Okay, so I am at the edge of a major breakdown here, and I really could use some advice to get me through this. I'm desperate guys. So, my boyfriend and my friend have been getting to be really good friends. Which is great, because I really wanted her approval with my relationship, I've looked up to this girl since the day i met her. I have no problem with them being close friends, my boyfriend is shy, I'm glad he's making more friends. But... My mother isn't so thrilled. She says to "watch my back, you don't know what she's planning." This hurts because I trust both of them completely, they have no interest in each other, and well... It's starting to get me to the point of tears. She always brings it up whenever we're alone, and says "Guys are guys. Don't let them hurt you." I made it clear when I started this relationship that if I felt he was mistreating me in any way, I would leave him in a heartbeat and I have friends who i know will support my desicion no matter what. But the problem is, now whenever I see my friend, all I can think of is the terrible things my mom says, and I can't talk to her properly because I feel so ashamed. It's ruining my relationship with both of them because she's making me paranoid. My friend keeps asking me what's wrong too, which makes me feel even worse. I've tried to tell my mom to stop, but she just blows me off. How can I tell her to stop doing this, even if she is trying to help me, without being mean?

Just tell her it's not like you suspect anything, but your mom got under you skin and you need to talk to her about it to get it off your chest. If she's really your friend, she'll understand.

Talk to your friend and your boyfriend about what your mom is saying, make it clear you do not agree with her but also make it clear how it makes you feel. If at all possible get them to talk to your mom about it. Tell your mom she is hurting you and it makes you sad she can't be happy with you. She's probably projecting her experiences onto you or simply doesn't want her "little girl" dating. Moms have issues when their kids start growing up.

Well that's great and all... But I need advice about dealing with my mother. It's at the point where I'm dreading being in the same room as her because this literally all she talks about. As I was lurking the Random section she came and bothered me about this again. So, while telling my friend about it does help a lot actually, it doesn't actually solve the root of the problem. Oh, wait, does this sound mean? I don't want it to sound mean...

Sorry, that was for Crisis.

>>4 Sorry, thought you meat your friend.

Talk to your mom. Tell her you know that he could cheat on you, but it's also possible that you could cheat on your boyfriend, but you're better than that, and he's proven to be better than that as well. Remind her that relationships are built on trust, and without trust, ANY relationship will fail. Tell her he trusts you, so it's only right for you to trust him.

You mum isn't going to stop unless you tell her to stop. some times parents can be overprotective. she doesn't want you to get hurt is all. you just gotta be like "thank you for your concern mum, it makes me happy that you care but i got this" or something like that ^_^ i hope i helped.

Your mom sounds like she still lives in high school. She's just trying to drop drama bombs.

Either that or she is the mom from Carrie.

Tell her that she's being silly. Then tell yourself that she is being silly.

>>6 That is a great argument.

The only thing I can say is: tell your mum that you two need to talk and sit down with her and tell her what you feel because of what she's doing. Parents don't usually mean it but they can really hurt their kids, but you need to tell her in order for her to be able to change. Tell her who you feel, what it does and that you want her to stop.

I really hope everything goes well. You have my consern.

At the end of the day the problem is less your mother's and more your own. Make peace with yourself, your relationship with your friend and your boyfriend, and no matter what your mother says you won't be paranoid.