I don't know who's seen my post here (http://dollars-bbs.org/personal/res/1334460144.html#1282), but this is based on that, so I'll quote it for you.

"I fucking hate it when I fucking like a guy for months, but he's oblivious and friendzones me. Then I finally get over him a few months later, and then he tries to make a move. Not only that, but it's right before I move. It wasn't even the "I like you" kind of move. It was the "Let's fuck" kind of move.

I took a hint when he told me we were "just friends" and now he has a thing for me? You can't even tell me it's because I moved on, because he doesn't even know that I like another guy. As far as he's concerned, he doesn't even know this guy. Then he can't take a hint when I push him away two or three times. I'm confused as fuck.

For all those that have read my thread in personal that asked who I should choose, I choose neither. The guy I only see as a friend is too awkward and the guy I liked is a fucking asshole. I like this other guy now and am perfectly fucking happy. I refuse to even like a guy that friendzones me then tries to get in my pants.

I can't believe I thought that he was a fucking gentleman. He was all nice and shit in public, but once it's just me and him he then decides that it's okay to be friends with benifits? I have standards. I'm not going to screw around with a guy. I want an actual fucking relationship. Did he not catch on to that after hearing me bitch about that for a year? How clueless can a guy be? It wasn't even subtle hinting. I made it as fucking obvious as I knew how, and he only wants to be friends. I back off, but apparently "just friends" has some hidden meaning that I wasn't told. Someone must have forgotten to tell me that "just friends" means "fuck buddies".

I fucking hate guys that fucking do this.

To all you guys who wonder why all the girls assholes, I'd like to tell you that I'm a girl who doesn't like guys like that. I want a serious relationship with a nice guy. I thought I finally found one, but it seems I was wrong. Maybe this new guy will be better. So far, he's not like that.

If I'm proven wrong again, I'm cutting myself off from people. I've fucking hated the human race for so long, and finally decide to trust again, and this is what I get? Can't I be friends with a straight guy that doesn't want in my pants for once? I'd understand if he was my boyfriend, but if you say you only see me as a friend, then you better treat me as a friend. I don't want anything else once I've heard those fucking words out of your fucking mouth."


Now here's where I ask for advice. I don't know what to do. I'm still kind of in shock mode and haven't registered that he isn't who I thought he is. I'm having a hard time believing that he's not who I thought he is and that it wasn't someone else that I dealt with. I don't know what to do about it.

My family doesn't know, and the keep teasing me about him. They keep asking if I'll see him again. He keeps asking me if I'll see him again, and he doesn't know. I don't know what to do. I don't really want to tell anyone, but I've told three people. One person who's friends with him, and doesn't know this about him. They're better friends with me. One person who's a good listener. One person who's always there for me.

I don't really want to tell anyone what happened, and if I tell them that I don't want to be his friend anymore they'll ask why. They'll probably think it's a misunderstanding or something that's easily fixed. They might even think I'm over reacting. If I don't tell them, they'll assume the worse. It's not good, but it's not as bad they would assume.

I'm reacting worse to this than I would have under normal circumstances because of issues in my past that I still haven't gotten over completely.

I just want to know what I should do? I'm hurt because I feel lied to. I'm in shock and haven't registered what happened. My family keeps bringing him up and they don't know. He wants to see me again and he doesn't know. On top of all this, I'm moving soon. I'm confused and lost. Any advice for me?

Heh, as blunt and very wrong as this is going to sound:

Shut up.

Know what I do when I have a falling-out with someone? No matter what I WANT to say, I shut up. I cut ties. After a few weeks, shit dies down. People forget. People stop asking. It's surprisingly easy to cut connections, and it's even more surprising how predictable the reactions are by those around you.

If you don't say anything, nobody has anything to react to. If you MUST say something, let it be generic.

But most of all: Let it go. You had a bad experience with an asshole. There are lots of those, it happens. There's no sense getting hung-up on it.

Time heals all wounds

You don't find the guy of your dreams easily, your going to go through hundreds of guys before you find the right one. Were assholes because getting in a girls pants to us is the greatest accomplishment we can get from girl; the only thing we care about is getting a nice car and getting our dicks wet.
Anyway just keep trying! Guys at the age of 14-25 really just care about how much ass we can get; and the concept of relationships is so slandered nowadays that none of use knows how to do it right anymore. Glad to see you got your head is straight to the meanings of relationships; don't let go of that idea! Out of the bunch one of us has the same views as you and that's the one you can be happy with. It's a rough road but don't waist your time on idiots like the one your talking about (if he doesn't want to take things seriously and play it like a game then fuck'em) just keep looking. You'll meet plenty more assholes but you will find that nice guy your looking for.

>>3 <--- He Is probably a really big asshole and doesn't realize he is never going to get married.

~My advice is to go for the new guy and forget about the old one. He is obviously a gigantic douche-bag who only wanted to get laid in the first place. It appalls me that Some guys can act that way, it makes the rest of us look bad. I'm sure you could do much better. Any respectful guy would actually want a relationship instead of just meaningless sex. I'm not an expert though, My fiance and I still have some small problems every great once and awhile. I hope I could help.

Aagh, I hate when people do that. Disingenuous little *grumble, grumble*... Anyway...

Why don't you want to tell anyone? From reading your post, the only answer I could get was that most people you'd tell wouldn't take you seriously. Please tell me if I'm dense and completely missed something.

It seems like you know exactly what (or rather, who) you want out of this. If you don't tell the relevant people (the two guys you're not choosing, your family; I'm not sure if the guy you chose would be relevant), then you're only making it harder on yourself. If your family knew, they would stop teasing you. If he knew, he'd (hopefully) leave it at that. If not, he'd at least know without a doubt where you stand. And if people don't take you seriously, then that's their problem. I'm sure they'd realize soon enough, based on your actions.

One thing about relationships of any kind is that they function better when those involved are on the same wavelength, so to speak. By not talking to the relevant people about this, you're only creating more frustration for yourself.

Also, would cutting yourself off from people if you're proven wrong really help you get what you want? I understand completely the frustration and infuriation that can come with continually not finding a right person to be with. But, if you cut yourself off from people, you're also cutting yourself off from the opportunity to find someone who's right for you. I'm not saying just pick yourself up and get back out there, or anything like that. It's not always that easy. Sometimes you can have emotional baggage (I hate using that word--too much of a negative connotation--, but a better one escapes me at the moment) that you have to deal with before you feel like you can try again for a serious relationship with people.

I hope this helps.