Hello everyone.

To be honest. I'm a bit confused at the moment and I'd like to hear your oppinions about it.

You see. Some time ago I did something horrible. Something utterly horrible. I betrayed my friends. I betrayed them so that it was possible that they were put in ALOT of trouble without even doing something wrong. And the worst part is, I did not really have a reason to do it.

Now it's been a while since then and the friends in question are still with me and I really don't understand why since I do not deserv their forgivness.

And lately I've started to see all the things I have. I am so lucky! I have friends (other than the beforemetioned) that cares for me! Caring parents! School! A home! Yet I don't know if I deserv all the things I have. I love my friends because they are them! And I don't understand what I've done to deserv them! I'm not good! And deffenitely not good enought for all the things I have!

....I'm not quite sure why I wrote this. I just suppose I would like to have your veiw on the situation. About my friends. They're what's important right now.

Well, you see, to be honest, your don't deserve them. Never forget that.

Honestly, it seems to me like your mindset is in the right place. Hell, I feel the same way about all of my friends, both near and far. I've done nothing in my life to deserve them, they're like family, and I would gladly step into harm's way for them.

From my perspective, you're in the green, my friend. And if you want to feel a little more deserving, make it up to them by being a good friend in return.

>Not sure if new Kaze, or KazePhantom decided to shorten his name...

It's what friends do. However you guys became friends in the first place, the bonds you made with each other were strong enough to last through a betrayal. That's more than a lot of people can say.

It's possible that the betrayal wasn't as big a deal to them as it was to you.

You're probably a better person than you give yourself credit for if they've decided to remain friends with you after whatever you did.

...Ahahaha~ I just went through this with one of my friends, actually.
...You see, she treats me like shit. And she's recently decided to apologize for it, asking me to forgive her...But I told her it isn't necessary, as I don't consider her having done anything wrong. Moral being...as Umbra Serpens has pointed out...they may not consider it to be such a problem.

Also, there are lots of people in the world who have things they don't actually deserve. Simply take and appreciate what you're given...because you have it for a reason. Maybe the reason you have everything you do is for precisely this. So you feel as though you don't deserve it and become a better person because of it.

...I'm sure your karma for whatever betrayal you've committed will come back on you at some point, if you really feel so guilty...:D

>>2 Thank you Feral. By some reason I'm actually very happy to hear that. And I will and am trying to make it up to them.

>>3 I'm a new Kaze. Thank you pointing out the bond. Really. Thanks.

>>4 Thank you. I will/am appreciating it (don't know if it's enough though) and I will remember to do so.
I really hope I do get to make it up to them, or pay for what I've done in some way.

Thank you all for taking the time to read this and answer.

Kaze, you are indeed a good person if you truely feel that way. A truely awful human being would've taken all the things you've listed for granted without even a second thought, nor even realize it in the first place. But you have, and that proves that you have already passesd the milestone to purity; realizing your impurity.
I have no clue what you've done specifically to betray your friends. But what I CAN get a clue about is those friends that are staying by your side might actually be truely loyal to you. You should never take that for granted. They realize that you've done wrong, but see that you can amend all of that and start anew. Do NOT waste that opportunity.
God bless your kind soul, young one. I'm sure you will become a fine huamn, a pinnacle of goodness in your city, in this chaotic world.

>>6 Thank you. I will think and not take for granted for the friends I have are truly what is most important. I will try and make it up to them and thank them. Thank you for taking your time to read this.