, she was still so emotionally wrecked from the break up that she couldn't push him off. now I cant even look at her anymore with out being upset with her for telling me omething like this so late when I've spent the time we havnt been together checking up on her and making sure she was ok...

I've always wanted a German boyfriend ;____;
But you know.... I'm a shut-in antisocial type of otaku, my friends says that I'm pretty but I dunno 'bout that kind of shit. So idk what to do anymore. Help love experts!

>>577 May I ask why you two are still in touch after breaking up? Because a boy kissing her after you two break up shoudlnt be a big deal. If this is post break-up, why should who she kisses matter?

>>577 Agreeing with what >>579 said, why are you two still making contact after this? she broke up with you already, yet its as if you two are still trying to maintain a relationship with each other. I suggest you move on from this person, and with that, find another who will actually care for you. Its fine to be her friend, but you have to make a line that you know you shouldn't cross if she attempts to actually pull something off. Now, if you actually want to get back with this girl, go ahead. But, try and solve this first.

>>578 And... Well, if you want a German boyfriend, then you're gonna have to search for one first. Don't go for just one type of person, though. Broaden your selection of people. And If you're anti-social, don't worry about it. Talk to the person. I'm kind of shy myself, but that shouldn't stop you from dating someone.

I can't believe I'm saying this but I don't know if I'm in love with my girlfriend. I don't even know if what I'm feeling for her is love.

>>581 Well first, can you give us a better explanation as to what is going on with you two? More specifically, how long were you two dating, and how you met? Things like this can really help us help you out!

It started out like any other relationship. I had recently broken up with my last boyfriend and she for the longest time was flirting with me. Even in the relationship with my last boyfriend I flirted as well. So one day she had haven me a little note in my violin locker. One of those check yes or no notes that asked "will you go out with me?" I was happy to check yes. And so me and her started dating. I being a chick as well made our relationship different for what our usual relationships where. I had only had one other girlfriend before. So I was happy and knew full on that I feel is love. But now I'm not so sure. Turns out my bestfriend, my ex boyfriend, and some other friends want to go out with me. I like my girlfriend now but I don't know. I don't feel like I know if I love her.

We have been dating for almost 6 months now.

>>583 and >>584 you need to really sit down alone in a quiet room and think this through, six months is a long time and if you don't love her then you shouldn't drag it on for another six months. Other people should not be influencing your decisions on this (they might though if you fall in love with somebody else, which does happen sometimes). Does she make you happy? Can you see a future with her? Does she give you a warm and fuzzy feeling? Just keep asking yourself questions and figure out your feelings. It does take time and you could talk to her about it too, couples talk about their relationships and where their relationship is going. I hope this helps :3 good luck~!

This is about a guy I know. He uses me a lot for information (I'm helping him with his girlfriend) and swears. He hits me too (cuz he can be a cocky jerk like that -_-).

You MIGHT wonder why I bother to get along with such a guy...

I think it's because of the times when he was actually understanding and nice. It's only when we chat, where no one can see, and he doesn't swear at all then. He tells me a lot of personal stuff too. I'm starting to open up to him to a bit.

But I'm confused. He can be really nice (and I don't know if it's because of his pride or his short temper), but he acts like a huge jerk in public. Especially when there are other people around. So I don't know what we are exactly or what I'm supposed to do. Can someone give me some advice?

>>586 Well, The person you seem to be describing seems to be scared of showing this side to a lot of people. It could possibly be that he is afraid of people seeing his flaws. I used to be like this... I've come a long way from that time. He just needs to find acceptance. Have him talk to you more. BUT- Make a certain line between you and him, a line that he shouldn't cross, unless you want him to (That's your decision, and I'm not trying to imply anything). But from what I see here, it seems that this person finds trust in you. Do not disrupt that trust. It could be a possibility that he is insecure that he acts like this. So, I simply suggest that you be patient with this kind of person. And well, if he starts acting up like this again, just ask him if there's something bothering him. Maybe if its one of those times where you and him are chatting could be one of the times when you could ask him this question. Any way, Good luck!

Thanks 580. And BTW I'M A GIRL =___="

>>587 Thank you. :) All of the possibilities and advice you've given is very plausible.

>>588 Of course. Just was trying to help is all ^_^

Just gonna bump this.....

on October 1st of last year, i had finally asked out this girl that i had a crush on for a while and it went pretty good but after a month she broke up with me and lied about why she did and continues to lie. now its February 2014 and im still thinking about her. i keep trying to get over her but my feelings for her keep coming back. please help.

>>592 well if you truly had feelings then you won't ever forget them. You just have to move on and keep looking. One line from a song by the canal called lemons, ''get over one girl get on top of another.'' It's a good song thats just one line from it.

>>592 Just like what >>593 said, you should probably move on. To think of a girl this long does show that you care about this girl, and that's respectable. But give it to a girl who's willing to actually care for you, a girl who's willing to do the same for you as you would for her. It'll take a long time, and it's not going to be easy. But you'll get over it, and when you do, you'll realize that its going be alright, and that someone else likes you.

asdf

Guys, just post your relationship problems over here. Its just so that it would make the whole thing less cluttered. Thanks

(I haven't been on here in months btw)
My ex boyfriend who broke up with me April 2013 of last year sent me a Facebook message a week ago. He just wanted to let me know that he was back from boot camp. (He had to stop and leave boot camp for good because he couldn't take the workout, he isn't fat, he got really sick so they sent him back here once he got better) I just said ok. He said "Hey, well just hear me out. I understand I was an a-hole. And I do apologize. I know you wanted to talk, but I didn't have the time. Though Boot Camp changes you, I've had a lot of time to think. I'm no longer the person I was before. Sorry for everything, I know this won't change anything. I just don't want you to be mad. Sorry."
I didn't expect him to apologize ;-; I love him so much, but I'm afraid of getting hurt again if I give in if we possibly get closer again. I was sorta angry so I replied, "you're right, what you say to me won't change anything :(" He didn't reply. After about a week I was thinking about it so I messages him back saying I do hear him and I appreciate the apology and I'm always open to talk. He messages me his number if Id ever be up to talking, so I replied with my number too as well if he was ever up to it. He texted me the next day,we talked about college and jobs. He'll be going to a school back here in town, he's mentioned it a few times. I want to cry. I'm conflicted. He's the old friend who I used to know before we dated. After he broke up with me last April, Ive had 2 boyfriends since, whom u shouldn't gotten to know first because one was pervertedly creepy and the other a touchy feely person ugh. I say I've moved on, but with him it was so much better than the other 2. I love him, I told him a couple months before he broke up with me. We had been together almost a year. Is it wrong to talk to him again? I've made sure to not text him unless he texts me first, which he has a couple of times this week. Idk why he's talking with me again. Idk if I believe him apologizing and having changed because I'm afraid of being hurt again.
I'm hoping he asks later on to meetup or something, I just want to see what he may have to say. I haven't seen him since last April since he graduated and moved an hour away with his parents and grandparents. I graduate in may, I could invite him and his parents to my graduation. His parents and I are like family since we hung out all the time when I was with him at their house. Ugh I don't know anymore.

>>597 you love him. That's obvious. What you really need to ask yourself is "do I want to be with him or do I want to start a brand new life without him?" What will make you happier? Love really is a gamble. But sometimes it's worth the risk of getting hurt because the two of you could really make it as a couple.
From my own experiences something like this happened, only we didn't know each other for very long, he took a break then came back again later, I decided to give him a second chance because I loved him and no other guy was like him... It may sound like a stupid decision but if you believe that a relationship is worth the risk of a broken heart then go for it! It can be hard at times but that doesn't stop me from trying.
Keep talking with him and try your best to figure out if he has truly changed, wants a serious relationship, and whether or not he cares for you.
There are plenty of guys in the world, keep that in mind as well.
I hope this helps! Good luck! ^.^

>>598
ThanK you so much. I've changed and grown since we've been apart, I just hope he truly has too. I think im going to just continue talking with him and just take it day by day, not expecting anything. Really, thank u Neko-tama

Not too long ago,about a couple weeks to be exact,I decided to be a man. I decided to tell my crush the wau I felt about her. Turns out that wasn't such a good idea. Her response crushed my soul. Completely. But,I'm getting over it.

>>600 Well what did she say? Usually girls like it when a guy confesses to them. If she was nice about it, you shouldn't really get too sad about it. Its going to take a little bit, but you'll find another.

>>578 Sorry for the late answer. I didn't look at this thread for months. Maybe you will see this ^^
If you have questions regarding Germany, feel free to ask me. We can use the chatrooms I guess because this topic doesn't belong in this thread.

About what to speak with a woman ?

Dont be a goof, use this thread.

Dating problems? Put them here~!

m.. okay, so i can actually talk to the guy online on chat for hours but when i meet him or see him in person my brain shuts off and reverts to my recluse self. short ended answers with no idea for a new topic... I guess my internet self is a lot different to my real self when it comes to communicating skills.

>>606 Same thing happens here. I can never really think straight around the girl I like, my brain just turns off and the only thing I can think about is her.

I just would try getting your mind off of her. It's not the best, but its something.

Bumpy~

Bump

Bump

Heya peeps, i wanted advice on something...but let's start from the beginning. Me and this girl fell for each other 6 months back..I never asked her out because i wasn't really sure if she was into me at the time, so i never said anything...She ended up moving on and fell for another guy...This guy really didn't like her and he talked to alot of girls so he hurt her feelings pretty badly....After that..she changed...She avoids getting attached to anyone ...like for instance if someone likes her and tries to talk to her she will talk to more than one guy...it's like that event changed her completely and she doesn't trust anyone...I feel responsible because if it wasn't for me she wouldn't have gone down this path of despair...I want to help her out and make her see that the world isn't as black and white as she perceives it.

>>611 You shouldn't blame yourself. You haven't even done anything yet to hurt her so don't try to put that blame onto yourself. She decided to make that event make a big difference in her life and chooses to make those actions in return. However, if you truly want to lead her the right way and believes that she can have a second chance go ahead! I also think people deserve a second chance! But you have to think the many possibly ways that can happen too. Not everything can go the right way (Not trying to scare you or anything lol) but at the same time you never know. Just take a second and think, Will you be able to respect the outcome of her not matter what it is.? I wanted to state out the good things that can happen and yet the bad. I hope this helped you. GOOD LUCK!

>>611 it's not your fault. People make mistakes and then they move on, that's what she did and she's created a defence mechanism that allows her to not let the same mistake happen again. You can try to ease her pain but do it slowly because she's just afraid of being hurt again. Maybe start off as just a friend? Good luck~! ^^

>>611 It's alright, stuff like this happens. You didn't want to risk anything bad happening between you two, and you wanted to make sure. I just advise that you start off as friends, like what >>613 said. You could build off from there, and help her out of this situation. As you do, she could possibly fall for you again. It all depends on what you do. Good Luck!

Thanks guys!
I will take you're advice and report back here if anything changes ^_^

Bump

hi there people.. i wanna share about something and i wanted some advice from you guys ^^
lets just say from grade 7. At that time i still dont know too much about love, and i dont really care( well... i am stiil a little LOL that time), so i dont hit on girls. maybe, i just talk to them normally, and be happy with them. but, one time a girl come to me and trying to have a chat with me, so we begin to get close each other. at school when she had the time she would talk to me, and some time too, she would trying too get together with me. And then, we go and go... she even get my number and messaged me like a dozen times --".
but somehow i dont think i have feeling towards her... so i pretended to extend my realitionship from her, because i dont wanna hurt her for falling for someone that doesnot love her. but, sometimes i begin to think, is it the right thing to do? what if she got hurt because i run away from her??? at the other side i am to afraid to tell the truth...

>>617 You should probably just act like friends. Just don't make it too obvious. Meaning don't be extremely blunt about it. That's what will hurt her. You should just lay her down slowly, just let it play out. She can either A. move on to someone else, or B. stay with liking you, in which you should just calmly distance yourself. But hey, you never know, you could find something in this girl that no one else sees. That's how I got to like the girl I like now :D

Bump

Ok, I'm 16, male, straight, not very popular, and have never been with anyone,

About 2 years back my friend wen out with this girl and then they broke up, about 6 months later me and my friends ex start talking. We've been talking everyday online and in real life for the past year and we grew quite close, telling each other deeply personal stuff and we became really good friends.

About half s year since we started talking I started developing a crush on her, she picked this up immediately and we clarified we'd remain just friends, and I was happy to do that.

However, as time went on my crush on her got bigger and bigger and to be honest I think I've fallen in love with her, in fact, I'm sure of it.

About 2 or 3 months ago she tells me she still has feelings for her ex (my friend) and I felt a little jealous. But I decided to help her any way I could.

About 2 or 3 weeks ago her and my friend get back together, I was happy for them but I was crushed/ devastated, whatever you want to call it, I got so passed off at myself and very angry that I tucked up my knuckles punching things.

However, I've calmed down a little and they seem to be quite happy, I'm a little upset that we're no where near as close as we once were, but we do talk a bit.

In order to try get over this whole thing I decide to give-up on the whole crush and girlfriend thing, at least for a few years, I wanted advice from all of you if you think this is a good idea or not, and if not, what should I do?, if I tell her that I'm upset she'll get passed at me and I want to support my friends so I'm bottling my feelings for now.

Thanks for listening, any advice would be appreciated :)

>>620 just let her be happy, be there as a friend for her, and give up on the crush for awhile, maybe later on you might get another chance with her, if not there are other girls out there too. :3

>>621 thanks Neko-tama :), I will, I just think I need some time to get over her, might be a while.

No one has ever asked me out. I feel terrible at times because most of my classmates look so happy experiencing their first love, while I'm over there sitting ugly. Someone even tried to play with my feelings! It was the worst! That's why I distance myself.

>>623 I know how that feels, but don't let it get to you, don't let it bring down your self esteem! You are beautiful. And it's okay not to trust people right off the bat, people should have to work for your trust. Yes there are people who play with feelings and you may have gotten hurt but all you can do is learn from it and don't let it turn into a regret, there are a lot good people out there keep that it mind.

>>623 Don't bring yourself down, pull yourself up. I'm always going around and dealing with this kind of thing.. The girl I like doesn't like me, but I still like her... And while I'm going through this, all or most of my friends are dating someone, and I'm just usually a third wheel. It would be best not to distance yourself; try and do the opposite. There's always someone somewhere, and you just gotta find them. Its like mining; the chances of finding a gem that matches your liking is extremely low, but when you find it, you love it and hold it dear; and you like every flaw it has, because that's what makes it perfect. Who knows, you could probably be someone's gem?

I don't really think I'm here for advise but I felt I just wanted to tell someone, about 4-5 weeks ago I broke up with my boyfriend, then a week or two after he started going out with my best friend, now I have to sit and watch the make out in school and things and it hurts.

>>626 that's a natural reaction, it's going to hurt for awhile but you did the right thing. He's moving on and so should you, move on with your life and focus on what's really important to you and your future.

>>627 But I haven't had a decent conversation with my best friend since they started going out, when we used to talk constantly everyday, we believe he's doing it to get revenge and they are very close when we're at school (if you know what I mean)

>>628 your best friend is not your friend if that's what she's doing, he's probably doing it out of revenge. You could tell your friend that what she's doing is hurting you because you just broke up. But I think you should find a new best friend, real friends don't do that, if she was your friend she'd be helping you get over him not kissing him in the hallways.

A little update... Well I ended up texting her and asking what was wrong with her because I noticed she was sad in class...well anyway... I ended up saying I wanted to make her happy one day and then she replied with" One Day.." And then I told her I honestly wanted to make her happy everyday..and then she told me to do it..She then told me I only think I love her and I kept insisting I did and she eventually dropped it...What do you guys think? She has these walls up because she doesn't want to get hurt...
She is trying to believe that love doesn't exist and I want to prove her wrong...

>>631 prove her wrong. Just keep at it!

It is very possible that she killed herself....we were talking and she said she couldn't take being here anymore... So she eventually stopped replying after I tried to stop her...ever since she has been off the radar...

I don't know what to do....

>>634 Just wait and see, my fiend did the same thing today, she suddenly just stopped talking after saying I dont know how to carry on, but after a while she messaged me back saying she was going to do something bad but stopped ... just wait and see what happens!

Broke up with my Gf a few weeks ago, well technically she broke up with me I think. Things had been just not going well for awhile, she wasn't happy and I couldn't do anything to change that and even though there was no really huge fight, or reason for us breaking up it basically chalks up to it's not working out between us, and I just hope she finds someone who can make her happy. We've dated for so long, basically 5 years all and all, since there was one small break about 2 years ago, and it's been weird for me... We're still trying to be friends since there wasn't any huge problems so we still talk and hang out but it's hard for me to be around her for to long. I really did love her, and there was a time I never really thought we'd be apart, but I've been having conflicting feelings for awhile.

I just have thoughts of not knowing what to do, sometimes I want to drink, sometimes I wanna fight, others I just wanna fuck, something to change things but I've been refraining from all of it because I know it really wouldn't change anything.
The weirdest thing for me has been that I had sorta forgotten how to be single if that makes sense. I'd went so long thinking of noone but her that I didn't even really notice other women, but now I'm in this weird place. I've waited for awhile before even considering looking for someone else to make sure I didn't just rebound on someone to fill a hole, but now that I've waited out that time and I think I'm ready to get out there I'm not really sure how to.
I've not been single since high-school and even then I wasn't exceptionally social, and now I only have a few college classes and there are rarely girls my age in them. Idk I've talked to friend and a few have suggested possibly online dating but I really can't get behind it for some reason. to me I just feel to awkward going onto a site for the specific purpose of flirting with girls.
idk this has basically just been a rant. sorry.

>>637 don't be sorry. Frankly, I think you need to tell her that being around her right now is hurting you and you need some space. You have every right to say that, and it's not rude or wrong of you to do so.
Don't rush back out into the dating scene, that's unhealthy. What I suggest is just give it some time until you're ready.
Go out and do things when your ready and I mean things that you enjoy, like hobbies, by doing the things that you love, healthy things, you can come across someone that shares your interests when you least expect it and fall in love again.

Bump

Badabump, NEED MORE POSTS TO READ :O

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long distance relationships ugh -_-

I need some advice here, surprisingly enough. I'm presently dating a guy two years younger than me (which is creepy in itself, but he's kinda mature, so I'm learning to get over it). But I'm finding that the difference in age/experience is really causing a bit of awkwardness. When it comes to relationships, I'm more of the submissive type. I don't like to start the conversations. I don't like to start the 'good stuff'. When I'm talking to a guy in person, I have a lot more ease flirting, but I can't really do that online without being obvious. (He lives a bit far away now, so we can only chat online.) The thing is that he has absolutely no idea how to "take charge" in the relationship, I guess. We might as well be friends talking. I don't think I've even had reason to open up to him as much as I have to my close friends.

It's been a few months now. I brought up the fact that we're never really intimate in our conversations. I may like to sub, but I'm not old fashioned, and I want to have more dirty talks without it just being, "Well what kind of sex do you like?" which seems to be the extent of the conversation. I'm just not sure what to do. I can't help but wonder if my expectations are too high seeing as he has no experience with dating? I want to feel like I'm talking to my boyfriend and not my classmate x_x

>>643 sometimes you just have to spell it out for them and explicitly assert what you want in the relationship, which is tough yes, but it's more efficient then waiting for him to figure it out. It's okay to want that and you can always tell him what you want and how you feel, that's how a relationship should work. Even if you're more of a sub, you may have to be the one who "takes charge" in the relationship.
Your standards might be a bit high since he doesn't have any experience. But if it's not working out then maybe you should look for someone who has more experience.
I hope that helps ^^

>>644 I'm not waiting for him to figure it out. I've repeatedly asserted what I'm looking for and how and why as we had the above conversation, but he just doesn't get it. And I can take charge, but the reason I'm asking for advice is because I don't want to. It's a huge turn off for me.

And to elaborate on that, by "doesn't get it", I mean that he's trying his hardest but just doesn't get it.

I don't have the causal intimacy I had in all my other relationships. I don't know if it's good or bad in the long run, but it's exceptionally frustrating. It's like we're so awkward we can barely have a regular conversation, and the only different thing I can find is that he has so much less experience.

>>645 then I guess you're going to have to dump him, and it's justifiable, intimacy is pretty important in a relationship.

>>647 But I don't like that answer :c /whines. (But seriously, thanks for the input.)

I'm still up for anyone's opinions, but I'd like to say I'm not dumping him yet. I'm going to give it a bit longer to see what happens even if there's nothing I can do atm.

>>648 no problem ^^
I like that idea, best to give it some more time and thought before deciding to dump him or not.

Bump for all the lonely, heartbroken nerds on this website.

>>650 You are aware that the website was made to help people? Do you not see the replies on all these posts saying stuff like "this website is my other home" or "This is where i go to for help" Heck, if people don't get laid as much as you do and need help, don't judge bruh.

>>651 calm down. Most of us ARE heartbroken nerds. Blinking didn't mean anything negative by it.

>>651 You did a fantastic job recognising my sarcasm.

So I like this guy in my class, But I don't know how to tell if he likes me. And I kinda wanna ask him out but I don't know how to. HELP! ;-;

I just went through a terrible breakup with my bf who I gave everything to.... He really was my whole world and he just up and left me for some other girl.... I really want to commit suicide because this was the final strand for me and relationships EX: my last bf before him literally stabbed me in the back and also metaphorically..... please help me, I don't want to hurt my family by killing myself but I also have no one to go to besides my fellow dollars here....

>>653 I can't hear your voice when reading, unfortunately.
>>654 Yo!!!! Slow down there, you gotta know what this dude's like before you get serious with him, don't ever judge a book by a cover.

>>655 You have to be real careful with your decisions, make sure you're more aware of who your with whether it's friends, family or strangers.

Also, suicide is never the right option, things always get better at the end, taking your life will ruin hundreds of others, believe me.

Just wait, time will show who the right guy is for you and time will also show you that everything will turn out okay.

Good luck with your situation.

>>564 just talk to him, ask him to a movie or something like that, but like >>656 said, just be careful.

>>655 losing your love is tough, I know, it sucks and sometimes suicidal thoughts appear in your mind. But just remember to never give into those thoughts. There are people who care about you and although it's hard, you'll get over him, he isn't worth it and you find someone else who you'll fall in love with, someone even better. Just don't give up, life can be full of beauty and love if you stay. The Dollars are also hear if you need someone to talk to, heartbreak is hard especially when you're alone.

I like a girl who is completely different to my normal type. You would think she's shy and quiet but when she gets talking, there's not much quiet about her. She can be a little mean and harsh sometimes but I don't think she means or realizes it. She's pretty but she's not so much so that she subconsciously thinks of herself as better than everyone else like a snob, which can be rarity these days. I only talk to her in one of my classes which I have three times a week, so we don't have many opportunities to get close since we're not in the same social circle. Our circles don't hate each other, actually a lot of us have friends in her circle, just we spend our time in other places doing other things, so I don't get to really see her outside of that class. We're going to different colleges next year, so I have only around 4 months until I won't see her. I probably wouldn't even talk to her if we didn't sit together in that one class. I don't have much reason to believe she likes me, and I'm not even sure why it is I like her. Also, I'very got a hunch she likes one of my friends who she shares more classes with than she does me, but he likes one of her friends, which kinda makes this whole ordeal a little messy. I should probably give up on it all, but I'm a hopeless romantic and find it hard to just forget about a crush like this. I'm just venting though, it always feels good to let things out. Not sure if there really is much advice you could give to someone in this situation, but if you've got any good ideas, I would love to hear them. Well thanks for reading my short little life story, good luck with your own love lives!

>>658 this girl sounds like me... Okay, well since I'm similar to her in some ways maybe I can actually help you out here. Ask her out. You have nothing to lose, and if you don't do it, you'll later regret it since you're a hopeless romantic (so am I so I get it). Just ask her out for some coffee, and if she asks why tell her that she's easy to talk to and that you enjoy talking to her or that you'd like to know her better. The worst she could do is decline, go for it! :3

>>658 >>659 To be honest with you... The girl I like is the same way too. She's really shy, and doesn't really talk when shes in large groups, but when she's around her friends then she talks a bit more and everything. I always get the feeling that she might like someone else, or that she just hates me. I confessed to her already a few months ago, and I already knew that she wanted to be friends and everything, but I really couldn't get over her. I've tried everything, from distracting myself from her to just plain forgetting about her. I'm not sure as to what I should do now. I suppose I could be considered a hopeless romantic at this point so...

I've had this one sided crush since gr.5 and i'm going to be a senior this year
pathetic right...

Me and him were close before but drifted apart he found out i liked him before, i thought i moved on from this crush but when i found out he likes one of my friends i was crushed
and i don't know anymore

>>661 honestly I think that you should move on, I'm sure you'll find someone else one day, someone who loves you back. But you can always confess to him, you can ask your friend if she likes him back first so you don't mess up your friendship.

>>656 >>657 Thanks for the advice I appreciate it, and just to assure you if you see this I was strong and resisted acting upon those suicidal thoughts.

Bump

Why are you people so against using this? Do you not realize that everyone your age has problems and you are wasting space by making a thread for something that can be solved in 2-5 responses?

asdf

Bump, use this thread people.

Still having issues :I

So, he was slightly better at communicating for like... a week. Then he shifted back into friend mode, and now he's shifted further back into like no-mode. We don't get to talk that often, so when we do, I ask him how he's been, what's been happening, if anything interesting's going on, had any good food, etc. etc. to try to spark a discussion, and he just gives me one word and then leaves it at that until I ask another question or bring something else up. He's giving absolutely zero effort into even talking to me. It's not like we talk every day, and it's not like I'm just talking about myself, so I don't get what the problem is.

Not only that, but when we do get into a conversation, it's like we're just friends. Again. The only thing he goes into discussions about are his classes and the roleplay we're in, instead of anything having to do with us. At all. Aside from posting little ♥ now and again (which I do to my friends anyway), there's no sign there's anything more.

I'm happy to be here for him. I know my dating him has picked him up from the dump he was in. I know that... I'm just not sure how much longer I can put up with this nonchalant attitude. I'm all up for a casual relationship, but this takes "casual" a little too far.

Not only that, but I feel like he's been putting no effort into meeting me, either. We made plans months ago to go to an upcoming convention. Now, he's going to a bunch of conventions with his friends and won't even discuss the idea of me going with him to another inbetween, even when I offer to pay for him. It's so damn frustrating.

Really not sure how long this is gonna last :L I don't want to be stuck in a closed relationship when there's no "relationship" inside it. Bambi is not happy with restricting herself when she's ain't gettin' nothin' in the first place.

>>669 I think that no matter how inexperienced a person is at relationships, they should automatically know that if they really cared about someone, they would put effort into those relationships.

So seeing from what you've written about him, I get the feeling that he probably doesn't care that much about the relationship. :L I may be wrong, but that's what I think. I'm assuming this because when my ex started to give me shit attention, it was during the time he was losing interest in me. Aaand you can already guess what happened afterwards.

>>670 Thanks o:

I chatted with him about it, and he said it's just because he has a lot on his plate. We agreed to break it off (with the chance to reconcile if he gets his shit together when he's a bit older).

Luckily, because we never really strayed from being friends, we won't have to change the way we act much to stay in touch \o\

>>669 >>671 putting effort into conversations can be tough at times and I know that I'm guilty for it sometimes as well. Relationships are a two way street so it makes sense to break it off with him, I'm glad that you did, Barabi deserves better! When I still had my little internet fling, even though we didn't always talk, he still gave me a decent conversation from time to time that made it worth it, after a bunch of conversation starters that I supplied. We did stay friends for awhile though and that's what was important and I'm glad that the two of you have decided to stay friends at the least. I'm a little late with the help but I hope it still counts for something, good luck~!

So my love life has been in sorts latley and i would just like to ask for some advice please.
So I had a girlfriend for 20 months and it was going great,of course we had troubles like everyone else but I believed her to be perfect and loved and trusted her with everything. Then she well cheated on me, maybe I'm usin the word wrong i don't know if theres a specific word I'm looking for other than cheating as she didnt have a relationship but she made out with another guy, and she was sorry and in a wreck and so on, and i attempted to forgive her but she said she would feel too guilty o be with me. So what I'm asking basically is how to cope as I have anxiety and signs of depression already I really don't know what to do with myself anyway, i dont even know if im really asking for anything maybe sympathy or something stupid idk, and i know she is already talking to other boys even though its been 3 weeks and i dont feel like i can trust anyine ever anymore. So um, your thoughts??

>>673 I'm on the same boat, except my bf flirted with 3 girls. He said he was sorry and that he still loves me, but I don't know how can I forgive him. I felt like he loves me but wants another girl. I don't know if I can trust him again or love him like I did before. I'm moving on, I got more important things to achieve in life.

And just because your relationship with your last girlfriend didn't worked out it doesn't mean that it won't work out with the next one. You just have to find that one girl that you can trust, maybe she'll break your heart too, so what? It's experiences like this that makes a man tougher. Good luck!

>>673 I honestly dont think you should go after her anymore. As much as it would pain you, just pursuing her would make your condition worse. The best you could do is move on from it. And you have to try to move on from it. Maybe at least become friends with her, speak with her from time to time, but just leave it at that. Your time can be better spent finding another girl who you can actually trust, and once you do, cherish your time with her. Good luck bro.

>>673 you need to move on yes, she doesn't deserve you. Don't feel like you can't trust anyone anymore though, trust issues suck. Just remember that not everyone is a cheater, everyone deserves a chance, but that it's still good to be cautious and questioning as well. Try not to think of her too much, there's someone better out there who's waiting for you~

I will stab you

This may not be as big of an issue as the other problems that people are having in terms of relationships, but I'm hoping that I can get help either way.

I've had what I think is a crush on a girl for almost a year now, and I've managed to keep it mostly under wraps. We're friends; I met her when she transferred to my school and she seemed a little nervous and left out, so I approached her. Turns out that we had similar interests (meaning that we were both total video game nerds) and after a while, she opened up and became an integral part of our nerd group.

She's pretty much perfect. She's cute, sweet, funny, smart, friendly... Everything I could ever hope for. But not only am I too scared to even bring up the subject of dating, I have a distinct feeling that her parents wouldn't approve.

Oh, yeah. Her parents. To put it lightly, they're paranoid. Lots of times we've made plans to hang out, but suddenly her parents started fretting about driving around the city at night, or that her allergies might kick in. One time, our indoor bowling plans were cancelled because 'the wind speeds were too high'. I understand being cautious when it comes to your child's safety, but this is a little over-the-top.

Now that school's ended, we now only get to talk to each other online. I honestly don't know how long I can hide this crush, and whether I should, for that matter. Please, any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I'm in love with three people at once.
WTF.
halp

>>678 I don't know if you mean permanently school has ended for you, or it's just a huge break before the next semester starts, but I personally don't suggest you to hide your feelings unless you get the hunch that she'll behave awkwardly for sure (if she does reject you, or fears her parents' reaction too much).

That and if she has an obvious interest in someone else. Not so much as "backing down without a fight" but more of "the possible drama or complications following".

If she's been sending some good vibes at you then by all means give yourself a chance - it would be horrible to get caught in a "What If I Told Her" limbo if someone asks her out or something.

What allergies does she have for her parents to be so uptight?

(And I'm not one to opt out on secretly dating before The Big Reveal.)

sdf

>>680 No, it's just summer break for us, but even during the rest of the year, she can't always come to school because of her parents. Which is a big problem because our school (it's a homeschool co-op actually) requires one of the parents of each family to teach or co-teach at least one class. If you're not there regularly, this can cause trouble with your class.

That's the thing; I don't even know if she's ready for dating in general, much less whether or not she likes my gender. She might believe that's she's too young or something, and I just get worried that when I ask her it'll turn out that she isn't looking for someone romantically and it'll make our friendship awkward.

I was thinking of trying to casually bring up dating in general next time we're able to meet offline, and see what her reaction is. Maybe then I can get a clue as to her opinion on the subject...?

Her parents are pretty vague about it, but I know for a fact that she's allergic to any sort of dust, especially chalk (in class, she always chooses the seat as far away from the chalkboard as possible). I've heard some things about her having food allergies, but she eats so little in public that it's hard to tell.

(But what if her parents totally freaked out and banned us from seeing each other? That might be even worse!)

Hey... Umm... I have someone I like but it's tearing me apart! How can I tell if I really like her and if she likes me back? Thanks.

I need some help. I'm currently dating a girl and she likes me a lot, but I'm not sure I still like her; plus there's another girl that I think might like me and that I think I like; the only problem is that she is hung up on someone else. What can I do?

If you fell in love with two girls at once, pick the second one because you wouldn't fall for the second one if you truly love the first one. But, imagine how the first girl would feel like, devastated. Good luck to you!

>>685 Well sir, the best thing you can do as of now is to figure it out. Do you think that you can really like the second girl? care for her? All that stuff? If you can, then go right ahead, I'm not going to stop you. Just be sure that you know that you like the second girl before you stop dating the first. I mean.. Dumping one girl for another... That just seems wrong. But then again, that's just me. Good luck!

Well there's this girl I like and some stuff happened. I feel like an asshole since she already has a boyfriend and I cant help liking her. I really want what's best for her and I keep coming to the conclusion of burying my feelings just don't really know how to do so. I want to at least stay friends with her but how do I keep my feelings from arising all time?

>>685 If you can vow to yourself that you won't get jealous for catching her in a memory lane about "the other guy", then man it up and tell your current girlfriend that you've lost interest, and that it isn't her fault - your feelings just changed. (We're young; still searching and all.)

>>688 "some stuff happened". Hmm. Give yourself some away time from her; say, a week or two so you're not always plagued with worrying about your feelings for her. Hopefully down the road your problem becomes more and more minute until it ceases to become an issue longer.

So I don't feel like typing up a whole ranty story right now so tl;dr there's been this girl that I've been trying to make something happen with for a really long time and even though she knows how I feel about her and claims to feel the same things have gone nowhere. So long that I've basically given up but obviously not entirely since I'm even writing this.

The problem right now is that we haven't been talking basically at all. No reason for this (aside from my mentality that it's hardly even worth it anymore because resignation) but it's not like we had a fight or anything. I know I need to talk to her about this so that's not the advice I need to hear. Where my question lies it: How are you supposed to tell someone who hasn't been talking to you that you NEED to talk things through, or else.



...without sounding like a threat.

>>690 "I'm tired of waiting. You said before that you like me. Do you want to go out with me? If not, I'm moving on."

Just confessing your feelings doesn't mean anything, by the way. You both got it out - then what? Did you ever properly ask her or just confess? She might be waiting for you to take the first step, because when someone confesses to you without asking it out, it makes it seem like they're just trying to get it off their chest without trying to get anything out of it.

>>691 I did not ask her proper, no. There were times where I had intended to, but then plans fell through and the opportunity vanished. Plus the fact that I've gotten the impression that would just scare her. I dunno. The subject's been danced around and dodged for altogether too long (read: a year) and it's gotten to the point where running circles hurts too much for me to let it go. I've just been so afraid of rushing her that nothing has progressed, but now I'm realizing I'm in roughly the shame spot I was in a year ago and none too okay with that.

So I guess I'm really just wondering how I'm supposed to confront the problem of nothing.

>>692 Just ask her out already. If she says no, then you know you can get over it without feeling guilty. If she says yes, you're good. If she says she doesn't know, tell her you're not waiting for an answer and go on with your life :o

Ok......so it happened like this...
It's somehow a funny history,well i tried dating much girls...never really dated because the answer was always "no".
Then i decided something, i would not try anymore.
The next year everything was going according to plan,but then she appeared. Her name was Aline and she was just the most beautiful girl i saw in school, i was surprised i never saw her before.
Anyway i ignored her i didn't want to try anything.
But one day we finished doing everything and the teacher decided to let us chat and play games etc...
I was playing a game called "Hanged Man" yea our games have weird names....
But.....i was playing alone.
Then.....she said "i will play with you", well so we kept playing and as we were talking, i felt we had much in common...
A friend of mine stepped in and started saying random stuff.
Then he asked me if i thought she was beautiful, i was kinda off and answered "yes" right away.
I am not gonna lie, i felt embarassed and probably blushed a little....
He then asked the same to her and she said "i like his smile".

I couldn't help myself and fell in love with her, the problem is.....i don't have the courage to tell her that....
i want to but i can't.
She is a great friend and i don't want to lose her. But i am afraid of asking and losing her anyway.
Normally i wouldn't care so much....really she is not the first girl i would ask on a date.....
But i like her much more than any of the other girls.
I feel happy when close to her and miss her when we aren't together, i wanted to go to school only so i could see her.
A friend of mine says i should ask before i get "friendzoned" but is that the best option?

>>694 yes!! Ask her out before it's too late. You don't want to always wonder "what if?" right? Sometimes love is a giant gamble and you have to bet getting hurt but the pay out of it working out is worth the risk. There's always someone else out there as well so if she turns you down don't get so discouraged.

>>694

Go for her, you've already gotten the green light. If you stick with it, then I think that you sir, will be officially taken off the market........go get 'em tiger!

bump

Guys, please remember to use this thread for all your romantic questions.

>>698 What is love?

>>699 Baby, don't hurt me </3

No more... No more...

hey world :) does anyone know any good missions for a small town?

Bump, because no one is special enough to deserve their own thread when it comes to dating.

Hey everyone. I don't so much have a "problem" as I am just looking for ideas.

I'm doing long distance right now and wondering if anybody has fun ideas for things to do. Currently we talk on FB all the time, Skype and watch shows and such. Anybody done distance before? Did anything special together?

Also, it's international so we can't text because it's hella expensive. Anybody know of a good app that can serve the same purpose?

>>704 I head of Kik... Its available on most phones and stuff... You can buy an international call sim or something for a cheap price and it will charge you like 3 cents/pence per minute. I have a girl in a long distance relationship... And it really sucks that I cant see her... I try to make her happy nonetheless... (I love her so much)

I need advice .
From everyone .
Mostly guys perspectives .
DON'T IGNORE ME PLEASE .
ITS PROBLEMS IN REAL .
So i'm that kind of person that's forever faithful and always the one being dumped or cheated on -.-
After a really bad break up with my partner cheating on me , I pushed all my feelings on a crush I had and eventually he caught bait . He's been perfect in everything where he's fun and relaxing .
He travels alot and when he's around which is most of the time , I don't get time to go out .
For 3 months we've moved along without any kinda confessions , only I was confessing and being expressive . So I assumed mutuality we established a slow r/s where there was no stress . We literally have no problem , everything is flexible and we enjoy sharing each others company be it messaging all the time or talking or watching anime together .
I made sure not to fall inlove nor say I am inlove until I mean it . Because of my previous r/s I didn't think I want to bother trying and wanted to just enjoy the r/s as each day comes.
However when school reopened at the start of September , i've gotten so busy with studying or falling asleep and his timing was thrown off too . It was depressing yes but I coped.
Now problem happened , when my attention was caught by this kid in school . I here instantly , one day while interacting , that I made a connection . It startled me abit cause I'm significantly older than him and I'm already committed so I tried tobrushed it off .
Then he becameinsanely honest and confessed to me ._______.
I tried to avoid it but I find myself naturally being drawn to him and he does these ridiculously cute things and sends me songs and he calls me Noona .________.
I admit it . I harbour feelings for him .
I tried to rectify this by reminding him of my r/s and he said he respected it and used it as a barrier .
I know it'll still end up hurting him so I tried to avoid and push him away but felt an urge of jealously when he deliberately showed me he was trying to move on .
I couldn't help but feel hurt .
Deeper into the conflict , I really do care about my bf to extents where I'll give my life . So I wanted to confirm his feelings for me so one day I asked him if he loves me and the idiot said yes ._________.
For three long months he has never confessed and I had to ask him .
His friends explained that he has communication problems and thinks he's incapable of affection but he has been an utter sweetheart to me ;;;;;;
Common sense tells me my relationship with him has a high chance of leading to marriage ((I'm 20 soon , late schooling but brilliant dw )) .
But I naturally tend to consider all my r/s long term.
However I can not deny my strong feelings for this kid that I see from 6.30 am - 4.30pm 5 days a week for the next 8 months, plus online gaming together at nights .
I always told myself that if I was in a r/s and developed feelings outside the r/s id let go of my partner cause I won't want to hurt them.
But its hard cause now that he admitted he loves me I don't want to hurt him . I feel even more pressured cause recently a mutual friend of ours told me after 5 years of being single he got together with me and must have genuinely liked me .
This makes me feel worse , cause he's so innocent and sweet though he's older than me .
My worse fear is missing my attachment to him and also losing his friendship cause I can't see a future where he isn't involved .
Lastly , I won't be able to suddenly fall inlove with this kid even though I have feelings for him . Cause I am unable to comprehend what love truly is and learning as I go along .
But I will not have myself unconsciously falling for another while in a r/s
Please help me with these decisions : C
I'm legit scared of this situation i'm in.

Bump

Your not important, so don't post a thread of your own, instead tell us your problem here, so we don't spam 'personal' with relationship problems, okay?

Oh, right! BUMP!!

Bump!

bump

so bad ween a inbreed Hill billy can comment on something like this get mad Hill because your only relationship was with your sister/aunt back to the topic i don't kiss an tell sorry its personal besides shes a dollar to don't need to start ww3 lol

I still like my ex but we haven't talked in three months... I'm not sure how to make it go away

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

^ bc 80% of the posts in this board should've really been made in here.

Guys...
Guys...

I beg of you: stop cluttering the board with your romantic problems when you should just post them in here...

bump

Y the fuck... do u all keep ignoring this?

You're a bunch of selfish bastards, u know that?

Magnolia getting unnecessarily angry. Applause.

*bows* Thank you for the applause, but either you don't know what "unnecessary" means, or you don't understand the purpose of this thread.

>>718

http://dollars-bbs.org/personal/res/1421082669.html
http://dollars-bbs.org/personal/res/1421458451.html
http://dollars-bbs.org/personal/res/1421407104.html
http://dollars-bbs.org/personal/res/1420775351.html
http://dollars-bbs.org/personal/res/1421284518.html
http://dollars-bbs.org/personal/res/1421371486.html
http://dollars-bbs.org/personal/res/1421386478.html
http://dollars-bbs.org/personal/res/1421030746.html
http://dollars-bbs.org/personal/res/1421557122.html
http://dollars-bbs.org/personal/res/1421082669.html

All of these??

Only The Past Five Fucking Days.

All of them should've been in here.

Hell, probably wouldn't have even needed to post anything if they had just searched the thread for someone with a similar problem.

I understand both and you calling people selfish bastards doesn't help one bit. If people want to use it or not is up to them. Why get so worked up over petty matters.