I looked my enemy dead in the eyes; there was something reflecting in those brown orbs, but it passed too quickly for me to even guess as to what it was.
I shook my head. "We don't have to fight... I don't want to kill you."
A grin past through their lips, but it was a sickening grin. "But yes... we must, and it you do not intend to kill..." A shine came from the ring on thier finger. "Then this will be all to easy..." A sword apparated from thin are and they took it into their clutch.
Thier smirk was wiped away and the rushed foreward.
I was about to bring up a firewall -for protection- when something flashed infront of me, I stood there, frozen.
A simple "No," escaped my lips before everything went black...

--------
So... Uhm, what do you guys think?

That's really good! There are a few errors, though.. XD

air* not are.
"and it you do not intend to kill." Is it supposed to be worded that way?

er... wow... it was supposed to say if... not it....

>>3 Ahaha, i make the same mistake a lot.

Also, "I was about to bring up a firewall -for protection- when something flashed infront of me, I stood there, frozen." SHouldnt it be a comma instead of a dash?

And "everything went black..." Unless its in a dialogue, its unusual for there to be a "..."

>>4 Heh... I'm just not that good at writing...

>>5 You're better than me, and i'm looking to make it my career...

>>6 Eh... I really want to make this my career, but with my grammar... I'd probably fail and become bankrupt....

This prologue is for a story that I've re-written about... three times? I thought of this about two years ago and I won't give up on it. It's the first story that was fully created without any refrence to another thing.

>>7 I wish you luck with it. I am always open to help editing it, tossing ideas around, or co-writing. :D

>>8 kay, I'll give you more when I've got the first chapter written down.

>>9 Alright! And do you want me to point out places you can improve, or all out change it up to see if you liek it better? I'd also need to know your storyline..

>>10 Okay, but I'll give it to you tommorow... I feel as if I'm going to pass out soon so,

Night~

>>11 Goodnight, Ravana. :)

Yeah, there were a lot of spelling issues in this.
Imagery was decent enough though.

If you didn't correct the spelling/grammar already, here's what I caught. I see someone mentioned the "air" mistake already. A few of these might just be from typing it, so my apologies if anything's wrong on my part.
*a grin passed
*and if you do not intend
*their
*Then this will be all too easy
*and they rushed forward
*flashed in front

While I think it has potential, it is far too short for a prologue (in my opinion), there are many errors, and the sentence structure was slightly annoying. There wasn't much variation. Also, there wasn't really any proper separation between the paragraphs, and the parts that seemed to be paragraphs were a bit short. Short paragraphs are fine, but continuously having them be only one or two sentences is a bit far, you know? Some of the descriptive words weren't quite used properly, such as referring to the eyes as orbs. If you had just said iris(es?), you would have sounded more intelligent. Orbs just sounds silly. Not to mention that you really over-used elipses in that, which makes it obvious that someone who is younger and doesn't quite understand how to use them wrote it. You don't want your age to be obvious in your writing, you know? It will lead to biased criticism.

Also, the italicized text wasn't necessary. It makes it a bit more annoying to read. It's best to stick with italics for thoughts, emphasizing, and maybe dream sequences.

>>15 heh, alright.. sorry.

I wont bother pointing out the errors in grammar and spelling, seems like those have been tackled already(not that it can't be fixed). What you have already is fairly good, but if you want to capture the attention of the reader with a prologue it has to the be exceptionally descriptive as well as intense.

You have the intensity right, very much so, but the way you portray the characters mentioned almost feels like they're in a dark room where we can't really make them out. Setting the description for your protagonist and antagonist early is a good way to cement their overall character into the minds of the reader.

And to wrap up my string of opinions, I agree with Barabi. Try to widen your vocabulary a bit. Don't be afraid to use larger or even obscure words to describe a person or situation. They really do, not only make yourself sound smarter, but make the the reader feel more intelligent when they pick up on the meaning of a more complex word or sentence(it's also a good way to obtain a fan following).

Good luck with your writing, I hope I helped in some way or another.

Alright.. So I re-wrote this prologue... It has more imagery in it than the last one... And the typos are probably just my fingers failing on me...

-----------
The massive door creaked open ever-so slowly, showing the eerie room. A burst of cold wind hit my face as I advanced onward.

Inside shown that it was not a room, but a long hallway. On one side paintings fulled the wall; some made by little children, and some very professional, one door was on the side.

I felt a lump growing in my throat, but I quickly shook it off. Those memories were too much, and this was an unfavorable time.

My eyes flicked to the other panel, two long spiral staircases ended in this hallway, those stairs lead up to different rooms, one of them was attatched to a balcony.

Something moved in the corner of my vision and I turned. My eyes sought somthing out at the other end of the hall, but it was much too dim for me to make-out exactly what it was. Untill I saw their hair, that is.

They were who I was looking for, and they were looking for a fight.

-------

hmm, i liked the first one more. Me Gusta. Keep writing Ravana!

>>18 Half of my original criticism sticks.
Grammar errors, bad sentence structure, and extremely short "paragraphs" are still plaguing you. Also, this one isn't really interesting at all to me compared to the other.

>>18 Thats an improvement! It needs more detail, though, and needs to be a bit longer.

>>21 Yeah, I'm trying.. it was just the first time I tried to do this much imagery... and I was struggling a little on it.

>>22 If you need help with imagery.. Its my specialty. I could rewrite >>18 for you and see if you like it, if you want. o3o

>>23 Sure...

>>24 If you want me to.

>>25 You can~

>>26 Okai!

GIVE ME MOAR STORY!

>>28 LATERZ! I haven't had much time to write...