My life isn't anywhere close to fucked up when people see me. But to me i'm hopeless. My father died when I was six but I didn't care because i lived with my aunt and uncle all my life.I am 12 and i live in san francisco. My grades, well not so great. I have 3 sisters that love me and amazing friends i cant call best. I am obsessed with fiction like harry potter to shugo chara. im not rich but im not poor. I can be a horrible student as in hurt others. i usually think im all alone and no one cares about me. art is my life. i dont have a crush/bf. i feel whenever i think i do good its actually bad. im a catholic and so is my family. i have all the things that i think please me. but-
i dont get it why am i always sad, depressed, mad at the world. since i told you guys what up in my life does anyone know why i feel so fucked up?

Bear with me for a moment because it may sound like I'm not giving your issue much thought but honestly, it's because you're 12.
For males and females alike the puberty age is not just an age of serious physical development but also of serious mental development.

You're learning to question the world that you live in, and this uncertainty that you're feeling is typically called "teen angst"
It's the same tendency that makes teens act out and rebel, even when they know that they have no legitimate reason to do so.


My recommendation, think more and think less, in that order. By that I mean do the following:
1. Find some time to meditate on your life and everything around it. Don't make things any better or worse than they are, just try your best to be realistic.
2. When you're out and about in the world, try to suppress some of these emotions. I understand that it won't feel right and in the long-term it can be very unhealthy, but part of your mental development is being able to have control over your emotions instead of allowing them to control you.

"The world isn't as bad as you think."
I honestly believe this is how we get so many young, somewhat confused members here. It takes some time to agree with, but you will eventually.

what the first commenter said :)

>>2 Zeck, I love you. <3

So young.....

Zeck...What you said...I could NEVER have put it that well. What this kids goin' through is exactly that!

Secondly, kid, >>1 I...kind of went through the same thing a while back. But, that was when I was 13...And, let me tell you...It gets better. MUCH better. Sure, it hurts now. But just wait, there will come a time when people will recognize you for how amazing and unique you are. No matter what happens, hold on! Stay strong! You may think that you are a complete loser, but trust me...you're not. Thats all I have to say. Thanks for listening.

>>2 This.

>>7 Part of this. Particularly, I was that way at one point as well. It really is just teen-angst, as Zeck put it. For whatever reason, I had an entire year where I was that "nightmare child" that every parent dreaded having. I caused quite the little shitstorm in my angsty year :3

I hope you can take what Zeck said and run with it though, he's spot on.

My life is the same I'm always depressed but it gets better!

The only way I can surpress some of my emotions is by writing in my journal. I can express my feelings on paper than talking... I hardly talk to anyone anyways so a pen and paper is basically my best friend. Does that make me weird?

No.
well, to "popular" people, yes, but to the rest of the world no.

If i go on a walk i usually think and talk things over to try to find the answers to myself...it may sound crazy but it helps me lots so....ggood luck

Yeah, this is a normal age to go through teen angst, as Zeck stated above.
Some people go through teen angst early, like myself (start at 10, end at 13). Others take the more normal route (start at 12, end at 16), and others come later (start at 14, end at 17 or 18). These aren't statistics or anything, I'm just throwing out what I know from observations from various individuals.

It's pretty much just hormones. Since you are female, it makes sense that at age 12 you're developing like this. You'll have days where for no reason whatsoever, you feel shitty, and other days you're so happy, and you don't have reasons for either. Pretty much moodswings; sometimes they're more severe and other times they're mild.

My advice is to think of the bright side as much as you can. Set goals for yourself. As ridiculous and constantly repeated as it sounds, it really helps you look forward to the future, and to envision yourself as your role model. It may help inspire you to push forward with a positive attitude.

well my familys divorced everyone does drugs parents hate each other im in the middle of it and my sister doesnt that i or my family does drugs so the world isnt as bad as u think
-member of the dollars-

>>11 not hardly. I am similar. Although i gave up writting jurnals years ago, I find it MUCH easier to write than to speak. Here on the web, I am myself. I could never speak this freely in real life. I just can't. My computer is my home, my soul, my life! Just because i don't speak much in public and don't have many real friends doesn't make me anymore weird than the rest of the world.
My slight insanity however.... thats a problem....
Anyway.... You're not weird. ^ ^

This is the kind of thing that makes me what to be a psychiatrist. Here's my two cents:

Bottom line is that you lack a sense of self-worth. You're at this wierd stage where you begin to crave the praise of others in order to better evaluate what you are truly meant for. In other words, as a few people before me have said, classic teenage angst.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to brush you off by giving you a generalized answer. I grew up in nearly the exact same situation as you did. My father tried to kill my mom when I was four. After the divorce I rarely saw him after that. I grew up without a dad and a mother who bottom line just didn't give a damn. We moved a lot, so I never could make any friends and my sister is some sort of hell spawn. I'm an exceedingly well educated dude, but I never applied myself, so my grades were always in the shitter. And I still have issues trying to take pride in what I do.

I know where you're coming from, and believe me when I say that everything looks a lot brighter when you hold your head up high. Just as you don't seem to have a reason to be depressed, you don't need a reason to be happy. Work on just getting to know yourself better. Don't spread yourself too thin amongst everything at once, just tackle one thing at a time. Also remember that you're young. You still have a ton of time before life really starts to hit you.

I need help, i try to live on, but its hard with out any pattern of thought, somthing to wait for or to belive in. I don't have spell check so please, bair with me.

The story starts two months ago on the 9th. Im 15 and my true love, witch i dated for 4 years had just broke up on me, the very day I loved her the most and tell her my deapest fealing, andmy darkest of secrets. Later on i baired with it, her dating a girl using, cheating bi' ass hole, not ever 2 days later. We stayed close friends, more or less.

Well just a few days ago i was talking with her mom , Her family is like another family for me, about normal stuff, how i feal, how life's going on...Ect. She told me as usaul just let her go on she'll come back, but then she said somthing i wish i didn't hear. i know it's nothing, but she told me, "Just let have some fun, befor..." Now i can only think of her, an inocent girl, at a tempramintal age of 15, in a unstable highschool, not strait on morals, just doing somthing she will regret and being hurt by people over taking her or abusing her.

And today somthing scary just hapend, i was think i shod just "Clean my self up and get back up on my feat." and i thought this scary thought, "*I could get better and make her jelouse by m-" then i grabed the closest sharp think, a broken plastic fork with just the stem and a proken top, and stabed myself with is and cut dont my arm with it for that thought.

Im scaired, i need help. Please tell me what i should do, a set for my to live on or belive in, or what i should do for this pain. Just please give me help.

P.S. sorry for the long stream

For all of the teen angstyness before >>18, here is my advice. Just SMILE. Say, "Fuck these depressing emotions. I won't let them control me. I am ME! I will not let these emotions hurt me. I will be happy!" Find something that makes you happy (not drugs alcohol or cutting or anything else that can hurt you.) and Live it up! For me, it's music, drawing, writing. I don't care if it's sad or angry. If I want to listen to it I listen to it. Now a days it's anything hard. It helps release the anger that makes me want to throw things. I don't care if what I write gets published. I don't care if people read it or like it. It helps me vent and just goof off. It helps me escape into my own world. It sends me to a place where I won't get judged and I'm encouraged. I love it. Drawing is just peaceful. I'm terrible at drawing, but there's just something about it that helps you escape. It takes your mind off of everything though small strokes and peaceful movements. You can also draw a stick person you're mad at and destroy it. That's good at relieving stress too.

Now for >>18. You can try to take the above advice, but I have a feeling you'll be a bit more tricky. For you, go to these links. The Butterfly Project. Youtube. and The Butterfly Project. Thread. This helps me out a lot.