I have very protective parents who really want the best for me but r really demanding of my behavior and grades and such if u have parents like this how do u deal with the pressure?

I have some exactly like that, and I'm homeschooled. The way I see it? I know there's only a few years left till I graduate, so instead of using my energy to argue with them I just wait and survive through. I know things would be worse arguing. It that situation there's nothing we as adolescents can do so it's best to just behave for the time.

I have no advice for you without directly insulting you.

I have parents like this, but it helps to actually try your best. I put up with it because I've seen crappier parents. At least yours want the best for you. Have you been kicked out for being who you are? No, then shut up. Your parents love you. They just want the best for you.

I have really protective parents. Sometimes my dad won't let me cross an empty street on my own...Anyhow, I agree with Leigha in this matter. A lot of kids get abused on a daily basis. Thankfully, your on the opposite side of the spectrum.

>>3
That was kind of a dick post, Leigha.
And when I say kind of, I mean completely.

>>5 Someone agreed with my dick post.

Either way, I know it was mean, but I get pissed when people complain about their parents. I've been closed to people that have been abused and kicked out for no reason, and people still complain because their parents are protective and care about them? It gets annoying. The only thing more annoying is the people complaining that their parents don't love them because they won't buy them something. I hate spoiled children.

Granted yes, IT's not that bad considering other. But what you don't see is everyone's situation is different, and what's big to someone might be tiny to you. Show some grace.

>>7

"Different" is in the eye of the beholder with this one. How can someone show grace, and not get pissed if they are raised to show some respect when being treated like a human being with love?

It's different if they were being abused, but not if they just have loving parents. They will fix their tune quite quickly, if they ever lost their parents.

Alright. Rant to Leigha and company coming up soon. Because why? Bitch, please. You've obviously never met someone whose parents were so demanding and overly-protective that they damaged their kid.

I'll give a few tips to OP in my next post.

While what Leigha said is partially true, you also have to consider the situation. It's horrible that children are abused or are left without parents at all. However, that doesn't change the situation at hand. Everyone has a right to be frustrated and pissed at parents no matter the situation. It doesn't mean that they're not grateful to have parents who love them; it just means that they're frustrated, and they need help working around that. Everyone has a different level of "bad" and "good" versus "horrible" and "amazing" when it comes to life.

Do you see OP or anyone else here complaining that their parents feed them or love them or give them shelter? No. They're complaining that parents are over protective. Having been on as well as seen both sides of what's being discussed here, I find that overly protective parents are almost just as bad as abusive parents. They affect your ability to make friends, enjoy life, and be a child - just as abusive parents do. They may not hit you, but they're still damaging your mental and emotional growth because they're selfish.

Not to mention, OP doesn't seem to just be talking about overly-protective. Rather, (s)he seems to be taking about a demanding parent.

Parents who demand excellent grades, appearances, activities, et cetera from their children tend to be really bad parents. They're not helping anyone or anything except themselves. I'm saying this bluntly, and I don't give two fucks if you disagree. I've had too many friends and relatives of mine get emotionally drained and destroyed from the pressure that their parents put on them. My mom's cousin had actually developed bulemia and ended up dying from it because of her parents. Her father always said she had to be the smartest and prettiest, and of course her mother agreed. If she ever let her grades drop in any subject, everything would be taken away from her, her boyfriend would be forced to break up with her, and she wouldn't be allowed to see any of her friends. The pressure finally got to her. She had no self-esteem left. She started to starve and purposely injur herself; she got bulemia her second year into college. She puked so much (mainly stomach acid) that she made her throat literally raw. Exposed, her throat was badly infected. Afraid of getting it checked out in case her father found out about it, she eventually died on-campus from the infection.

You may say, "Well that's a worse case scenario!" or, "That's a really dramatic example!" That's fine; say as you like. But what's the scenario before that? What do you think leads up to things like these?

And what about parents who keep their children from friends? I have friends older than me who have extreme limits on how far they can ride their bikes. My friend Krys isn't allowed to ride her bike more than 5 blocks away from her house, and she's 17, for Christ's sake. She doesn't even know the street names of her town because she's never walked or ridden in the area before.

A group of my friends ended up having to teach a girl in our group about having sex because her parents thought it was, "too sensitive of a topic for her." How the FUCK did they think their daughter was going to handle herself when the time came? Stand there like an idiot and let her boyfriend and/or a rapist teach her the ways? No, bitch, please - that's not how we work around here.

I hate it when I see broads who can't defend themselves because their parents never thought to tell them that, at one point in your life, you ARE going to get mugged, and you DO need to know how to fight. Seriously. What the fuck kind of parent wouldn't tell their kid about the bad things in the worl- OH, yeah. Parents who want to protect their kids from the world. You know, those ones who don't understand that their kid isn't always going to be chained to their bedrooms.

I mean, fuck - I'm not even allowed to go into my own backyard once it gets dark out. The only exception to this is Halloween, and that's only because I trick-or-treat with a large group of companions. I get so freaked out when I go to my friend's house and they want to go walk to a nearby store after dark. It used to scare the fucking shit out of me because I didn't know how to handle myself at night.

Do you know what these things are an example of? Forced ignorance. And this is why I don't have anything against ignorant people (unless they're ignorant by choice). It's not their fault they didn't get a chance to learn. However, it's often someone else's fault. In this case, parents.

Parents who demand excellence from their children.
Parents who shelter their children.

^ Those parents are dumbfucks who don't understand childcare. ^

Parents who hit their children are worse, yes, but parents who DEMAND PERFECTION or who HIDE THE WORLD from their children are pretty high up there, and you have absolutely no right to be pissed at any child who realizes that IGNORANCE ISN'T BLISS, nor is PERFECTION, despite what their parents say.

I could have written SO much more (and I will if you ask me to), but I think OP deseves some help already.

>>1 I have one main tip for you: Don't become demanding of yourself.

Even as your parents push your grades, remember that while grades can be important, grades don't measure personality or intelligence. Grades measure obedience, to put it bluntly. Grades measure whether you read what you were told to. The measure whether or not you did your homework like you were told to. Intelligence is something that includes so much more than just your math or writing skills - intelligence includes how cunning you are, how quick your mental reflexes are, how well you can comprehend topics, how well you handle yourself in difficult situations, et cetera. "Street-smart" is a bigger part of real intelligence than "book-smart" is, mainly because life (believe it or not) isn't actually about books.

Keep that in mind. Obviously, I still suggest you try to get good grades and keep your parents happy. Your parents do sound like good people, albeit a little up-tight. However, I don't know them, so I can't really say that. Keeping in mind that grades aren't your life will help; when you get a bad grade and they're mad at you, don't go, "I screwed up!" Instead, go, "Well, there's more to life than grades. Anyway, I'll just try better next time."

As for behavior, remember that you're a kid. You're not perfect. You're still learning. You still fuck up on half the shit you do. Why? Because that's what kids do. We don't know half as much about the world as we like to think. It's best to understand that (even if you don't admit it to an adult's face, keep it in your head).

Your "behavior" is part of:
1. The learning process of becoming an adult, and
2. Your personality.

If you're a fun, out-going person, don't let your parents change that. Be a bit more quiet around them. I mean, you should always keep yourself in check and make sure that you're not being too immature, but don't be afraid to be yourself because your parents told you not to.

If you're a quiet person, and they want you to be more out-going, fuck you parents. Quiet people are cool

o/
\o

(Don't be afraid to make friends, though. If you're afraid of people in addition to being quiet, you might want to start listening to them.)

/ahem

Anyway, yeah. That's how I handle the pressure I get. Unlike you, though, I get most of my pressure from myself. My mom's pretty laid back with grades and appearances, and my behavior is pretty good to her, so I have to keep myself in check. Arguements are ten times more annoying when it's yourself you're argueing with.

Just... don't become your worst critic. I'm warning you now. Unless you're going to art school, never let yourself be your worst critic. Criticize yourself without breaking yourself >>'

Got off topic. ANYWAY, I think you get my point.

>>9
This, because I knew someone would be able to type a more glorious response than I.
And obviously >>10 too.

Thank you, Bunny. I agree with every word you typed there. I myself have super over protective parents. My mother refuses to allow me out of the house most nights. I am a 17 year old with a 4.0, my drivers license, a job, and am an officer in Key club and a section leader in band. I take Tae Kwon Do and our school puts extreme emphasis in self defense. Yet she claims going out at night with my 19 year old brother to a comic store to get free merchandise is dangerous. She freaks out if I'm out with my friends at night. This is with a 6' tall well built girl and another girl who takes TKD with me, they are tied for first in our class and one of them is horn-line captain, yet she's terrified we will "do something irresponsible" or get attacked. I have taken down guys half a foot taller than me in her presence, yet she thinks I can't protect myself.

If I fall to a B in an AP class she freaks out. If I don't get something she thinks I should she flips. I'm currently being forced through the painful process of getting my Gold award because she thinks it's good for me. It's gotten to the point that I freak out if something isn't perfect because I think I'll get in trouble. Twice, I've gotten physically sick because of stress caused by my mother.

The best advice I can give you is to stop worrying. You can't be perfect. If you can, try talking to your parents about how they make you feel. My plans include getting through this year and then cutting off nearly all communication with my parents. Plus I'm getting a cat. My mom is deathly allergic to cats.

do you ever feel likr your parents are idiots? I have to explain things to my mom 50x for her to understand it. Or, blow up at you for something they probably did when they were young.

>>13 Not sure if this is the right thread for that; could someone with more experience on this site back me up/shut me down?

>>1 Sometimes I feel like my parents are the same way. I talked to a couple of really close friends about it once (we were all just talking about some really personal stuff) and they basically said what >>3 (Leigha) did (i.e. they love you, etc., etc.). I politely disagreed, and >>9 (Barabi) pretty much laid out how I feel about the subject.

That said, there are some ways to deal with it. As long as you realize that you can't be perfect, and that you don't have to be, I think it'll be OK. Talking to your parents might not be a viable option (I know mine certainly haven't listened to what I've said), but it's worth a shot. And if it fails... well, you'll be out of your parents' house soon enough. A few years might seem like eternity, but it really flies by once you're in the midst of it.

My parents didn't allow me to go to a friend's birthday party; I was in grade school. Visiting a friend's house, a big no-no. Sleepovers? Let's not talk about it.

How to handle it? Remember that they aren't perfect as well. We have to forgive them their faults. After all, they are our parents.