The point is I start the story and other will keep continuing the story and then you'll see were it leads. the depends of you guys and gals to see were it ends.

I was walking back home... (continue)

when i got butt rapped

by my pet rock

In the public restroom at a bar.

Feeling depressed, I walked home

...I took a quick detour down an alley to empty my bladder for I had much to drink. Only it was too late before I noticed the gang members i had mistaken for a pole!

the gang members proceeded to touch my ear while telling me "You gone learn today" then they take out Exodia the Forbidden One and send me to the Shadow Realm

Then a skeleton popped out.

and... started tap dancing

I found my self wearing tap shoes, a top hat and holding a cane so did what any sensible man would do...

When i'm dancing, i saw someone beside me dancing as well.

and then that someone melted into a pool of dark chocolate

I must admit though; they were delicious.

I went home and my dad rapped me for coming home late

then he turned into a turkey

and flew away with piercing in his eyeball

I knew what must be done. I had to rescue the princes

The princes were all fruitcakes. But they were really smart ones.
And really yummy ones... oh wait.

Then I realized that I had eaten the princes. Oh well. I used my TARDIS to travel back in time and went back to walking back home when suddenly

I had been shot by Samuel L Jackson who asked me, "ENGLISH MOTHER FUCKER! DO. YOU. SPEAK. IT?" to which i responded...

"Yeah, I'm just dumb." And Samuel left, leaving his gun on the ground. I decided To pick up the gun and point it at the wall yelling, "Pew pew pew!"

...while ignoring the bullet lodged in my left leg. The yelling continued for several minutes until I accidentally pulled the trigger,

For some apparent reason, someone spat gum on my gunwound and it stopped hurting after that. I looked up and saw Jackson with a bullet hole in his crotch area, lookin like he spat something. It was then I noticed that as Excalibur from Soul Eater was dancing on Jackson's head.

But then I somehow turned into Jackson, too! Excalibur got confused and exploded, turning into fairies. But the fairies were all carnivorous and ate humans. Then I turned into myself again...

this time into the wind. As I flew off in the air, I couldn't help feeling how free I felt. I felt like the wind could take me anywhere. I let the air surrounding me lead me to wherever it took me. It ended up taking me to...

heaven. I stared into the face of God and he told me what I've always wanted to hear which was...

" MUDADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADA " God replied, then he turned me into a speaking cat, sent me to earth again and now I sleep in my tree house made of gold and diamond , only to find my female cat friend cuddling with me. I tell her ...

bite your tail while you scratch my back for it shall please me, afterwords...

I awoke in a dumpster next to a dead...

... badger whos teeth looked like diamonds. I reached my hand for them when suddenly...

the world imploded and I turned into hydrogen and went to Mars, but Mars also imploded but somehow I ended in a wormhole that led me to...

Palaven surrounded by Turians I had no choice but to...

eat pizza, which turned me to....

... A hero who had to save the world. Making me to wear a underwear and a....

Cape. But, it was the beginning of a new adventure, I...

had to defeat the shadow organization called "The Dollars"!

I was suprised! i did not know what to do so I ...

killed the hero, then ended up being the villain. Which probably just...

..meant I had to read more Destiel fan fiction.

"NO!" I yelled. Putting my hands in the air, saying...

"Noo it caint bee."...

"Noo it caint bee."...

"Noo it caint bee."...

But it was! The evil "Caint Bee" had returned. I thought I had thrown him into a volcano!

I had to get away the only way I knew how to. I jumped off a cliff...

as i fell through the air i thought ...

"Wasn't there a respawn station behind me?"...

I realized that; no there wasn't.

So, instead of letting myself plummet to the Earth, I grew eagle wings and let myself fly as far as I could go. It took me to the land of...

On second thought, I flew into space on accident, and couldn't move at all. I also...

Remembered I had been shot and passed out because of the pain.

In my slumber, I felt a horrid chill grow down my spine and I heard insidious laughter fill my brain. Reality then hits me, like a flash o lightning.

Then I actually do get struck by lightning, which causes me to lose my memory...

...so I decide to leave behind the life I couldn't remember and join a three ring circus as a harlequin...

...but they did not accept me and sent me to Johto to start a pokemon journy, but they also gave me a...

FREAKING POINTLESS MAGIKARP!!!

Which ended up being LV. 375 and having a special move called Holy Shit. Using this weapon, I slaughter the entirety of Johto, except...

My rival, who i named Asshat. He refused to use pokemon to fight and instead used...

His amazingly sexy red hair to suduce me into...

Please not the bed room. Please not the bedroom. Please not the bed room. DAMN IT!...

And then you got raped by asshat, until...

The story returned to first-person, and then...

Misty and Dawn came in the room ,and both stripped down to their underwear and fucked me so hard i became a lesbian. I think i became Scott Pilgrim

because the world was against me. I suddenly thought to myself...

...I should just go ride a turtle with a fedora

I did. It was not that satisfying really. But then then Kim Jong Il kicked me in my...

American Crotch, then he nuked...

the first person perspective, so now you think...

World War III is going to begin...Starting..........Now. Everyone starts to...

RUN FOR THERE LIFES! Then suddenly...

Everyone stops running, because they saw...

Steve Jobs rise from the dead. The clouds went dark, and Ipads started coming down from the sky. But...

They all broke before they even hit the ground. Then-

Pac-man showed up with his new friend...

With their party hats! Drinking...

Sake! Then everyone is drunk & starts...

destroying everything. The Earth was shrinking as whatever was going on. It's because of the...

Dollars & these awesome-ness mixed w/...

The Daleks and chasing...

Pigs w/ wings eating....

the molten lava. Later then, the moon...

cried because...

It was so happy when it saw Justin Beiber being hit with a water bottle.

Which made everyone happy because he's a....

Scratch that. My mind was so fucked from all the weird shit that has been happening that I couldn't thinks of anything. Completely ignoring the laws of physics, a horse head mask morphs onto my head and I race into the cosmos where I found...

Someone else who adds unnecessary "S"'s to the word think.

But the other part of the story begins at...

The last page of the book.

Which leads to the sequel book called...

Rob Van Dams one of a kind story. Which has Extreme 5 star frog splashes, rolling thunders &...

A wealth of additions waiting to added by my fellow Dollars. One of those additions are...

Extremely sexual parrots trying to eat me alive. It hurts... but I like it.

so I went to the Philippines and to the president's place I met

Samuel Jackson, who was beating up...

Good lord! Is that Nixon? Good on ya Sam.

Lincoln suddenly appears & says...

"I'M SORRY, I CANNOT HELP YOU BECAUSE I AM THE QUEEN OF TEAM PLASMA!!" and flies away, leaving behind only a yellow kazoo and a trail of...

koalas, who then proceed to grasp onto their legs and arms,playfully nibbling at their cloths.jannet, the secret ex-wife of chuck norris then appears wearing a light blue summer dress and crying. "how could my beloved pertner...

Arm-bar Jesus!

The worst was yet to pass however as i realized that...

Jesus was not actually jesus, for the holes in his extremeties were not present, nor was any indication they had been there in the first place. No, the man before us was not Jesus, but in fact...

OLD MAN SMITHERS?

In the basement with a candlestick, smiling grotesquely with a batman tattoo on his left tit shining in the stark moonlight.

(yeah. I went there and came back with it)

when a sumo came along and...

raped old man smithers, I quickly left do to all the fucked up shit that was happening. I flew away on my meat stick, and did all these sorts of flips and rolls in the sky. I saw the sumo still raping poor old man smithers. A single tear fell on my chin as i realized that old man Smithers was staring at me with intense pain in his eyes...

Who then said...

"Never forget! The flute plays louder in the cold!"

then a dancing flute came and...

I was confused, but I realized that it was not a saying, but a magical old spell...

that gave me ultimate powers to summon flutes from the dead and..

freaken got rapped again!!!

No "P"

i soon tired of being raped. time to rape people of my choice

I stared at the rapist, glaring at him, when suddendly a giant taco crashed on him, killing him. I pulled my pants on and quickly left the scene, my ass still hurt though....

I decided to ride out the pain of it by drinking. Heavily. I soon became aware of a certain statistic that said...

Drinking can cause stomach cancer. I looked down, and lo and behold, a tumor so large in my stomach it protruded from my abdomen. My initial thought was to freak out and run to the hospital, but instead I said...

"FUCK THIS SHIT!" And went to go rape a little kid in the park...

Which turned out to be a demon which took me on a trip to hell. There, I got to eat nachos.

The cheese on the nachos was actually glue, I never spoke again.

Until Iron Mike Tyson punched me in the face.

Mike Tyson handed me a Guitar.

WHICH GAVE ME THE POWERS OF A POWERFUL GODLY GIGANTIC FUCKING BEAUTIFUL MEAT STICK OF ETERNAL MEATTTTTT...

and then I raped that meat in the butthole

But I suddenly realized that meat was enjoying my dick in it, so I started to run, but got caught by a gang of black Thai transvestites..

When the black Thai transvestites raped me , I ran away and encountered a cute Japanese cosplay girl so I raped her ...

After the rape, I asked her where she lives, so I could walk her home, and she replied...

"I live in Doboj" and I said "wtf is that , some kind of food?"
She beat the shit out of me and ran away , I went home and ...

... I found a shitload of Cocaine and my Italian cousin with gun in his hands, so I threw horse shit at him, but...

...then I thought "Since when do I have a Italian cousin". Then I figured out that the guy who I threw horse shit at is actually my mom so I ...

... So i got grounded, and not only she forbid me to use the computer, she even killed my kawaii pet dog, and I had nothing to do but to...

...look thru my window and search for cute cosplay girls to jerk off to , while I was doing that a huge black guy saw me and he ...

ran up to me and started to sing and dance to Miku Hatsune's song "popipo".

(forgot the dots XD)...

...dressed only in a marble bag and tiara, with the logo for one direction on the cloth along his loins, and each of their portraits in a separate rhinestone upon the nylon crown. He dances in a circle, joined by others, and when they had finished...

...they had me listen to Justin Bieber and One Direction songs , I tried to run away but it was useless. While I was listening to the songs ...

I decided that what was to be done was use the guitar i was given to make music. I now have a small fan base of those GOD DAMN HIPSTERS!

Thus I decided to stop playing professionaly and only do it as a hobby. I figured it was better to give up the music scene rather then attract to much attention from that sort.

But three seconds then I was struck hard by a television show I am watching about dancing and then went on to start my new career as a Ballerina inside a bar that happenly to have appeared behind the White House.

I felt powerful, i was a proffesional ballerina, in a bar, behind the white house

but i had noticed that with this new life came new problems.
no matter how hard i tried, i just couldnt stop......i had just started it as a hobby to pass the time.... punching ducks........but, i soon found that it had become an addiction

...So only way to get rid of that addiction is to get a new addiction, aaaaaaaand is started taking meth...

but alas! I couldnt stop! So the meth deformed me in to a old magical sky witch who now lives in the internet...

and therefore it was entertaining for awhile as I trolled the living daylights out of every superstar using internet till it brought me so much attention that I was nearly.....

....a super duper star, a star that shined so bright like a diamond to the extent that I became a red giant. I would even walk around the streets of instagram and people would cry as I shone my star light upon the glimmering eyes. But then.....

The greatest thing happened. John Belushi greeted me like an old brother into the waiting embrace of Jimi Hendrix

Which then we started eating sandwiches and recited Chingy while i........

Hula hooped and played games, when suddenly......

Meteors destroyed everything and all of kind when some people survived including himself which they bounced to outer space and fell again to the earths ground to discover the true meaning of life

And out of the ashes of that world, and before only that man who knew what this world had been worth, that the Soul of the World rose up before him

and

The soul of the world stared into his eyes and said 'what do you wish for, mortal' and he replied

"I wish only to love, and to be loved for the monster that this world has made me into."

And so from the Soul of the World rose a beautiful woman dressed in silk. Upon her features were clear indicators of intent to rape.

Which, of course, meant that he raped her. But in the mostly loving way he could, for it shannot be rape if both of them like it.

"Why is this entire story about rape and destruction?" asked the editor.
"Don't worry," Mr. Dollars Forum replied, "we're getting to the good stuff now."
The two of them continued eating popcorn with the cosmic warrior goat Shamlock on the nearby rooftop , and continued watching the scene unfold.

It was then they had decided that the story should turn into a movie. So they called Steven Spielburg or whatever the fuck his name is and ordered him to film this magical movie. He agreed, but sadly, the movie could not be made for he time traveled and died.

But I didn't understand this so...

I just kept writing to bridge this to someone else's comment after me.. Lets seeeeeeeee
Where were we? Oh, right.. The morning of december 16th. It was cold.. And I mean cold.. That if you took an ice pick and plunged it into the ground, you'd shatter the world into a million pieces.. It was morning time.. Kyon tossed and turned in his bed as the alarm sounded off loudly. The alarm clock would not cease to signal the morning despite all of Kyon's post-sleep grumbles. He reached up to the clock that was perched high up on the shelf above him.. "Cold cold cold!" He moaned tiredly. The clock fell down from the shelf and landed right in front of Kyon. "Tch'" grunted kyon, kind of annoyed.. It was time for school. Just then, Kyon's sister busted into the room. "Hey kyon! Wakey wakey!!" She said, pulling the covers off, to Kyon's chagrin. "Mommy told me me to make you be sure to eat breakfast! and you better eat yours too, Shami!" Shamisen let out a frightened meow as sister pulled him from Kyon's bed and took him downstairs. "Shami- Shami- breakfast time for shami!!" She cried as she bounced gleefully down the steps. "Cold.. So cold.." Moaned kyon.. He looked up to the window that shined brightly to his face.. Seeing it was morning, he let out another grunt. "Stand, bow!" Said the teacher at the end of first period. "Thankyou for the lesson," replied the students in unison. "Thats all for today," stated the teacher. It was nice and warm up to the school arts festival, but when December hit, the temperature dropped super fast, like it was making up for lost time or something. It felt like Japan just decided to skip fall this year, or- better yet; maybe the guy upstairs confused a prayer for more business with a spell to change the weather or something.. 'Siberian air mass', seriously? I know you have to stick to your route and and all.. But you could skip us once in a while.. It's like the seasons are out of wack or something.. Great, now I'm worried about the environment. Yeah, well, I might be worried but it's not like I'm gonna do anything about it.. Too much work. "Uh.. Hey, Koizumi," said Kyon as Koizumi rounded the corner. "Oh, hello there." Replied Koizumi. "Class duty, huh?" Asked Kyon, less than enthusiastically. "That's right," he replied. "Hmm? You've got that worried look on your face, again, what's wrong?" observed Koizumi. "Haruhi's sort of been hyped up all morning.." Kyon answered. "Oh, about the you know what?" He continued. "You know it." Chided Kyon. "Koizumi, hurry!" Exclaimed a girl from koizumi's class. "Pardon me," Koizumi said, moving past Kyon.

After Koizumi left Kyon he decided to sit on the roof of the school, where he started to think. "I've been written into such a fucked up story," he thought to himself. So Kyon Set off on a journey to find the editor. Of course he needed a mode of transportation and what better way to get around than by...

Riding a magical radish named Shela. Shela then bucked him off and Kyon landed in a heap of....

"What a strange dream" said Kyon, rubbing his head. "something.. Is burning!!!" He continued in a panic. He looked down to the space heater beside him to find that his hair had been burnt by it. He jerked his head backwards, nearly hitting his head on the table. Kyon opened his eyes to findnagato staring down at him. "N.. Nagato! Im sorry!" He pleaded. "It is fine." Said nagato in her monotone voice. Kyon scurried back up to his feet. "How long have you been there?" He asked. "An hour," she replied. A cold draft blew through the window and onto kyon. "It really is cold.. Maybe I should go back beside the heater" he mused. Just then the door busted open to reveal Haruhi, looking, more excited than ever. "Kept 'ya waiting, didnt I?!" She asked. "Not. At. All.." Mumbled kyon.

*Bells chime* Kata-aawaa itsumo wat'shiii no mune niiii..

Suddenly, Kyon was teleported into another dimension which was filled with floating dentures for some reason. It started talking saying..

My God! Where the hell did I put the torch?

But something suddenly...

happened. A large cake had flew in the sky as its shadow flew over me. I stared as the cake flew by grandly. Petrified for words, I blinked several times. Then my eyes glistened with inspiration.
"I HAVE A NEW DREAM!!!" I shouted, getting the high hopes of finding that divine flying chocolate cake.

I will become the best baker on Minecraft lol

but soon all i do is burn the cakes and fail at being a baker so i have to chage my profesion

So I become a companion of the Doctor.

It was the wrong kind of doctor he asked me "Where did this all begin?" but nevertheless he was a really cool dude.

so i answered him "well it all started when i

But as I start Ashat my Pokemon rape friend thing something (sorry guys if this is inappropriate, but I will only do this once on this site)comes through a magical pink door and starts doin it doin it doin it with the doctor besides me...

And i was like, "Holy what is going on here". But even without asking i know where the story is going by just reading the three posts above this post.

So i said to myself, "better get outta here. FAST."

But when i opened the door, there was--!!

Sherlock Holmes back from the dead.

i started at him when he put a gun to my head

I was hesitant at first but I knew what I had to do.

I had to

Use my time-stop ability to take unleash a kamehameha wave and destroy the gun. It was then that I...

thought, "I need sleep".

So I lay down on the ground and sleep.

I woke up and found myself in another world, that i did not know of...

I was lost, tired, and I was sick of the same world...the same events...evrything is just the same...

So I flew to pluto

When i arived i saw these very attractive boys/girls.( or what ever the hell attracts you)

I watch the girls and boys with wide eyes full of envy and lust. Shock courses through my body when suddenly one boy stands and proceeds to the center of the groups of people. "I AM THE LORD OF POTATO LAMPS AND YOU ARE NOW MY LOYAL FOLLOWERS" he shouts, making everyone fall silent. In one sweeping motion, the crowd salutes and turn towards me. One stunningly beautiful girl approaches me and places a hand on the back on my neck, bringing me closer. She leans in and whispers in a tone dripping with malleolus.....

"Why did you deflower the walrus? It was the lama who truly loved her. Now the goblin shark is furious at your actions. What are you going to do about that?"

"You shall suffer from thy GANDALF!!!"

"Nooooooooooo!!!-----" The beautiful lady gasped and gave me a horrified look as I screamed hellishly, ripping off a branch next to me and smacked her with the branch. My fury started to spread around my body and I knew I could do nothing else but to unleash my ultimate power, which was...

a strange ability I had gotten from a saucepan I found in Jamaica, I felt energy orbiting my body. As I looked down I saw that it was in the form of hot pink lightning...

emerging from my crotch, its pulsating light attracting legions of elves to my side. As I prepared to charge, I took a deep breath and ...

the elves all suddenly began gnawing on my shins. They had been against me the whole time! I tried to kick them off but they were resilient little bastards. However, just when it seemed that all hope for my shins was lost ...

Gimli ate them

"Oh god to the lords!!" I cried as I freed myself from tthe elf crowd that gradually grew smaller. Even so, many still stared at me for using my frying pan from Jamaica, and I had to run away.
"HE'S DEATH! DEATH CARRIES AROUND A FRYING PAN!!!" Everyone single on of the mob then started throwing potatoes and bananas at me. Hovering my arms to protect myself, I ran for my life.
But as I ran, my face bumped into someone else.
He was.....

thor

My heart skipped a beat, as I stood looking up at him with a look of thrill and terror. With concern in his deep blue eyes, he bends down and scoops me and the Jamacin pan up with ease. A small blush crept upon my face, as he carried me bridel style away from the scene. I wrapped my arms around his torso and....

...I pulled myself up to where I was facing him. I shut my eyes and waited. Soon enough I felt a warm hand cup my face and tilt my head up. As soon as are lips were to collide, I felt a tugging on my sleeve. I whipped my head back to find a lost looking child in the place of the pan. With those innocent orb-like pale green eyes, the little girl opened her small pink lips and...

..... gazed at us. Why was this moment happening? Why did this little bastard interupt my moment? When I wanted to sass at her, the little girl spited out,
"Have you seen my mommy?"
She had those green eyes... but her voice was definetely not a child's- but in fact, it was a demon"s voice. Thor then dropped me to magnetize his hammer and- WAIT. The Jamaican pan also flew to his hand?!?
"____, it was I who was granted with this Jamaican Pan also." His voice so crisp said in confidence. "Let me handle this." I watched in horror as the girl revealed her true identidy, which was.....

a loli version of balalaika from black lagoon with NoWacking's voice

^

but I didn't care and went to what I was suppose to do which was.....

to use magic power to kill thor and do things that should never be menshioned ..

Such as fangirling over Izaya and Moriarty so much that the world turns into a teddybear made of sushi and explodes into fountains of...

Cats that is made of the sushis!

which all cry tears made of rainbows because Kuroha didn't get enough screen time in Mekakucity Actors which has caused fangirls all over the world to...

make so meny fanfictions that the world is a fanfiction it was terrifiny

And the fanfictions all had a hidden message that said :"Charles you eedjit you're supposed to end with ...s so other people can continue don't make me slap you jeez" which made witchkers (charles) so sad that he...

made a new story that was made of rainbows and lollypops and chocolate but the happiness did not last long becouse dark magic witchkers (charles alter ego) attacked the land and everyone cried tears of chocolate sushi cats

...which were then eaten by everyone who then got really annoyed because just two people are spamming this one thread. They got so angry that they...

Tried to kill them but they failed couse in this new world all wepons or death were trued into cats or food but they found a way that was ...

... going to Kuroha for help because just like him, Kuroha's weapons of death are amazing and therefore cannot be transformed into cats or food. But because he is Kuroha, and you know what he's like, instead of helping them, he did the unthinkable...

he turned them into cats and gave them cat food, until one day one of the cats realized they used to be human. To return to normal they

Had to drink five liters of pure maple syrup

and pilgrimage to Canada (after being very sick), where they found an almighty maple tree, and in a little house at the bottom, the cat god lived. The cat god was like no cat they had ever seen...

it had only a head (of what we can see)
with giant eyes and giant ears the same size as her head and all it did was grant wishes about cats and food so i wished about
...

Catstiel which is like Castiel except a cat. I would have wished for a cat-Kuroha but I realize that would be a bad idea because...

well, who would want a cat like that? Because a moose named Sam is so much better. Who wouldn't want....

A squirrel named Dean? Though naming anything after Supernatural is probably a bad idea, so I'll wish for a cat named Monroe! When I got my cat, I...

fell completely in love with it and swore to do anything the cute little thing wanted. I was completely unaware that my adorable cat was actually a...

being straight from the pits of Hell. I thought it was cute until it asked me to...

bomb multiple cities but instead I...

decided to go back in time and stop myself from ever picking up the cat. I knew that this would cause a paradox, but I had no idea that it would cause...

it would couse a CATTADOX!! Dun dun dunnnnn! it made the world turn into cats and eeryone was cats exept for you you know why you arnt becouse .....

for some reason you're immune to the C-virus. You've been fighting it off for years wearing some nice booty shorts and a tank top that barely covers your chest. You're a gun slinging girl wandering the world alone hoping to find other survivors. Mila Jovovich ain't got nothing on you.

But then one day a whole bunch of cats came running after you when suddenly...

A little whiny bitch kid called Hibiya came along and ran through the crowd of cats, toppling them all as he screamed "GODDAMIT WHY THE HELL ARE THERE SO MANY CATS IN THIS ARGHHHHH WHY OH MY GOD DIE ALL OF YOU I HATE CATS I WILL KILL THEM ALL ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
I thought I was saved, but before long...

...A samurai from the edo period took you hostage and as that continued you used your gun slinging skills to kill him. Just when you were about to leave...

you came across another samurai, this time from the PEDO period and he bestowed upon you these great words of wisdom:

"The best thing about babies when they learn to crawl is that they are already in a great position." The Samurai stated before you fell into a hole and...

decided to start roleplaying with a white rabbit that was falling down the hole with you. You were Simon from Durarara(rarararararara etc.) and the rabbit was...

Masaomi Kida, who insisted you go out on the town and try to pick up soe hot girls

Witch had rabies and other medical diecieses and then go and...

buy them ice cream because Masaomi couldn't since he was a broke rabbit. Then once you finally reached the bottom of the hole...

Your eyes widened as you saw a beautiful but horrifying scene unfolding before you. It was...

Shizaya happening

And you screamed like a fangirl. Took ton of pictures. After that Shizaya...

caught you taking pics of them. You ran down a random tunnel and they started chasing you. When you turned the corner you saw...

A big pink Staypuff Marshmallow man standing in front of you with a creepy smile on his face. He tries to grab you...

But then a knife gets thrown into his face. You turn to look for the source of the knife and see a little shizaya baby who throws knives AND vending machines! The little baby picks you up in his little baby arms and...

ands throws you into the air and plays catch with iziya adn hes useing me as a ball i fall to the ground and i fall down the ...

... rabbit hole and into a meadow full of lilies of the valley. I meandered through the flowers until reached a dirt path when I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around, and saw...

Micheal Jackson and Herbert following me. There was only one thing left for me do. I had to use my.....

..mecha carrot to start dancing tip-tap with my new fellows!
But when I was doing my solo the white rabbit...

...took my mecha carrot and hit Michael Jackson in the head. I was caught off guard, and Herbert...

said stick your hand out like you're pulling a carrot out of the ground. Next thing you know there's this Dandy guy from outer space massaging a nice pair of......

little children. You misinterpret this and think that dandy guy wants to eat the children! You know what you must do. You call the giant unicorn dragon god by shouting these words with all your might:

bump

Bump bump! The camel has a hump. Please don't catch the mumps. Or it will make you jump jump jump.

You just made the gods confuzzled.

Then the god of rapp appeared before then...

I stumbled into the world of fanfiction. But, I encountered something that continues to haunt me...Fangirls...They then....

they proceeded to Rapp me till I broke. I screamed and cried, years after while watching clannad after story

Suddenly, a meteor crashed down into everyone, but I'm the main character, so I live. Afterwards...

I became lonely so I decided to make another person. I use my DNA and some dove that escaped from the meteor. And I created the first man made angel.

The angel blew his trumpet. Then Johnny Cash came right out of the the ground.Then Then June Carter said...

"fuck y'all niggas"

And after hours of silence he said "let there be a duck" and a duck appeared.

Although the duck made sounds that an infant pig would, and had the legs of a human being rather than little duck feeties.

And then....Shizuo cam in and BEAT DA SHIET OUT OF IT!

Izaya randomly popped up and Shizuo beat the shit out of him too.

then shizaya fangirls stormed the area and drowned them in their nose bleed blood.

then shizaya fangirls drowned them in nose bleed blood

Then celty came and stop the fight

And kick all fangirls away . I just ...

ran away. And when I opened up my eyes, I saw...

>>267
The Freckled Jesus.

who grabbed my hand and taught me how to swim to get through the nose bleed blood pool

Of course, having walked on liquids his entire life, his swimming instructions failed me so I...

Grew wings and flew like the stupid pigeon i knew i always was.

After a while of flying, I realized that landing was going to be problematic, so I...

flew past a jet airplane and rode on it until it crashed into a stranded island full of.... hot anime men.

I had a nose bleed from all the yaoi ships then died of beautiful beauty

But was revived since I'm the main character. I thought I was home free 'till I saw...

a man with dark glasses, eating a banana, approaching me. I...

Took the banana, and said "Why is this contraption in my presence!!!" He looked up slowly, and it turns out...

It was my long lost brother, Who left because he...

was my father. Admittedly, I didn't mind at all that I have a brother/father hybrid because of the influence a certain individual named

Sierra Chocolate Thunder, my sister from another mister. She always used to

...pretend to be my father, but now that I think about it, maybe she really was. To solve this mystery, I blurted...

"But how though?! How did you live from the super tornado?!" he then...

Pulled out a syringe for Sierra and said,"I have hemmariods" put it in...

...my eye, and to horror, I turned into a sister/father/brother hybrid. Does this mean I now have to...

...literally screw myself...

...up a water drain. If so, how will I...

...Be able to have my own children unless I was able to give birth to my clone? Then my long lost brother/sister/father ...

...that was actually my pet dog, floated to the sky, then died. I cried for my lost. But then I remembered, I AM the sister/father/brother, and now dog hybrid. Seeing as I am still alive, I wondered...

... Who shall I marry, who would accepted me for being a sister/father/brother/dog hybrid. . . that's when I searched...

In the lake where all the fishes go. Maybe they don't know what a 'normal' human is like, and will accept me. As I dived in, I realized...

*ocean

... that I could not swim. I struggle for the surface, fighting the urge to think that drowning would be for the best. But why? Why had I the strength to keep going when I had been so exhausted? Was I secretly afraid to disappear? That I had been looking for someone else to save me even then? Struggle as I can, I felt the strength leave my body and I feel a burning sensation surge like liquid fire through my tired limbs. Then and there, as my vision begins to fade, I was saved by...

...A cross between a sea urchin, and a whale-mermaid! That's when I remembered, this creature here was my real...

mother, who actually gave birth to me million years ago. I couldn't believe my eyes- all I remember was that I was born as a human, weeping underneath the clothes of human fabric... until I realized that it seemed like I broke a petri dish that time.... Was I really...!!!?!!??! I couldn't believe it- my mother gazed at my face, and when I got up to get a better vision, I was in a room. That room.....

...was stilled filled with water. Does this mean I'm now a sister/brother/father/dog/sea urchin whale-mermaid hybrid! Wow, I'm diverse! But the real problem is...

.... I am still yet to be a viiiirrgginnnn!!!!! I dog paddled out of the room, where i quickly opened the door. Taking myself to the parlor into the entrance, I quickly pulled my arm out.
"WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!?!" The voice of my long lost mother shouted, gliding through the purple water. She grew spikes, shouting, "I STILL HAVEN'T DONE THAT THING WITH YOU, YOU PRICK!!" Swishing in the water, she dashed towards me, but as soon as a needle nearly poked me, I dodged. I frantically tried to unlock the door, BUT IT WOULDN'T OPEN!!!
"T I M E T O E A T M Y .... D I N N E ER!!!!!!!" She screamed, gaping her mouth. She threw her head for me, but stil twisting the knob of the door, it turned out to be an elevator with a"ding!" and I swam in. I quickly smashed the "close door" button, and the ferocious demon was blocked away.
Was that really my mother...???? I cried, weeping and even bit my tongue to be left and die in the elevator, when a sudden shaking appeared...

A beautiful mermaid appeared in front of me. She was the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on as of late. However, it turns out to be someone who I least expected, it was...

My sister from another father, and my sadistic ex on her human form. I quickly tried to run away from her, but then..

She pursued me, stopped me and said:

"Welcome to the jungle
We've got fun 'n' games
We got everything you want
Honey, we know the names!"

I...

...replied, "You say games and fun
but they make me so scared
as I know this is your clever turn
for the two of us to be paired"

And so I...

ran out of the elevator. Luckily, there was a window where I could jump out, and it took me out into a metropolitan city. I was going to plummet into the concrete when suddenly...

...I watched the pathway give out before I could hit it. I instead plunged into the pitch black hole, fearing whatever could await. I felt...

weightless. Free. Like a bird freed from its cage. I thought it would never end until suddenly...

My psychopathic ex grab a hold in my shirt. It cause me to choke making it hard to breath. I feel like I could die any second now if I give up resisting. But all those things were at null, knowing were underwater. I should have died from the moment I started talking to my mom. All those things, were simply dream, but couldn't wake up from it. Until..

I fell asleep again. Or was I dead? It was hard to tell, until...

My mother slapped me silly with a fish, she was worried I was delirious: "Johnny, throw the fucking trash out you useless pleb!" she bellowed. Suddenly, Shrek appeared in all his ogre majesticness. He cried a mighty roar...

and violently exploded into a cat. I named the shrek-cat...

"What the heck just happened?" I said to myself. am I still dreaming? Or Did I went to another dimension when I fell on that pitch black hole? Damn, how do I escape in this nightmare?

All of a sudden, I was in the sky! And now....I'm falling. I realize I might die. So, I spread the wings that ItotallyknewIhad,hovered a while. Everything was okay until some monkey with a chainsaw cut my wings. I noticed...

|___|

That I was riding a dragon, heading towards...

(Bumping because people forgot about this somehow. )

a place called "Ponyville", ready to tear the friendship out.

....But then, a strong gust of wind blew me to the three little pigs. Where's the wolf? I wondered, and that's when I saw...

... the Magic Conch Shell. I asked it if I should continue walking, it answered 'yes'. "All hail the Magic Conch Shell!" I scream into the heavens. Suddenly....

...I realized my life has been changing since the beginning, i was born to die forever yet somehow survive for an eternity after an eternity. i remember at first it was just me and a rapping rock that made me cry, but then at some point i met other people and creatures. I travelled through planets and galaxies and a whole bunch of dreams and dimensions while i died over and over again. At some point i even told my life in third person, my name was then first affirmed, Kyon. but as mother slapped me from a dream i had, i took on the name Johnney. i thought when my life started i was a girl, but am i a boy now, WHY DOES EVERYBODY WANT TO CHANGE MY LIFE AND MY DECISIONS?!!!?!?!?!?!? Even YOU, Tree (username), Must you also take me as your puppet and Mess with my life like the 316 people before you?
"YES! It is my DUTY young one, There will be MORE and I Will NOT be the LAST"
I guess, since i have been made and processed into everybody's main character, i will never be able to be whom i wish to be, my name, my persona, my race, my labels, my gender, ALL of it Can Change. i was a dove angel, iwas you, i have been me, i have been kyon, as well as johnney. WHY CAN'T I JUST BE ME, OR IF I HAVE TO CHANGE, WHY CAN"T I BE SOMEONE COOL... LIKE... CHUCK NORRIS!?!?!?!!?!!!!?!!?!?!?!!?!? There, Tree, my rant is over, now i'll continue the story. I stopped yelling into the Heavens, because the majic conch shell was stolen from me while Screaming out all of my anxieties. Now I...

"That bastard!" I ran after him to get back my magic conch shell, but he sent an army of robots to slow me down! I put in my headphones. The loud blaring music puts me in the zone. Then I pull out my sword, ready for battle...

.....and say "You cannot defeat me!" They stare. I release my powerful attack. Which is.....running away! I ran, and ran, soon forgetting my shell. I arrived at....

...The Pokemon center. I forgot there was one here. So a Previous champion of this region was here. She was very nice and gave me a level 61 Charizard and 8 gym badges too (Lucky me!).She said that i have great potential. After the night ended...

I was also very lucky to run into Brock Obama.
Wow, the one and only, genius president Brock! I gaped my mouth, wanting to say somsthing, when the president sh'd at me and lifted his figer to shut me off.
"My lady, I announce that you will be the new champion and founder of this new region...
. Brockolli!!!"
A group of people suddenly dash into the pokemon center and gave an applause. "CONGRATULATIONS, ____!!" And celebrated the night.
The next day, I woke up in the Pokemon infirmary.... or where I thought I was supposes to be. I stood up, rubbing my eyes, but when I wanted to go wake up my loving Charizard.... he was....

... 'playing' with a female Charizard. I soon was bombarded by an army of eevees that ran over my soul in cuteness.. then in the corner of my eye, I saw...

A giant flying magikarp that shoots lasers from its eyes. I ran to the batmobile and started driving when...

Robin slammed into the side, flipping the car. I crawled out the window and...

The Joker was standing right in front of me!!

Now I realized that I became Batman. Then I started singing my theme song.

I couldn't stop singing. What was wrong with me? The music wouldn't stop!

Suddenly, I was holding a box of cookies!

then, coockie monster appeared and i threw a poke ball on it.

"Cookie Monster was Caught, Do You Want to Give him a Nickname"
Yes!!!, I will Name him... The New "Robin,"!!!!
"Hey that's not nice"
"Shut up 'Old' Robin, at least this one likes my cookies"
"But What about the Joker?"
"I'll Catch him too, but for him i might need a masterball"
"What have you gone INSANE!!"
"Goodbye oldie, I willnowbecome the gym leader of Gotham City," I grabbed my new Robin's Pokeball, got on my bat motorcycle and flew away,"NO ONE Will be able to defeat ME!!!!!"
As I flew away I ran into Super Man...

Superman said "watch where you're going, you powerless dork."
I walked away dejectedly.

Though I got dejected, I want to prove to him that he was wrong. So I threw out a pokeball and shout out "I choose you, "Robin who loves cookies!""

I was so greatful that in that moment Superman had a cookie on him. My "Robin" was Extremely hungry.
...

then, coockie monster appeared...

And then things got really weird.

instead of eating cookies he ate children

then, the children ate coockie monster

Yes the children were very happy to eat the COOCKie Monster xDD

and then, the children ate cookie monster ^^'

>>338>>339>>340

....your ID

sorry, we were connected to the Same Internet :D

You know the stuff that connects everybody online nowadays. You know what, forget the whole cookie monster thing. I'm having a hard time moving on from that. i just need a moment.*Sob*
Anyways i don't need to don the bat suit anymore. i got married and it's been a few weeks since i've really done anything. I'm gaining weight and lost my six pack. i guess i'll just browse the internet for now...
MY GOODNESS!!!!....

I've been sucked into the computer world!

The world of computer controls my very being. I'm always stay at one place all the time. I rarely eat or get a good night sleep. I want to find a job, but my body won't respond to me. I can't do anything at all, except for staying inside that closed room with the internet and me. I became a computer addict.

Day after day, my eyes burned from the mesmerizing screen and my fingers shook from the continuous bashing of the keys. I couldnt leave it. It became a part of me, like my own limbs. Without it i couldn't stand, I couldn't live. Then one day as i woke up, i trudged to my desk where the computer was supposed to be, but once i sat down, i couldnt find it anywhere!

As I looked in the mirror in front of me I realized that I, myself had become a computor.

Look at all those people they keep pushing my buttons!
Leave my keys alone!... No! Dont Look that up!... EW Disgusting, put a videogame instead, please!
UGH. Ok, that's better, yeah maplestory, it's nice and calming...

I found out, how disgusting humans can be. And I accepted the fact that I'm no longer a human but a computer, that collects information every milliseconds. The experience was so surreal, it looks like all the information just exploded in my brain. I sometimes crash, not being able to process the information quickly. It was really fun being a computer. Until that day, where everything's change..

Someone got angry when I crashed on them. They took a bat and smashed my screen in. I thought I was done for when...

When I quickly transferred myself onto a different computer. I was so glad I made it out alive until...

the computer which I transferred is actually a home for a living virus named 'Nomad'. I fell ill..

I could feel Nomad taking over my consciousness; infecting my thoughts and corrupting my memories. Bit by bit I was losing my sense of who I am. I tried to fight back.

But then, I could feel it! My struggle when these all started. All those raped-and-raping, change to Kyon, hybrid, and now COMPUTER! (which I love), but now. I can NOT lose! I will unleash my plan A! THAT IS...

Be a virus itself. That way we can all be nomad, which I'm mad about for taking over my body. If this is going to be the end, let it be. I have enough with life anyway, I have no regret.

without ever looking back i will leave my loved ones and leave for good, so long world, i bid you good bye. for forever i shall sleep with the sky in my eyes.

*Power Off*
"And may Nomad rest in pieces!" The Man Said.
"The Virus is dead. The struggle is over now..."The Man Paused.
"...I think it is now time... we can finally store all this Memory (data), into this dead man's Brain!"...
*Power on*
A lot of clapping was heard all around... "YES! He's alive! The first Human Machine, a Cyborg."
"Where am i?" I asked as i was able to speak.
...

I suddenly heard a faint voice getting louder and louder as I came to my senses.... it sounded like a voice of a foreign man.
My vision was still a bit blurry....... but i could see a kind of tall man who had black skin...
I was puzzled. Who was he? What was he saying?
Then after a minute I came to understand. I could hear and see him clearly now.... I got up and went past him. "Eat russian sushi yo" was all he said.....

"What is Russian sushi?" I asked, "sushi is from Japan..." I looked around the room, it seemed to be a small apartment with not only the dark-skinned man, but also a doctor type guy and a few teenagers around...

Suddenly, I knew what I had to do. I pulled out my duel disk and threw down a trap card, ending my turn. Then...

A wild magikarp appeared!

But then I realized, that wasn't a real Magikarp!! It was team Rocket's Submarine!!

So I Fled and ate Ramen.

But the ramen was poisoned by Ash and Pikachu, who after never attaining the level of Pokemon Masters, turned to a life of crime.

The next thing I knew, I woke up in a body not my own...

As Adolf I talked with a therapist. Then I went home to watch some....

ducks devour the flesh of their brethren...

While trapped in this bunker I gloated over my accomplishments in Europe and thought of how now I wish....

to eat the chicken at kfc

So I decided to go of and catch some chicken in a random house where there were chicken.
I ask the people reading this: "What do you think happened then?"
And I answered my own question like this: ...

What do I think happened?! I was pondering over it when I suddenly felt myself falling off a cliff into...

A boat that takes me to a tiny deserted island. I'm all alone, and I can't remember anymore if I'm a man, woman, cyborg or something else entirely. Is this all a dream?

Dark laughter pierces the air, and a beautiful man with long dark hair and pointed horns grins wickedly, "A dream? Sure, you can call it whatever you like, but in truth, you're already dead. This is hell, and you can't ever escape."

He lunges for me, claws tearing up my flesh and bone when...

...a beautiful woman-thing steps in to stop him. She says...

How could you do this. He is not to be judged by you

The man turns to her, eyes looking to kill, but in a flash she vaporizes him. I lay on the ground, panting, and she helps me up. I stare at her, "Am I really dead?"

She looks at me, distrust burns her eyes as she takes notes of my rather unappealing appearance.
"Think about the phrases oozing out of your gap".

I am shocked.

For some reason though, despite my shock, The situation seems somewhat humourous. Whether it is just me going insane or some cranial reaction, i laugh. The woman looks at me oddly before calmly leaving the area

I get up slowly.There's a door that says exit and....

I see floating potatoes on dullahans

The dullahan extended her hand to me as if wanting me to ride with her

of course i do what any logical person would do and join the dullahan

as she takes me on a magical journey

to the land of basketball playing pirates

When all of a sudden, the lord Doitsu appeared and started throwing potatoes and wurst (sausages) into the air like confetti.

Everyone in the land of basketball playing pirates were happy... Until the fire nation attacked

And soon, the attack leads to drought and bring famine to the entire Avatar's nations.

Then the Emperor-Across-The-Sea and Father of Aslan sent his son to sing to the lands and kiss its booboos better.

Unfortunately, as soon as Aslan arrived, he was shot by a big game hunter

This of course devastated the entire Narnia universe, but had surprisingly little effect on everything else, and life was good for a minute. . . until the droids arrived. . .

The droids oppressed everything for a solid five hours, but everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked.

the fire nation set all the droids on fire, and they exploded! But then the fire nation saw me, and assumed I was the avatar and kidnapped me!...

And then they call The Yaoi god and he raped my rectum

it hurt like hell at first, yet after a while i started to like it and moan like a walrus

My walrus moans turnned on the Yaoi god, so he spawned a rocket dildo and tried to shove it up my rectum

but it was god sized and wouldn't fit, so i did what any logical person would do....i became a sex god

And it finally fit, and then he started the rocket while it was up my rectum an dI flew to space

while i was up in space, with my pants around my ankle, i hit a few asteroids because i couldnt control the rocket

In space I also found one who was also blessed by the yaoi god and we got close to each other made out passionatly

my tongue when inside her mouth and she moaned loudly, thus i started calling her the space-princess of moans

But then I aswel did my own moan, and she awed in amazment and then we both flew onto the moon.....which of course we crash landed

where we met moon monsters that we had to fight off with space dust and rocks

We took the rockets and we shot it out of our rectums at the enemies

they all died horrible deaths with awful screams of pain...

>>404 that busted our eardrums. Afterwards we got sucked into a different story with new main characters, so we are most likely going to die due to the lost of our main character armor...

But we ended up dying due to the Empire

And a new main character took over the story and the Empire. Although this character was better in general, they were sadly still a little mentally unstable.

And I(the reader) was really thankful for the new main character to show up. Never again, would I have to suffer from never ending abyss of overactive imagination. Sadly, the new character is already dead without even knowing his/her name. Rest in Peace, my friend.

And I(the son of the new main character) takes parent's role. Somehow, I miraculously survived the disaster that took my family, including the former main character's life.

I swear vengeance on those who robbed me of my family, therefor introducing conflict into the story.

As a result I endlessly stalk the world looking, just looking, for the person who first introduced this conflict, the first main character's pet rock.

The pet rock survived from the ever changing centuries of characters evolution. This changes was seen by him alone, for he cannot die or completely destroyed. Rocks were all over the place, and those rocks were a part of him. He can use that to stalk everyone and anyone without the characters noticing. This time the son of the new main character, who died without a name, seek vengeance to the first one who made the conflict. But little did he know, the one who is looking for are all around him, nature. Nature is the one who caused conflict. The one who caused evolution to the rock and to the people. Everything that was happening right now was caused by nature itself, and it will continue to cause conflict, as long as, someone lives within it. Nature is playing a game of dice to decide what happens next.

But, I am the avatar and control the strongest elements of nature as well. So I knew this would be a battle to the death between me and nature. So I thought of a great plan... Pollution, and nuclear warfare with the aid of my power. This will destroy nature once and for all! Muhahahahaha... but i'll let the first main character's pet rock live, so that it may suffer all alone in this chaos. Muhahahaha!

Nature was able to adapt. Everything became hazardous to humans. Nature mocked at thee, perishing all your resources. Your attack was very ineffective.

so in order to save humanity, the worlds governments put everyone, except for me, into space ships, and took them to other planets

The other planets were also not habitable, causing the people to wander around the space until they find a place with breathable air and bountiful resources.

However, myself and a select few were able to adapt to the hazardous environment on the original planet, gaining additional powers to help them take out nature. We have started to win many battles.

The battles were intense, they were so crazy that the power rangers wouldn't even help us!

"The power rangers doesn't exist!" said Nature mockingly. Eventhough, people were slowly able to regain their land and win small scale battles, there were still hundred thousands miles, for people to claim.

However, Nature was crafty, the land started shifting. Earthquakes shook throughout the land, the seas rose and flooded the valleys. Nature unleashed all hell to regain its footing on the war.

Nature even mutated its plants so that the animals would do its bidding...

All Hail to the Emperor Nature!

-----bumping----- With just a quick search, I found this one AND FOUR OTHERS.

No one could defet nature because it was all mighty, but i fought with all my might. I even made a flame thrower out of a lighter and hairspray


(also...bump)

The flame thrower was surprisingly effective, but had the side effect of gradually giving me the ability to detect nearby pirates.

Now I knew the only way to have a hope of winning against nature, was to create my own team of pirates.

And there my crew stood...

face to face with the infamous Straw hat crew, with nothing but the One Piece that would make me king of the pirates, this seemed way more important in this moment than the horrible nature at this moment

, but despite all the obstacles that kept appearing. I couldn't help but notice a random frog flying overhead in a hot air balloon.

I grasped it firmly and shook it hard.

"What is happening?"asked the girl
"I'm not sure what's happening, as they"the tree pointed out,"destroyed my perfect ending."
*Sigh* "Might as well go along with it"
The girl sit under the tree as he continued his tale of wonderness

"They thought it was a frog but it wasn't. The MC grasped it, and found himself a green creature, 3 feet tall, and its body is made of antimatter that could explode if been held in one place for 30 seconds" and "Kaboom!" Everything is gone. The end.

...except it wasn't, and this turned into Adventure Time. Everything became mutated candy people, and Finn was there because he was the comet. Marshall Lee, and Prince Gumball are also there, but along with Marceline, and Princess Bubblegum. Unfortuanately, Fionna is dead because the things in Beautopia ate her. Suddenly, we, the writers, discovered that the main character of this non-breaking the fourth wall story is...

Nick Cage

Nick Cage with a crossbow....

Nick Cage with a crossbow as a million aliens stand in front of him

The Aliens came at him from every side as he fired arrow after arrow, but he didn't have an endless supply and would soon run out...

And magically, Katniss, the godess of arrows, made candies and unicorn shaped ribbons rain...

the goddess also supplied him with never ending arrows...

(omg i just read the whole story XD this is crazy, the guy just wanted to go home >_<)

So Nick Cage rained hell upon the aliens, and as they plummeted over the edge of a cliff that had appeared out of nowhere, Cage noticed that the aliens had an item drop. he dove off the cliff, to pick up his harvest. What he found was...

the best meat ever, but he needed someone to cook it. So he went to Asuna's house where he found...

Asuna being attacked by a dragon!!!!

And because he lost all the powers he may or may not have, he couldn't save Asuna, so she died.

But then, suddenly, when the dragon ate Asuna, it grew hair, and its eyes changed to orange!

Dun Dun Dun.

Nick Cage stood there, contemplating. He finally made the wisest decision ever, and told the dragon to blow fire on his meat.

Then...

the dragon did as he was told and cooked the meat, Nick ate it happily as he walked down the street and ran into...

Mother Teresa who beckoned him to her.
"Give me your meat, Sweet Cheeks" she said with a wink.

>>445 (I've been scarred for life)

((>>445 i have no idea how to continue with that XD but i shall try))

Nick gave the woman a look so fierce that she....

Quivered in ecstacy because she had an eye fetish...

An eye fetish infused in her genetic structure said to originate from ancestors with names as popular as Vlad the impaler.

Her name was now Vlad the Impaler. We must say the whole thing, and cannot shorten it or she will explode. But, if she explodes, Nick will explodes, and if Nick explodes....

There will be no Main Character. Wait, unless...

unless Nick killed the woman Vlad the Impaler by first hiding behind the dragon back at Asuna's house and then yelling out "Vlad the non-impaler!!"

And so he....

... Ran down the street to find the house of Asuna, the dragon was sleeping, no danger, he yelled out "Vloud the nan-umpalier". Oh no Nick developed a pronunciation problem!

Nick tried over and over again, but kept pronouncing it wrong and stuttering, and that woke the dragon, who then....

Gave Nick the magic kiss that turned him into an egg. Centuries he hatched as Natsu the...

Kitten. The mighty Natsu the Kitten took a great leap beginning his adventure.
Natsu the Kitten was walking through a forest when...

he met Lucy the kitty sleeping in the sun. She was so....

hot. Literally. It's like the sun going through a magnifying glass. She was on fire. Why wasn't she waking up?!

Is she...dead?

Natsu the Kitten then...

..bit the seemingly lifeless body playfully to check whether she was still alive. The flesh got stuck and emitted a fowl stench.
The Zombiecatocalypse had begun.

The dead Lucy kitty got off the ground and tried to bit Natsu Kitten back, but he moved out of the way just in time to see...

A giant squid zombie came waddling by. It wasn't just the Zombie Apocalypse but A SQUID ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE. The Lucy kitty was afraid of squid and ran off. The Natsu cat...

-----The MIGHTY Natsu the Kitten faced the beast. He put himself in a position to pounce, and ran away!

Days pasted, and he realized that he was...

Nine months pregnant with literal satan, so he...

... began to binge eat chocolate.
After five months...

He started puking inverted rainbows and...

Eventually, he puked up his child who promptly ran away from him, and burned in the sunset. Why is it that everyone he's meet so far burned to death?

The answer to that is...

global warming, the last main charter had upset nature and this was the outcome. So Natsu kitty...

decided to go back in time to kill itself in order to prevent any further pain. this then causes a paradox which...

Everybody is enslaved by body building narwhals. And in this desolate land of ripped sea creatures, there was a Narwhal king who loved to...

work out and bully the killer whales to make them pay for being bullies in the past. But there was this one killer whale named...

Snubby.
He was really weak. Like, really. So weak that he bumped into an iceberg, and died. But, he's still alive because we need him for the plot.

Speaking of plot...

the story will now be told in Snubby's POV to get the full point across.

I thought I died when I hit that iceberg, the only reason that I didn't was because...

The Titanic had softened it up for me. Though the impact did do damage.I ended up floating aimlessly through the ocean for hours and when I finally got my bearings I was...

no longer in the cold waters of the Arctic, I ended up in the warm waters near bikini island....

Where the narwhals lived. They don't like killer whales like me much. Therefore once I washed up on their island...

they started poking me with their horns, it didn't hunt but it was super annoying. But being the weakling that I am I couldn't just fight them off so I...

Just flopped around, and tried to act like their kind. It worked because though I weak, I have great acting skills. From that day onward I lived with the narwhals.

Back to the MC, Natsu the Kitten listened to the story of Snubby even though...

she thought it was completely pointless in her adventure. But in fact it taught her...

that acting like a Narwhals can save your life one day. So from that moment on Natsu kitten...

said that he would make a memorial for Snubby. It was created, and worked out until....

...the killer whales began their rebellion. After taking care of the royal guard, the guerilla army stood in front of the Narwhal king who...

like Italy, surrendered immediately. After the killer whales advanced to...

Choke because they were out of water on a hot day in Patterson. Will they ever learn? Anyway, Natsu the Kitten died too. Because a meteor cam down, and killed him right when he was about to get a job promotion. (That's what happened to my Sim). Then, a hero rose from the ashes. It was...the original MC!

He asked himself...

..how the hell all of this happened.
The obligatory and lengthy exposition was given by...

a magic narwhal who....

...Held the secret to life.
The original MC then...

Shouted, "WHERE ARE MY FLOWERS!"
This yell created the world he was in to collapse, so now he is in space as he was before. He had visions of all his...afterlives, and decided to...

Drastically change his personality by....

becoming a magical girl who...

was named Madoka....

Fisherman. I will now be referring to her by her last name because we have not done it before. Fishermen then did what her name implied, and fished. But, then she met the hybrid...thing from the first MC's adventure.

She then...

started to bet the hybrid senseless with the fishing rod

Until rainbow coloured blood spilled all over her, resulting in Fisherman acquiring the powers of...

Satin!! She used these powers to...

Turn herself into a fish because she always wished to breathe under water. But...

she pissed off Poseidon because she wasn't suppose to be there. So he called Percy to...

Calm his father down, and since Posiedon can't say no to his son's fishy eyes he calmed down, but then....

king Neptune, pissed off that spongebob didn't want to be his personal cook, came up to Poseidon and said....

"You are now and forever will be trapped in (the best series ever) One Piece!"

He did some totallyvalid magic, and swam away, searching for a cure for baldness.

Because i'm bald too. I've become overpowered too and can't find any enemies at my level. Just one punch and BAM, They're dead. My name's Saitama btw. I guesa i'll just go home now...

but on my way home, the unexpected happened!! I...

crashed into a tree and died so the story can focus on a more interesting character

Which is me.... Ok so i don't know wgat's going, but my parents kicked me out of the house. I'M going to go th park... I guess i'll ride the swings too.
I have my earphones and phone too. Time to listen some good music, My favorite song is...

full of palindromes and is written by a man called Weird Al.
"No lemons, no melons," I sang, "Do geese see God?"
The child on the swing within earshot gave me an odd stare and...

called threw his apple at me. So I...

I threw it back at her... Then imediately i apologized, because i realized she was my best friend..

but she was being a jerk today and growled at me!! So I...

didn't voice my apology but made a cynic comment on her character instead. She ran back to her parents, shedding tears. This is where the drama began, because the truth is I love...

To bully people with a passion!!! Even more so the ones that stick around... "But I really should apologize," i thought.
After pondering it over for a bit i ended up at her door, knocking. And when she opened it I...

Stare at her deep. Then smile. I forgot what to do or say so I stood still, smiling. She was scared so she closed the door and locked it. I..

Called her name over and over, until her door opened. But to my surprise, the one who opened the door was...

...Itachi. "But that can't be!" I exclaimed. "Sasuke has killed you!"
"Surprise, motherfucker," Itachi said, then took a pair of chopsticks from his pocket to...

Eat some ramen. Then he let me in the house. I was wondering how he and my friend knew eachother. So i asked,"so how did you two meet???"
From across the room my friend blushed, like a tomato. Itachi then responded to me saying, "...

"You've entered the realm of the dead. We met because we've died at the same time" Only now I noticed the screams of agony resounding in my ear and the lifeless but suffocating figures that decorated the place. The realm of the dead was only ten squaremetres and apparently used the metric system.

I wondered "how the hell did i got here?" Itachi explained to me that ....

"This world consist of multiple dimensions. If the present world, which is the here you live in, falls to utter destruction. The universe have its automatic defense mechanism that will fix any problems. So the world you live in now actually a replica of your actual world which is now in destruction. Your memories about the chaos have been erased when the universe rebooted your world, causing you to lose some parts of your memories."

I was like "wtf?!", so then in simpler words he said...

"This is the parallel world"

"Then why didn't you say that in the first place?! It would have save me alot from my headache" Itachi grinned momentarily like he was a devil doing a mischief, "That would boring" his face turned bored like he was stating a fact that was obvious. "There's nothing fun to do in the underworld so I just troll newcomers and make up stories that sound believable but still what I said to you is real"

I started touching myself

On my forehead... And i rubbed my hand back and forth. I called to my friend and apologized for what i did earlier. I went to her fridge after and opened it. Inside there was...

Sasori cuddling a ham....he hissed at me and said...

" And so, the baconing shall begin!"

I obviously had no idea what that was so I asked him...

Why the hell Naruto characters keep popping up out of nowhere.

He answered "because we all like your friends house, oh... And this is the new hide-out for the Akatsuki"...
Well then, now i believe that my friend is a part of this Akatsuki people. So i yelled to her while i opened the door outside, saying, "goodbye, i'm going to go back to the Park!!!" so i left.
At the park...

I saw Sakuke being chased by Sakura being chased by Naruto being stalked by Hinata and Neji's dead soul looking out for Hinata.

It was so bizarre, I didn't know how to handle this situation, so I fainted!

When I woke up I was...

At the park, my friend asked me if i was ok. It seems that was all a dream, so how did i pass out?
"I threw a rock at you because you were throwing stuff at me!!" she stated.
"Well then, dude, i had the weirdest dream because of that," I said.
I told her everything and we both had a good laugh. Afterwards we went to go eat at mcdonalds and there, she ordered...

A Big Mac with no cheese, lettuce, onion, mayo, bacon?, tomato, buns, and pickles. So basically just the meat.

But the guy behind the counter told her she had to at least order the buns or he couldn't sell it to her; but she didn't want to so I...

Offered her, that I would eat the buns, in one condition...

she would buy me a cookie too. She said...

"Fine I'll buy your stupid cookie." I had no idea why she was so moody today so...

Maybe it was that time of the month...

should I ask her though? What if she didn't buy smy cookie because of it? I...

...decide to take the risk and ask her anyways. I mean.. She wouldn't get mad, right? I am honestly curious. She looks at me and...

burst into tears! When I asked her why she replied, "Hide is gone..." I had no idea what that meant so...

I've searched google for answers

and the results that came up were....

totally unrelated to what happened

damn google never gave me useful information. So I decided to...

Go old style and go to the library.

There, I found the local family trees. As it turns out, her great-great-grandfather was called Hide. I also found an edition of yesterdays newspaper, which stated that a 120 year old has gone missing.

I connected the non-existent dots and came to the conclusion that...

HIdeyoshi, my great-greaat- grandfather, was friends with the man-eating monster nicknamed "eyepatch" but that was nearly 120 years ago.... could they still be present?

Well apparantly hide being dead means my friends great great grandpa is dead and through the family trees i found out Hide or hideyoshi was also my great great grandpa... So it means me and my friend are related. Well, it seems the man-eating monster "Eye Patch" is still alive. From him we'll get the details.

So I went back to the restaurant to get my friend or 2nd cousin...and... She's not there. I asked the cashier and the cashier said "...

"You get no change because the world will end." The End. Or is it?

Sequel Coming Soon

THE SEQUEL BEGINS

Two days after the incident, the signs were every where.
They read "The end of the world is near". That cashier sure knew what he was talking about. By the way, I found my friend at the park after leaving that restaurant (i never did get my change). So me, her & another friend of ours (whom shall not be named for later purposes) were on the look out for the signs.
Although it's only been two days since the initial warning. We already have plans in motion. The 3 of us have our secret hideout at ...

the junkyard. We had a massive castle and a mote filled with oil and sharks. If anything tries to attack we could set it on fire. Nothing beats fire sharks...

Not even water sharks!
" so here's what we're gonna do," said our third friend named 'Eye Patch' who owned this secret hideote of ours in the junkyard, "Listen up, and LISTEN GOOD! The plan is...

to survive long enough for me to learn necromancy. Once I can raise the dead we will...

call onto the almighty Devil slayer also known as...Jimmy. "No, not Jimmy, his wickedness even makes the fire sharks extinguish as if they were a simple candle flame, as if they were nothing" spoke the second friend, you could still see the shock in his eyes after all Jimmy the devil slayer....

killed Buffy the vampire slayer. And that was only the beginning. He was known mostly for...

His cruel and torturing methods toward the way he kill the vampires and beasts. HOWEVER...

he did have a weakness for cute vampire puppies; they were just....

the most adorable thing. So the rest of the plan was to raise a vampire puppy from the dead with the necromancy. But then....

the plan fail, the vampire puppy never showed up, and they realize that they don't even have a mana, and the funny thing is they're not even a necromancer. So they decided to end up their life and then they're woke up in the afterlife world knowing nothing about their past and live happily in there.

UNTIL....

certain memories started to come back, they flashed through his mind each time he closed his eyes. The darkness in parts of his memories began to get filled in with the horror of what happened. After only a month...

the man in the purple spandex tells them that they died in a previous world. Them as is me, my friend, Eye Patch & jimmy & a fifth dudette whom i cannot recall.
The man in the purple spandex told is that if we wish to go back, we could. But only through dimensional transportation. He said that the five of us would have to suffer the adverse side affect of gaining super powers if we went through with it.
The five of us gathered in a circle to discuss this possibility. So after 4 hours and 16 days of discussing we reached a conclusion.
The man in the purple spandex was waiting for our response. We all said, "...

can I have your purple spandex if I go through the portal?" And the man replied...

"No! This is my prize possesion,it gives me magical abilities that no one can possess except for the wearer. I will never give it to you unless..

>>562 you kiss my ass

So he did, and many other yaoi-like things ensued.

As the yaoi-like things progressed, a camera was secretly recording everything and soon it was uploaded onto the internet.

And that was how porn was created.

The man in a purple spandex cried and said, "Its a sarcasm, you idiot, why did you do it? Is having a pirple spandex that really important to you? Here, take it, I don't need it anymore!"

I smiled and put it on. The spandex made me feel powerful (and it looked great on me.) But what powers did it have? I tried....

to release its possible powers, but instead, I was turned into...

a flying donkey with wings the colour of...

The rainbow and they streched out for miles as i attempt to take flight...

. The wing span was so much and so strong that. They even broke through nearby buildings. And then...

The people living in that building began to throw bombs at me, so I...

caught the bombs with my mouth amd chucked them back at the building people, cackling as their homes, bodies, and dreams burst into flames. After subsequently being captured by homeland security I managed to...

transform back into my normal self. This spandex was awesome! Next I decided to...

test out the purple Spandex's dimensional transportational skills along with my four friends and....

My friends were suddenly attacked by a purple dragon! Sure, it was frightening, but when I was desperate to look for weapons to protect my friends, I found the last thing to be one pokeball. I threw the ball at the purple dragon, but as it spewed rainbows out of its mouth, the pokeball was able to open and trapped the dragon!
"I fucking did it, eat my shit", I said, catching the caught dragon as my friends squealed in joy. We didn't even realize we caught a dragon told by legend, which brought the whole city to come and celebrate, ending up with a festival ending for a week.

During that festival I ran into the Dark Lord himself, he was...

the most flamboyant homosexual you could ever hope to meet,

It was blinding, like curtains being ripped open on a summer afternoon. I was pushed back, and I stumbled to the ground.
I reached into my pocket and

Grab a spoon. I'm going to use it to eat my hot fudge sundae.

Urghh my balls!

My balls suddenly hurt so much I woke up and realized I was lying in bed, and everything up to the sundae had been a dream. I frowned as I sat up from the bed and...

cried because I had wanted to talk to the flamboyant dark lord, and maybe share that sundae

But i saw that i had the purple spandex still on. So does that mean.... THAT I CAN TRANSPORT MYSELF THROUGH DIMENSIONS???
I should be able to go to a dimension where that flamboyant dark lord exists, and... If it was in my dreams, then i will travel to my dream dimension!
"Ok, here goes nothing!..."

I ended up in the adventure time universe....what was I suppose to do here?? Princess Bubblegum ran up to me trying to figure out how I had gotten there and it was really annoying.

"You're a human?!" she said, "but Finn is the only human... How did tou get here?"
"Um... I just used my purple spandex..." I replied.
"But that's... It shouldn't be possible!!" awkward silence ensues.
...
...
"Anyways, i'll tell you how the spandex works if you want to know, oh, but only on the condition of you trading me the entire candy kingdom for my spandex. Deal?"

"I can't give up the candy people but I can give you a miniscule size replica of the candy kingdom with actual living people made out of candy drops, ice cream, and dna sample from an actual living being"
I thought hard of what my decisions going to be. If i abandon my purple spandex, I will lose every magical abilities I have including the multidimensional teleport thingy meaning I can never go back to my original dimension which is much shatier than this one.

So I thought more harder of my decision. Listing all pros and cons about having your own kingdom and holding it within a palm of my hands literally.

So i told her to let me think about this. "This decision might actually be important Princess, hmmm..."

"No deal, I can trade my spandex to any princess for their kingdom. I will just go ask flame princess." Would this bluff change her mind?

"please at least let me study your spandex?" the bubble gum princess asked.
"No way, who will buy the cow if i give away the milk for free?! hah."
"huh?" the princess looked puzzled.
"its an old saying"
Suddenly my purple spandex jumped through a dimension by itself and it looked like i was being pulled through the universe.
"woahhhh" i shouted scared shit-less
i arrived in some sort of ship with a lot of buttons and lights.
"oi who the bloddy hell are you?!" shouted the man who had a British accent.
"who are you!?"
and then..

I was in the Tardis, oh and somehow the Spandex brought Princess Bubblegum too.
"I am Princess Bubblegum, Doctor," said PB," and this is the young Purple Spandex Boy who tagged along with me."
"Purple Spandex Boy, excuse me Princess i have a name too!"... " My name is-"
"Oh would you look at that," said the Doctor, " The TARDIS is reacting to your spandex young boy!"...

"I HAVE A NAME! IT'S..."

*Water droplet* "DAMNIT!!! I'm not fucking CC, as I said my name is ..." *water droplet* "..." *cries in corner* "Don't worry about me..."

"Ok" said princess bubblegum and went to the DR. and helped him with their situation. (Didn't really watch doctor who)

PB Did not know what to do...
My purple spandex started glowing and WOOOOOOOSSSSHHHH!
We were somewhere else now.
"Hey PB, It's a good thing we came to this other dimension now, because i honestly have no clue what would have happened if we stayed with the Doctor, i never really watched his T.V. show back in my normal dimension...." i stated.
"Okaaayyy...(awkward silence), look, spandex kid, i have places to be and things to do back in Ooo, so... Whatever the science is with those spandex, could you just get me back to my candy Kingdom?" PB asked in a kind of demanding tone.

"What are you guys doing? Are just going to leave me here" the Doctore said. "My machine is only for certain time and spaces. You can't leave me here out of nowhere. If possible, let me borrow purple spandex. We can use it to transport tardis back to its place. I can also send princess back and you boy/girl to your rightful timeline and dimension. I'm quite unsure of the overall capabilities of the spandex but we can try."

"Can You two just be quiet??!?!? Stop telling me what to do with MY Purple Spandex!!!" i exclaimed with much frustration.

"I STOLE IT FROM THE FLAMBOYANT DEVIL FAIR AND SQUARE. NO ONE CAN USE IT!"

I was quite frustrated with everything. So I killed them all. And now they're dead.

"mmm whatcha say" was playing in the background while...

I was chewing gum... Bubblegum...

So I...

Took a step out into the rain to get away from all the noise...

and died permanently, ending this thread.

wow

"Wow" it is, reader! I saw it too! The majesty of this thread being REBORN! YES, REBORN! Because it is a unicorn merman walrus who is magical, and lives in the Bermuda Triangle! Therefore, since we need a new MC, his name will be...Skylar. He is a sky deity who is married to a cloud.

One day...

This thread closed, too bad other narrators.

"Why? Why?! WHY?!!" A question for pieface from all the narrators and readers.

Why not?

>>612 because it was fun :/

>>613 Why do think I'm here?

>>614 You're the destroyer of dreams and the cause of all nightmares, You are *drumrolls* an idiot.

And thus all the Narators were surprised, in awe with how Easily NZPIEFACE made himself into the main Character.
"I'm slightly Jealous" i thought aloud to myself... But does it matter, i'm just a Tree.

Tree the narrator, you mean. You who holds hundreds or thousands of years of history in your roots. You're The Tree of Knowledge, which I concluded base on the story.

COP: Okay, okay. Parties over, get out or you're under arrest. Anyone that smoked, hands up and walk to the wall. You, too, yes the tree. And you, stop trying to hide the beer, it's everywhere, and we know you're under-aged.

JILL: Who did it, tell me. Who ratted us out.

COP: Anonymous.

"Wtf? Dude, I don't smoke and I'm not underage. Here's my ID *Takes out Identification Card*"

Cop: This is fake. You look nothing alike.

"B-but, I just simply cutted my hair. There should be some resemblance"

Cop: Tell that to the judge

*The Cop put a handcupped on my hands and drag me out*

"NO! Noo!! I'm innocent. Believe Me!"

And that's how I went to prison. The end. Or is it?

2 years later when I'm out jail~
"I've plotted this for many years anonymous. I will find and kill you, even if it's the last thing I do."*evil laughs*

So jill was out for a few months now, on the hunt for anonymous. The clues were everywhere. Jill was getting closer by the minute.
Yet, anonymous was running from everything and still remained... Anonymous. Yes... even after death.

until another narrator decided to but in and say that anonymous was really Princess Bubblegum because she was mad that she never got the spandex.

And so the story continues..

And you were all wrong. There was never an Anonymous, it was the cop who made the call, he just wanted Jill dead.

When Jill realized that he began to train...

train so much that she caught GOku's attention

Goku was jealous at Jill's rapid growth in power.

And it was over 9000!! I also realized that the cop is Pieface.

(I'm so happy that I became a main character :D)

And I realized that Jill's gender changes with every post.

>>625 "he"

>>626 "she"

Jill trained for many decades and became very powerful, jill was perfecting the ultimate attack move which was..

The ultimate super-sayan kancho move, removing opponents from existence and putting them into an eternal hell with just one thrust of jill's clasped hands and index/middle fingers...

Jill did this to pieface and...

no one realized that Jill was 2 sexes...

instead of pieface getting disintegrated, the ability went against the user making user go out of existence. But the thing people don't know about, the ability don't kill the person but is teleported to another dimension, similar to goku's technique. (I'm creating my own doom)

>>634 shut up pie face, I just save you from your impending doom

in this dimension Jill met all of the main characters that were in the story before and...

>>637 decided to kill all the annoying enemies before they could get powerful

Then the gods killed Jill. And kept her dead because revival and reincarnations were illegal.

When the characters who knew Jill met with the gods, they asked "WHY THE FUCK DID YOU HAVE TO KILL HER????/??/?///" and the gods only replied with "We got very bad MarySue vibes from her and tbh she wasn't thug enough for the squad."

"Not thug enough?! That's it, I will hunt you forever"

Then the gods decided to resurrect Jill, but with only a tiny fraction of her power and no way to get it back, just because they didn't want they hassle.

"where am i?" she said. she open her eyes but everything around her seem hazy, although she noticed 3 person standing in front of her, they're talking to each other about something she don't understand yet. Then this tall person look her and tell her something, she can clearly heard it but she don't understand what it means, so she just repeat it back to that person, and then she get her memories bit by bit, she finally recognize them, then words come out from her mouth









"Ed...ward....onii..chan...let's...play.."

and then it starts...

I remember everything. The fact that god777666 is referencing Full Metal Alchemist meaning I'm also an alchemist. I don't know what type though but all is one, one is all. As I remember that fragment of memory, the world started to shake, as the universe is being ripped into half.

And the the universe became the multiverse

And then the story ended because we couldn't care less about continuing it.

>>647 why do you hate it so much? If people didn't care about it, why is it that people still continue the story? I tried ending it before, but people still posting on and on. You just simply need to accept the fact that it won't end soon. After all, this is dollars, we can do whatever we want to do. There's no rules except FAQs that are posted on main. There's no rule about escaping reality once in awhile. So if you really despise this thread so much, then can you kindly please ignore it.

>>648 Dude, it's called humor in bad taste

But the adventure wasn't over for the tree gods...

they decided on their next mission: kill Zeus...

While Jill and NZPIEFACE were arguing about when the story should end and jill won the argument by the way.

So yes, Zeus. The Tree Gods and i had enough of him. He would strike down the trees with his stupid lightning and show off his stupid strength to the other stupid gods with him... The Tree Gods have had enough... So we killed him. Yes when he was eating the apple off my Brother's branches. It was poisoned... And that's how Zeus died. Then...

I was shock that a God just died while I was preoccupied. So that would mean there's no lighting and thunder anymore?

Then everyone got resurrected, people overpopulated the Earth, and everyone lived happily ever after because no one would die, ever.

I was against this notion. People find comfort and relief in death since there would be no responsibilty, no emotions, nothing. Never ending life is a torture than a blessing.

so Jill decided to break out of heaven with a few friends and...

At that moment anything was possible so i..

backspaced my mispelled words, on a keyboard... a Flaming keyboard... outside, in the rain, while driving... On a cabinet with... Laptops for tires. Uhhh... And then...

A HELL HOUND BURST THROUGH THE GROUND! I...

RAN FOR MA LIFE AFTER IT BURST MY CABINET OPEN!!!! Inside the cabinet was...

where you started this god damned story, on the road back home.

And once again I remembered who the real enemy was; the pet rock who raped me. So I decided to...

....co back in time and watch anime, Pet rock came along but watched too much Durarara it died. I cheered but then IZAYA AND SHIZUO came from the mobile phone and started chasing each other, i was confused and shouted: ....

"SHIZU-CHAN LEAVE IZAYAA ALONE!" This made Shizuo...

, wait, not Shizuo, but me, realize that the pet rock isn't actually dead because nothing can die in the worlds anymore, so...

we fought. Of course not to the death, but we fought.

Yes, me and the pet Rock. And then i found out who the owner of the Pet Rock was...

It was a me from the future who had decided to travel back in time...

So he could troll everyone to death but nor literally

Well maybe literally

anyways...

I decided to never have a pet rock so that the future me could never make this happen and then the world would explode once and for all.

But, I survived because...

I am just that awesome. So for the rest of my days I...

realized that I was the villain in all the lives I had in the past, so I decided to change my appearance, and my nature.

(When did this turn first person?)

But my past always came back to haunt me...

So I decided to be that past.

And welcome my new, and past life

So I went back in time, and became the villain, creating a deadly predestination paradox.

A paradox with many timelines connecting to eachother and extending out like branches from a tree.

Only to converge at the start of time

Which is *drumrolls* a specter

which made time flow backwards

All the things that had happened became undone, as if they never were.All of history unravelled and suddenly we were at a time when dinosaurs roam.

In the jungle I roamed with my dinosaur friends, we journeyed and played and we followed the light into a new world so bright.

But that didn't last long, for time continued to flow back, everyone around me disappeared, and I knew in time that I would too. When I realized I couldn't feel my toes, I knew I was being vanquished from existence. The world wasn't going to end because of nuclear warfare or a giant meteor, but time flowing backwards, to the origin of the universe. As my thoughts became muddy, my soul left my body, evaporating in the air. My last thought was that it was a shame no one could see the end.


The End.

This is the perfect ending. I must find a way to close this thread. Otherwise, someone else would comment like me.

>>687 At least I did it right this time.

It is a good ending for the Story, but there's still around 700 posts left 'til the end of this thread... And then is where this Story will truly end.
~to be continued~

Then I realised that time flowing backwards was simply a reference for the pulsating universe, and the fact that the big bang will reverse, destroying everything it created and once again giving birth to a new universe. But that would take another billion or so years. But wasn't it too sad to think that everything would be eradicated, rendering all our efforts to leave a mark in this world useless? To escape this existential crisis, I consulted...

The space rock which is my pet rock. He was able to survive all those destruction. I really wished he died but he's the only one I could talk to and the only thing I see within lightyears away.

But around 10 seconds later, he vanished into a planet which then turned to dust and was flowing to the center of the universe. I was surprised I wasn't dead yet, only my body died, leaving my soul in space. As all went there, it turned into a ball of gigantic mass, leaving nothing anywhere else but me. Suddenly, I knew my fate. After all that bullshit I went through, it was MY turn to be the one and only Almighty God.

I the created the world anew and took the role of a highschool girl in order to entertain myself. I created an alien race, espers and time travellers to spice up my life.

But fate do not chose me. The alien race which I created attacked me and hoping to takeover the world. I must fight!

So I created a whole new armada of bloodthirsty beast called, 'Natdatdam'. They eat everything on their way, and live out by the souls of people's death and misery. And they'll die when every living being is dead. So while they're at it, massacreing, I'll be watching those backstabbing aliens run for their lives, in the empty space with my non-existant pet rock.

I realized that I created the aliens sub-consciously so I wouldn't be lonely in this world where the concept of high school still didn't exist, another problem I would have to fix in due time. But I didn't let them off, they tried to take my almost-new-born creation! After destroying everything in the world, I created a giant fucking predestination paradox, the Big Bang. I knew I only created one because I learnt the universe was made this way, but I could literally make it from my shit (not that I would). Seeing the world evolving for millions of years, I made sure everything was where it was supposed to be. It was around one minute before my "mother" was normally going to get pregnant with "me". When the time came for me to take action, I turned myself into a fertilized egg, wiping all my memories forever, deciding that the world should be as it is, one giant loop.

Like a loopdey loop rollercoaster.
~beginnings~

So, I was walking back home... (continue)

Correction, not back home, but out of my mother's womb. I was named and started my life again. With memories wiped, I was just a stupid little baby that could only cry, so I cried.

My mother held me in her arms so preciously, that I felt the warmth of my mother's love. Yet my body is still underdevelop and my eyes still can't see clearly. But I know whom my mother is as she carries my 8 pound weight.

This is getting really hard to continue......

and this is my story when I decided to walk back home

Or did I?

(Dun Dun DUNNNNN)

Suddenly after the (Dun Dun DUNNNNN) something happened

Something completely, horrid, absurd, and just barely the wrong amount of sexual.

A fell into an empty pit, face first with my skirt over my back...

and now the character is a girl or just one of those bagpipers. People pick a gender and stick to it.

My body is aching all over. I might have broken a rib. I wonder if they're going to use my rib for dinner?..

Maybe they can try and make steak out of it? Its horrible !! I am human iam not supposed to be a food forother people, it.. its... not so cool... :(

Yes this was my thinking the entire time before my Pet rock appeared. I was clearly mistaken on the idea of getting my rins eaten...

It never occured to me that it might be the cause for the pain I am feeling.
Feeling relieved, I continued on my journey into the sunlit horizon, hoping that when I reach my next destination a 6 inch steak will be waiting for me to devour...

I finally found a good steak restaurant just before the sun was...

about to explode in matter of minutes. I'll just have a steak for my last meal, and I would die happily.

against inconceivable odds, i put a slice of steak in my mouth, savoring its entirety. My phone rings.

It's the doctor! He knows how to fix this! And he brought along...

his precious dog.

It's K9 and he has new lasers.

Suddenly, I hear a wheezing sound, and out of nowhere, the unthinkable appeared. I couldn't believe what was happening. I forgot the piece of steak still in my mouth. I stare at the blue box, the man, and his robot dog. As if in suspended animation, my steak remains uneaten.

The madman with his blue box whizzed me of to Victorian London and there stood the potato one (strax)

I just really want to eat my steak but I can't seem to eat it. I don't know what's happening anymore

The reason i couldn't eat the steak was because it was alive and controling me. Yes, me a beautiful girl with no direction in...

Girl?I'm a boy, I spit the steak out an it disintegrates

into magical fairy dust and

suddenly, I was sparkling like Edward from twilight. Dear God, I am...

Exposed of high frequency radiation

Ahhh! My eyes! What wretched light is this?! *looks down at feet* I'm melting! I'm melting!

*Turns Red as the tears run down his face falling onto the soil* I can't keep this feelings inside of me any longer my heart is melting just from looking at him...

as he yells

"I AM A SUPERSTAR"

while playing the John Cena theme song from his iphone 6, holding it like the lion king.

With a buslrst of energy he starts running like a beast only to be found at...

Area 51, where he needed to catch Deoxys in order to challenge...

Bashar al-Assad, the tyrant! And then finally...

He realized that Russia is propping him..

To become the president of United States

I, on the other hand, do not like...

pizza

But I like pasta and frogs

I refused and jumped into the ocean and started to swim to south Korea, only to find the fabulous Korean boy groups Exo and Bts. Surprised, I...

Was caught by Exo and forced to join the

Korean S&N movie club the was being hosted be Exo and at that moment I knew that I had to...

...rap while dressed in a Beaver Suit.

I knew this was my chance, however I...

forgot me mums spaghetti...

so I ran back home...

But it was too late there wasn't any spaghetti left, so I took a chocolate bar

from the cabinet above the stove. And then i turned on the stove and ran out eating my chocolate.

I was running and enjoying the diabete-guarantee chocolate when outta nowhere...

THE HOUSE...

Burnt down and fell on you

Burned*

So I went to find a giant fire extinguisher to cool it out but...

a rabbit! a rabbit with a top hat and monocle jumped out and...

massacred the Uchiha clan

I had to chase him but my house are on flames. Oh well.. My house needs more attention than a massacred clan. I don't even know those people.

I ran into my house to find my precious Skittles, but the clan came back to life and followed me inside.

Suddenly it's the night of the living dead. Zombie buster squad, please come ASAP!

No one responded. I decided within that split second moment to...

do the nae nae for i was told it helps cure diarrhea but then i ended up taking a dump on a nearby zombie who happened to be the reanimated corpse of my friend's friend's friend's…

grandma's aunt's sister's brother's niece's cousin's grandpa's dog's great uncle's friend's cat...

Then I suddenly decided to dance to mexico and illegally immigrate to 'Merica.

I was caught by the police and danced my way to court.

And then I broke out because fuck the police.

With my dank kush in one hand and an absence of fucks in the other, I humbly strode down the street to freedom.

As I was walking, an ugly old lady wearing a skin suit walked up to me.

And she said,

that she is

my father

Also known as JOHN CENAAAA

who's wrestling at summerslam 2016

Then I ran up to him/her saying faaaaaaaaather! only to be struck by lightning.

Now I smell like burnt salmon

So i went into some random persons home, poured all of their tomato juice into their bathtub and sat in it untill they came home.

then i farted twice which reminded me that i left the bodybag in the kitchen

And so what I did next was....

...Got up right away because thinking about the body bag in the kitchen got me a bit hungry.

So after pledging my eternal allegiance to our dark lord and savior Cthulu, I cooked...

My previously-broken rib! But it tasted...

like Eggnog which is strange because...

the rats came and watched me eat. After that I ran to...

A room closest to me, locked it so the rats can't watch me eat my own ribs which taste like eggnogs. I don't really like eggnogs but I'm really hungry. So I ate it like a mad man, chewing the ribs until it breaks.

I fell down after my ribs were gone and my belly was full, and the rats got in the room. I screamed.

I screamed and screamed and screamed, until i couldn't screamed anymore. Next that i know, the rats craw onto me and..

morphed into my greatest evilest, godliest, perfectist, shittiest enemy: Madara. And to that moment I knew that I'm screwed.

I couldn't believe my own eyes that I see Madara right in front of me, I have to gouge my eyes out and put it back to confirmed it wasn't just dream or illusion. Then I knew it, Madara was really right in front of me! and I ask him for his autograph but he..

Turned blood-shot red, then ran away, crying, so I...

..was kind of dumbfounded, "What the hell just happen?" Then suddenly i come to realized that..

this was all Johnny's fault.

Yes, this is all Johnny's fault. That frickkin Johnny. I swear if I ever meet him again I would..

... Strangle him, and rip out his throat. While yelling this is all your fault!

Better yet, feed him to the whales

Eh, you know what? He's trash. He doesn't even deserve the whales so...

SO I TAKE ALL OF THE WHALES!
I rushed to the whale farm to claim all of the precious sea mammals. When I arrived with a deep breath, there I saw them, majestically herding on grass-fed krill. I was literally intoxicated by the view, and silently whispered, "yeah, fuck johnny." My eyes sparkled with STRONG DETERMINATION, and with all my might, I coped all the excitement by making fists. Suddenly, I faced my eyes on the sky. The sky was blue... so was the ocean.... and now the grassland..... CAN BE BLU ETOO! Taking a final, deep breath, I screamed out,

"I WILL FIGHT FOR THE WAHELS!! NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS WITH ME OR THSI WORLD THIS WORLD WILL BE THE WORLD I WILL SEE!!!!" (pls note i purposely spelt some of these wrong).

And then I did the unexpected I....

I fought for the whales and I nearly died when I....

was mistaken for plankton by the whales

There was only one thing I could do. I ...

I slapped them and shouted 'I am victorious!'

A whale gaped its gargantuan mouth and its baleen, like the tall, tawny grass of a Savannah, exposed themselves to me. I struggled as I was pulled by a force akin to a raging maelstrom, and I found myself...

Struggling as someones loud cries could be heard nearby...

"JOOOHN CENAAAAAA"

>>804

-sirens play in the distance-

THE UNDERTAKER

REY MYSTERIO(P.S if I spelled it wrong sorry)

Suddenly, A tree sprang next to me. Surprised I bent to look down on it, until suddenly it grew branches and wrapped around me like I was some girl in an hentai anime getting butt-raped by tentacles... INFINITE TSUKUYOMI!!

but I knew it was all an illusion for I was Loki master of illusionary magic! and so I broke hold from the spell! the trees vanished like the bad dream that they where. I transformed into a black hawk soaring above the clouds when suddenly...

Chimpanzees riding on lime green velociraptors invaded the city while throwing pies filled with dolphin gummies.

Out of nowhere, my grandma jumped in front of me to sheild me from the pies.

grandma had dragon wings and scorched the airborn pies with her fire breath, befor geting hit in the face. she then turned into a dolphin

So basically she's a shape shifter but because there wasn't any large area of water she decided to become a mouse instead

What I don't get it what does she turn into?

Whatever Grandma wants to turn into, iguess.
So a rat huh...
A day passed and my neighbor came by asking for grandma. I told him she turned into mouse...
My neighbor said they just killed a mouse hours ago...

...so I killed my neighbour with a toothbrush.

There was a knock on the door.....

and a giant toothbrush was there. She kept asking why I shoved her baby down someone's throat.

I froze...why was there another one?!

It pulled out a 12 gauge shotgun and pulled the trigger, I dogged away just in time, but even so there was still a small nick in the side of my arm...

I struggled to remain conscious, I had to if I wanted to find their leader. I ran back inside looking for something to kill the beast before me.

...Grandma's Toothbrush!
That tooth brush was a force to be reckoned with. It was equipped with...

A simple handgun... I quickly threw the wooden spoon I had found but it was futile.. It had noscoped me somehow. As I was fading away I saw...

A huge dragon,wreaking havoc in it's wake,and then something else came,it was...

King and Queen toothbrush. They tried taming the dragon with some whitening toothpaste but just made things worse. Now she is the only hope we have, her name is...

Aster. She grabbed king and queen tooth brush and used toothpaste to stick them together. Then at last she...

Had a vision, she threw it away and reviewed her mistake. The king's head shook, a mixture of relief as he saw Aster throw away the toothbrush, but light confusion as in to ask, "Why?" But then Aster did something unexpected, like the devil on her shoulder had stabbed her in the neck and taken control of her body. She grabbed the closest...

Royal dental floss, made of the purest gold of the land, as well as many other lands. In the blink of an eye, with the daintiness of a fairy, Aster approached the Queen with the intention of...

Whispering in her ear. "There isn't any mouthwash left.." Aster said almost like a sigh. Taking the Royal floss she...

Attacked the monster at high speed. As she hit the monster over and over again,Aster finally took out her special weapon. It was a katana struck with a...

A toothpick. She brush my mouth and killing all the plaques. When I was just asking for a mouthwash, what the hell is wrong with this place?

So I blew her brains out with my sawed off shotgun, when...

When suddenly a loud,sharp noise could be heard everywhere. Aster tried tracking the sound but..

I woke up to find out that it was only a toothpaste commercial on TV but then the door bell rang so I went and opened it, and there she was the great and mighty Aster

Aster,being the great and mighty person she was, called out a limo and opened the door for me. Next thing I knew I was asking her to go to prom when a sudden katana came out of nowhere and....

Turned into Martian Freaking Manhunter.
I paused and did a re-evaluation of this.
"Why are you a katana?" I asked. If he is here, then surly the rest of the Justice League is here.
Soon I had a better question, "WHY are YOU here?".

Then I realized. The girl was his niece.

"Oh shi-".

My prom night is going to be ruined if this keeps happening. I called the Justice League which is my emergency number. I got this number when I saw batman doing backflips in a five story building. He's very acrobatic. Since I approach him and asked his number, we suddenly became online buddies, playing COD, if he has time. Last week, he introduced me to his co-workers, the Justice League. Though it was really awkward at first, I was able to converse to them, and ride to their awesome space craft. And eventually got this number, which is mostly used by government officials.

God damn it! I shouted out in complaint when king and queen toothbrush came again and they being the queen and king, attacked Aster and the Martian Freaking Manhunter and then suddenly out of the blue, came...

The Toilenator! from KND.

He was getting ready for Black Friday.

Hopefully he wouldn't get stampeded this year

Last time he ended up in hospital...

(I don't want to re-read the story all over again so forgive me if I get something "wrong")

...with his kitten that ate a tadpole. That tadpole swam around in it's stomach for a few weeks which made him wonder what other life was in his kitten's stomach.

.Oh wait....I think that was my dream last week.What really happened is he got stampeded by a swarm of kittens that ate tadpoles for lunch, then suddenly...........

a group of rabbit appeared, overthrowing the leadership of the kittens in that area.

...the kittens were furious. Did those rabbits not hear about their species always planning world domination?! The nerve! Fur puffed, and backs hunched, the kittens devised a plan that would regain their leadership...

...But what use would it be? Some of the older cats wondered, while there was something ominous looming in the horizon. It was..

A rock.A gigantic rock shaped as a dragon. I climbed up on to the rock until I could see the Cats and the Rabbits.Then I remembered that it happened last week.Then suddenly I saw Aster again(Read about 10 psts back)And I suddenly remembered.I was suppose to kill ms and mr toothbrush! Then suddenly out of nowhere came...

A camel! I didn't know what a camel's did in this kind of situation. But, that makes me frustated. In addition, i saw a giraffe and...

A Tarsier. The three of them were travelling together, until they stumbled upon this wrecked up city in a middle of a war. Rabbits and Cats are fighting with each to achieve complete supremacy.

I attacked both Rabbits and Cats,and got my ass kicked but then out of nowhere,Aster with ms and mr toothbrush came.I grabbed the giraffe by the neck and hit everything I could with it.Then a sword called Calibur cam out and then...

I grabbed that sword like a boss! And I...

.... CUT A WORMHOLE IN THE SPACE AND TIME AND BY DOING THAT I HAVE GIVEN ONE WISH BY GOD AND THAT WISH IS FOR THIS STORY TO END.

THE END

But the end was just the beginning of the REAL story because satan refused to let this thread stop ever ever ever mwahahahAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHGASJgdjsagkasjhdfgl

>>854 GJ man, nice ending. But it will never be as good as my one. (Scroll up, cbf finding it)

Yes, so he decided to drag in everyone that ever posted on this thread into limbo.

Now people are stuck in the same day, living it over and over again. People who had it worst, is the person who died at that day. They have to relive their pain and suffering until it became dull to even care.