It's summer now and it's supposed to be a time of fun for me, but I've been feeling guilty lately. This year (as in the grade before the summer) there was a boy in my homeroom who is a high functioning autist (he's incredibly bright and stuff, but socially awkward), so there was a group also in my homeroom, they were popular memetards and such and constantly pestered people by using inaccurate memes. They bullied the autistic boy who I'll call M (and the group P).

Anyway, M had a love for pop culture like Disney (specifically the princesses), Spongebob, and singing. Sometimes he would randomly start singing in classes or draw characters on the homeroom whiteboard during the dismissal period. He's been at my school for a long time and over the years he's gotten more rambunctious to try and fit in with the more popular groups at my school, so he had a couple of emotional fits this year and this along with what he liked attracted the attention of P. P eventually started teasing him and doing things like saying things that made M tick and even went to the point of pushing him around (in front of homeroom teacher too.) and insulting him by calling him things like gay, retard, etc. Eventually I ended up trying to defend M because it was getting out of hand and the staff wasn't doing shit about this. The P group only shook off my warnings and continued messing around with M, and even going to the point of coming up to me and starting to insult me.

Fast forward to the end of the last day of school. M wasn't doing anything as we didn't have any work to really finish or anything, so I was just hanging out and talking to him when all of the sudden, the entire P group gets up from their conversation (probably about memes or swag. >:I) and goes over to us. They start the usual insults and suddenly start making false accusations about me and M. The bullying gets boring for them so they leave and I have to console M and make sure he doesn't have a full out breakdown. That's the end of the school day.

Since the year is over and I'll be put into a different team I'm feeling guilty I didn't do anything to help M majorly, even though the school system wouldn't have done anything (they aren't good with bullying and stuff) and beating up P-group probably would have gotten me kicked out of my house or something, and I'm worried M will be bullied again next year and I won't be able to do anything about it. Is there anything I might be able to do to tone down my guilt or prevent anything from happening to M during the next year? Sorry if this seems more like a story or a rant but I just wanted to fill at least one person in on the situation and seek advice. Also, sorry if this doesn't make sense. It's one am right now.

If I may suggest something:

Talk to the staff that decides who gets put where. Explain to them what is happening, and then ask if you might be able to be placed in the same class to be there to support him. He never has to know it was done on purpose, and you can continue being there when he needs you. It's always good to have a friend that you can count on when shit goes to hell, especially for somebody who already has a hard time with those situations.

I'm really impressed with how well you handle this. You should ask around and see if there is a LYNX program at your school, or nearby. Basically the program is one where students without disabilities or social issues can be paired with one or many students WITH disabilities, and help them wherever needed while learning about how to help disabled people cope and function in society.

I have a fellow stagehand that went through one of these programs, loved it, and is now pursuing it in college in order to help more children in the future. It's a wonderful thing, I think you should look into it if you have any interest in such things, though it is not the first choice for everybody.

>>2 I suppose I'll try to get in touch with the staff, but as far as I know, there isn't a LYNX program here. I don't remember too well but there was a buddy system project that someone proposed to prevent bullying, but I don't know if the PTO system has deemed it a good idea or not.

>>3 In either scenario, I know of a few similar cases that happened with students that graduated from the same school as me:

1) The LYNX programs and similar organizations. Seriously, ask around.

2) There was a pair of students that graduated together a few years ago, and they had EVERY class together. Why? Because one of them had a form of Psychosis alongside Epilepsy. The non-epileptic met them at a young age, and learned how to handle situations in which the person began having an episode/seizure. This is a more serious case than you and your friend, but it still goes to show that it is a VERY good thing to have a person nearby that knows how to handle the person with troubles "up top." It saves people from a lot of unnecessary stress, and is very helpful to the person receiving aide.

Okay, I'll definitely ask the staff about pairing up classes then. Thanks.

@Reilyx: The stress support is good and all, but how do you think our friend here should go about the bullies? I highly doubt they'd stop even with a friend backing M. Or are you implying that with Soul as a moral support, M might be able to put those bullies behind him?

>>6 With good friends you can get through most anything. If he were just left to himself to be bullied, and had nobody there for him when it happened, it would be extremely painful. It's much easier to cope when you have somebody that will stand by your side through whatever crock of shit people try to throw at you. You're not alone, and that much can be enough!

I agree with reilyx.

>>7 Well said.

You don't have to feel guilty about anything; it's not fair to burden yourself with other peoples problems. But if you so wish to protect this kid and make a sacrifice of your own happiness; to share his pain with him then by all means go for it. Become his friend be there for him laugh with him and you and him will find away around it. An individual human is already strong enough to take on the world; but when you work together you can make the impossible possible. Do what you feel is right because it is right.

Just being there for someone like that is enough to make their lives infinitely more bearable. I know because I made friends with a girl in a similar situation near the end of this past year. She was a year ahead of me so we never had any classes together but we met in the library and found out we had an interest in many of the same books. She'd never really had a friend her age before in high-school because most kids just thought of her as a retard or a weirdo, but she was so much more than that. I've talked to her a few times on the phone since she graduated at the end of the year and I can always tell that talking to me makes her day better. My only regret is that I didn't meet her sooner.

Seriously, just try to be around him as much as possible and show him the good side of humanity. Let him know he can be friends with "normal" people and can ignore the popular crowd. Talk to the staff in charge of his group next year and tell them what you've noticed. Try to organize some sort of awareness day for bullying. But don't try to bare the weight of this on your shoulders. This kid is not your responsibility. Him being bullied is not your fault by any stretch of imagination.

Usually I don't have much advice for stories on the personal board, but this one I can seriously relate to. I have had several friends with different forms of autism that have been bullied by the 'popular' kids in class. A couple of them are considered annoying because they have poor social skills, but I just treat them like I would any person. When I see someone bullying them I tell the kid to get a life and talk the one being bullied through the situation. How you've been handling this so far is actually really good. I say try to find some way to either help this kid stand up for himself on his own or with him or maybe if you have a friend that's in some of his classes you can ask them to help him out if he gets bullied. It's definitely not your fault, just keep being a good friend.

Oh, you definitely have nothing to feel guilty about. A few years back at one of my schools, a group of kids beat two of the Special Ed. students to the ground. It was awful and we all just...stood there. At least you're trying. The best thing you can do for him is be a good friend, and judging from your post that's exactly what you're doing. Feel better, dear.

OP, you're a good person.

>>12 Also this.

You really are a sweet,kind, and generous person.And dont feel bad.you ARE helping.you're being a friend.And thats the most important part.

You don't need to be worried and guilty you helped the poor guy and defended him if those bullies comeback to you stand up to them and show how awesome the y are and how SUCKISH they are! Plus, why would you be guilty you helped a person who needs help.

And that's a good thing