1 Name: Neko-tama : 2014-03-27 18:22 ID:xR0UUFqP [Del]
I'm not sure if I'm posting this in the correct place, forgive me if I am!
Today I just had this circling around in my head and I just had to get it on paper. It is based off of a few feelings of mine that I really just wanted off of my chest.
PS (I also couldn't get the feeling of the ending of Five Centimetres Per Second out of my head but instead if cherry blossoms it was snow.)
I don't really have a title for this but in the mean time I'll just call it "That wistful kind of sadness." Okay enough with my rambling, please tell me what you think ^^
Today I looked at you and it made me sad. Not the type of feeling that makes you want to cry but that wistful kind of sadness. I believe in destiny, some say that destiny shapes our lives and I've always wondered what life would be like if my destiny was different. I feel wistful when I see you because we never had the chance to be something. I take a glance at your profile and remember what I felt years ago, you could say you were my first love, however that love was false, I was in love with the idea of what we could possibly be, how we could have had a real love between us; I loved you from a distance. I'm wistful ever still because I wonder what that possibility could have been.
If there was a parallel universe, I wonder if we could have been something. I wonder if either one of us was just a little braver, brave enough to establish a bond between us. I guess we're both cowards in this one. I wonder if you felt what I felt back then, I often heard that you did, yet we never managed to cross the bridge into the other's world. I imagine that other me must be awfully different from the me I am today and the you of that world to be different as well. I wonder if the us of that world could be considered as a "we".
It's strange that I still feel like this, you and I are so different and I realize that to me, you are still an idea with a face; I don't know you. At one point we did have the chance, before either of us grew up. But now, we live in separate worlds peering into the other's every now and then, like a wall of glass was built between us. And as the snowflakes fall onto my cheeks I wonder if we could have watched the snow fall together.
There are times when I catch your glance and it's as if the possibility between us pierces each of our hearts, and I see it in your eyes as you must see it in mine. But we go back to our worlds, the two of us might as well hate each other, I see your world as you see mine, we don't understand each other and the paths of destiny we are taking have lead us in opposite directions.
I wonder if the us of that parallel are happy. Regardless of what possible love we could have had, we live in this world and even though we will never love each other, we still move on in our lives. I don't know much about your life but I hope you are happy. I've gone and fallen in love with someone else, someone who suits the me of this world, and I've gone and found my own happiness.
And as I warm my hands with my breath being embraced by the cold alone, I ask you this, "isn't the snow lovely today?". Somehow I don't think the you of this world would agree, we're just too different. And so I return to the warmth of the indoors, the wistful feeling still stinging my heart.
