So I just started my senior year today. And first day wasn't so bad--the usual expectations for the class and all that jazz.

Then, my friend who I knew since the 7th grade wanted to hang out together and I was like, "Cool. Let's get some tea from Starbucks and talk." We did and then there was the topic... you guessed it--boys. Over the summer, my friend made many flings and she's now dating a guy who gets "excited" every time he texts her (Which pretty weird!). And my friend wanted me to ask out a guy that I have a crush on so I could double-date, so I could meet her boyfriend while we watch fireworks.

Now here's thing... I never been in a relationship and I'm the type of person who doesn't want to just have a "fling." I guess you can say I'm a "hopeless romantic." While talking boys with my friend, she told me how people that we know openly talk about their..."first" time.

I'm not envious about loosing the virginity part because I want to wait until my honeymoon. But girls these day have so much confidence to go up to a guy and asked them out. I know it's the 21th century and that's how life is, but... I can't help think how boys are supposed to ask girls out.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that everyone is growing up so fast and I'm just plain old innocent me. Despite of reality being cruel, I have the nerve to even think about childish thoughts of a rosy and sweet romance and being able to act as a proper "adult" to people. Do you guys think that I should forget about my childish ideals and face reality? I'm afraid that this "leap of faith" will result badly and I won't be able to get myself up again--never to go back to the way I was before..

Most women I've met are about two IQ levels below a coconut, so a lot of what they think growing up means is usually a bunch of crap. Since you know how to structure a proper sentence, you already show that you are smarter than them.

Being an adult and being mature are two separate things. One can grow up to be an adult, but not to be mature. Being mature means that you can make choices for yourself, and have the intelligence to separate the legitimate advice from the other crap that flies out of other people's mouths.

I am a sophomore in college, turning 21 in December, and I still hold onto stupid romance thoughts. Other guys just say it is due to my innocence, since I am still a virgin. I don’t know what it is that makes you think you are more childish, or less mature, than others. Only do things how you want to do them, otherwise it will feel like living someone else’s life. I am unsure about this so called, “leap of faith,” you speak of, but if it is that troubling don’t do it. If it is about a person you like then if they like you back a relationship should naturally form. My friend told me that the best relationships tend to start the easiest. I asked him for advice when I met a girl I liked since he has been with a girl for 6 years now. If it helps, view yourself being more mature than those around you but not in a narcissistic way. Oh, and sorry about my spotty train of thought.

>>1 I find your thoughts quite beautiful tbh. Im a guy who was madly in love with a girl when I was 16. After I was rejected I still loved her, after 6 months she actully asked me out. She just saw me as a fling, she didn't love me at all. We had a relationship for 9 months which was a hell for me. I still now, 3 years later have scars that've yet to heal from that "fling relationship"

I believe that entering a romantic relationship is the better choice of them. Don't get a partner just for the saking of having a partner. Remain as a "Hopeless romantic". It hurts quite alot to not get an equal emotional response. Please remain the way you're. I think it is a wonderful way.

>>2 That's a very good description of mature & adult, I totally agree with you.

>>2 Also agree about the total Mature & Adult thing.And heres the thing.Virginity has nothing to do with it.One of My Best Friends in the whole wide world I met when I was in 3rd grade and she was in 4th.And She's always been like a big sister to me.Taking care of me,comforting me,watching over me,and the thing is,I have to do the samething for her.She lost her Virginity at 12.12 PEOPLE!!!!!!!And she wants me to go out with her cousin Liam and "hook up with him" (Hes a huge dork like me,even knows what FMA:B is^-^)And hes smart,funny,kind,and dorky....and only gonna be here for about 2 more weeks.And I dont hook up.Sex or no sex,it doesnt make you mature,or smarter,or cooler,or hotter.Lea's now 15,and Im 14.And trust me,she's got summer school for math,and can be so mature and profound at times when you pull it out of her.But mostly,Shes a big ball of Needless insane crazy derpy energy.Sex doesnt equal maturity.Its your mindset,and who you are,and how you act and speak that does.Sorry if this is so long.Sierra's out now!Hope this helps you!

It may be a good experience to date a guy, BUT if you don't like him that way then don't even bother to ask him out. I rather have you be an innocent person than having a one-sided dating relationship. My suggestion is to make a world where you fit best in and being yourself is the number ONE rule. It will help people take you seriously. :)

I just graduated from high school this May and have not dated anyone before, but I have seen people like me more than just a friend. Call me crazy or ignorant, but I can not accept their feelings too lightly because I hate dating people that I don't even know. Some people say that dating is a good way to get to know the other person, but I like being just friends first. I do feel like I'm missing out on a lot of things, but this is MY Reality. I am in control of my life.

>>2 You have a point there, King-san. I never really seen it that way. I guess the atmosphere that I read during the talk with my friend is so foreign to me and I couldn't help but feel curious and left out.

>>3 Oh I see, Sid-san. Being mature does get a bit lonely for me since how I view things are deeper than others think. I have friends that seek advice from me when they're in a relationship, but all I talk about is about being able to directly communicate and having your message be sent across.

>>4 Thank you, Terroth-san. And also thank you for sharing your experience. I talked to my older sister about this. She said that she only went to school just for a guy. And all that heartbreak for that boy, she said that she regretted being in a relationship distracted her from schoolwork and whatnot.

>>5 Straight-forward and told your experience how it is. I like that, Cat-san! Thanks for your animated response~! I have a feeling we're going to be buddies here~! xD

>>6 You're right, Yamie-san! Taking control of my reality is a legitimate rule to everyone. I wouldn't want to look back in my high school life as full of heartbreaks and complicated relationships. Also, it's just high school. Once you finish high school, your social status in that "community" doesn't matter out in the world.

It's good to know that I'm not the only who felt like this. Once again, thank you! -bows-

If you are not ready for dating then don't. It's okay to stay just plain old innocent you. That does not mean you are immature. Many people seem to forget the fact that the purpose of dating is to find someone to marry, to commit to for the rest of your life. And let's be honest, not many people are ready for that in high school. When people have flings (or hookups or whatever they are called now) just to have a good time, they end up breaking up. If anyone was serious in that type of relationship they would be hurt. I dont want you ending with a brokenheart or breaking someone else's
Try to find someone who is old fashioned like you. Sweetie, I dont want to scare you but there are some bastards out there who drool at the word virgin. Sex can wait... High school is definitely not the time for that. And when you are ready for sex, always use protection, unless you are ready for a baby. I have a bunch of friends who became single mothers and another bunch of friends who are 24 and never had a bf and I dont want you to end up in either of those groups. It is hard in this age to meet people if you dont go out to clubs/pubs/bars but the chances you meet someone innocent are very slim... So meet a lot of nice, kind people while they are still innocent and in the future they might the ones who introduce you to Mr. Right
back to your friend, if she was worried you would be lonely/left out hanging out with her and her bf, you can still ask your crush or a bunch of friends to hang out together. you dont have to confess to him on the spot, and a big group would be more comfortable. As long as your dating friends dont show too much PDA it shouldnt get awkward.
Best of luck

>>7 Pro tip, don't call everyone "______-san". I won't be able to take you seriously where I otherwise would had you not done that. It makes you look like every other weebo out there.

>>9 Well a weebo or weeboo or whatever the fuck they are.

*weeaboo

Well, Aikomei, don't quit being yourself. You don't have to ask a guy to be your boyfriend just so your friend can go on a double date with you. I myself have realized that some guys(that I know of) would rather the girl ask them out. My boyfriend is shy like me too, I mean we talk but we're shy when it comes to being in a relationship. We're more comfortable around each other now. BUT ANYWAYS I sometimes get random bursts of courage and I asked him out ^^;

>>9 What if she's really Japanese?

>>8 You didn't scare me at all, Mokona. I know very well that they are some people who would try to "pursue" a person like myself. I just have the tendency of being insecure at times.

>>9 Oh, I see. I'm sorry if I offended or annoyed you by how I speak. I'm still kind of a novice at this type of communication.

>>12 Aww~. That's so cute.

>>13 I am actually half-Japanese and half-Filipino. I'm from Hawaii and I only visited Japan four times.

>>14 ...so the break down is 75% Asian, 25% Spanish?

I'm a very insecure person also, so don't worry about it. I can honestly say though, don't jump headlong into a situation without truly considering it first.
Because once something has happened, the only thing left behind is regret, no matter how big and no matter how small.

>>15 That's a strange way to describe it. It's true that Spanish culture influenced the Filipino culture, but Filipinos are technically Asian also.

>>16 Yes. That's true. The only regret I want to remember in high school is not doing my best in my classes from the years before.

>>17 Filipinos are half Asian, half Spanish.

Filipino is a race on its own, and it is located in Asia.

I'd appreciate it if you don't describe the culture as simply a composite of two different ones in such a generalizing way, especially towards someone who is actually of that culture.

>>19 It's called Filipino mestizo. Spanish traders colonized the Philippines in the 16th century.

>>20 The Philippines is its own country. By that logic, you're implying that Americans are half British because America was originally settled by the British. Just like not all Americans are part British, not all Filipinos are mestizo.

>>21 Yes, we are part British. But our primary demographic is European, or white as a lot of us call it. The second largest demographic is Black, which is anyone who has recent African ancestry.

Aren't we getting a little off-topic? Can we just leave this conversation out of this? Please! >.<;

>>22 No, we're not. I'm American, don't have a single drop of British blood in me. Technically I'm other things, but in my eyes, the blood I have is American. Who gives a fuck where our ancestors were from? Your country is your country. Just because someone from a different country settled it doesn't mean you're part of that race.

>>23 Sorry about that. Regarding >>1, I think you should just do what you want. Don't do what your friends force you into. Everyone has a different set of moral beliefs, and if yours say that you can't have sex with a man until your honeymoon, then so be it. Don't go out with a guy if you're not ready for dating. In fact, you would seem like a worse person if you went out with a guy that you didn't actually like; at that point, you're just dragging an innocent guy around.

Little advice for you, honey. NEVER give up your role as a hopeless romantic, because that special someone will show up eventually. My boyfriend has never showed up to a date without a rose, and it took six months before he touched anything but my hand or lips. It just takes time!

^^
sounds like me

>>24 That's exactly how I feel! Few of my friends wanted me to try going out with this boy who confessed to me awhile back. But I just can't. I only see him as an older brother and dating him would just make it worse for me and for him.

>>25 >>26
Thanks everyone. As of now, all I'm focusing on is passing senior year and graduating high school, so that my family can come over to Hawaii from the Philippines. ^.^