Surprisingly, I haven't seen any threads regarding traditional games, such as Dungeons and Dragons, Pathfinder, and Warhammer.
As such, i though i would make a thread for funny quotes from anyone's campaigns with little to no context given. Here's a few examples from my games.
>P1"I attack the nearest person with the severed umbilical cord"
>P1"What is the blast radius of their commander's horse?"
>DM"The towns people flee from your path and lock their doors"
P1"Why are they so scared of us, I mean, yeah, we just walked out of a portal that may have caused a bit of damage to their houses, but that's a reason to be pissed, not scared."
DM"when was the last time you and your party bathed?"
P1"Oh dear god..."
>P1"I attempt negotiations"
DM"They fail"
P1"What is the cooldown on my Orbital PeaceMaker?"

Me: Guys, this battle seems a little out of our league, we should probably run.
Friend: Uhm no, my name is Binowen the plain, not Binowen the Pussy.

XD my friend always has the funniest things to say during D n D