More of a rant, but, I feel weird to the world, to myself, and everyone who sees me. I'm socially akward, a social misfit I've been called, and I'm use to being alone. Sometimes I find myself wanting a friend, but no ones like me, no one understands, or acknowleges me in a way that makes me feel like not so strange. I know its young to say "no one understands me. Stomp stomp stomp,door slam. " Btw, I'm not that guy. Idk, I just want like a friend who's equally tormented so we can help eachother, or balance eachother out. Maybe not tormented, thats really dramtic, so troubled, or different. Sometimes, a lot of the time, I just wana disappear. Not like suicide, but to just be gone, or a ghost so there would be a reason I feel the way I do. If anyone even reads this Id be happy. Pretty sad, I know.

It is sad, but if you wait a bit, it won't be. When I was younger I had a few rather tramatizing things happen to me, which forced to me to mature much quicker. When I was 12 I was mistaken for a 21 year old, not just by the way I looked, but also for the way I acted and talked. I never really had a childhood, as I went from 10 to 20 in a year. This left me awkward, and out of place; I didn't get why the people around me couldn't understand the things I could. While my achedemics were on par with my age's averge, it was my maturity and ability to understand the world and peoples' inner feelings that set me apart. But because of this, like you, I grew up alone. Akward and extremely antisocial, even though I longed for a friend, I couldn't stand being in the same room as someone who didn't match my thought process. As for disappearing, I can't tell you how much it applies to me; I've even had fantasies about getting kidnapped, just to be able to escape my situation. I've always wanted to disappear, it would be nice, to just fade away from everything, push all the stress out of my life. Bu that's not going to happen. It never will.
I guess I just told you my story to say you're not alone. I've had the exact same feelings as you. I also wrote this to tell you that it gets better. As you get older, you will meet new people, no matter how socially awkward you are. And as you meet new people, you will gain friends with your same problems, people you can connect to. Just hang in there, study hard and build a better life for your future. Trust me, things will work out.

Greetings, and I must agree with Rin. You will find that you are never alone. I grew up with a strict family who beat it into my head that education was most important. I wasn't allowed to leave my room unless I had finished remedial work from a tutor my mother had hired as a child and I seldom interacted with children after I started attending public school at age 7 (my family said that friends were distractions from work). Growing up I was all by myself and a complete,socially awkward child. I kept thinking no one would care if I had disappeared completely. I was a wallflower that no one had cared to talk to.. until I found my best friend in the seventh grade - when a girl from my class, who drew pictures like me, stood up in the middle of our cafeteria and screamed back at the girl who was bullying me. We've been long lasting friends ever since. She even managed to free me from my family's strict hand. She too is also like me - we both have some serious problems, interests, and a similar mindset.

I feel just about out of place as anyone if I'm stuck with someone who shares little in common with me. At the start of my freshman year of high school I turned to the internet in search of people who were like me. This was a suggestion from my best friend as she knew I wasn't the type to find friends easily in real life, and I still hadn't any friends but her by the time I was in high school. I found and connected with many, many people. They helped me realize that I am never alone and I will always be friends with them. I'm sure many people here, in the Dollars are like that as well. People you yourself can connect. As the Dollars' saying goes: "The world isn't as bad as you think." Give it time and you'll find out.

- And if you need to talk to someone or a friend, Palladion will be happy to be of assistance to you at anytime.

Thank you. Freakin cant wait for the better part.

Don't worry it'll come, and you are very welcome. ^^

I understand, and thank you, but once I get off here, and even if I'm on herec I'm by myself. I cant wait to have a friend, like that one real friend that understands.

If you'd like, I'd gladly be your friend. It's nicer when someone has company.

Id love that, but on a bbs how can it work?

Do you happen to have a skype?

I dont, I'm not really on the internet other than this, or for music. I have an Email adress if thats ok?

I forgot to say that the link is for you, I'm sorry.

Ok, I got it.

^^ You may email me at any time now.

Cool, thank you. So, I'm on my phone, and it sucks so when I get to a computer I will definatly email you.

You are lucky, to be able to access the board from your phone. I tried with my android, but it refreshed the page everytime I entered the password and hit the login button. I will, however, look forward to your emails. ^^

K