As stated in the title, I no longer wish to continue living any further. Too painful to try and continue on with what has become an existential hell that is my life.
My parents just constantly fight and argue with my eleven year old sister over everything. My sister feels that she is some sort of little princess pop-star and that gives her the right to speak and dress in any way that she pleases and the she is exempt from any sort of work or responsibility due to having been spoiled by relatives and by her moron friends (I actually gave them a chance, but they just stole a chunk of what faith I had in humanity when they told me that they thought the Beatles ripped off that asstastrophe of a music group known as LMFAO). My parents feel that the only way to discipline her or get anything done for that matter by shriekIng and screaming at the top of their lungs and complaining for hours straight. When they aren't doing that, they bound me excessively about my education. When I try to ask them to take it easy, they resort to yelling, or guilting me by telling me that I'm going to be a failure, while I have a 3.8 GPA mind you, or by comparing me to other kids who have absolutely straight A+ grades and making me feel like garbage.

At school, I feel as if I'm one of the only intelligent individuals there. While I have surrounded myself by people who have an IQ over 8 and enjoy Anime and Manga such as myself, I can't help but feel misery in the sense that I'm watching my closest friends sucked into this hopeless race to nowhere that is the exit agin system. People sacrificing their youths, their lives just to please their parents by getting into a good college with the penalty being the future of a garbage collector or prostitute. It's like some sort of slow torture. Meanwhile teachers and just about all other adults are thinking of us all as mindless imbeciles because of the teens who enjoy getting pregnant or ditching school, stereotyping us all into one, negative category. It's misery to think that this is what we are to hem after slaving away in sadness for 16 long years.

There are very few things that make me happy anymore. I do greatly enjoy things like writing (my god given talent), fine literature and foreign rock and classical music as they act as a sort of painkiller, but they only work so much. The true thing that makes me happy is spending time with this certain girl at school (who's name will not be mentioned in case she reads this). While I've lost all other hope in the human race, she's the one, single fragment of hope and happiness I have left in this world (well and the dollars too of course ^_^). I just feel such a great connection between both of us. She's smart, dislikes pop music as much as I do, loves reading and things like the rain as I do , and most importantly she doesn't dress like some teenage hooker. When I'm with her, I feel everything lift away, like I have some sort of meaning to my life. I did want to start a relationship with her, but I had intended on waiting until we got to know each other well enough. My parents took advantage of this to tell me that I had no balls for wanting to wait, even though I only knew her for about eight months or so. In return, I took there words and worked up the courage to defy them by asking her two days after Halloween (The first of November being her birthday as well) whether or not she shared a mutual feeling of love for me in return. She essentially told me that it was too early in a nutshell. I managed to remain friends with her to this very day, but I still just feel empty after she rejected me as if I'm going to be alone forever with the amount of moronic, slutty girls running rampant in my area.

The best part of this was what my parents told me when I told them that their words got me rejected. Wanna guess? They said "Not our fault, we were just joking". I felt a rage that day that I've never felt in all of my pathetic lifetime. Thank god I'm a pacifist (If Simon from DRRR had a young, white version, it'd be me). I've pretty much refused to share with them anything about my school or personal life since then. They didn't even try to apologize. Not even some sort of comforting after possibly losing the girl of my dreams. Come to think of it, I havdn't even received so much as a hug from either of them since then. I havrn't gotten any sign of love from anyone.

The only real positive thing to come out of this is that it gave me the inspiration for my first major work that I am in the process of completing at the moment. Other than that, my life feels pointless. I used to be this happy, care free child when I was younger. I want to feel like that again, but I'm incapable of doing so with the condition that my life is in right now. On top of it all, my parents have taken note of my depressive attitude and I have reason to believe that they will over react and take the drastic measures of checking me into some sort of mental hospital instead of trying to sit down and talk. What I'm planning right now is to finish my story, hopefully opening their eyes to their errors that they made when they realize that I essentially wrote everything they do to me as what happens to the main character in my story, and afterwards I'm going jump off of my balcony or some other height tall enough to kill me (probably when I can watch the sweet, California sunset that I've grown to love one last time). Anything that will just put an end to my suffering.

Now that you've heard my tale feel free to try and talk me out of ending my life. Can be through insults, kindness, anything really. I'm just hollow anyway.

**on this planet anymore.

Why talk you out of it?
I understand every word you stated here and I know what your feeling. Us saying shit on here won't change a thing unless you honestly want to live. But if you are a man of your word, then you've given up on ever being persuaded. I want to save you though. I want to keep everyone I can as happy and living a life they like.
If you can, fellow dollar, try to check yourself along with all the repercussions you will cause...think about what there is out side of your little corner of the earth for once because it seems to me that all you've thought of is yourself throughout this whole thing. What about your girl? Have you ever wondered if things have changed? Have you? I know you must have because I did too. She loves you. Some way or another I'm betting she loves you. Don't take that for granted and hurt her by dieing.
Live not for yourself but for the one person who might give a damn...that's my motto at least.

I'm just one person and in all honesty I don't know how to talj you out of doing something so stupid as taking your life but, what I do know is that you don'have it as bad as you think. You can still find happiness, and meaning but you just need to open your eyes . You still have a family at least, and you have your whole life ahead of you. You have your whole lifetime to find happiness and if you give up now what makes you think your going to find it in the afterlife. Its not that you cant find happiness your.just to lazy.to.go.find your own happiness. Life is hard and its always.going to be hard but you have your whole kife to settle and finf your happiness there is more to life than just friends and school amd grades you just.need to look around. We're all here for you. Don't throw away the.life you have been given

If you really want to die, who am I to stop you? Not that I would. You see, people like you irritate me. You seem incredibly pathetic, I doubt you really want to kill yourself. You're just throwing a little pity party, aren't you? And even if you did want to kill yourself I'd still say you were pathetic. The world isn't always easy, it's not always sunshine but that's the point. If you can't deal with that then I say go ahead and jump. One less person who is too afraid to change the world around them. So, either let the world beat you and prove to me how much of a waste you are, or quit crying and prove me wrong. You're only as miserable as you allow yourself to be. Perception is reality and the universe is more malleable than you think.

I don't know what much of a difference i would make but around a year ago i didn't want to live either. I'm not going to go into detail about what happened to myself but because i'm here alive,sitting here typing this for you, to tell you that difficulties can be overcome . I should know because i've been through it.If i died one year ago i wouldn't have known how happy i am now. There's much more to life . If you died what do your parents,relatives,sister and friends would feel? I know this is cheesy and overused but i'll say it anyways. "You only live once." and what would your death achieve ? If you were to die,the world will move on as if nothing happened.

I had more to say, but to cut it short, I think I speak for all of us when I say

This thread :V

The fact that your posting this in the first place begs the question of if you'd actually do it in the first place. If you really wanted to do it you wouldn't want people to talk about it. Don't get me wrong, its not like I'm pushing you to do it. Universally people are stupid, its just most don't realise it. My advise. Sit it out, thats what I'm doing. Not really holding out for the light at the ned of the tunnel, just believeing that I might find something that makes my life worthwhile, even if it is only for a amoment or two. Until then, drown yourself in the things you do enjoy, for me thats anime, these threads and music. Thats really all we can do. Look at the alternative, blank slate or a slate with slight tinges of grey. Not much to choose between but why not go with the crappy tinges instead of the dull nothingness of death.

>>10 Don't you have to go take care of your pretend baby?

Disclaimer: I will, in no way, try to stop you from killing yourself. It's your decision. If you want to make everyone around you cry, put your family into further chaos, and suffer the pain of hanging yourself/putting a knife to your throat/puking for three hours before finally dying after an overdose, that's fine. It's a personal decision, and I don't think anyone has a right to stop you. However, I think you're an overly sensitive coward who is talking the easy way off the lift before you're even a quarter of the way to the bunny slope itself.

>>1 For now, dude... just chill it. Allow me to say this - your life isn't Hell.

You have loud, obnoxious parents, an annoying sister, a single rejection, and happen to live on the same planet as the rest of us. How does this make your life Hell? You have a roof over your head. You have food. Fuck, you even have friends. What part of this is horrible? You don't have some deadly disease. You're not suffering a slow death from AIDS. You're not living in a tent. You're not being brutally beaten by your parents every time you come home. You're not starving to death slowly. You've never been raped. You were only rejected once, but it wasn't even a total rejection. You were just trying to ask someone out too soon. I mean, com'on. What part of this is worth dying for? I'll be honest - you sound like a spoiled brat with a fine life who has never suffered before a day in that life. Do I regret saying that? Do I feel bad? No, because it's pretty damn true.

Get over it. Toughen your thin little pussy skin. Stop being so overly sensitive about every little thing. This isn't even a hill for you to get over - it's a little tiny rock in the road that you need to step over in order to get out of your imaginary world. If you can't, you'll never survive all the drama that's going to come with reality. Reality is going to take red hot blades and slip them slowly into every part of your body. Then reality is going to take them out and put them in and take them out and chop you into little pieces and feed you to your sister in her breakfast cereal.

How are you going to handle that when you can't even handle stepping on this tiny little pin? Reality is going to tear you into little shreds. I suggest you calm your balls, accept that life isn't perfect, and move on with life.

The world isn't as bad as you think.

To put an example, the beautiful Californian sunset is already something worth living for.

>>13 just for that first line you have lost every shred of respect from me that could have been there

>>14
That's intriguing. You render judgement over me through a sentence, sentence that isn't even addressed to you. Superfluous much?

Regardless, my statement remains true.

Couldn't just say unnecessary? Had to act smart by finding a big word? I was letting you know, doesn't mean you have to agree with it.

>>16 I don't have to and I don't agree with it of course. But, if you're going to try and disregard my opinion, allow me to do the same with yours. What is unnecessary though, are your own statements.

Mine is a factual truth and is there to try and help the OP, yours are simply hatred. And also make you look like a douchebag. Just letting you know. Now stop going off-topic.

>>13 Pulling a line from an anime isn't going to help anyone, especially not on a site where they see it every time they turn the page. Not to mention that the sunset has nothing to do with how bad the world is =o=

>>18 Oh, he's mad because I quoted the anime? I thought he had some sort of point as to why the world isn't as bad as people think it is, that he never cared to explain because he was too busy losing his respect for me.

Nevertheless, I don't think that's entirely true, if it wouldn't help you that's alright. But it may help more than one. Regardless of where the line comes from, it's a truthful one, and it's useful to consider it in times where the world looks bleak to us. You may think it loses it's "charm" so to speak, because it comes from a fictional novel, but in the end it doesn't mean it isn't true.

Consider, is the world as bleak as OP puts it out? You yourself have made a pretty long post as to why exactly not. If anything, mine is just reiterating what you said with less words.

Nevertheless, I apologize in case it bothered you (since you've been kind enough to point it's a line everyone apparently uses, and state your opinion as to why I shouldn't yield it), or the OP for the matter. But I do not apologize for defending myself against unwelcome hostility.

>>19 I'm pretty sure that's all he's bothered by regarding the quote. My problem isn't with the quote, it's with your using of it. If it's someone who has never seen the anime or been on the site, that's fine. But anyone who has been on more than one board of the site has seen the line already used in various circumsances. I just doubt that hearing it repeated and twisted to fit their situation is going to help.

But, as you wish :O It's not really an important conversation, and we're sort of derailing this guy's thread, which is probably annoying no matter how pathetic the thread itself is :V So, [/endconvo]

I understand how you feel..there is one period in everyones life..when they feel like this.But you must think that there are some people who have the right to say that they want to end their lives but they don't.So you don't have to throw away your life just like this!! You don't have to live for anyone but yourself..It's so stupid to say that you don't want to live anymore..What?You think that you have passed so much pain? That's really nothing.!You have to do so much things in your life..It's a pity to throw them away! So forget that crazy idea of yours and be patient..There will be good days for everyone:)
World isn't as cruel as you think:)

...
ANYWAYS, Sama was right.
Now to give some really bad pep talk.
Your life really isnt all that miserable as you let it on to be. So what if your life is filled with arguments, a sister who doesnt know how to not act spoiled, and friends who just use you, it could be worse. Sure we dont have the full story, but im sure its not all that bad, sure as hell isnt bad enough to off yourself. Youre being overdramatic and that in one word is frustrating

Are you still alive >>1?

Barabi, Sleep,

Stop hating on people for the sake of hating on people. It's getting a little out of hand, lately - you both forget your place. The quote in question is legitimate, regardless of its origin. It was not used as a fanboy homage to an anime, but as a real motto - many of us here have adopted the motto for personal usage, and to discredit it due to origin is just as incorrect as glorifying it for the same reason.

I know this is off topic, but I also know nobody gives a damn about this thread anyway.

>>24 I care and more people should whether this guy is serious or not. To even think of taking your own life is very serious. :(

>>24 While I did comment on it being from an anime, that's not my only problem with it. But I already explained that, and I don't feel the need to repeat myself. Not to mention that I'm not "hating" on anyone. I didn't know that sharing my feelings about the use of a quote is now considered a form of hatred :/

Maybe I am taking this too drastically.

>>12 You've made your point. Felt somewhat overboard though, but judging from the amount of comments just telling me that this was a pointless/pathetic post, I don't blame you.
>>23 Yes I'm still alive, just feeling like a total imbecile for having posted this in the first place.


I read the posts and decided to hold off on thinking about this. Saw a counselour, got a recommendation to get therapy.

Apologies for having wasted the time of other individuals in a manner such as this. Next time I'll just save the trouble and try talking to somone else instead of wasting time posting.

Au revoir.

All the statements you have made are good points.
But don't take your life for it.
Ignore your family, you can legally move out in two years if it's really that bad.
If not get into a college and live in a dorm. You have a 3.8 I'm sure that wouldn't be a problem.

Find new friends, just because you share the mutual like of anime and manga doesn't automatically make them amazing. Sadly, The system is the system and all you can do is make sure you don't follow suit as the next person who is striving to make Straight A's to get into a college to please their parents. They are what you call sheep. They don't have a mind of their own. You obviously do, I would hate another good mind to have gone to waste. I'm sure you have your own aspirations that can't be quenched the way regular folk have. Don't let that go to waste, people with their own minds and wishes can make them come true and usually change the way people think. Expand your horizons, you would be surprised who you'd find things in common with, and don't waste your time with meaningless friends. Seek out those who compliment you and who make you happy.
You have to live a bit in your head to survive people and situations, trust me on that.
Think about what makes you happy and engross yourself in it.

>>27 Yeah, I have a tendency to do that. Being harsh either gets you completely ignored, or it gets the message all the way through. Looks like it worked this time ;| I've had friends in the same situation; you just have to understand it's not all that bad. Good luck :O

Really, suicide is pointless. No matter what you believe (or not believe) in.
If you believe in going to heaven/hell, What's the point? You'll just be in the same situation, but with no options-no escape.And that's just if you go to heaven.
If you believe in reincarnation, then guess what?You could be reincarnated into something worse.
If you are Atheist, Then what's the point? You should just learn to enjoy life, since you only get one. Make it worthwhile.
You should just learn that life goes on. It WILL get better.So, suck it up, tell people they can go screw themselves, and remember-you don't need a girl to make you complete.

>>30 Just to say this... being an atheist doesn't mean you don't believe in an afterlife. It just means that you don't believe in God.

>>27 Hey.. just wanted to say, I'm glad you're still alive :)

I don't know what to say... All I can say is that I know you're trying to seek for help because you went all your way into posting this thread. You are unconsciously seeking out for help. I know you're going through a lot of emotional problems, but just look at this way. At least, your not as bad as other families. I almost feel the way you do because my parents are old school and they don't even want to get into my life, but I haven't given up hope just yet. I'll keep bitching as long as I live. I can't stop you from killing yourself. You HAVE to be like the water that creates new paths.

>>33 DAng it! This thread as already been solved... XD

>>31 ಠ_ಠ I am almost 100 percent sure that this is the case.Being atheist means that you do not believe in god.Heaven/Hell was created because people were afraid of simply not existing anymore once they die, so they created a god who in turn supposedly created both a heaven and hell.

>>35 An afterlife doesn't necessarily mean heaven or hell.

P.S.
I am also glad you didn't kill yourself. Step one: Complete

>>35 What Chrome said. And there are also some people who believe in Heaven and/or Hell but not God. They have a different version of it that they believe in, and they don't believe it was made by a higher power. Mainly, though, those who believe in souls believe in some sort of afterlife, whether it be being reincarnated into another body or living as a ghost or going to some paradise, ladidadidoo w/e.

Pointless conversation is pointless :T He's not killing himself anymore.

I know how you feel. my sister always think shes better than me and it always seems like she gets what she wants. I know what i or anyone says can help you or make you feel better. But man the girl you asked out might begin to like you sooner or later if not youll find a girl who does love you. Me im a lesbian my family wont except me so i understand what its like to go out and ask someone you like and then they say id rather be friends or something like that.

Your life isn't the worst one out there, but it's also not sunshine and rainbows. Not gonna lie, if everything you're saying isn't exaggerated then yeah; you got dealt a crap hand in life. A lot of us have, myself included. I'm not gonna try and talk you out of anything. I'm just gonna throw in my two cents here. Sometimes, life sucks. Sometimes it's great. Depends on your outlook. So your sister's a brat, most younger siblings are. Your parents are tough on you. I dunno if just saying you'll be a failure is the right way to go (either they're trying to push you to your best, or they're just pushing your buttons), but your G.P.A. says otherwise. Mindless drones at school? Been there, done that. Long as you're not a victim of bullying or something like that, they aren't your problem. If you are, then it's not what people call you it's what you answer too. The girl you liked rejected you, man be glad you still get to be friends with this girl. That in itself is a blessing in my opinion.

All in all, best of luck friend. All i could ever suggest is do what makes you happy as often as you can. Keep your grades up, get into a good school, get a good job/career, and keep your friends close. There's an upside to going through shit like this, and that's being able to look back and say 'Wow...I got through that crap, I'm what's up.' Good luck, God bless (even if you don't believe in Him. Not here to judge or crap like that, just trying to give you an honest opinion.)

>>40 This thread is concluded :|

Your story sounds much like my own. And there were many times I wished to take my life. I always thought of my friends and family, and I could never leave them to suffer. I'm 20 now but when I was 16 I developed a sever case of social phobia, that made me ill when I went to school and once I was put into a short coma because of it (it only lasted for 4 days). Anyways, I developed it because I was fat as a child, and I was abused both physically and mentally by both students and faculty. When I was a junior in highschool the faculty at my school called a social worker and had me taken from my household and sent to something like juvie for a year. They did this because I only made it to 2 classes a day because of my phobia regaurdless of my 4.0 gpa. Anyways I got out of "juvie" and finished my gpa a few months before my classmates.
After I got done with highschool I had trouble finding work because of my social phobia, and eventually became a shut in. Around a year later I was diagnosed with a sever form of avoidant personality disorder, which is classified as untreatable. I about ended my life right there, I wrote a will and all that jazz. But then something inside of me clicked when I said goodbye to my life. I realized what a pitiful existance I had lived, and I couldn't except that. I had dreams in my life before I gave up hope, I would follow them. I refused to accept that mess I called my life. I moved on, and now I have conquered my untreatable disorder through will power alone. I chased those dreams and I'm nearing my goal. My dream was to write comics/manga. I was 8 when I first decided on it. Now here I am a 20 year old man, Waiting to hear back from the publisher on the details of my comics release. My life has made such a turn around in just a few years. Looking back on my attempt at suicide, I see how foolish I was. My life wasn't that bad, I had a family that cared for me and one friend. If I had killed myself then I would have never truly known what it is to live, and quite frankly I still don't.

I'm sorry for rambling like that it's just you reminded me of myself. And I'd hate to see someone with potential die, especially since I know how hard life is. The key is you have to catch your dream. Just following it isn't enough, I feel that if you reach your dream and accomplish something that means the world to you and still wish to end your life then You earned the right to rest in peace. As for me? After catching my dream and living the life I earned my right to die, but I have no intentions to die anytime soon, besides I still need t find a woman to call my own!

I wish you the best of luck in finding out what it means to live. Its a tough journey, but as long as you live you can do it! Should you disregard this. I truly am sorry.

PS: I'm sorry for this being so poorly written, I have a lot to do so I was kind of rushed. Also everything I said here is true, I'm not just lying to make you feel better.

-Ace

Guys, i'm glad you're all so emphatic about replying, but it's seriously not worth the effort. OP is probably not even around anymore.

And about the atheism thing - it's the disbelief in a higher power. Such a higher power could even be that which decides on if you go to heaven or hell. You can't just pick and choose what parts of a religion you want and call yourself an atheist, that's just dumb.

It's a-theist, not anti-deist. The rejection of any theological concept.

>>43 I've un-derped myself from the last religious conversation. Atheism is just a disbelief in a higher power/greater entity. It doesn't mean a disbelief in any sort of religion. Obviously, there are plenty of atheists who don't believe in any religion, but being an atheist doesn't mean you have no religion. It just means you don't have a system of beliefs that's centered around a higher power. Stupid or not (in your opinion), people have such beliefs.

There are several questions here.

Will you do it?
Can you be talked out of it?
Will you be too scared to do it?
Are you just someone that wants attention?

I understood every word you said. I've felt every emotion explained. I've been compared to perfect children by my family. I've had been unable to sleep because my family's fights could be heard on the other side of the house with the doors closed. I've come to find it hard to trust my family. I don't understand the talking to a girl part, since I am a girl and have never had a crush on anyone, but I've had something similar happen to me. My family give advice. I follow advice. It goes wrong. It's my fault. The fact that it's so relatable tells me that it's true. I have a feeling that there's more to it that what you've said. I've went through the same thing. I though about the same thing.

Do you want to know why I didn't do it? I was too scared. I was scared because I didn't know what would happen to me next. I thought that they wouldn't understand. I still think that they wouldn't understand. I don't remember a time when they have understood me.

I have stopped thinking those thoughts though. Do you want to know what helps me? I find one thing to strive for. One goal to reach. I have one thing pushing me forward. Slowly, that one thing because two, then three. I have a few things that push me forward. It is only a hand full of things, and I don't know what I'll do when I finish them. I do know that it will be a long time before it happens though. I have developed a mind set that these things must happen before I die.

You need to find that one thing. The one thing that'll push you forward. Even if you hate life and everyone around you. Find that one thing that'll keep you moving. From my experience. You can try proving your parents wrong. Prove to them that you will be successful. Prove to them that you will make a name for yourself. It's the easiest way to go and fight through it. You have to prove them wrong. For my sake as well as your own. Why my sake? Because I have parents like that. They think they're helping you, but they're pushing you towards the brink of insanity. I can't stand to see parents act like that. I would hate it even moer if they actually broke their child by doing that.e

>>45 This guy left to go deal with it. He's not killing himself anymore, and he's probably not coming back to BBS for a while :O

Is it just me or did they say that you had to go to college to be a hooker?