Well derp. I figured I'd make a new thread to help break this board in. I want your opinion on relationships! Do you think they're good or bad? If you're single, do you like being so and vice versa.

Personally, I think they're nice to have but not absolutely necessary. I can live perfectly fine without a partner, and that's what I've been doing for a while. I don't see why people are so frustrated over them. Love is a confusing thing, and I'm trying not to approach it until absolutely necessary.

On the other hand, I do see how everybody's serotonin levels rise to incredible heights when in love. It's also less lonely with a partner, but friends can do the same job, no? I can't think of many pros however, considering how I don't have much experience myself.

Welp, it'd be nice if somebody could convince me otherwise. I guess that's all, Discuss!

Screw relationships, im independent, i dont need a man in my life~!
Pros: If done properly, you have a lightning rod. Someone to converse with bout whatever you feel like. You arent alone.
Cons: If done improperly, you get preggers. People feel like having constant PDAs
ETC: The opposite sex will never understand you 100%

Relationships are fucked up. If you can manage to find someone decent who like the same things as you and you get along with then go for it. If not, stay the fuck out of them. Don't get involved in relationships that you don't want to be in. Don't be one of those idiots who can't live without a boy/girlfriend. And all these 13/14 year-olds who already are dating, stop. You're too young to be getting your heads fucked with.

mfw a kid who isnt even out of elementary school saying hes in a legit relationship with some girl.
True story.

>>4...that's just...so wrong, on so many levels.
I didn't even go on a date until I was 16! What the fuck is this!?

I think that relationships are something you should save until college. Dating is something that can cause alot of drama, especially with younger groups. I've seen many of my friends go through dating and found their "soulmate" and think its going to go well, then they break up and they dont even look at each other. I myself dated once, but i saw other people's outcome so i just said "Just be friends"(Luka reference ^^). Most relationships dont make it through high school, and when you graduate you will most likely not see them ever again. This is my opinion, NOT the RIGHT opinion. If you want to take the risk, go for it. If not, just be patient and it will all come in time :)

Thus far, I've disagreed with everything said so far.

IMO:
Relationships are a great thing. You share experiences with another person you consider very close, and have someone that you can share your intimate thoughts (and occasionally parts) with. You grow and learn with them.

Personal Experience:
I, only a few months ago, ended a relationship with a really nice, wonderful, gorgeous girl. She was very intelligent and kind, and we did a lot of really cool things together, and shared a lot of our thoughts and experiences. We both really grew as people from it. We ended up splitting apart because we grew in differing directions, and no longer felt an attraction. It wasn't ugly, and we're still great friends that talk regularly, because we dealt with things using our heads.

The Problem:
People take relationships too seriously these days. And, they let their lives revolve around other people. In today's extroverted, "be independent" society, people come and go as they personally see fit. Now, since no two people think exactly alike, this causes the 'drama' that we see today.

Take a step back, realize that a relationship is there so that you may share your experiences and grow with another person. Understand that finding a person that will grow just like you will, takes time, and you more than likely won't find them on your first attempt.

The key to this, and many other things, is to just take a step back, breathe deep, and chill.

Well, I think they are a nice thing to have. I haven't really been in one, but I think it might be nice to have someone to love. I just don't understand the "drama" it causes. I also don't understand how people can go from one partner to another even though they say they love them...hmmm, I guess I learn it all as I get older.

>>7 Well, I guess that's one side to relationships.

I actually agree with what you're saying. Relationships can be nice and enjoyable if you're with the right type of person. In fact, I enjoy the casual types of relationships.

What I don't understand is, "Why are people in such a rush to enter a committed relationship?" I've never been a serious person, hence why I don't understand the concept behind a devoted/attached relationship. It's just too complicated sometimes. I mean, a lot of the new threads here are resulting from heartbreaks/bad relationships. If it hurts that badly, then stay single!

Beyonce > Rihanna.

>>9 Yeah, I agree wholeheartedly with that. People rush into these relationships thinking nothing more than "We're going to get married one day!" and it usually ends in tragedy :T

I think part of the reason is because others, who do this same thing, get all hurt and whatnot and proceed to spout nonsense about how "zero relationships ever work out," so the people who haven't hit that level feel the need to rebel and prove it wrong. So they rush in to a relationship with their lovey-dovey feelings and end up crushed due to the irrational decision they made.

I completely understand the feeling they have with those relationships - I've been there. I then proceeded to grow out of my dumbassery, and start making decisions like you read in >>7.

I believe it is completely possible to grow in to those heartfelt emotions, but from experience; it is best not to try and rush them.

Might I suggest that those of us who understand this chime in on those "relationships suck" conversations, and mention this concept to them? I've been dropping my ideas on people at random, and received some pretty good reactions. The more it spreads, the less 'drama' we have to deal with.

It'd be a long process, but a few years down the road we might start to see some sort of change. Possibly. It's a long shot, and I'm just rambling at this point, so I'm just gunna stop typing :P

>>10 These are discussion boards, feel free to be as verbose as you'd like.

I want the opinion of someone who's been or currently is in a long term relationship. It'd be nice to have some perspective here, rather than just the usual "forever single" attitude type.
(Talking about myself ;u;)

Change happens with more life experience. I would've never thought to dye my hair, but I did it. 3 times.
Can't say I regret that decision. I guess people's perspectives on life change as they go along. We may be against heavily attached (maybe not against, perhaps cautious or whatnot) relationships, but when you're married, your mentality just. boom. gone. unrecognizable :'D

GDI, I think I just derailed my own post again. Screw it, I give up.

>>11 I was just rambling on about something that we, as human beings, could do to improve the future for the next wave of relationship newbs. And once I start going down that road, I tend to not make sense xD

As for the long-term relationships... The one mentioned in >>7 lasted for almost exactly one full year, 12 months. Does that count as long-term?

>>11 Well, I guess I sounded like one of those "forever single" people in my first post. I don't actually want to be forever single, in fact I would like to be in a relationship. I just don't want one of the common ones that happen now that's like "OMG I love you so much!!!" then the next day is like "I hate you and never want to see you again!!!".
My one relationship may have screwed up a really good friendship I had, so I'm a little cautious about starting a new one. However, if the right guy comes around (and I'm saying right kind of guy, I don't have one picked out) who wants to date me, then yeah, I'll give it a go.

>>13 If you don't mind my suggesting, how about you read through >>7 and try an approach similar to that? Find a person you like and are interested in, and see about having a relationship with them. However, you have to make sure both parties are making conscious decisions, and not doing things based off of that early burst of "love" that so many people claim to have so quickly.

Keep it open, but explore things with one another. This maturity allows you to explore relationships without damaging any friendships, and can actually further them.

Best of luck to you!

Well, I am single. Sometimes it sucks, but I would rather be single and relatively happy than in a relationship with some chick who means nothing to me or I mean nothing to her. To me a relationship isn't something you should have just to have, sure it might make things better short term, but it'll only make things suck one way or another in the long run. I am content to wait until a decent girl comes my way.

In my middle school, having a gf or bf is a must for most popular people. I am a nerd and a geek, and I have no gf. I am cool with this because most girls are RETARDED where I go to school. I find this annoying as all hell. I liked a girl, but realized she was just an anime nerd, nothing more. My stance on realationships? Simple: Know your crush, if you only like him/her for their body, do not go into it, Bros before Hoes and most of all
DON'T GIVE UP SCHOOL FOR SOME CHICK

>>16 ...sound advice from a middle schooler? FUCK. this in conjunction with the Tsuki callout thread spell the end of the world. Everyone, disregard what >>16 said and drop out immediately, the world will not last long enough for your education to matter, have all the sex you can before the nuclear holocaust goes down!

Seriously though, >>16 makes a good point.

Even though I'm actually in a relationship, I still have to agree with the previous posts that mention rushing into things can lead to disaster. Hell, I didn't have my first date until my senior prom, and even then I still wasn't really all that sure about it. I'm sure I wouldn't have much trouble living my whole life on my own but I'm still glad that I've found someone. If you find the right person that you feel you can really connect to, you might actually have a meaningful and long-term relationship with him/her.

I think being in a relationship would be nice, but the people in my high school are pretty much all messed up. My school is known for drugs, even if it is a blue ribon school. Everyone in general seems to be very disrespectful of almost everything and seems to just be interested in sex and drugs. So ya, I don't really like my school, and I'm not interested in friendship or a relationship with any of the people I hear talking about that stuff or their friends who participate in their conversations.. I am a nerd and I will only date someone who is also a nerd so that they can actually put up with me. For example, >>16 we would not get along. I am a manga/anime FREAK, and you would be annoyed very quickly.

To be honest, I'm not a fan of dating. However, there is a difference between "dating" and "a relationship."

I like relationships. I'm not so hormonal that I feel the need to date around and get tons of kisses and make out sessions and eventually sex, so on and so forth. I'm fine just having guy friends. Therefore, if I do like someone and ask them out, I expect it to be a real relationship. For me, a relationship is more serious and mature. If a guy doesn't feel like being serious, then he can go fuck himself - I'm not for him. Simple as that.

(Note: I have no problem with people who date around. I just don't like to.)

In general, I find both dating and relationships to be generally useless hassles. Unless I seriously have feelings for someone, I don't bother with it. Chances are, the guy is going to end up turning into an asshole in a month's time anyway, so why bother going through the drama-fest? (Drama fests can be avoided by dumping them the second they're assholes; I unfortunately forgot this last time and tried giving second chances. Don't do it, ladies/gentlemen.)

Basically, when I do go out with someone, it's rare and only when I want a serious relationship. If I wanted kisses and sex, I could get it easily, but I don't want nor need it at this point in my life, so I don't bother looking for someone. I have had positive points in my relationships; unfortunately, they don't affect me the way they apparently affect many of the other people in this thread. It's just another decent thing added to my life. I don't magically become happy and lose all the stress or crap :V

>>20 Hmm, if only more people adopted your mindset about relationships.

That'd save people a lot of trouble.

>>21 it is a pretty smart way to approach things. it's just not for everyone though.

>>17 When the nuclear holocaust goes down, I'll be singing "I dont want to set the world on fire" from Fallout 3. But I thank you for respecting my advice. Here is why i say my advice: A friend of mine liked a girl who I knew was an ass, but he thought she was nice. He broke 2 rules:Bros befo hoes, and know your crush. He got cheated on though. This is why I don't date right here:His grades plummeted, he couldn't think straight. I snapped him out of it and now he's normal. Plus, girls just fucking confuse me.

Ohhey. I made something like this a few months ago on random. Well. I guess I'll put in my opinion since I don't think I really did.

I think that at the young age I'm at (17, FYI) it shouldn't be the first and foremost thing on our minds. A lot of people my age break their backs trying to find someone to fall in love with. It ends well for some of them, but for a lot of other ones just don't succeed at all. It's sad when that happens. But I can't blame them for trying. Being in a relationship is great...to be able to be "in love" with another human who returns those feelings brings a kind of happiness that's difficult to find in other places. Who wouldn't want that? But like I said, it shouldn't be the most important thing on the minds of people my age. We still have years ahead to fall in love, to make mistakes, to learn and become better people in the future so that when we do find the right person, we'll be ready. Pursuing right now isn't a great idea. If you happen to fall for somebody, and it works, I'm not saying you shouldn't be in a relationship with them. If it happens, let it happen. But if you make it a priority, you might want to reconsider.

>>24 But what if you try to forget about it and not care about falling in love but you just constantly feel this loneliness and you can't seem to shake it off? I keep telling myself I'm to young to fall in love (14, too young in my opinion) but I just can't stop thinking about how nice it would be to have someone who you can lean on and who understands you and who can put some warmth in your heart when you're emotionally freezing... I haven't necessarily made it a priority to fall in love, but somehow it keeps pushing it's way to the front of my mind. I ind myself thinking about it more... Advice please?

See, you and I think alike. It does come up a lot. But the best thing to do is fight through it all. As cliche as it is to say that, it's what has to be done. Fight the urge to start searching. Let whoever it is that's meant to be with you find you first. Trust me, if you wait long enough and someone finally comes along, all the waiting will be worth it. All this "coldness" you're describing will disappear and it'll be great. Patience is a virtue. We just need to learn to practice it.

it depends on ur age. my friend is 11 and she had alot of boyfriends, but me, on the otherhand is WAY smarter than her,and will wait until i am a teen.

Thanks guys. I'm not very good at being patient, but since it's love I know I'll hold out longer if it's really worth it

I haven't been in a relationship with anyone yet nor do I give a shit because I promised myself that I would reach my dreams before dating. I have to agree with >>20.

Sometimes, I feel like there's a hole in my chest because I'm missing that one feeling (love). <--- I need help with this because I always try to find something that can substitue it. I don't want to date either because I don't want to risk someone hurting my heart. What should I do?

Personally, yes it is good to have a relationship. I have been in 1 already and its very fun to be honest. Of course eventually she did break up with me and I was sad for a while, but I did get over it. Why am I not in a relationship now? Well I am just waiting for the right person. Simple as that.

>>29 It can hurt if the relationship ends, I have been there, but eventually you realize its no big deal and there are plenty of fish in the sea. Just go for it! haha :P you will see that it is fun and has benefits.

>>27 "...me, one the otherhand is WAY smarter than her,and will wait..."

Please don't call yourself smart while speaking like a caveman. It's contradictory. Think of all the innocent robots trying to read this who self-destruct because of the paradox you are causing.

>>29 Mentally stab yourself in the heart a couple hundred times until it's nice and tough. A couple of shitty boyfriends won't hurt compared to that ;O

Seriously, though, just toughen up. If you don't want to be hurt, thicken your skin and learn to go with the current instead of against it. Those two new features will allow you to have a slightly less stressful experience with dating and relationships.

>>27the fact that she is that young makes it sound like your some old pedo

I've never had a boyfriend but I came close to getting one... This guy i used like also liked me back and we REALLY liked each other but then he ended up dating my bestfriend and I just realized I've been down since then... But my best friend, who was with me through it all and encouraging me and stuff, well I found myself loving him. Idk that he likes me back, but since i've been used to having the person i like to like me back for so long, i kinda feel a sense of lonliness. The guy I love now is my close best friend and he doesn't know i love him and I'm scared that if he ever found out then it'd be really awkward.. But I really wanna know if he likes me back, so what do I do? Continue one-sidedly loving him? And really, i have this sense that he's the right guy, because i feel safe around him and i can be myself around him... I dont want to lose him, soooo...help?

>>34 to answer ur question, try talking to him about it straight up, avoid beating around the bush and b clear with him in your own way but so that he understands where ur comin from, IF he really is your real friend he will listen to what you have to say and how you feel and will either accept you and tell you that he likes u back, or at worst tell you he just wants to be friends but still be there for you and be close friends. if the latter happens then at least he knows how you feel and yall will be that much closer (after a possible short span of awkwardness) and who knows, but maybe later on in the future he may come to realize he likes you back, but your inner desire to know his feelings will never be quenched until you ask

im in a similar situation with this girl, but im soo bad at bein able to tell what a girl is thinking and when im around her i cant really voice whats on my mind without it coming out completely stupid.... i know at one point she did like me but she was in a relationship so i just kinda let it go, but then she broke up with him and a few months later told me straight up that she liked me but i had a gf at the time soo the roles got switched, well we started kinda tlkn cuz i broke up with my ex awhile ago, but now she is like ignoring me outta nowhere nd im rly confused as to whats goin on..... nd im not sure what to do cuz i was gonna see if she wanted to go out with me but now idk if she still feels the same as she did.....

Personally, I love the idea of having someone you can truly love and who can truly love you back. But its really hard to find someone like that cause either they don't like you for you or they're complete jerks. (Lol at least in my experience) But if someone can find that person they're meant to be with then they should be happy. ^^