Surprisingly, there isn't a thread on coming out here on the BBS. It's surprising because from what I've seen, plenty of members here have bicurious/homosexual feelings, and while fewer have questions about their own gender identity, it too should be discussed. Members young and old who have gone down the road of coming out should share their experiences and advice for those who need the helping hand.

As for me, I feel like I need to do this; I need to leave a testament to my journey for others to follow in. I hope that this message makes it to those who need it. It all started six years ago...

My name is Madeline Koller (born Matthew), and for much of my life, I felt different than most. Rather, I didn't really fit in with boys, and I was always envious of the girls I would hang around with. I preferred to play house/pretend instead of sports. I thought that the dresses my female friends wore were beautiful and occasionally wondered what it would feel like to wear them. I think one of my most vivid memories of this was in first grade, when a girl in my class would wear this green skirt/tights/long sleeved shirt (almost looked like a full body unitard and may have even been one). I remember being jealous of her, in a sense.

Over the years, I didn't really think much of it. I wasn't really aware that there were supposed to be differences between guys and girls. My naive self believed that both sexes were essentially the same. However, much of this changed when I got into middle school, and puberty began. This is where my story truly begins.

I found myself resenting being born a boy, growing up a man. I didn't want my voice to deepen. I didn't want to be stronger or more muscled. I didn't want body hair, or a mustache. I was confused; my body felt foreign to me. I wasn't sure what exactly I wanted, but I knew this wasn't it. And that's when the idea came to mind.

What if I could become a girl? What if there was a way to get rid of these male features and grow up female? One day, in the library, I looked up superstitions and there was one about how you could turn into a member of the opposite sex if you licked your elbow. I tried, but I couldn't do it. Eventually, I gave up, and simply pushed the thoughts out of my mind.

The following year, they resurfaced, stronger than ever. I found myself going to bed at night wishing, praying to God, that the next day I would wake up with breasts or a vagina. Wishing I could get rid of my male body, my male sex organs, and so on. I became withdrawn, isolated, depressed to the point of self harm. My parents noticed, and that's where my relationship with them started to grow distant. We would get in fights more, and they just couldn't understand what was making me so upset.

Middle school soon ended for me and I was in my freshman year of high school. Labor Day weekend was when everything came to a head. My family had been fighting all day, and when I got home I locked myself in my room and cried. Eventually, my dad and my brother came in and we talked it out. Once the fighting was addressed, my dad asked if there was anything I wished to tell him. That's when I made up my mind.

I had taken the COGIATI, because I wanted to be able to present evidence to my parents when I came out. The first time I had taken the test, the result was that I was androgynous, and not transgender. Even so, the notion that I wanted to be female shocked my dad beyond belief. He simply walked out the door, saying nothing.

My mom came in, and she told me that she loved me and that she would be there for me. I would be able to crossdress and experiment, but under a number of conditions. One was that I seek the opinion of a qualified mental health professional. Another was that I tell nobody else. Of course, that soon became part of the problem.

The first therapist said I was a crossdresser and not transgender. However, my parents were still rather unconvinced about even that. They wanted it to be a phase so much. So when they found out that I had told people, all hell broke loose. They told me I would no longer be able to act upon my feelings under their roof, and that I would see a different therapist (who would take their side). The most traumatizing part of this, however, was the reaction of my father, who told me I "was throwing [my] life down the goddamn drain."

The second therapist did indeed take their side, claiming that my isolation was causing the transgenderism and not the other way around. The third tried to do the same. My depression worsened, and I turned to the internet for emotional release. I did bad things, things that I am not proud of. But at the time, I wanted nothing more than the ability to feel like someone loved the real me. Not even my girlfriend at the time, who I tried to be honest with as best I could, could accept that her man wanted to be a woman.

So, for the next two years I had multiple ups and downs, fights with my family, a broken relationship, and more therapy. The next therapist was more open to the idea of me being legitimately transgender, and I started to really come out of my shell through her. But it wasn't enough, and after one really bad fight with my family, I was seriously considering ending my life.

I told my parents what I sought to do, and they finally listened. They sent me to a mental hospital, and all of the pain from years of emotional roller coasters spilled out. The psychiatrist I was assigned to listened to my life story, and an intervention was called between me and my parents. My parents had to face the truth.

It's still really hard to believe I am where I am today. My mom finally really came around after that incident, while my dad at least tolerates me. I graduated, started college, and began my transition. Fall term I started dressing as a woman. By Winter term every article of male clothing I had was gone and my wardrobe was filled with woman's attire. People call me Maddy or Madeline instead of Matthew, and refer to me as a she instead of he. My mom loves having a daughter, which is probably the biggest surprise of all.

I still see a therapist and psychiatrist regularly. When my financial situation improves I intend to get on hormone therapy. I was planning to in August 2012 (which would be about a month after the time of this writing) but due to unforseen problems I need to reallocate my earnings toward maintaining my educational goals.

One thing is for certain, though: I have never been happier than I am now. So my message for all of you is thus: Life gets better. Even if it feels like your family will never accept who you are, keep trying. I'm sure in time my father will come to accept it; in fact, I look forward to that day. But for now, I guess I should wrap things up. Please, stay strong.

Madeline Koller - 2012/07/09

most beautiful thread i've ever read. . . this made me cher up! thank you so much for posting this :)

You are awesome! This is a beautiful story.

Reminds me of my friend's story, which is not mine to tell. She's a lesbian. I think it took her a while to believe that I actually supported her, because everyone else turned her away. Even her family. It's worked out in the end for her, mostly. She's been through a lot and I'm proud of her.

I did not see that coming.

kk, whatever you do, if you come to the situation that you wanna have a gender bender (actually change sex organs), SERIOUSLY consider the thought of being on a period every four weeks. You MIGHT get used to it... or you might not o,o even though it's nature, it's a nightmare T^T I wouldn't dare get into the detail. Imagine I was thinking what it was like to be a boy... no more periods... no more sexism... you can't get gang banged... no more fear of walking alone at night (I didn't have that to begin with anyway o,o) and best of all, if ya have a goal which includes strength (martial arts or swords and stuff) you can actually have a goal of becoming the strongest... not like a woman can, because there will always be someone stronger than her, most likely, a man >.< and it's so hard to sleep at night! T^T boobs too big, your chest proper hurts, it's like there's weights instead of bewbs T^T Plus there's the fear of waking up in a red bed (if you know what I mean)... it's scariest at sleepovers... like spilling tomato juice all over your friend's bed sheets O,O
Not trying to put anyone off or anything, all I'm saying is, there's a good side to everything as well as a bad side... just don't forget to consider the good side as well :O

>can't get gang banged

It's called homosexual rapists. There are those people, I mean, look at the prison rape shit.

>No more fear of walking alone at night

I'm a guy, and I'm scared of walking alone at night. Why? Because I might get shot for whatever reason, like I'm on someone's turf and they didn't like my face or some shit.

>best of all, if ya have a goal which includes strength (martial arts or swords and stuff) you can actually have a goal of becoming the strongest

I know stronger women than me, but then again you said goal of becoming the strongest, which I never had one to begin with. Still though.

And aren't you being sexist, saying shit like women can't do this and this, and men can do this and this? I'd say that's pretty sexist, but that's just me.

And I don't get why you're talking about having sleepovers, every gender has sleepovers, so that's not really relevant...

>>7 Dude, seriously..? Girl here, and let me tell you - you have to be really stupid to redbed in the first place. You're a dumbfuck in general if you manage to do it at a friend's house. That's just... How could anyone even manage that.

I'm a girl, and I'm plenty strong. Changing your gender isn't going to automatically give you huge muscles. You can be the top in your martial arts or fencing class and still be a girl; you just have to put all that sexist fuckery in your head and actually put some unbiased effort into it.

I'm sorry, but I pity you. You're a sorry excuse for a woman. You can't even take pride in your own gender; you're too busy thinking about all the stereotypes and assuming that everything would be better as a man. Instead of whining about how much your tits hurt, get a proper bra.

There's sexism towards both males and females, but the fact that you think you could suggest whether to make a gender changing decision just because you had some sexist slander thrown at you is disgusting. It's not that easy of a decision, and it's about time you sat back and looked at yourself and your gender realistically. Stop being a drama queen.

>>9 in your head aside*

>>8 damn, sorry if I was being sexist I didn't mean to be >,__<"

>>7 Sports with swords?I assume you mean fencing, which isn't strength based...

>>12 This.

There are actually a lot of both co-ed and female fencing groups :O

>>13 If I recall, one ad for the Olympics this year featured a woman fencer.

I still feel bad for what I said earlier so here: I apologize for my earlier comment. I was merely trying to voice my opinion and ended up spilling a shitload of bullcrap. I did in no way try to be sexist or cause discrimination, therefore I'll be more careful about what I say in the future and how I say it.

On the other hand, "you have to be really stupid to redbed in the first place. You're a dumbfuck in general if you manage to do it at a friend's house. That's just... How could anyone even manage that." Even though it's not on topic (and I know I brought it up) but here's the answer: People who don't wear tampons wear pads instead and the chances that it's totally leak-proof in most cases (DURING SLEEP WHEN YOU TOSS AND TURN) are quite low. So there, it leaks.

The OP's story mentions reasons why he'd prefer being the opposite gender, so I thought it was ok to mention reasons why I'd prefer being the opposite gender to my current one. I am not as good in voicing opinions, so what I said earlier was the worst I could do.
That, among other reasons why I do not feel comfortable as a woman is exactly why I made that idiotic comment. I don't feel comfortable making excuses either, but this is the best I could do to apologize. Once again, I was not being sexist intentionally.

>>15 I want to say that your first post did throw me for a loop because it did come off as very uninformed, but I'm not going to hold it against you. I feel I should clarify some things though.

Yes, I plan to get on hormones, and yes, I eventually plan to get genital reassignment. However, there is no medically possible way to transplant or develop a uterus/female reproductive organs in the male body. This of course means I'd never be able to have a child, but it also means my body cannot get periods.

On the other hand, the estrogens I plan to be taking can affect my mood, causing moodswings not unlike what a woman may go through during her menstrual cycle. Depending on how big my breasts become, it's possible that I will experience back pain (I will try to prevent this, obviously). Additionally, my muscles will atrophy slightly because there isn't as much testosterone, but it will be hardly noticeable.

I'm actually more worried about the medical risks (osteoporosis, breast cancer, blood clotting) than anything else. I'll really have to start taking better care of my body as I get older.

>>16 Ah, ok. I guess I learnt something new from the 2nd paragraph o,o and I hope everything goes well, that you won't get any breast cancer or stuff of that sort •,• and I'm still so damn sorry though QQ I really didn't mean to offend anyone '^'

This thread has really only gotten one in-depth story, and that was at the start. I suppose I'll be the second.

In truth, I'm still in the closet. You'll find that my name is 'Anonymous' in this thread for a reason. But the reason I came looking for this thread (and made one in the Random section without thinking lol), is because I've decided to come out to my best friend tomorrow. I'm scared to death.

I live in West Virginia, the least-tolerant place in America as far as I can tell. For a vast majority, if someone around here isn't some redneck asshole, then they're a deeply religious intolerant prick who would try to 'cure' me.

Oddly, my father is no redneck, nor is he religious, I guess he just sees homosexuality/bisexuality as gross. I'll never understand him, and in truth, I don't really care. First of all, I've never really cared for the man lol. I'm sure that my Mom would be tolerant with me, and I know my sister would never abandon me.

Tomorrow morning, at Band Camp, I've chosen to come out to my best friend Kelly. I already texted her, saying that I need to talk to her about something, to make sure that I can't chicken out. But...I'm scared. I'm scared of what people will think, should my secret get out. Not that she would ever give away my secret, but who knows who might be snooping?

I'm not ashamed of being bisexual, far from it. I'm actually happy that I'm unique from most people. I've always liked being different. But this time, it's different. I don't want to come out to the whole school for the sheer fear of my father disowning me (I wouldn't put it past him). Once I'm out of high school and get an apartment, though, he'll know.

Ah, but I'm rambling now. All I want now is help on coming out to my friend. I know that she'll accept me (yaoi fangirl...she may even like me more than before xD), but for some reason I'm still scared and don't really know why. Please help!

>>18 Thank you for sharing your story. I understand how you feel, having been there. I remember when I came out, I started by writing out what I wanted to say in a letter. I then simply handed the letter to the person I came out to (in this case my father). It may be one way to make coming out to your friend easier.

And fathers seem to have the hardest time with this. It's sad, but it happens. Just don't try to force him out of your life. Stay strong and try to accept him, because it's possible he might one day finally accept you. *hugs* I hope things work out.

>>18 I did see your post, but didn't realize you'd posted about it here, so I responded to the one in Random. Sorry 'bout that. I'll re-post here, although after reading this thread, it probably won't offer much in the way of additional useful advice.

Re-post:
Honestly, I'm probably not the best person to give you advice on this, but since this seems rather urgent, I'll try my best.

First, I don't think that's being ashamed of yourself. It's a very realistic fear, as people can sometimes be incredibly cruel and intolerant. As you've already said, there can be a huge social stigma attached to not being heterosexual, especially depending on who is around you. The best way I can think of to deal with that would be to meet others who are like you in that regard, since they wouldn't be judgmental towards you.

On the flip side, I'm guessing that you don't want to stop being friends with the friends you have now, especially since you trust one of them enough to come out to her. As far as actually saying it, you can talk circles around it all you want, but sooner or later if you want to tell her, you'll have to say it. And that can be incredibly difficult, especially if you're not sure how she'll react.

My advice would be to first be sure that you're comfortable with yourself about this. From reading your post, it seems like you are. Second, if you do want to tell your friend, well...just tell her. What you can also do, to maybe get a better feel for how she'll react and try to open up more of a dialogue between you two before coming out to your friend would be to express some of your reservations about discussing this (without yet stating what it is you want to discuss), and gauging her reaction, trying to see if she's being supporting or apprehensive or something else. And I think that if you get people talking a little bit, saying something of importance is a little easier because you're less nervous.

Also, if you do decide to back out of it, and if you can make it believable, you could make up an excuse as to why you don't need to talk anymore, and wait until you feel a little more comfortable and confident about it. Although, I wouldn't advise never telling anyone for fear of how they'd react, even if you're comfortable with it yourself. I think telling the right person/people can make a big difference. And if you can manage it, being less nervous helps because it puts the other person at ease as well.

Do you have any idea of how your friend feels about bisexuality? Just to be able to have a better idea of how best to broach the subject, or how she'd react?

Also, MKoller (or Madeline; sorry, I don't know which you prefer to be called on here), I just wanted to say that your story was very touching and I'm glad to hear that it's all started to fall into place for you. :)

Thank you guys so much for your help. By Eastern time zone in America, I should be coming out to her at about 12:30-12:45. Wish me luck!

>>21 Good luck! We're all rooting for you!

>>21 Good luck!

It went even better than I had hoped for!! She took it very well and gave me a hug, and then we ate Chinese food and discussed yaoi xD thank you guys do much for the confidence boost!!!!!!

My mom read my messages on Facebook....so she knows and things haven't gotten weird or anything :)

>>24 Awesome! Glad to hear it!

My mom knows I'm Bi, she's known, I didn't tell her my cousin did, I didn't want her to know, or at lest not until I felt like I could say it myself, I think it's almost been a month since then, I haven't told anyone in my family other than my cousin, I still haven't talked with her about it at all, I don't know what to say, I really don't want my family to disapprove of it, but I don't want to tell them after I have a girlfriend, my grandpa on my dads side would probably stop talking to me for ever, I told my friends during our Gay-Straight Alliance meeting in Oct last year, I was in 9th grade, it's almost Oct again and I do want to be open about it, but I'm afraid, can someone give me some advice, it would help and I would really appreciate any advice I live in Colorado, one of the most tolerant states, I don't care how other people see me, I never have, love me or hate me, but I don't want my family to be in the latter.

That was inspiring. I am really not a sympathetic type of person but all I can say is my thumbs are up for you. Stay strong and hold on to your beliefs! ^_^

This is a great thread! It's nice to hear how everyone else came out and everything.
At first, I came out to my mom as Pansexual. She said that she'd love me no matter what. I guess that went pretty well. But about a year ago, I started coming into terms with the fact that I felt more like a boy. A few months ago, I came out as FTM Transgendered to my mom. She didn't really understand, but she stuck with saying that she'll love me no matter what. Unfortunately, I was sent to the hospital a few days ago because my depressant medicine wasn't working and my parents were worried about me. Before we went in to see the hospital's doctor, my mom told me that she had told my dad i'm trans. I was waiting for the right time to tell him, but eh.
I've had it pretty easy when it comes to coming out. I guess i'm one of the lucky ones.
Stay strong, fellow dollars! Just remember that no matter who or where you are, someone loves you.

Hey everyone. I posted 18 and 24, but I have another problem. This time, rather than walking out of the closet, I feel like I've been dragged out forcefully.

The night I posted 18, I was Googling everything I could to help me come out to Kelly. When I woke up the next morning and thanked you guys for your help, I hadn't realized that I never closed the pages I found through Google. I just shut my laptop and was off to Band Camp, where everything went smoothly.

Little did I know that my sister came into my room to take my laptop and play Mabinogi (Don't think badly of her, I gave her permission because she has a Mac and can't play on her own laptop). When she opened it, she saw the pages and let my laptop be. She never told me about that until this very day.

She said that I could talk to her if I needed to, and laughed when I told her I found out I was bi through fanfiction. Though I couldn't help but notice that she was avoiding giving her opinion on the matter. Not really sure what I should do now.

You guys have helped me out in the past, don't fail me now! xP

The church finaly left my ass alone. It's great :D

>>30 It doesn't seem like there's anything you need to do. Life simply goes on with that knowledge locked in both of your minds. That isn't to say your sister couldn't be a valuable ally later on when you start experimenting with others.

I have nothing against homosexuals... but hormones and maybe a transplant? I'm curious as to why you would want to become female that badly. Idk because in my opinion, the only benefit to becoming female is bearing a child and being able to produce milk with your own boobs.... everything else is more for physical attraction one way or another.

I don't mean to offend if by chance I did. I'm just curious to hear out your reasons.

>>33 I can understand why you would think that way, but you're looking at transsexuality as if it's simply another form of homosexuality, which it isn't. It has a lot to do about how one sees their own self.

Most men subconsciously see themselves as being male. It's just hardwired into their brain, so they naturally adopt masculine mannerisms, self-expression, etc. Women subconsciously see themselves as women, so the same applies. With someone who desires to be the opposite sex, such as myself, it's "I look like a guy but I feel like a girl, and I don't know why I'm like this. No matter what I do, I want more than anything to live a female life."

Therefore, it's much easier to change my outward appearance than my inner emotions/behavior/mannerisms.

>>33 Transsexual and transgender are different from homosexual and bisexual.

Homosexuals and bisexuals are attracted to the opposite sex. Bisexuals are attracted to both, but I assume you already know that. That's what turns them on. That's who they're able to fall in love with. That's who they'll want to marry. That's what they are attracted to. When we look at what we want in our future husband/wife there's one thing that we don't intentionally list, and that's gender.

When I say, "This is what I want in my future husband..." I've already stated that I want to marry a guy. The same thing goes for homosexuals. When a homosexual thinks about who he'd fall in love with, then he says the same thing as I'd say. Wants he knows who he is, he does it unintentionally. Until then, he's confused. He doesn't know why he's different or what makes him different until the idea of homosexuality crosses his mind.

For transsexuals and transgender, it's much different. I've only personally know MKOLLER, but I've heard of many trans. I'm also using some information that I've heard from other transsexuals, but this is just something that I've heard people say who personally know more than I do. In a male to female case, when all of the girls are developing breasts, curves, and other feminine things associated with female puberty, that person will want nothing more to develop with them. They want boobs, the pretty dresses, and anything else that's associated with the female. From female to male, it's the opposite. The person that was born a female would do anything to grow a dick, balls, and anything else consistent with being a male. They feel like an alien inside their own body. They feel like they were born with the wrong set of parts.

As for transgender, they still see themselves as the opposite gender, but they don't want the parts. If MK didn't want implants and hormones, but still considered herself a female, she'd be a transgender. These people generally aren't super excited about developing, but they still see themselves as the opposite sex. If MK was a transgender, she'd still call herself a girl. She'd still dress like a girl. She'd still act like a girl. She'd still go out of her way to look like a girl (side note: transsexuals and transgenders look hotter than most girls. You don't understand how fucking jealous I get over that fact, MK.). They just don't see a need or want for the parts associated with being a girl. (Another side note: why must you change MK! You were hot as a guy. :( Although, if you changed your mind and decided to be a trangender, I'd probably date you.)

Girls to guys are again opposite. They do manly things. They look manly. They act manly. You get the point. I've heard of more girls than guys, so I can't really go into much detail on this.

Therefore, transsexuals and transgender are very different that homosexuals and bisexuals. That's two separate factors in their DNA and who they are. If MK liked girls, then she'd be a transsexual lesbian. If she liked guys, she'd be straight. If I remember correctly, MK is bisexual though. If MK decided that she was a guy, then she'd be a regular bisexual. Either way, you get what I mean. Those are two COMPLETELY different things.

By the way MK. I just found out that my sister dressed as a guy! Like, full out binding her chest flat and everything! I have to say, I bet she would've made a hot guy. She still sees herself as a girl though. She's just a girl who likes looking like a guy every now and then. I gotta love it! <3

I love this thread so much. I'm considering sending this to a bunch of friends for ideas on how to come out to their parents :)

Well, I guess I should start by saying I'm bisexual. I didn't know this until maybe May of this year, but after spazzing out for maybe 10 minutes(probably longer) to my friend through text (who told me she was bisexual as well), I was just like "Screw it, freaking out isn't going to fix anything. It's not that big os a surprise. And that was just coming out to myself basically XD A couple of my friends already knew I was bisexual because of how I act and stuff, and one was even confused when I said that I think I'm straight.

I love MK's story because it shows ups and downs to having to actually get out of the closet. On youtube(and deviantart), you can look up either twinfools or nova and come up with 2 different people who are dating. One is bisexual, and her boyfriend is transgender(FTM).

I've considered being transgender before I knew I was bi(which is kinda weird...) but I act like a guy and I am usually more comfortable around guys. At most, I'd probably just get hormones. Dunno though.

If anyone needs help coming out to a friend,I have to say, it's kinda scary. I made sure my friends are really accepting, then I was extremely blunt and just blurted out "I'm bi." but that's the only way I could tell them, because people don't get my hints -_-. My mom is still confused as to how she should react to it, like she doesn't know if she should talk to me as a guy or girl, while my dad acts like it's normal. My sister(one of em anyway) was like "I WAS RIGHT!" but that's because I make sure to surround myself around people who are accepting.

If you have family or something that isn't like that, just say that you are what you are when you feel comfortable. Right after, before anything can happen, explain reasons and feeling as to what you came out as, and maybe they will be more accepting.

I hope my extreme rambling helps everyone! Good luck to everyone who has posted!! :)

>>35 Lei, you seriously need to get over my sexy body. XD But you hit the nail on the head there. And you were correct, I am bi (having been with guys and girls and finding different degrees of attraction in both). Your sis sounds androgynous or genderqueer to me, preferring to blur the genders instead of picking one side over another. Who knows what decision she'll make?

>>36 If you decide you may want hormones, then you kind of have to commit to transition, because doctors only prescribe them to transsexuals. That said, it's not the most fun thing taking pills every day, they cost a lot and it's a lot of talking to psychiatrists and stuff. Right now I'm just on a vitamin supplement that has phytoestrogens in it (SINCE I'M POOR AS FUCK AND CAN BARELY AFFORD MEDICAL NOW). But just know that you have the support of all of us, and if you need any advice I'd be happy to talk with you.

This made me cry. But it was really inspiring. I'm bisexual and it took me a while to actually know it. I would find myself looking at girls too and then wondering if I was straight or not. I then found out that I was bisexual. I didn't know who to tell so I just let it out to my parents. They acceptd me easily and saying it's my life.

I wish you had similar parents. But I'm happy everything turned out for the best! :D

>>37 It's been a long time since she's actually dressed as a guy. She had to bind her chest, which fucking hurts. She calls herself a "dyke" or "dressing like dyke". I just didn't want to use that word because it's slang, and can be offensive.

On a side note. No, MK. I will never get over your fucking hot body.

I'm bi and I know it

>>39 I'm surprised she would refer to herself as one. But hey, to each her own. I will point out that I use the terms "shemale" and "tranny," but only when referring to pornography or having sex (since they are degrading words and sex, in itself, is rather degrading as it is; I have no fucks to give in those cases). And I don't care if others use those words in that context, but all other contexts and I will start slapping people in the face for it.

And fine, be that way.

>>39 My lesbian friends call themselves dykes :/ No matter how many times I say it's supposed to be derogatory word to insult lesbians who try to look like men (or women who look like men in general), they just don't get it.

I'm bisexual. I just wish I have the courage to say that in real life. Some of my friends already knew, some are okay with it and some others get so judging. I try to be secretive about it because it may make people around me uncomfortable. But sometimes I get tired of pretending and just want to shout it out loud. Especially when my friends make jokes regarding homosexuality and talk about it like it's some kind of disease. It's like I think about making them as comfortable around me all the time but they just don't do the same. Not that they're to blame anyway; they just don't know. It just gets tiring being in the closet sometimes.

I often contemplates about coming out, mainly because I want to properly date this person I like a lot, but I think it just won't do. I don't think people will treat me the same way as before if they know I like the same gender.

>>43 Sometimes you just have to wait till you can get away from them all, even if it means getting older and moving away. But never lose sight of who you are and how you feel.

As for your crush, I wouldn't worry about it too much. There are countless fish in the sea.

I'm bisexual but i got lucky because all my friends are bi. We actually flirt with each other all the time. No one else knows except my friends and my twin, that is till this summer. I started dating my friend whose the same gender but now i realise that she wasn't really bi that she's just saying that for attention. Because after we started going out she started telling people who were not friends with that were dating she also got very mean she would call me women and a dipshit so i broke up with her. I wanted to wait till the right time to come out of the closet and the begining of my freshman year wasnt the right time. But im fine with it because i got my friends to help me out

I was just wondering for all the people who just told their story, how did you react when you first found out?

TLDR

to be honest i was scared and i didnt think it was true at first and thought that i was going through a phase so i hid my feelings for a year or two until i was like damn cant get rid of it and i just imbraced it i guess

>>37 Yeah that's a good point... Eh. I'll figure all of that out later... But I hope all goes well with your transition!!!!
>>46 Like I said, I spazzed for 5 minutes(even though I considered the fact that I'm bi for many years, but didn't really care because no one else asked or anything) to a friend and then I was just like "Okay, have to accept this sooner or later.." and I got over it.

I have always known I'm bisexual. Honestly, I didn't even know that it wasn't "normal". I was much older when I somehow realize that girls normally like boys and vice versa. It was rather easy accepting myself because I've been this way for a long time. The hard part was I learn that being bisexual can cause trouble for myself and my family, as well as making others uncomfortable for being around me.

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Here's my story:
Ive known that I'm gay for years now, probably since like 7th grade, and now I'm gonna be a Junior in High School. I am not ashamed at all, but still am not completely out.
My boyfriend and I have been secretly dating for eight months now, and I really care about him. He's also in the closet, and we joke that we just share one xD
The problem with that is, the closet is rather cramped. We find that we tend to act a bit too friendly towards each other in public, spawning countless gay jokes from our friends (not that they know that they're actually true). The problem is that these jokes really hurt sometimes.
He and I are debating whether or not we should totally come out to everyone. I live with my Dad (mom died a few years back), but I don't know how he feels about homo/bisexuality and can't seem to figure it out for the life of me. What should we do?

Looking for help,
Takashi-San :3

>>52 How bad are the jokes?? If they're really bad why not just tell them if they are your friends and asked them to keep it a secret if you dont want anyone else to find out but if you dont want them to find out just tell them that you have a girlfriend and to stop saying it.

Awww, that is so nice! Really happy that you didn't kill yourself. Reminded me of a movie quote! Here, let me share:

Sam: It's like in the great stories Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end it's only a passing thing this shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines it'll shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you, that meant something even if you were too small to understand why. But I think Mr. Frodo, I do understand, I know now folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going because they were holding on to something.

Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?

Sam: That there's some good in the world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for.

Lord of the Rings: Two Towers ~~ for the win!!!

Things will always turn out good, so don't you people give up! <3

@Takashi-San, I think the best thing to do is survey your society. I came from an all girl's school where this sort of stuff is completely acceptable. It's not an issue of whether you are proud of who you are and your partner, or not. What matters most is if the reaction of society will destroy you or not. Do what you think is best, depending on how you think the people around you will react. Hmm. About your father, best get hints about how he will react. You don't want to shock him to death now, do you. If you really want to come out into the open, don't be hasty. Read your surroundings! Good luck!!!

And that's why your going to hell have fun swiming in the lake of fire! >:)

>>56
Oh, hey I missed you. Back from dick city?

>>57 go fuck yourself

>>56 I kind of regret saying I'd rather have you around than the faggots bitching about the chat. On the bright side, you seemed to have mellowed down a bit. Maybe we won't have to have you banned this time, I have no faith in you.

please be my best friend

>>58
You probably do on a daily basis :)

>>60 wins

reading everyones own stories made me feel much safer here in the dollars. i haven told my family about my sexual prefrence yet because I don't want them to tell me it's just a phase. i'm going to tell them when i'm older. but it makes me feel better being able to talk about it here safely with people who might be going through the same things.

I'm.. kinda gonna come out now.

I am a furry. Not the bad kind though, the "Oh let's get on our animal suits and have ab orgy" kind, the respectful," dress up as an animal just to feel like one" kind. Thing is though... I don't know how my dad will taske it. He has heart issues and i don't want to put him in the grave. I mean, i haven't told him i'm bisexual either. I don;t know how he'll react.

I mean. I feel like a freak in my own home because of this. My mom and little brother know but.... its just... I don;t know....

- Alexavier.

>>64
Is telling your dad about the Furry Fandom really necessary? It's a damn hobby, not a way of life.

OTB

Hey guys, I'm back. Look up for my other 'Anonymous' posts, because they're all me. Being honest, whenever shit goes down in my life (at least regarding my sexuality), I've come to rely on you guys. Hence, my reappearance.

So a bunch of my friends at school know about me. My sister knows through what is now known as the 'laptop incident'. In all honesty, things have been well up until recently.

One day, on the way back from work, my mom mentioned that there was a LGBT organization starting at my school. This was a rumor, one of my friends had been pondering the idea and I guess it got around, but without thinking I blurted out "It's about time." Fuck.

So to give you the short version, she all but asked me if I was gay. Of course I said no, being the chicken shit I am, but she then followed up with "You know you can tell me anything, I'll still love you no matter what." And, of course, I repeated my no, which was a lie.

On one hand, this made me feel amazing because I know my mom wouldn't care. On the other hand, I feel like my hands are tied when I feel like I want to tell her. All because of my dad who, as I mentioned before, is highly homophobic. He seems to have calmed down about the issue a bit since my last post here, but I know he would still think it's gross. Recently he brought up the phrase "Do what you want, just do it behind closed doors." while we were discussing the Election, because one of them supports gay marriage and blah blah blah...

Another two-pointer. On one hand, I know that he at least wouldn't throw me out if I told him because he'd probably just tell me to keep it to my self lol. On the other hand, I'm still terrified of how he'll react no matter what. And I know I should still expect the unexpected, because the possibility of him throwing my out always exists.

Neeeeed help, fellow Dollars!

My mom probably know are at least suspects. So does my older brother all because of a certain "incident". EIther way they don't care. My mom raised us to bleieve in what ever we want to believe in.

ive known i was gay since about 7th grade. ive told all my friends, my whole school knows, and the majority of them are fine. i had one incident last year, but im not gonna get into that. i told my mom, and she believed me, but my stepdad didn't think i knew what i was talking about, which i don't care about cause hes an asshat. i don't know what to tell my dad cause hes kinda homophobic and will ask me if theres any girls i like. also, one of my friends is kinda strange about it and (when he gets real mad, which has only happened twice and won't happen again most likely) has called me a dirty gay. my friend also tries to hold my crush over my head and threaten to tell the whole school. any help? and sorry for the rambling lol

I was really worried about coming out. Yeah well I told some friends and my father an felt like it was all forced of me. And then I got the best advice ever and I use it every time I'm overthinking it or being worried about it to much.
Let things flow - when you feel like it - do it, everything will turn out somehow. There's nothing wrong with waiting.
I have that thought in my mind so if it comes to sexuality in our class I don't deny being gay. And guess what? Nobody cares. Me and a bi classmate (male if you need to know) stick together. He came out first and though there are homophobic slurs used very often, nobody (in our school) cares about these things. Well our country is actually really tolerant (but we have a homophobic president though)
/Czech republic/

I know that it isn't viewed the same in basically every society, but I'm an asexual (yes, that's a thing) - which has actually caused a bit of emotional strife in my life. No one will believe me if I tell them that I'm asexual so I've given up trying. The last time that I tried to tell someone it was my brother's girlfriend and of course she instantly tried to tell everyone that would listen that I'm gay because she thought I was lying and trying to come out as a homosexual but couldn't.
I haven't even tried to tell my dad's girlfriend of two years, as she seems content with the idea that I'm going to marry an Asian woman for some reason - so I've just started telling her I don't plan on getting married. I just wish people knew what the hell asexual means instead of trying to force me into their shitty black and white ven diagrams of either hetero, homo, or bi on me.
(btw, to anyone who doesn't know, an asexual is someone who isn't attracted sexually to anyone)
If people start knowing that, that would make coming out a bit easier for people like me. We aren't taken seriously in this society.

>>71 I'm sorry to hear that... I know where you're coming from For a long time, I thought I was asexual. Turns out I was demisexual, but it's true that the two can be hard to differentiate. I remember that I used to get the whole "only plants are asexual" speech. Nobody even wanted to acknowledge it as a sexuality (or lack thereof). But hey, by the sound of it, the people around you at least understand that you're not talking about plant reproduction. :P

I wish you luck with everything!

>>71 I'm sorry that people around you don't understand what being asexual means. :/ If it makes you feel better, I'm pansexual and barely anyone knows what that means either. I also have a friend, my best friend, who is asexual...I already knew what that meant and I already knew that my friend was never really attracted to guys or girls so it made sense to me~ :)

interesting story Respect !

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I'm asexual and nobody knows about it. Every person around me thinks that only plants are asexual ==

....Wow.... Amazing story, mate. I'm glad it worked out for you. :) Stay strong. <3

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>>76 People are stupid.

As for me, comming out? Hah, I never came out 'cuz I was never in the closet. Baby, I was born this way~♥

GOD

HATES

FAGS!

>>80 STOP

>>81 HATING

>>82 DUMBASS
(please continue this thread normally)

This Thread is... Beautiful.! <3
Sorta makes me want to call of my friends and tell them I'm bi. I know, its not that bad, but people still get insecure. Plus my girl isn't ready fro all their criticism and not tho mention how our (her) patents will react, since they're all religious and ish.
Once I knew a guy like he was cute and all and since I saw him every day I didn't really notice how he was changing until one day I was walking home from school and it hit me. That HE was no longer a guy, but was instead a girl. I don't know but even after the change and all I still thought he, sorry I mean she, was cute <3
But anyway, I like this thread <3

>>1 Madeline! you are great! I love this and all your other threads! Sexuality aside I think you are great! and yeah,I'm bi, well, because I like people who are strong regardless of their gender.. It can't be helped, I'm a classic human falling for the things I find beautiful. I have mixed feelings when it comes to sexuality talks but I think people should come out and talk about now because it matters so much and for others it is the line to cross for self-acceptance. *sigh* But really, the day of happiness for me is when talks like this diminish , by then (probably) people who love others regardless of gender will not be so harshly judged and it will be a totally accepted thing cause frankly, my logic finds nothing wrong with it. :3

I can't believe how long it's been since this thread started! It looks like there are a lot of people out there with alternative sexualities/gender identities. Some of you have come out and some of you are still working on it, but I just want to say that I'm glad you all are getting comfortable with who you are!

It's funny, I moved back home in August, and for the past six months I've noticed a rather large lesbian population in my area. Bear in mind that my town is rather redneck, so seeing more people out and living as they choose is a really good thing!

I thought I'd just give you guys an update on how things are going. I'm enrolled in a new college, so while I only know a handful of people, I'm getting along with most people I see. I'm still looking for a new job, but that will come with time and assuming the economy gets better. I've been living as a woman for so long now that it's pretty much completely natural to me now. So there is hope! You can achieve your ideal self if you just make it pass the bullshit and stay positive!

- Madeline Nicole Koller

:D yeah, when I told my sister that I had a girlfriend I just glared while telling her... while waiting for her reaction... I was so nervous and I was on the verge of throwing up.. then when she just grinned at me I was so relieved and everything was normal... Other friends have had difficulties when it comes to coming out, I even know people who were beaten up.. I just feel so happy that I have a good family... shit, if they beat me up i'll make sure I get back at them tenfold! hahah! but yeah, I've had no problems with other people trying to make me know that i'm disgusting for being who I am cause well, i'm happy that i'm not harsh like them. :D ~ nyeeee

Reading some of your stories has given me the courage to talk about me a little bit too. Although it's nothing as big nor serious as what I read here, it's something that has messed with my head for a while, and only now I feel like I can finally give up on it.

I've been in love with my best friend for about two years now. I'm pretty sure I'm not a judgemental person myself, I'm all up for everyone being happy the way they want with whom they want, without thinking about gender so long so people are happy, but the realization that the one in this was me kind of took me completely by surprise and left me shocked for a while.

At the beginning I just brushed it off as affection, you know, we are good friends and it would feel only natural to feel protective and attached to the other person, even as friends. Being together felt like the most natural thing in the world.

But in time, something started to feel a bit different. I felt different. And when one day she came over to me crying cause the latest bastard had cheated on her or something, I felt a stab in the heart, and the only thing I wanted to do was hug her and kiss her and tell her that I would have always loved her for what she is. But I didn't tell her that, I just told her that she deserves better in this world, and that he was just a massive jerk who didn't understand how lucky he had been and stuff like that. The things that you'd expect to hear from a friend I guess.

Realizing that I was actually "infatuated" with her started to make me feel nervous. I started to get self conscious of what I was wearing and what she was wearing when we were together, and I found myself forcing jokes about guys with her, just to look normal.

It just happened one night that we had a huge house party, and everyone got quit drunk. Now, I know her very well, and when she started hugging me and things I was getting really confused. Did she feel something for me? Why did she do that? When she tried to kiss me I almost lost it, I was going mental, and I had to leave the room. Some other friends came to look for me, and I just couldn’t hold it in any longer. I started crying telling them that I was madly in love with Lei and I didn’t know anymore what to do.
I will be forever grateful to the people that came over, for being so kind and understanding. They asked me at first if it wasn’t simply me being drunk, tired, lonely or anything like that, but when they realized I was completely serious they just hugged me and said they'd be with me anyways.

After some time I just couldn't stand it anymore. I was getting weird mood changes, and I couldn't even pretend to be happy now when she talked about someone she liked now. So it just randomly happened that I told her that I love her. I think this was the most embarrassing and nerve-racking moment of my life. I'd never done anything like this before, it was always the other person who told me things like this. And I was terribly scared of rejection or anything, but at the same time I knew I had to tell her, it was eating me alive. I also told her that I was not really expecting a reply, and probably this was just for my own convenience, not wanting to hear anything negative. She was genuinely surprised, I saw her banking at the beginning, obviously thinking "well yeah, I love you too", without realizing what I actually meant.
And we were interrupted by some people before I could finish things up properly.

After that we have not brought up the topic at all, but there was a little bit of distance between us. She would stop talking about guys with me, and I could feel the air tensing if we were left alone together. And I hated it. I couldn't stand one minute of it. I decided I had to do something about it. So I told her that she didn't have to take this thing too seriously, I didn’t want to bother her or anything, and that I would still be her friend as if nothing ever happened.

Since then it's been almost five months, and things have gone back to normal. Though we don't live together anymore for university reasons, we see each other very often. She found herself a good guy, and I'm really happy for her. Sometimes I get the impression she feels a bit uncomfortable about me and him being in the same room, but it could very well be my own mind playing tricks on me.

To get to the point of the whole thing, I'm still working out what exactly I am. I don’t think I'm lesbian, cause she is the only girl I ever felt this strongly for. I have other girl friends with whom I'm just as much good friends, but she is the only one I ever loved this much. And I don’t understand why. Also, I realize that I'm not lesbian cause I do find men attractive, and I've had some light crushes even now. But they were nowhere as serious.

I don’t know why, but I find that I can't get close to anyone right now. Even though I try, it just doesn’t work, and as much as I'm trying to get her out of my mind, it doesn't always work. I manage to keep the façade in front of her and her boyfriend, but I can't do it all the time and I'm getting tired of it.
I just don't know anymore what to do. I'm so confused about myself, and wish things would be simpler to understand at least for me.

Sorry about the long and messy post, but I guess you could call it the juice of the facts. Also, I apologise if my english sounds a bit weird at times, but it's not my first language, so it gets a bit difficult to talk about such things.

Hi guys. None of you know me, and I don't post often on the boards because I prefer to be a casual observer of things rather than an active participant in the conversations. I've read this entire thread and I just want to say that I love you all so much. I don't know you and I may never know you personally but I feel like the very least I could do is send out some ♥♥♥ to each of you. So to keep in the spirit of the thread, here's my little tale:
I'm 24 years old and just last year I started identifying as bisexual. For years upon years I struggled with my sexuality. Having been sexually abused during my formative (ages 11-15) years, I didn't really have a positive attitude toward sex or relationships at all. All I knew was that I hoped there was a special place in hell for men. Since then I've met plenty of nice guys and that attitude has changed, but that's a story for an entirely different thread if it ever exists.
Right now I want to talk about my first love, a girl I'll call C. Throughout middle school I had crushes on guys and girls, but I always thought I felt that way toward other girls because I enjoyed being friends with them. Looking back, I don't suppose "friends" often daydream of kissing each other's breasts, but I didn't know anything about things of that sort back then.
When I got to 10th grade, I moved to another city and pretty much had to start the 'making friends' process over from scratch. First period was algebra and after a couple of weeks I started to notice the girl that always sat in the front corner next to the board and slept through class every day. After a while the teacher moved the desk and she began sitting next to me (later she admitted it was because I looked like the nicest person in the room) and we struck up a friendship. We would talk during assignment time and later, after our teacher was arrested and we no longer had an actual teacher (the vice principal would write our homework on the board and leave worksheet packets on the teacher's desk for us daily), we had a lot more time to speak to each other during class. It was the only class we had together and my main motivation for getting to school on time in the mornings.
She was beautiful, smart, funny, and sweet. The sort of things I still look for in a woman to this day. It wasn't just her looks that made her attractive, it was her entire personality. When she told me she had a boyfriend back in her home state, my heart did a little twist. I was jealous of him. Every day I would carry her backpack from the class portable to her locker for her and she'd give me a hug goodbye. She frequently lamented, "If you were a guy, I'd probably have a crush on you." and would hold my hand until we reached her locker. At the end of the school year she told me that she was moving back to her home state and gave me a kiss on the cheek on the last day of school.
It was at that moment that I realized I was in love with her. Impossibly and stupidly in love with her and couldn't do a damn thing about it.
Almost 10 years later and I'm finally coming to terms with that fact that I'm bi. I was never really denying it, I just never put a label on it until I met more people who were either bi or gay or transgender.
To this day I still have feelings for her, and she is the standard to which I hold all of my female crushes. I don't tell hardly any of the men I date because most of them would ask for a threesome and I'm not really down for that.
Anyway, just thought I'd finally say SOMETHING here and this thread felt like one of the ones that I felt like I really had a place in posting on.
Thanks for being Dollars~

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MKOLLER youve probably heard this before but i my self am still closed about my transgender to family and friends. im so afriad and so scared that they will hate me or stop wanting to be around me. that i havent told anyone but the people here. what coulo to get around this.

>>98 Really, it depends on your age, living situation and whether or not transition is viable at this time in your life. What I mean is that if you can embrace the worst-case scenario and come out fine, then you'll be able to handle the situation regardless of whether the outcome is ideal or not.

Basically, if you're largely independent and can start transition then do it. Approach your family and friends slowly and help them understand what is going on, why you feel as you feel, and why this is an important step in your development as a person. They might understand; they might not. If they don't at first, at least you can give them time.

If transition is not viable, then you're best holding off until it is. I won't sugarcoat it; there was a lot of hate in my household after I came out, and it didn't go away for three years. I still have shaky relations with my father. Sometimes to be who we are, we have to wait until the time is right.

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Bump because inspiring and shit. Honestly. :)

GOD HATES FAGS!

>>103 shut up GHF... You aren't fooling anyone... Next time, change your trip code...

>>60 Holy shit I just realized that this is Jake English! :O THERE ARE HOMESTUCKS IN THE DOLLARS!!!

Sorry, randomness

fvbh

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I haven't really come out to anyone yet.

But my name is Em and I'm a lesbian. So yeah. >.>

Some of my closer friends seem to have caught on and think I may be bisexual, but I haven't really had any serious conversations about my sexuality.


I remember when I was in elementary school, and all of my female friends had gotten through the "boys are icky" stage. They thought I was weird because I wouldn't decide which Jonas Brother that I wanted to marry, and wouldn't giggle over the fifth grade boys. I ended up just faking it, for the sake of feeling normal.

Then in middle school, my female friends were all terribly desperate for boyfriends, but I really couldn't care less. My best guyfriend ending up asking me out in sixth grade, then again in seventh, and eighth, and I still feel like a bitch today for not giving him a decent explanation as to why I wouldn't give him a chance. I couldn't explain it, but as close as I was to him, I couldn't feel anything. All of my friends had their one-week flings, and I just was waiting for someone to come along that I would like.

And they did.

I had developed a terrible crush on a girl I barely even knew when I was in the seventh grade. She was an eighth grader, a cheerleader, and in chorus with me. I thought she was so pretty, cool, talented, and generally awesome. I just wanted to be around her and for her to feel the same way about me. It took me a while to realize what kind of feelings I had for her. I felt like a freak, to be perfectly honest. I thought maybe it was a fluke, or that I was just jealous of all of the nice qualities she had. So I kept my mouth shut, and still masquerading as a perfectly straight girl to save face.

I finally gave in and dated a boy for the first time. We were on Spring Break on a school field trip together, and I had been hanging out with him among a large group (most of my friends have always been male), and he apparently got the idea that I liked him. Before he had asked me, another boy I met on the trip had, too. I turned him down, though. The next day, I was greeted with all of my male friends telling me I should've at least given the poor guy a chance, and I felt terribly guilty. So when the next guy asked me out, another one of our friends pressured me to say yes, and I did, even though I didn't even have any sort of attraction to the boy. He asked to kiss me, but I refused. The idea alone really grossed me out, but I just said I didn't want to rush things. I broke up with him after a week of guiltily not being attracted to him.

I've been asked out by a good number of guys, but I've never been sexually attracted to a boy. I'm a rising sophomore in high school. I've even tried to date other boys that didn't seem like complete jerks, hoping that in time, I might develop feelings for them. But I never have. One of my ex-boyfriends kept trying to get me to make-out with him, and I did once... I'm not going to lie; I almost vomited. I hated it so much.

I have no problem noticing cute girls, and I've had a crush on quite a few girls in the past. But right now, I really think I'm falling for someone. I've been friends with her for a while, and I know she's at least bisexual. I want to tell her I like her, but I don't want to come out of nowhere and start dating another girl when nobody even realizes I'm not straight. And I definitely don't want to hear her say that she doesn't have any feelings at all for me in that sort of way.

I don't really intend to tell my parents until it's really necessary. I think I could manage to tell my dad, but never my mom. I think my mom currently thinks I'm bisexual. I'm really open about the fact that I support Same-sex Marriage, but I also have a close friend who is openly gay. I've also had heated arguments with her about people who are LGBT (one of which ended with me telling her off about how she was being ignorant for thinking homosexuals caused AIDS). She's asked me if I was bisexual before, but I said no (it wasn't a lie; I'm not bisexual, because I have zero attraction to males). My parents know I plan to adopt my children, just not the reasoning behind it.

The issue of my closeted sexuality is like fire to my current state of depression. I feel like I'm so alone right now and nobody understands why, and I don't know how to tell them why. It's eating me away and I'm so terrified of what everyone will think, that I've just bottled everything up. It's especially become a problem as of late for me because I really, really like this girl and I just want to tell her.

>>110 If nothing else, I would recommend talking to a guidance counselor about it; someone who can listen to you without judging and help you release all the pent up anxiety that surrounds your closeted sexuality. It'll be up to you when you want to come out, but to be honest, the sooner is often the better.

If your school is open about LGBT issues, then it wouldn't be that big a problem. That would just leave your family. All in all, you are going to have to face them and see it through, even if it means the potential arguments and tears. Just know that the rest of us on here support you regardless of what you choose to do. *hugs*

>>111 Guidance counselors judge you a lot :I at least, mine does.

You might want to feel your counselor out before you start talking to them about anything serious.

>>112 You have a point there. I dunno, I have the same counselor in college as I did in high school (which happened completely by chance but is totally awesome). So she's known about my GID for years and it's been no problem. But yeah, you are right.

>>110 It doesn't matter who you talk to about your situation as long as you can trust them. Just not having to hide it will help.

It's great to come out with your feelings nomatter how hard it gets for you. I have one question though are you a boy girl or shemale.

>>111 >>112 >>114 Thank you. *hugs* I've actually talked to a school counselor about a different issue a few weeks ago. She seemed rather understanding and sincere, but it was about a completely different issue that was lot easier to relate to (one of my close friends attempted suicide, and I was the only one at my school who knew for a good few days). I've thought about approaching her about this, but I might get through the summer before talking about it... because I have less than two weeks of school left.

I've really thought about telling one of my friends and talking about it, because he came out as gay this past year and he's the only person I can think of who might understand what I'm going through.

>>115 I don't know if that was directed at me, but I'm a fourteen-year-old girl. :T

>>116 Post >>115 was actually directed toward post >>1, I'm assuming. Just ignore it because it doesn't apply to you.

To answer >>115's question, I'm a male-to-female transsexual. "Shemale" is a derogatory term for it so I'd suggest you not use it.

Jesus, you could turn that OP into a narrative.
A good one too.

Transsexual. I've known since I was 4. Quite a few people know and I look good in clothes of the opposite sex. So this isn't really coming out, just posting because I can.

I'm a transsexual. I'm also an asexual pansexual/omnisexual. And I hate it that my family keeps treating it like it's a phase. Or that they think I'm strictly gay because they don't understand the term no matter how many times I describe it.

I was raised unisex and am bisexual/pansexual. My dad will never know unless I get married or date the same gender, but my mum knows and accepts me (she is a gay romance author after all). Most people don't know I am what I am, and in a sense, my life is easier that way. This is for all the Dollars out there to see now. "Judge me for who I am, but I will never change."

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Well, I identify as MTF even though I can't even afford to transition yet, being in my senior year of highs school. I'm attracted to people rarely, and even then, its only girls. I honestly just got rejected, but the girl said I have a chance once she gets over another person she has feelings for. I just thought I would share this. Always keep your head up, and find ways to make things work, no matter how hard a time people give you. I'm open even in school about who I am, and even went to my senior ball in a dress. Progress is being made, so have confidence in yourselves. I wish the best for all of you. Even people who harass us, because they need even more help getting lead to the right path.

>>7 This described my thoughts so well.
At some point, I thought I was bisexual. Maybe transgender.
I'm pretty sure I'm straight now and because I've scared my family so many times if I came out saying I was bi or something they'd just shrug and say "Pass the toast."
I admire the female body. I admire how soft the skin can be, and long legs and flawless breasts. I find dark haired females especially attractive. But not exactly sexually... So I'm still a bit confused. I just love our perfumes and shampoo scents. Male colognes smells nice too, but it doesn't make me want to take a large whiff like the more feminine scents.
I have a male and female roomie, and I don't like seeing either of them naked. The male always walks around in just his briefs and the girl in the house unfortunately has no cares about walking around naked. It makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable. But I'm pretty sure that's just because I'm modest and I've never seen other females tid bits nor do I want to. When the male is walking around, at first I was very uncomfortable because, once again, I'm modest and I don't see many men half naked. Now, I'm just repulsed by his hair nipples. Huge Turn Off. Like, seriously, Wax That Shit.

So yeah, tl;dr: Is it alright for a girl to admire other females body parts and find dark-haired girls especially attractive, but still be straight? It's not like I'm sexually attracted, so I'm just wondering.

>>127 I would say it is alright, because admiration and sexual attraction aren't the same. You can think and actually say you find a woman attractive, it doesn't mean you want to sleep with her.
I'm not sure wheter I'm making myself very clear on this one, but I would say you should just remember that many straight woman think of each other as beautiful or attractive, but there isn't any sexual tension between the two.

>>129 ADMIRATION! That was the word I was looking for!
Thank you!

GOD

HATES

df

df

df

df

df

GOD HATES FAGS!

GOD HATES FAGS!

ds

GOD HATES FAGS!

ds

ds

GOD HATES FAGS!

GOD HATES FAGS!

GOD HATES FAGS!

Nope! Only love here

>>151 Love the picture and have totes stolen it.

Needs bumps

bumps

Hey, guys.
I'm really confused right now. I'm beginning to think I might be a FTM trans. I'm genuinely so confused about this I don't even know if it's real or if I'd just be a "tomboy."

I do not like having breasts, I don't think I ever have. I also don't exactly "hate" my body, though, either; I appreciate that I have a fine, healthy female body and always feel guilty whenever I think about being a male physically. I can't stop thinking about how I'd be "wasting" it.

Even if I were to become a boy, more than about people accepting me I'm scared that I'd regret it in the future. I don't want to be put on medications or have surgery to change my appearance if there's a risk of regretting it all one day...

I've never tried wearing boys clothes before, but I don't exactly wear the girliest things either. The most girly I'll get is stockings, Hot Topic gloves, and boots.

Throughout my life, the more I think about it, the more I realize I just get along better with males and can't quite understand females most of the time.

When I was not anti-social and had friends, they were mostly guys. The majority ended up liking me romantically, so I always just stopped being friends with them and getting pissed at them just because they liked me in that way. I think the reason I was so mean to any guy who liked me romantically was because I didn't want to be viewed as a female; I wanted to be their "male bud" and got greatly sub-consciously offended.

So...Does anyone have any advice, please? Am I just in a phase or just a tomboy or am I actually a trans...?

>>155 if you are trans then there's no hope for you. but is sound more like your turning into a fag then trans. ether way god still hates you and you will go to hell where you belong.

>>156 But I'm not attracted to women at all, so I wouldn't be homosexual.

>>155 Look, I am no expert on the subject, and I certainly don't know you very well, but it sounds like you might just be a masculine female. I for one, an effeminate male, but despite sharing qualities with females, does not mean that it would be the best option to go through a sex change. Modern society has opened up a lot of doors in terms of gender restrictions, and the lines between whose qualities are whose are getting (in general) more blurred than usual. Having a sex change would severely tip your life upside down too, if you want it enough to go through that kind of upheaval, go for it. Just think about it first and really consider it.

>>156 shut up ghf. Everyone is really tired of you preaching b.s. and i am sure you are not helping HAM by condemning her to hell

>>155 & >>157 ignore ghf. He will condemn people to hell just for crossing him. I'm not sure how much help my advice will be but i'll suggest a few things anyways. I suggest you push the whole issue into the back of your mind for a few months. If you notice your slight dislike for being female turns into a burning hate, then you may very well be a trans. If it fades into the background, dont worry about it again. I agree with you about the not wanting to regret taking meds or having surgery. That is something you should be 100% sure you want before going through with it because it does have permanent effects. I wish you the best of luck no matter what you deside to do.

>>157 If you are not attracted to women then you are most definitely not a homosexual.
You may just not be interested in any men if you have not found anyone that you are okay with then don't worry about it.
If you ever meet a girl and you are absolutely 100% sure that you are sexually attracted to that girl more than you have to any boy ever before, let it sit for a while, if those feelings do not change then you are a homosexual.
As for thinking that you are a transgender because you act like a tomboy and get angry when a boy sees you as a potential partner it may just be that you are not interested in that person. It's not being trans, you're getting the wrong idea.
I guess what I'm really trying to say is, it might just be a phase or it might just be who you are as a person. From my own biased opinion on what you have said I will tell you not to become a transgender you might end up regretting it. Again, let it sit for a long while. If you ever meet a boy that you like, or a girl. Just let that sit and settle too. Then make your decision with a lot of thought for your future and the endeavors, whether you are willing to overcome them or not.
Again, just my opinion.

>>158 >>159 >>160 Thanks :3 I'll try to not think about it for a while and if I really hate being female then I'll talk to someone irl about it.

Hey guys, I've just been awkwardly creeping in the background for a week or so now, so I thought I'd post here! But first....

To HAM: I know several girls who don't like having boobs either, so that doesn't automatically mean you are trans. Also, if you feel guilty about being a male, there is a good chance you aren't. But, if you wanna make sure and check, look around the internet, see how FTMs feel usually, and see if that helps. I might be able to provide info if you need it.
Then about your friends. I actually kinda get it. I feel like things would get awkward, and I personally would just be like "GOD DAMN IT YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE ME OVERTHINK THINGS AND TOTALLY DESTROY OUR FRIENDSHIP!" But that's me. Also know girls who are straight and enjoy being a girl who like acting like a guy and feel like they are on their level.

Just wanted to say I'm a bi transexual(FTM, but I like being known as a guy on the internet), and while I have resources and things, I'm scared as shit to tell me parents, especially because my mom still looks at me weird after she found out I was bi :/. And because of the fact that whenever I complain about dresses or feminine anything, she and my sisters start getting mad at me, and I had a break down once because of it. Any suggestions on how to casually slide that into a conversation?

>>162 I DON'T BLAME THEM FOR BEING MAD AT YOU! IF I WAS YOUR MOTHER I WOULD BET THE SHIT OUT OF YOU THEN DISOWN YOUR ASS! YOUR GOING TO HELL YOU FILTHY HUSSY!

>>162 I'm on the razors edge of being transgendered. I am so unphased by gender restrictions that I don't really like saying "I'm male" and I never enjoy being treated like I can do something strenuous simply based on being male. I would rather cross dress or at the very least find a way to alter my clothes to have some feminine style to them. (Come on Fashion industry! No effeminate men's wear ever? Big market opportunity) I used to regularly get my nails done in a salon until due to my work at a hospital I couldn't wear nail polish I was told by a female surgeon who by the way had pink and purple nail polish on. (DOUBLE STANDARD!) I really see that a guy who is willing to put colorful nail polish on without thinking about it as a statement and more like "I enjoy colorful nails" that's the sort of man who will really respect both genders since he doesn't really fit the sterotype of men fight.
(I know everything I typed will confuse most of you, I was ranting and I get off track. I'll repost if you give me organizational tips.)

>>164 No worries dude, I do that too. I'm not that confused, just kind of wondering how to respond properly. That's awesome you would wear nail polish! If you want feminine-style clothes, maybe check major girl stores; I feel like sometimes they have girl-styled men's clothes.(okay, why the hell doesn't this thing register 'men's' as a word? Damn it auto-correct -_-) Anyway, I agree that a man who doesn't fit the stereotypical male will respect both genders. Organizational tips? Might wanna explain that to me more because I'm slightly confused there. But I'll say that you could be transgendered, but are fine being a transvestite (it happens, I swear!)So sorry, that's all I got for now. What kind of tips do you want? (Also, I think someone has a caps-lock problem.)

>>165 by organization tips I meant I felt my reply was sparatic in the direction I was going. I tend to type how I talk. I might be mixing topics so I meant how to organize thoughts.

>>166 Just re-read your posts before you reply and make sure everything makes sense :)

As for the clothes, there are tons of girl clothes that represent more guy's styled clothing.

It's kinda silly if you think about it; how girls acting manly are accepted (tomboy) and guys acting feminine aren't as much.

>>167 agreed, I really don't get why it's bad for a boy to want to be beautiful, if it makes women feel good, who can say it won't make me feel good or at least confident.

^

DOMA is repealed, so.... Anyone hear the good news?

>>168 that's double standards for you. *eyeroll* I'll never get why... But I agree with >>167, you can find women's clothes that are good feminine men's clothes, you just have to find the right store.

And I didn't hear about DOMA actually, thanks for telling me! (needs to start reading news...)

Just so you guys know I came out to my family about beings a transgender. So, I'm not just a tomboy...Heh. And now I want one of those fake dick things so I can pee standing up xD

I found out that my personality, whether I like male or female things, doesn't matter in terms of what gender I feel like I am. I just want to point that out to everyone going through the same thing I am. You are never "not masculine enough" or "feminine enough" to feel like the other gender.

Hi, I'm James pelletier. I am a guy and i am bisexual.

I first noticed in middle school around sixth grade, right on the budding of puberty, that I thought both guys and girls were cute. Being only twelve I thought nothing of it because I was still young and who I liked didn't matter much because I was still preoccupied with other things and not having sexual urges. But when I turned 14 I started having feelings for a boy in my class. I was raised in a bigoted, racist, christian, homophobic family, so when I realized that I was having feelings for this boy I got scared, really really scared. You see, I thought that liking a member of the same gender was wrong because I had heard from everyone around me talk about "those faggots should all be shot and sent to hell early because jesus says so" my entire life. So naturally I was in denial, I didn't accept myself or any other people around me that were gay or bisexual. I jeered and haunted and bullied because I couldn't face the fact that I could feel attracted to another man ever. Until I got a text from my crush at sixteen, just saying hey, but at that moment my heart started pounding and my adrenaline rushed, then I realized at that moment that I was wrong and I apologized to every person i had hurt with my words. It didn't work out with that boy but I am still looking for the right person for me. Be they boy or girl.

I am coming out here because I can never come out to my family because of the way that they are. I can never be myself so i decided that this is would be able good step for me to take to prepare myself in case I fall for a guy angle have to tell my family.

I have always known that I like girls though. Although I am not partial to either gender.

I'm coming out as pan curious (for people who don't understand pansexuality, it's basicaly an attraction for men, women, transexuals, cross dressers, etc.). I'd probably never come out to my family because most of them are conservative Christians. This was hard for me to accept due to how I was raised and I was in denial for 2 years. If they knew this, they'd probably disown me and tell me I'm going to H*** and all that. I'd say more but I'm using a digital keyboard and I HATE USING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well...I never had a chance to come out of the closet I kinda fell out flat on my face.

Bump.

I identify as being gender-neutral or gender-queer.

As a result of such, I am also pansexual.

I don't have an official coming out story since I never sat my parents down and told them about my gender-indentity or my sexuality.

However, I correct people a lot about what proper pronouns to use when referring to me. Unlike most gender-neutral people, I do care about what pronouns are used to refer to me. Most gender-neutral people don't care what pronouns are used, they don't mind being called she or he.

I, on the other hand, prefer to be referred to using pronouns such as zhie, zher and zhim.

Over time, people just slowly got over the fact that I didn't have a gender.

As for my pansexuality, I never fully approached my parents about it either. I began showing signs of bisexuality since I was in Kindergarten, whenever I openly said that I found males, females and transgendered people attractive (Yeah, I was a seedy kid).

At my school and with my parents, they knew my gender-identity and my sexuality, but they never really cared.

Maybe it's because of the generation I was born into, but I've legitimately never experienced any sort of hate crime for being the way I am.

I've only ever met one homophobe too. And ironically, that boy in my English class realised he was an FTM trans in Year 10.

So I've been keeping this in for a while now, and I think here is a great place to just come out. I'm bisexual. I think I began noticing a while ago, when I started noticing just how beautiful my best friend since third grade is. It was a shock when I realized that I have pretty much the biggest crush on her possible, but I've slowly come to terms with the fact. Now I just have to convince myself to tell her.

...I really do want to tell her how I feel, but at the same time, I'm so freaking scared. I don't want to ruin our friendship, since I cherish being with her so much. And rumors at my school about us being "together" are already being scared, and it's really affecting her. She began distancing herself from me at one point, but since then she's stopped. I'm really confused and I don't know what to do... Should I tell her how I feel and risk damaging our friendship, or just stay quiet and enjoy our current relationship? Please give advice, I'd appreciate it so much!

>>179 well, if shes really your friend she won't "drop" you if you are honest to her. If she doesn't like you in a relationship way, it shouldn't affect her liking you as a friend. Some of the girls I "liked" that were my friends, still liked me as a friend even after I told them how much I "liked" them.

>>179 I'm with >>180 honesty is the best virtue, and if she's really your friend she'll appreciate your honesty, hell, she might actually like you too just doesn't want you to feel awkward cuz of rumors. But that's speculation, anyways, just find a way to come clean to her when you can. Just tell her your feelings and see if she feels the same. Also, don't let rumors get to either f you, these people don't know who you guys are, and thusly you should just ignore them and just do your thing :) anyways best of luck, hope it goes well for you.

>>179 I totally agree with >>180 and >>181. :)

Okay, I see a lot of people commenting on this thread, and even though I was never the kind of sympathetic or supportive person in real life (I'm so used to being viewed as distant and cold) and I'm a heterosexual female, I feel the need to say something to all of these people who are feeling scared and lonely just because of their sexuality.

You don't need to be frightened of what's going to happen to you. You shouldn't be forced to hold it in and not know what it's like to have people accept you and love you for who you are. I know that some of you may look at this and think that I don't know what I'm saying because I'm not homosexual, or pansexual, or asexual, or whatever you rightfully choose to be, and I'm telling you that I'm not upset by that. I honestly don't know what that feels like. However, I do have plenty of friends and companions that are. As a person who nobody ever wanted to become truly close to, I don't want to see them suffer. And you shouldn't either. (So shut the hell up, GHF or anyone like GHF. You are perfectly allowed to have your own opinion, so long as you don't force it upon others or shoot down their opinions. Even if no one like that comments here anymore, let's just be happy to not be ignorant bastards.) All that I am saying is that no matter what you feel inside, no matter who you are, no matter what you've done, there will be people who love you for who you are. You just haven't gotten there yet. If you're searching for true love and you haven't found it, then don't give up. People like that, people like me sometimes don't get what they want, and all you can do is just keep hoping. It's the cold truth of reality, but you need to know that reality won't give up on you if you don't give up on it. Just know now that if you are scared, depressed, angry, or think you're alone in life, people love you. Even if they're like me and just never say it, there are. There are people that admire you and your bravery and courage. The people who don't and can't accept it are the true cowards, just remember that. Because you see...

Life isn't so bad.

>>180 >>181 >>182 and >>183
Thank you so much for your kind words. They were really the confidence boost I needed. I thought a lot about my current relationship with my friend, and I think we're close enough that she'll continue to be my friend no matter what my feelings for her are. So I've decided that when school starts, I'll ask her to the dance. I've already been bugging her to go with me, since none of my friends really want to go at all, so maybe that will be the perfect opportunity to just be honest with myself. Again, thanks for helping me realize that I don't need to be scared. :)

>>184 Anytime, that's what i'm here for. ^^

>>184>>185 me too :) don't hesitate to call on us again if you need us :)

>>184 Yes, and please tell us how it goes! :D The best of luck to you!

>>186 >>187 so I wonder how things went w/ Muffin & her friend. I am most curious.^^

>>188 just have to be patient. Here's to hoping it goes well them.

>>188 >>189 Well I haven't had the chance to talk to her yet, but I should be seeing her this weekend. I might bring something up then, but if I don't, I definitely will be asking her to the dance, which won't be until school starts. Thanks for your concern. I'll keep you guys updated. :)

>>190 Okie dokie!^^

>>190 alright awsome :) good luck

>>190 *has fingers crossed* :)

bump

Bump.

Everyone , there are so many different stories here! I am really happy that I got to read of these things that have happened to you=) I myself am openly lesbian,my friends have no problems with it and I`m really happy about that. But my family has no idea, only my mum knows and has not yet come to terms with it. Well I am only 15 but I had to start coming out because from the age of 12 I`ve known that there`s something different with the way I think. But that part is not my problem, I`m absolutely content with all that stuff. But I really need help on this one: my ex(my first and only relationship) has recently started acting very friendly with me (I suppose you get my point here?) but I`m too afraid to ask her about her sudden change of attitude so I guess I came here to gather some courage.Also, I really don`t know what I should say, I mean isn`t just bluntly saying "Hey woman! Soo... now you like me again?" a little stupid? Yeah, I tought so too. Sorry for grammar mistakes, try to understand please .Should I be posting this to some other section? I really don`t know where...

Im a girl who is bisexual. The first time I noticed that I liked both guys and girls was when I started to do gymnastics I would watch certain girls in the class and my stare would linger at these girls. I didn't think much of it at first but when I saw them with other people or would hear them talk about there dates I would feel really down. I would feel like my heart was hurting.

Technically Only my fiancee' knows I'm Bisexual, and that's just because I tell her everything,
firstly i saw Anonymous post earlier and i saw this > West Virginia, the least-tolerant place in America < in particular,okay let me just say I live in Oklahoma, and my uncle is a 7 foot tall texan, there's a few rerasons i haven't told anyone besides my future wife, one , where I'm from in Oklahoma, you either get accepted , or shunned, two My uncle is from Texas, and is a fan of the saying "only two things come from ___, steers and queers. and you ain't got horns " and I don't want to upset my uncle, third, my Landlord Is a pastor, and he's one of those that lives pretty much quoting the bible every third sentence,uyeah the overall reason is I'm afriad, I did try to tell my mother a few years back , she kept telling me i was "exploring my sexuality" and it was "just a phase " "you'll grow out of it" so I just dropped it eventually, she said this for 3 years, i gave up trying to convince my mother, tried to convince myself i wasn't bi for a while too. That lasted until i met my Fiancee', she Opened up the parts of me i had tried to close off, and now I'm writing this to officially let everyone here know

I always wanted to be a pro wrestling manager, you know the guy in the suit that comes to the ring with the wrestler, the mouthpiece , wrestling companies use them to give guys with less than decent mic skills , or newer or just guys that need a new angle, a push .iserted is one of my favorite managers (Jimmy Hart) And Bret Hart , during the Hart foundation, Being able to watch these guys in the ring from right outside the ropes has been a dream of mine, and I believe it's parrtially due to the tights and the muscular bodies

oh i forget every time I'm a 22 year old man , and recently engaged

JUST TO BE CLEAR i wasn't stating that my emtire reason for going into pro wrestling was because i was bi, i actually enjoy the athleticism and the coriogrophy that goes into it, as well as the acting and the preforming, I also did not Mean all pro wrestler/wrestling managers are i simply meant the tights and muscles are a plus

Bumpy for declutter~

I'm bi, I'm out to everyone except my family if I plan on bringing a girl home I'll tell them but for now I don't feel they need to know. But since I'm mostly only physically attracted to women and not emotionally me bringing a girl home is unlikely. But I also have a problem that I'm rarely both emotionally and physically attracted to guys. With guys I will want to be with them romantically but sex most of the time never crosses my mind until they bring it up.

Bump

both sexes are essentially the same. what dose it matter weather you a boy or a girl? it's character that matters. anyway i'm a girl (name is lily) and i never really fit in with girls,i preferred legos over barbies,soccer over house,pants over dresses. now i realized that i have feelings for a girl that i've been friends with since first grade,what's more. i've realized i've never really ever had really romamtic thought about a gut but i keep imamgining that me and my frind are a couple. i think i might be bi or a lesbian. not sure.

Bump

I'm a girl, which most people online don't know, but I am. I've known I liked girls pretty much forever and didn't give it much thought. My parents read my diary when I was 13 and so that was that, but aside from a bit of yelling and uncomfortable questions, it was alright. They didn't really believe me, but they didn't do anything terrible either.

I'm pretty much solidly a lesbian, which most people don't believe because I'm petite and have long hair and wear skirts and bows and paint my nails pink, but hey, that's what I am. I've just never been emotionally, sexually, or romantically attracted to boys anywhere near as much as girls.

well, i am a bisexual girl, maybe even a lesbian. I realized it when i had feelings for a good friend of mine. But she is straight, so i had no chance.
But i am too sfraid to tell anyone except my best friend. My family are from russia, and i heared many bad things that happens to homosexual people in russia. I know that my mother wouldn't accept it. Always we talk about my future, she tells me i have to marry a man, and have a happy life and get children. But i realldy don't know if that will happen. I only want to have children with the person i love, and if the person i love is a girl... i cant have children on my own.
I even think that being in a relationship with a girl is more possible that with a boy. I don't really know why... i never thought much about a boyfriend. Boys are for me just... just friends.
well... I am afraid that my family would think that being homo- or bisexual is like an illness. So.. for my family i am still straight, but i know on my own i am not.
i often think how i could tell it to my mom, without shocking her. ...

devilskitten , i have basically the same issue as you, but i feel like you should hint to your friend that you like her. it would be less awkward that if you told her staight out ( no pun intended) and much less likely to distroy your friendship. just say something like "if you where a boy i would date you" that might give her an idea of how you feel about her. now your parents sound like they may have a hard time accepting this but they might be willing to accept if you expalin that you might5 be bi or gay choose your words very carefully

devilskitten , i have basically the same issue as you, but i feel like you should hint to your friend that you like her. it would be less awkward that if you told her staight out ( no pun intended) and much less likely to distroy your friendship. just say something like "if you where a boy i would date you" that might give her an idea of how you feel about her. now your parents sound like they may have a hard time accepting this but they might be willing to accept if you expalin that you might5 be bi or gay choose your words very carefully

I came out as pansexual to my mom a year and a half ago. She took it well enough, but my heart definitely goes out to those whose parents aren't as understanding. >>210, I wish you the best in working up to coming out to your family.

Found out I was demisexual recently. Wish I'd have known what that meant sooner, it'd have saved me a shit ton of turmoil and adversity

The fuck is demisexual.

>>215 if you were truly curious, you'd look it up, friend

>>215 Eh, apparently it means a person who can't be sexually attracted to someone without being emotionally attached to them first.

I don't really get why you'd have to "come out" as one, though. Seems a bit ridiculous to me.

If someone truly wanted to know, then they would prefer asking someone who actually identifies as demisexual, than go through hundreds of false definitions.
Unless you don't know either.

>>217...Are you serious?
Do we even need a category for that?

I live in an area that's die-hard hetrosexual and extremely LGBTI-phobic, so unless you're willing to bed any given woman at any given moment, you're considered abnormal and therefore not hetrosexual. In other words, stating you're not interested in spending the entirety of your monthly paycheck on condoms and pleasurable company, is pretty much considered 'coming out.' Hence why I put it here.

>>220 Ohhhh... That's tough.

Wait wait wait. I'm sorry, I just realized you're male. A male demisexual is a rarity. How many women would be all over you if you told them this...

I'm a neutrois pansexual. It's not like I'm in a closet, but I'd rather not announce it everytime I meet someone.

You guys are making this stuff up now

>>223 Hey man, I actually had to look up the correct and precise term for what I am.

i'm bisexual, though i lean more heavily towards men. i'm still in the closet, though i've been thinking about coming out. also, magnolia: just because you haven't heard of it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. there is no harm in people creating new terms for new things. i think it's kind of nice. for someone who's confused and trying to find out what they are, it would be comforting to know there's a term for people like you.

i almost died when i read the title

^

This may seem a bit weird, but is anyone here asexual? I mean, I enjoy company I do. I'd even had/could have sex. But it feels like you're just doing this out of obligation and there's something more productive that you'd rather do. I try to balance my time scale perfectly between sports/athletics, study, faith among others. The perfect definition of what you might call fastidious. Or maybe is it just a phase.

I think i may be. Asexual I mean. Or a sociopath, I feel nothing during sex. And have no desire to be with another person. They all tire me out.

(TL;DR at bottom)
There are sexual and romantic orientations.
Asexual: the act of sex is unappealing, scary, etc., but you still may enjoy a romantic relationship. All the emotions, none (or few) of the physical things
Aromantic: the opposite of asexual (unless you're ace and aro). Aros may find sex fun, but do not enjoy romantic relationships. These people can and do still cultivate meaningful friendships and platonic relationships.

A note on sociopaths:
A) Please do not self-diagnose, as it can be harmful to yourself emotionally and disrespectful to people with actual illnesses; You may be right, Mr_shanks, I don't know you personally, but as the daughter of a therapist I know many call something a mental illness without actually knowing what that mental illness is or does.
B)Sociopaths are entirely self-centered, manipulative, and completely devoid of emotion. They lack both empathy and sympathy; they can neither imagine another's feelings nor feel pity for another. Being a sociopath would affect a whole lot more than just your romantic attachments. Sociopaths are often quite charismatic, leading them to be somewhat popular, but they cannot keep up the mask, so they often drift from place to place or lose their "friends" (if you know a sociopath, by the way, don't feel obligated to stay their friend once they show themselves to be an apathetic asshole; they don't need your pity nor your company, and they really only see others as tools for their own gain).
C) "They all tire me out." Sounds more like your an aromantic or introvert, not a sociopath. Perhaps (this is really stretching it and should not be considered a diagnosis by any means, I'm merely offering other explanations) it is Schizoid personality disorder (entirely different from schizophrenia), which is something like an extreme case of introversion. It's noted by loneliness, lack of skill/desire to form relationships, and outward apathy. it's not as disfunctional or manipulative as sociopath personality disorders.
D) I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume you didn't really look into the symptoms of being a sociopath nor actually want a diagnosis, but if I'm wrong, just go see a therapist. One meeting for a diagnosis/to see if it would help (therapists are great all around, not just for mental breakdowns) could make a difference, and if you're under 18 you can see a counselor up to 3 times without parent permission (depending on the length and severity of sessions).

Also, there's always the prefix demi-. Demisexuality is when you can enjoy sex, but can also live happily without it.
Either way, VampirePotato, it's up to you. It's possible it's just a phase; maybe you're just not at the right point in your life, or maybe you just haven't met someone who made it worth your while.

TL;DR
1. Aromantics prefer platonic relationships but enjoy sex, asexuals prefer no sex but enjoy romantic relationships
2. Demisexuals can enjoy but don't necessarily need or want sex
3. Don't self-diagnose, even if you are a licensed professional
4. Sociopaths are a lot more than simple apathy
5. Whatever happens happens; your life will unfold however it so chooses and you will eventually find yourself.

.

..

ALRIGHT PEEPS IM COMING OUT.

I'm an asexual panromantic

Its so easy to tell strangers xD

this is a good thread.

>>233 panromantic...

Pansexuals are capable of being sexually attracted to people of all genders and sexualities, I believe.

So, a panromantic is the same, except romantic attachments instead of sexual desire.

>>235 Rigt?

This is the gayest thread on this site. nicememe.me!

>>237 What is a mememe?

>>238 It's a meme you dip

P.S : I'm not really calling you a dip i just refer to this vid https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5RLwgDCsm4

>>238 Just congratulating myself on another great meme. Nice meme me!

.

Umm.. Hi, I'm 多くの 顔 and I'm pansexual. I always felt weird in a sense. In elementary school I realised that every so often a girl would make my heart skip just as much as a guy. At first I was like, "wow, am I a slut ir something?" But not quite like that since I never knew the word in the begining. So when I learned about bisexuality I thought that, "Oh, I'm bi!" But then I learned about pansexuality and I relised that I identify myself more as a pansexual person

I don't have a big story to tell, unlike some here. I do know that I am NB-F genderfluid, and am a homoromantic asexual. I say homoromantic because I sometimes fall into a binary gender, and it's pretty hard to place a simple term for romantic attraction when one is NB.

So a couple of years ago, there was this kid on the internet reading this one post on some website. The kid’s reactions to the post ranged the gamut. “Holyshit you can actually do that” “Yes yes yes this person gets it.” “So. Jealous. To start freeing yourself of all that must be wonderful.” So the post kicked off a bunch of things in the kid’s life. The kid had never really heard of transgender people before, but with that post, there was finally a name for the issues and a way to deal with them.

For once, his life moved forward. Lots of things were harder, but overall life had gotten better than ever before. He’s less than patient waiting for his medical transition, sure, but socially and personally, he’s content in a way that he never was.

In the present day, I’ve returned to these roots offering water and fertilizer. I needed your message, MKOLLER, and it reached me. I hope others get to hear it too. Thank you.

i never went through the whole thread.
its too long >.<
(am i the only straight girl-who-is-cool-being-a-girl here?)
so, one question: (please dont hate on me im only 12) what's the difference between pans and bis?

>>246 We can't hate on you for asking questions, no one's born knowing everything. Don't sweat it, at 12 I thought there were only gay and straight people.

Bisexual means that you're sexually attracted to two genders (this could include your own gender and another one, or two genders that you don't identify with). Pansexual means that you're attracted to all genders. This includes people who are agender (gender-neutral, or lacking a gender), people who identify as transmale/transfemale, intersex, genderfluid, and well– there are too many genders to name them all right now.

Hope I helped here <3

Sooooo... I'm a male-born genderfluid sapiosexual and attracted to males, but am demisexual exclusively to females. Ergo the reasoning why I only am attracted to one female...

Genderfluid: Gender fluid is a gender identity which refers to a gender which varies over time. A gender fluid person may at any time identify as male, female, neutrois, or any other non-binary identity, or some combination of identities to as simple as both female and male. Their gender identity can vary at random or in response to different circumstances. Gender fluid people may also identify as multigender, non-binary and/or transgender.
Sapiosexual: A person sexually attracted to intelligence or the human mind
Demisexual: Attracted or sexually attracted to people only after a strong emotional bond has been formed

So restate:

Genderfluid male with a sapio-pansexual attraction with a preference to males (either born or FTM) and a demisexual attraction to females... Whoo that took a bit to think about

>>250 I was like "DAFUQ DOES THAT MEAN".... then I kept reading, nice job explaining.

>>250 Sorry to say, but sapiosexuality isn't a real sexually. Ignoring Tumblr's shut about it being ableist (which I don't really think it is), when it really comes down to it, it's a preference, not a sexuality. Similar to how I would say I like creativity in a person, it's only a preference.
(Sorry if it seems rude, but I'm sick of people trying to pass sapiosexuality as an actual sexuality.)

>>253 Damn autocorrect. *sexuality and *shit

gay
*shrugs*
it wasn't really something i consciously thought about much until it came up, and my best friend gradually became my girlfriend
and i thought, yeah, ok, i'm gay

well, i'd thought about it before; back in middle school i was at a really religious school and had those "ohmygodwhatifimgay" moments, but these days it doesn't cause me much trouble
i'm open, i suppose *looks at rainbow shirt i'm currently wearing*
but it's not like, a big deal to me anymore; i wouldn't tell anyone unless the subject of my girlfriend came up

>>253 I see it as one. I do not just prefer it; I am sexually attracted to intelligence

>>255 Classic "Cleo and Juliet" love story XD Sorry just came to me

(Bump)

I don't care about gender there equal to me love is love

I mean, I know I already came out on this thread but I'm doing it again OuO (because it is suprisingly fun and reassuring)
I'm a pansexual motherfucker and I may also be agender >:D

>>258 oh like beastality

@Lunam

That's exactly what I am.(High five)

>>261 Whoo! :D *high fives then gives you a cookie with pink blue and yellow chocolate chips*

>>260 Animals are animals. Gender is a dick and a vagina and somewhere in between. I would insult you like you are some arrogant ignoramus, but your username screams "I'M A TROLL SEEKING ATTENTION AND FLAME WARS"