Dollars BBS | Literature

feed-icon

Main

News

Animation

Art

Comics

Films

Food

Games

Literature

Music

Personal

Sports

Technology

Random

Original Story: "The Avion"; Constructive Criticism? (3)

1 Name: Chye : 2011-01-04 18:12 ID:awz5P8zR (Image: 385x736 jpg, 46 kb) [Del]

src/1294186336909.jpg: 385x736, 46 kb
Arthur sighed as he walked out the front doors of Greenwood High. All of this about a dangerous Shadow and being a reincarnated King-on top of the usual dramas of high school-were exhausting him. He tried to focus on the crunch of gravel beneath his feet and the chatter of other teens making their way to their cars to go home-things that were still normal. Until he realized that those sounds were getting further away. He looked up and realized that he'd walked all the way to the edge of the parking lot. "Oops." He started to head back to Tristram's car, when he felt a sudden chill run up his spine. He spun back around and almost choked on his breathe.

There, leaned against a tree, was the supposedly very dangerous Shadow that had been following him for months. Only it wasn't a shadow anymore. It was a tall man with fair skin, dark blue eyes, and jet black, wavy hair that fell just below his chin. A Cheshire-cat grin stretched across the man's face as something brushed at the edge of Arthur's mind-like a memory that flitted away when he tried to focus on it. The knee-length coat he was wearing-made entirely out of black feathers-looked far too hot for the mid-April weather.

"Merlin..." Arthur looked back over his shoulder to see Tristram staring wide eyed at the strange man.

"Hello, Sir Tristram. And hello, Arthur."

Arthur couldn't repress the shudder that ran through him at the man's greeting. The way he'd said Arthur's name was so familiar, so intimate, that it was more than a little creepy.

"Wait, THE Merlin? Like the wise old wizard with the pointy hat and the long beard?" Arthur somehow knew it would get on the man's nerves, but couldn't stop himself from saying it.

Merlin's eye twitched, but he kept smiling. "Of course, my Lord." he bowed his head to Arthur respectfully, and when he looked up again his expression was suddenly far too sad. "You don't remember..." his voice was emotionless, but somehow Arthur could hear the sadness there. "...But you do..." he continued, eyes flitting to Tristram who was still standing behind Arthur.

"That's right." blue eyes fixed back on Arthur as he spoke. "Everyone remembers...except for me."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thoughts everyone?
As I'm sure you've guessed the story is about King Arthur being reincarnated into the 21st century, but he can't remember any of his previous lives and is (of course) in danger-as is the safety of the world.
As for the picture, I had to resize it to fit it here. Go to my dA to see the larger image here:
http://moxy-x.deviantart.com/gallery/26943467#/d31f4c8

2 Name: Joker : 2011-02-16 13:05 ID:0mdg4cw/ [Del]

I liked this a lot, Chie.

3 Name: Chye : 2011-03-20 10:19 ID:lantwsVP [Del]

Thanks. ♥ If you'd like to read more of it, I plan on putting some more on my art account later. I could post a link here if you's like.