1 Name: girl who likes to sing : 2011-12-30 21:26 ID:80fI2i9a (Image: 600x424 jpg, 78 kb) [Del]
its as the title says. this is an excerpt from my story. book 2.
"Do you really think I would go down that easily? When I have something to take care of. Something to watch over? Someone to protect? As long as you are still standing, as long as you are still alive, as long as you still exist, I will not die!"
"It's time for you to lie down and accept your fate."
"I just told you, I won't die! though my heart has stopped beating, and the blood in my vains is still, I am here. I still exist. I exist, to defeat you! and even though I will someday be a demon, the very creature you are, the creature I am fighting right now, I will stand by the people I love. I will stand to protect. I will stand to fight! to defeat you!!!!"
2 Name: girl who likes to sing : 2011-12-30 21:27 ID:80fI2i9a [Del]
also, this goes great with the song adiomachine-final hope
3 Name: Ring : 2011-12-30 21:58 ID:QJJ1K3yP [Del]
Heya, I can review this, right? :)
You won't take it personally, I hope. What I have to say isn't mean, just some advice.
4 Post deleted by user.
5 Name: *insertnamehere*!!mhJDjCwh : 2011-12-30 22:02 ID:34RZ1qNo [Del]
http://dollars-bbs.org/literature/res/1321848337.html
Isn't this the same as the above thread? Please, keep all related things under one thread. If this is different from the above thread, you have my apologies.
6 Name: girl who likes to sing : 2011-12-30 22:16 ID:80fI2i9a [Del]
>>5 if you look at the names, you'll see they're not the same thread. sorry if that sounds mean. just saying. to answer your question, no they are not the same.
7 Name: girl who likes to sing : 2011-12-30 22:17 ID:80fI2i9a [Del]
>>3 yea totally. im always open to editing. and comments. ;)
8 Name: *insertnamehere*!!mhJDjCwh : 2011-12-30 22:23 ID:34RZ1qNo [Del]
Is the topic the same? If it's the same, then the thread is a duplicate. It matters not the name, but the topic. Because... A topic could be the same, but with different names, and a topic could be different with same names. We're going by the same topic, not same names.
9 Name: girl who likes to sing : 2011-12-30 23:32 ID:80fI2i9a [Del]
no they are not the same in any way. only that they are both written and not yet published. my story is an anime. i don't know about the other person's, but im sure they're not the same. i do not and will not copyright.
10 Name: *insertnamehere*!!mhJDjCwh : 2011-12-30 23:38 ID:34RZ1qNo [Del]
... What? Copyright? But that other person IS YOU.
1 Name: Girl who likes to sing : 2011-11-20 22:05 ID:80fI2i9a
9 Name: girl who likes to sing : 2011-12-30 23:32 ID:80fI2i9a
And that's what you said about the other story, that they're both an "anime". Which you're using the term wrong. An anime is an animated cartoon from Japan. You're not from Japan, so it's not an anime. And it sure as hell not a cartoon or animated, so it can't be can't be called an anime anyways.
Please, can you get the fuck out and grow the fuck up you weeaboo. I mean, I've said it once and I'll say it again. The term you're looking for is not anime, it's novel. Or novella, depending on the word limit.
11 Name: Ring : 2011-12-31 00:00 ID:QJJ1K3yP [Del]
Okay.
If this were a novel, short story, etc., there should be some more description of what's happening between dialogue. Not all the time, but some is good. Such as what the characters feel as they say these lines or what they're doing. If these are for a comic/manga, okay then. Also, the lines are just---- cheesy. Sorry. They don't really paint a good picture about the character nor their personality except that they're cliches. The character I see is an overused one. The main dude sounds like one of those overused arrogant, overconfident, stubborn, overdetermined, I'll-fight-because-I-have-a-purpose characcters. The antagonist sounds like the overused arrogant, overconfident, I'm-so-badass characters. They're too overused. I don't really see round, original characters. When I read this, two characters from Bleach (Ichigo and Aizen) popped into my head. Ya can't have readers have that happen to them. People are never like this in real life. Everyone feels doubt and fear on the brink of death, it's just a fact. They can hide it, but it's still there. Again, include descriptions in between and use some more descriptive words. What I do, I try not to use "to be" words (am, is, was, were, did). And don't overuse words. Also, this wasn't a very good excerpt to post onto a site you've never posted onto before. Use the one that paints the best picture or kinda explains the main conflict well.
Plus, it's "vein", not "vain".
I'd revise/edit if you want. Dunno if you want my help....
Well, tiny resume. :) I'm the top of my English and Literature class and several other classes. My Spanish teacher requested for me to write a college essay for her because all the others in my class recommended me. My English/Literature teacher rated this story I wrote (and will not publish cause I'm insecure online...) 5 stars. I have a semi-job writing stories for my classmates because they love my writing so much.
12 Name: Misuto!M4ZBq07Cs. : 2011-12-31 21:39 ID:h8dCB39X [Del]
Insert, even though it's about the same thing, it looks like this thread is a discussion topic for her story itself. The other one was asking for an artist.
As long as she keeps further discussion on this thread, it's fine.
13 Name: Tsuki !TSUKIx5W46 : 2012-01-01 11:56 ID:v2ejuI0y [Del]
>>12 As long as she FUCKS HERSELF AND HER RETARD FUCKING BRAIN OFF THIS SITE, everything will be fine.
14 Name: Tsuki !TSUKIx5W46 : 2012-01-01 11:56 ID:v2ejuI0y [Del]
I FUCKING HATE YOU, YOU STUPID FUCKING USELESS SACK OF MEAT, WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING RETARDED. GO DIE.
15 Name: Kalidin !AnnC9ODlrc : 2012-01-02 20:16 ID:P+7HRmSt [Del]
>>14 no reason to be a dick tsuki. just remember ELE!
16 Name: BarabiSama : 2012-01-03 09:27 ID:cc/r7767 [Del]
>>9 You can't write a fucking anime. If it's in script form with an explanation of actions, it may be considered a manga. If it's drawn first, with those actions, and then made into an anime, then yes, it's an anime. This shit is not an anime.
17 Name: ame : 2012-01-03 12:52 ID:5BHVAvGE [Del]
If u want to turn this into a manga then u need an editor
18 Name: Seika Chugo !!dZlEviJU : 2012-01-03 13:10 ID:pccFUuyN [Del]
>>17 You need an editor to turn it into anything, including a book.
19 Name: Celestial Envoy : 2012-01-04 04:02 ID:qBCsc1iM [Del]
>>17 and
>>18 No you don't need an editor to make a book, you just need one person and that's the author. I don't believe Hubbert Selby Jr needed an editor when he wrote his book, or that one bitch who wrote the Harry Potter books (didn't like them FYI).
20 Name: Rock Angel : 2012-01-04 11:28 ID:SM5ZtpCZ [Del]
I think i'm looking at a future made anime I would so watch it
21 Name: BarabiSama!!C8QPa1Mt : 2012-01-04 15:23 ID:2t7n0+39 [Del]
>>19 Oh, lord. I've read plenty of books to know that people need an editor. Even if it's just a friend who's reading over your book with a red pen. Also, almost every publishing company is going to assign you an editor previous to them publishing it and/or will want you to have hired one already.
>>17 You need an artist and it needs to be in a script form designed for making a manga. This is not designed for making a manga. Editors aren't nearly as important with mangas, although they do need to be there.
But more importantly, unless you're going to live in and publish it in Japan and have it completely in Japanese, it is not a manga, it's a comic.
22 Name: Misuto!M4ZBq07Cs. : 2012-01-04 16:49 ID:h8dCB39X [Del]
While I don't condone arguing about the semantics behind whether or not it is an anime or manga (it's neither, decisively.) I feel like OP needs to realize this before it can be discussed as a written work.
The fact you call it an anime means you run under the stereotype that the medium dictates the content, and in that sense, you are creating a story based on a fallacy. Anime is not a genre, no matter how you slice it. If I could offer any piece of advice, it would be to learn this fact first before continuing to write - you're restricting yourself.
